The first ten days after returning home, life seemed almost normal. As normal as life could be when you were married to a man like Edward.

It was obvious Mrs. Cope wouldn't be returning, and I convinced Edward to hold off hiring anyone. I spent my days cooking, exploring my new home, and spending the evenings with Edward.

The house was vast, stretching out on both sides from a large central area. Edward spent all his time on the west side in his office and the adjoining rooms. The entire wing was used by his team. He was surrounded constantly by his men; although I could pick out his voice easily if I passed the hallway where the office was located. There were other rooms, but they were all occupied with Edward's crew. There were computers, men, desks, and all sorts of cabinets, and giant wipe boards covered in writing. Most of the time the door was shut.

Edward's office was massive, and his desk covered with various computers. There was a big table with lots of chairs around it, and I knew he met with his team there regularly. If I went in, he was careful never to let me see what was on the computers, and always flipped shut the files on his desk. He was protecting me from the contents, and I was grateful. There was nothing personal in the office, but it was obvious it was a well-used space.

The east wing was more the lived-in part of the house.

Off the main hub was the large room where we had exchanged our vows. It was a rarely used sitting room, filled with heavy furniture and thick rugs. It was very formal, and I found it overwhelming.

The library, I discovered was more to my liking; although it too was bigger than any personal home library I'd ever been in. But the chairs were comfortable, and the lighting good for reading. There was a great selection of books, and I knew it would keep me occupied for a long time.

On the second floor, there were six bedrooms, all with their own baths, and two rooms that sat empty. I wondered if Edward would object to me making one into a sitting room. The size would be easier to handle.

At the back of the house, on the main level, was where Alice, Esme, and Rose spent their time. It was bright with lots of windows and looked into the thick evergreens. I had gone in and said hello a few times, but I seemed to make Rose uncomfortable, so I kept my visits short. Esme assured me Rose would come around.

I was comfortable in the kitchen. Well laid out, it had an enormous wing back chair by the fireplace where I could read, and a built-in desk I liked to sit at to write lists or use the computer to look up recipes. For the first time in my life I didn't have to work, and I enjoyed playing housewife. Most days, Edward came in for lunch. He would hurry in a few times a day for coffee, to grab some cookies, and he never left without kissing me long and hard. A couple of times he lifted me to the counter, and fucked me. No one ever came in the kitchen while he was there, and I knew they never would. Edward would never allow that to happen, so I was safe to enjoy his spontaneous amorous side. Every evening, he appeared by eight, and we ate dinner at the table. He opened a bottle of wine, loosened his collar, and became my Edward. Warm, loving, and affectionate. Then we would retire to our room, and spend the rest of the night exploring each other.

And then things changed.

Lunches ceased, and more times than not, the sandwiches I had Felix take him came back uneaten. He started coming to dinner later, some nights never showing up. At first, I went in search of him, but I encountered Emmett outside the office every time and he just shook his head.

"Not now, Bella."

Edward came upstairs later and later, and often, I was asleep by the time he came to bed. He was usually gone when I woke up. The rare times he appeared before I fell asleep, he would shower, slide into bed, and without a word, take me, his touch needy and desperate. The only words he spoke were in passion, as he groaned and shook above me.

"I need you, my wife," he would whisper. "I love you, Bella."

But he no longer held me.

When I woke up this morning, I realized he hadn't touched me in a week. The last three nights, I slept alone.

In desperation, I talked to Esme, who listened quietly as I spoke.

"I feel as if I'm losing him already. I don't know what I've done wrong."

She sighed, rubbing my arm. "Nothing, Bella. Edward is very new at this." She paused. "I shouldn't tell you this, but they are working on a new situation. I think this is Edward's way of trying to protect you. He becomes obsessed and different when this happens."

"Different?"

"Do you remember when you met him?"

"Yes." I shivered, thinking of that night. His coldness, and the fact I had watched him kill people without blinking or showing remorse.

"I think," she began, and sighed again, "I think he is finding it harder, given the more tender side you have brought out in him. There are two sides to him, and he is trying to keep them separate."

"I know who I married. I accepted that when I agreed to become his wife."

"I know. And he will figure out the balance. Be patient, and love him. He will come back to you, and once he does, you can talk to him about it."

"All right. I will try."

"Come have lunch with us next week. Give Rose the chance to know you more."

"She seems so tense when I am around."

"Sometimes she needs to be pushed. She would never be rude to her brother's wife, so if you join us for a meal, she will stay."

"Maybe I could make something?"

"She loves your cookies. Edward brings them by on occasion."

"Okay, I will."

She glanced over my shoulder. "You have a lot going on over there."

"It's our one month anniversary. I'm making Edward his favorite dinner. I even did special cookies that Felix delivered earlier to remind him."

"I'm sure the date will not escape him." She stood. "I'l see you next week?"

"Yes."

She left, and I finished dinner preparations. I went upstairs, showered, and changed into one of Edward's favorite dresses. Midnight blue, with an off the shoulder neckline that left my collarbones bare. He informed me they were sexy, and I wanted everything tonight to be what he liked.

I set the table with candles and flowers. At eight, I got the food ready.

Then I waited.

At eight-thirty, I knocked at his office door, but it never opened. I tried the handle, but it was locked.

At nine, I blew out the candles.

By nine-thirty, I put away the food, then too tired and sad to worry about the rest of the kitchen, went to bed.

I poured a bath and slid in, still hoping Edward would rush in full of apologies, and we would make love in the tub. Then we could go downstairs and raid the fridge together as we had done a couple of other times, and the night would be salvaged.

But he never came.

I tried to read, but I couldn't concentrate. I curled into bed, wrapping my arms around his pillow, and gave into tears.

I was still alone when I woke in the morning.

I was surprised when I went downstairs the next day to find the kitchen cleaned. I wondered if perhaps Esme had done it, but at that point, it didn't matter. I began to look around, mentally preparing the day's menu, when I stopped.

Why was I bothering? Edward wasn't going to show up for dinner tonight either. If our anniversary meant nothing to him, then why was I continuing to spend hours cooking only to throw out the food?

I sat down in the wingback, feeling dejected and confused. I stared out the window at the lush grounds. People were working away, keeping it beautiful and pristine.

Yet, no one ever used or enjoyed it. It was a waste.

It hit me.

Just like this house.

It wasn't a home. It was a façade for Edward's task force. It was where they planned their missions, plotted the deaths of those who they caught.

I shivered. Edward had stated he wanted a family. Children. I glanced around, trying to imagine happy little toddlers in this large, rambling house. Would their laughter ring out or would they be silenced, cast to an unused spot in the house as not to disturb anyone?

Tears filled my eyes at the thought. I wouldn't allow that. I wanted my children raised in a home filled with light and love. For them to be happy.

"I fear your clothing is suffering again."

I started at the sound of Edward's voice. He stood a few feet away, his hands in his pockets. He looked exhausted, his shoulders bent and his expression weary.

I dashed away the tears from my cheeks, and stood.

"I'm sorry, coffee is not yet made." I slid by him. "I'll send Felix your mug once it is ready."

"Bella—"

I ignored him. "Did you want breakfast? After all, you missed dinner last night."

"Breakfast would be most appreciated."

I hated his formal tone. "Perhaps you could sleep once you've eaten," I informed him, desperately trying not to fling my arms around him and beg him to talk to me. To let me in.

"I slept on the sofa in my office."

Those words hit me, making my chest ache.

"Your sofa must be more comfortable than our bed since you spend more time sleeping there than you do with me these days."

"I didn't wish to disturb you."

I rolled my eyes at that weak excuse, huffing a sigh as I took a mug from the cupboard.

"I don't like that frown on your face or the rude gesture," he snapped.

I slammed the mug I was holding on the counter. "And I don't like being ignored! Where were you last night, Edward? You missed our anniversary dinner! If fact, where are you any night these days? At least you tried when we first got married!"

He crossed his arms. "I'm a busy man. Something I explained to you when we got married."

"You also said you loved me, and I was your entire world. You told me if I needed you, I only had to ask. But last night you ignored my knock and left me alone on a date that meant a great deal to me."

"It is something you will have to get used to. Deal with it, Bella. And stop hiding in the kitchen. Go work with the girls and do something useful."

"I'm not hiding. I make your sister uncomfortable, and I am trying to give her time to get used to me. I thought I was doing something useful," I added, a catch in my voice.

"And what would that be?"

"Trying to look after my husband. That, to me, was important. I'm sorry you felt I was wasting my time." I turned away to hide my fresh tears. I reached for the toast that had popped up, the edge burning my finger. I dropped it with a low exclamation, shaking the burning digit. Edward appeared beside me, grabbing my hand, and inspecting the small blister.

"It's fine," I insisted, pulling my hand away. "Leave it."

With a low growl, he picked up my hand, checking it out. He lowered his head, kissing the end of my finger, then slid it into his mouth, easing the burn with the cool swipe of his tongue. His eyes met mine, blazing with intensity. I couldn't look away.

Slowly, he pulled my finger from his mouth, kissing the end. "I'm not doing a good job being a husband to you," he confessed in a low tone.

I seized the opportunity to get him to open up to me.

"Esme says you have a case."

"Yes. It is very . . . difficult." He huffed out a deep breath. "Sometimes, the images burn into my brain, and I can't see anything else, Bella. I don't want to poison our martial bed by bringing those images with me."

"Maybe if you'd let me hold you and lose yourself with me, I could help erase those images." I dared to reach up and cup his cheek, running my fingers along his tense jaw. "At least for a short while."

His brow furrowed.

"I want to help you, Edward. I want to be a good and supportive wife to you, but you have to allow me to do so."

Suddenly, I was in his arms, encased fully in his embrace, with his mouth hard on mine. His kiss was desperate and possessive. His body screamed of tension and need. He held me tight, crushing me so close I could barely breathe. His hands never stopped in their exploration, tugging at my clothes and dipping underneath to find my skin that longed for his touch. I whimpered as he lifted me to the counter, and he licked and nipped at my neck, his groans muffled and low.

"I need you now. Right fucking now." He buried his hands in my hair, forcing me to look at him.
"Don't deny me this. Tell me yes. Please love, forgive me, and tell me yes."

"Yes," I breathed out.

Seconds later, he slammed into me. There was nothing gentle or sweet. It was possession and claiming. His need was rampant. He gripped me, his thrusts deep and steady, his breath hot on my neck.

"Bella, oh God, love. You . . . I need . . . fuck!"

I cried out his name, letting him take me, needing him as much as he needed me. I began to tighten around him, moaning and pleading, wanting to feel him as deep as he could be. He lifted my legs, pushing them against my chest, and pushed harder. Deeper. Hitting a spot I didn't know existed.

Seconds later, I came. Hard, shaking, and crying out his name. He followed soon after, collapsing on my chest, panting and sweating. His face was buried in my neck, and I was startled to feel the dampness of his tears on my skin. Wrapping my arms around him, I kept him close, running my fingers through his hair in soothing caresses.

"I'm here, Edward. For you. You need to let me in."

He tightened his arms, then drew back, and allowed me to see his torment.

"This case is horrendous. It's killing me," he confessed. "The images and atrocities are beyond even my comprehension. It leaves me so ill, I'm having trouble coping."

I ran my fingers through his hair. "Don't shut me out, Edward. Come to me. Let me be the light for you."

"I come to you each night, Bella."

"But, I wake up alone," I said, confused.

"I cannot bear to wake you. I worry I will disturb you since I cannot sleep. I watch over you as you slumber. It gives me the only peace I find these days." He frowned. "Except the past few nights, you haven't been resting. You're fitful, and you cry out in your sleep. You calm when I hold your hand, but still you seem to need something."

I cupped his face. "I need you, Edward. I sleep well in your arms. Without them, without you, I am lost now."

His eyes widened. "But I . . ."

I shook my head. "Even if you can't sleep, even if you need to make love to me, or talk to me all night, I would prefer that to an empty bed and not feeling as if I am enough for you."

He crushed me to him. "You are, love. You are all that keeps me going right now."

"Then show me."

"I don't know how." He shrugged his shoulders. "This is so new to me; I don't know how to let you help me."

"Where is everyone?"

"They are all exhausted. We are waiting for some more information before we proceed. I sent them home until lunchtime to rest."

"Then come upstairs with me and sleep. I'll hold you and you can rest."

He hesitated.

"Please, Edward. For me."

Without another word, he lifted me into his arms and carried me upstairs.

For the first time in days, I felt complete.

Thank you for reading.