Yes, I'm sorry for the time it takes for me to write and post these things, but I'm just too busy. And maybe a bit lazy too. But I've been spending a lot of time at friend's places and all that.

Anyway, I was about to give you an extra long part as a Christmas-gift, but yet again, I'm too lazy. Happy holidays people!

Something To Believe In

Three

X

I was lost, man. Totally lost. I've never been so lost in my entire life. Trying to find anything in that mall so close to Christmas, and then keeping it is impossible! I must have gotten bruises all over my body from all the elbowing and kicking and biting. Yeah, you heard me; biting. Are people really that insane? For god's sake, I thought I would get killed for a frying pan! I never could've guessed Christmas shopping was that hard. I didn't find any present at all, not even to myself! But I guess I'll have to be lucky coming out of there alive. Geez Louise.

Kai seemed to find something, anyway. He had been carrying around three bags looking very pleased with himself. Well, you couldn't tell with an untrained eye, but I've been watching Kai for years so I know that small look of satisfaction in his eyes. And that small smirk of his really made my day. I totally forgot my aching feet by the time we arrived on the parking lot where Hillary had told us to meet her after three o' clock. The sun was shining bright, warm rays falling on my skin. The air was fresh and cold and my breath came out as small clouds of steam, which I found really amusing. I didn't even think of how stupid I looked, breathing like an asthmatic and smiling wide at the sight of the steam. I must've really annoyed Kai, because suddenly he spoke;

''Do you know what my favorite word is?''

I stared at him, surprised. His favorite word? Did he even have such things in his life? Well, if he did, it could only be like, Blood, solitude, death, solitude. Or torture! Yeah, torture sounded good.

''Gee, Kai, I didn't know you could speak more than four words a sentence.''

He threw me a small glare before twisting his mouth in a somewhat offended way. Yes, the only way I saw that was because… well, I notice such things.

'Well, I won't now.''

''Aww, come on, don't be like that!'' I said and pouted a bit too much for it to look believable, but still he didn't give in. ''Kaaaaaai. What's your favorite word? Come on, I want to know!''

When he still wouldn't answer me, I started pulling his sleeve to get his attention. After doing so for about an eternity, I gave up. That was when he surprised me yet again;

''Freedom.''

Okay, so my blood-solitude-death-and-torture-theory was horribly mistaken.

''Well... that's a nice word. Does it have some deep psychological meaning?''

''Hn.''

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. So I sighed, put my hands in my pockets and started inspecting my shoes. The silence was pretty uncomfortable, so I just had to do something about it.

''My favorite word is Eep!''

He raised a brow at me.

''Oh, you're such a poet.''

''Call me insane but, was that a joke?''

''Probably the last one you'll ever hear if you don't hurry up.''

''Why? 'Fraid of Hill?''

A smile.

''Whatever. Your corpse.''

Then he started walking away, his bags clutched protectively in his gloved hand.

''Kai, wait!''

X

Max had come up with the idea that we should all get together and have a party later that day, and Hillary agreed. That didn't leave the three of us much of a choice, we just had to agree (or die a violent death). Strangely, Daichi would be arriving very late. He had some trouble taking a couple of weeks off, he had said on the phone with Hill. It was something about screwing up at work and all that, so we probably wouldn't see him until the end of the week.

But they wanted a party, and what a party it was! Do you know how much Vodka and Rum I can drink before completely losing the last grip of reality I've ever had? Almost none! But I sure would have a headache the following morning. I was laughing uncontrollably at everything and everyone, dancing with the Christmas-tree and wobbling around like I'd just been smooched by Clayface. Yes, I sure made a total ass out of myself. But luckily, Hillary had fallen in a heap of giggles with Max, Tyson had gone to a raid in the kitchen grabbing Kenny by the neck and Kai… well, he looked pretty much asleep in the armchair. So no one would really notice my stupid behavior.

If I hadn't been so busy trying to keep my eyes from, what felt like, falling out of my head, I probably would have drooled all over Max's expensive couch. Kai just sat there, sleeping. So damn hot I thought he would catch fire.
But the night moved on and so did I, crawling out on the balcony desperately trying to light a cigarette. But my fingers didn't listen to my addiction, and soon both lighter and the pack of cigarettes slid out of my grip and fell over the railing.

''Oh, man, schtupid, shit… shiiiit… Rice-balls!''

I suppose I didn't hear the door open behind me, or I had left it open, because suddenly Kai stood beside me. He looked down at the street below, and soon his eyes fell on my lost belongings which had landed in a bush. It was a very big, thorny, snow-covered bush which I didn't want to dive into. Not for the greatest cigarettes in the world.

''Nice.''

I turned to my right to meet his gaze, amused by the sight of his sloppy expression. I guess he had gotten a bit groggy too. I gave him a halfhearted smile.

''What? The swearin' or the fact that I'm giving awey my most pressschious belongings to wilderness?''

''Do you call that swearing? A kindergarten teacher wouldn't be offended.''

I frowned and remained silent. He didn't speak either, so we just stood there staring at each other for a while, my sight blurring off and on. ''Well?'' I finally said.

''Well what?''

''Aren't you goin' to be a gentleman and help me schave my precious cancher-sticks?''

I admit it was pretty funny watching the look on his face when he saw how deep into the bush I had dropped my stuff. It was even funnier to watch him dive into it! He was making a trail, no, a path… no, better; a big highway after himself as he wrestled the twigs and thorns to get through. Apparently, I started laughing. But my amusement died the instant he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down with him. I probably would have screamed if I wasn't so drunk and happy feeling his warm back against my face as I landed upon him through the fall. Thorns bit my clothes everywhere and dug through my skin. It stung like hell… or probably would have if I, as I said; had been sober. I had almost fallen asleep upon him, nuzzling into the warmth and feint smell of his mild aftershave and gingerbread from the cookies Hillary made (and with 'made' I mean 'bought') earlier. But soon I got pushed off and fell flat on my butt on the cold street. My sit-bone ached with fury, which was a sign saying I needed more Vodka.

''Screw the bush, we'll go to the store.''

Kai brushed his jacket off, pulling me up in my wrist yet again and started leading me down the street. As much as I loved the feeling of his hand against my bruised skin, I couldn't keep myself from saying;

''Dude, I caaaan walk!''

This was of course, not true, and the moment after I said so I stumbled over my own feet and I would have hit the payment if it wasn't for the fact that Kai wrapped his arm around my waist just in time. I felt like a dead deer, hanging in his grip like a bit of overcooked pasta.

''I can see that.''

''Oh, schay can't you scheee…'' I ignored him and started singing instead.

''Oh, no...''

I heard him growl and then suddenly I was standing on my feet again, just to find myself lying on a bench the very next second. I stared up at the sky, barely could I see the stars on the blackened veil.

''Stay here'' I heard Kai say; ''I'm going to the store, you wait. Got it?''

''Thesche days, the schtars hang out of reeeeach…''

Then his silhouette left me there, singing high pitch and drunkenly awful to myself and anyone who had luck bad enough to walk by me.

X

''Good thing ye' back… my ass is freeeeesching.''

He raised a brow at me, probably thinking I'm a loser. And he should, because I thought so. I even felt like a loser. I mean, it's not the way you pictured yourself alone with the man of the year, eh? Drunken, frozen and singing on a bench in the cold of New York. I was probably drooling, too. Then I suddenly felt a small thump, and when I looked down I saw a pack of smokes on my chest.

''Wha' mark did ye' get?''

''I dunno. I just picked one.''

I eyed the pack suspiciously, but my eyes couldn't tell what the letters on the label said, so I just shrugged and pulled one out. That was when I remembered I didn't have a lighter.

''Hey, Kai, since you're scho hot, can I light muh' sch... schigret on your nosche?''

''What?''

''Schigret. Light. Nosche.''

''I can hardly make out what you're saying, Rei.''

And that was good for me, I guess. Oh, the things my tongue does when I've lost control of myself.

''Come... closer''

Oh, those dreaded words just rolling out of my mouth, with no hope of me stopping them. Man, was I going to hate myself in the morning.

Kai gave me a curious look before leaning closer, his breath tickling my skin.

''Cloooooser.''

Now he was so close I could see myself reflected in his eyes, and I almost drowned in those darken depths of mystery.

And then… I kissed him.

X

As I woke up, I immediately wished I hadn't. It felt like my head was eaten up from the inside by vicious termites, and I was afraid I would throw up if I even moved. After the dizziness died a bit, I allowed my eyes to swing open. And then, I wished yet again I hadn't. Because when I saw Kais naked body lying across the big bed, I fell off the madrasse with a terrified ''Eep!'' and landed on the floor with a loud thud.
My head hurt even more, my stomach started having it's own rock-concert in me and every limb that didn't feel like Jell-O before, sure felt like snot when I lied there. I tried to sit up, afraid that I might have woken Kai up. Then I got more afraid of the fact that maybe I'd wake myself up. Because who would like to wake from a dream like that? Kai, in the same bed as me, naked. And the great part; I was naked too.

The idiot who would try to pinch me now would get a chair smacked across the face.

I tried to use my almost catlike athletic-skills to as silently as possible climb up on the bed again, and without being noticed, I crawled myself into the position of me facing Kai. He looked angry even in his sleep, but not as tense as he used to look when he was awake. His breathing was calm and soothing, his hair lying all over both his face and the most of his pillow. I wondered how he managed to have it like that. So long and uncontrollable. I must admit I sometimes miss my own hair, but mostly I'm just glad I got rid of it.

As I stroke a lock behind his ear, as if he had read my mind; Kai spoke;

''You shouldn't have cut it off.''

His eyes were still shut, and his voice was calm although his words were more of a statement than an order. Yet it startled me. I stroke his firm but yet gracious chin with a finger, before cupping his cheek with my hand.

''Why not?''

His hand ran through my hair, and I almost thought my heart would jump out of my throat when he started stroking my neck.

''Because you look like an ass without it.''

''I feel like an ass.''

He grinned slightly.

''Coffee?''

''And aspirin. For god's sake; Don't forget the aspirin!''

He barely nodded before walking out to the kitchen. His footsteps were silent as the others probably still were asleep. I shivered as the tingling feeling in my chest totally whiped out the hangover for a moment, and a small smile started infecting my lips.

And that was when I realized; it wasn't a dream.

''Oh, shit!''