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Freddie's pov

You're so good at talkin` smack, you heart attack.

But you're the apple of my eye, anyway.

The sun is making itself known in the sky, slowly drifting up from the horizon. I'm sitting on my window sill, leg hanging over the edge on the outside just staring out and listening to the sounds of the early morning. Bout an hour until school starts and things really get under way. This is probably a bad idea but my brain hasn't been functioning on the highest of levels these days so you know what, it's all I can come up with. I've tried to rack my head for something less, what's the term.. of a desperate measure. Something that might actually fix my problem but yeah, nothing. So avoiding it is. Hey, it can't make the situation any worse. Yeah, I know.

Famous last words.

I don't remember how long I sat there, watching Sam as she slept. It was like I had been put in some kind of trance, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Tracing every outline, every feature committed to memory, as if to subconsciously let myself know that I was really going to go through with the plan. That this might be the last time I come in close contact with her so I better savor the hell out of it. And I did `till I thought I heard a noise upstairs, afraid that Carly was getting up for a glass of water or something, I managed to slip out from under Sam without waking her. Which really, wasn't hard. Girl sleeps like the dead.

So I managed to sneak back into my apartment, got dressed for school and that pretty much leads to the present. I lean over, one arm gripping the frame at the top and the other at the bottom, looking over the edge. Taking notice of the quiet city below. I'm seventeen yet, I feel so much older than that. Is this what being in love, or whatever I am, does to you? Makes you old, tired and overly paranoid? That's a depressing thought.

"Honey, are you up?"

I can hear my mom's voice behind the door, float through my room and to where I sit at the window. Sluggishly with a faint groan, I swing my leg over back into the room, crossing the space, intent on opening the door. Quick turn of the handle and a pull. "Yeah, I am."

"Oh, good."

She is giving me the look over and I know the subtle worry in her expression is due to the small bags under my eyes. Don't worry, I tell her in my head, I'm working on it as we speak.

"How did you sleep?"

I shrug. "Alright, I guess."

"Is it the mattress? We can go get- " The look I give stops her and she just nods, her hand comes and snakes around my neck, grazing the skin there as a gesture of comfort. "I'm gonna make some eggs and bacon. Why don't you meet me at the table in a few minutes."

"That sounds good, mom."

With that, she retracts her hand and moves down the hallway towards the kitchen. Another sign that things have certainly changed. Before, she probably would have pulled me from school today and made me go see a series of doctors but now there is an understanding. She knows I have to deal with things on my own, however badly I may be doing so.

I sigh, been doing that a lot lately. Reaching for my book bag, I follow her steps to the kitchen table.

"Are you even listening, Freddie?"

"Huh- what?" I blink a few times before looking over to Carly, who is staring at me, not sure if she should be worried or annoyed. Guess I spaced out there for a second while she was talking about this idea she had for an iCarly skit that came to her last night in a dream. I grin, a bit sheepishly. "Sorry Carls, thoughts got away from me for a second there. What was the idea?"

"Are you still not sleeping at night?" Apparently worry won out, but oddly enough it was I who was getting a little annoyed. I mean, I know everyone cares about me but getting asked the same question over and over again can edge on someone's nerves.

"Nah, I'm sleeping fine. Just not fully awake, you know. From all that sleep I got last night." I tell her with ease, leaning against the lockers. It's pretty obvious she doesn't believe me, so I'm quick to change the subject. "How was the date with Kevin?"

I'm not fooling her at all but as a girl, she can't resist the chance to spill her heart out. "It was really great. He took me to this new sushi place on 5th."

"I thought you didn't like sushi?"

She shakes her head. "I decided to give it another chance for him, I'm still not a fan but it wasn't as bad as the first time I tried it. And the restaurant was really cool, I'll have to take Spencer and you guys sometime."

"Yeah, sounds awesome."

Carly looks happier than I can ever remember whenever she talks about Kevin. They've only been seeing one and other for, what's the count again… I think three weeks, maybe. He's an alright guy. We never have much to talk about but we make with the polite small talk and he seems to treat her right, can't really ask anything more of the guy.

"So, how was hanging out with Sam yesterday? You don't seem to have any bruises, that I can see anyway. I'll admit she's gotten crafty with where she leaves her marks."

I'm looking around for a certain feisty girl. "It was fine, only a few hits. None of them hard enough to blemish skin."

"Maybe you'll be as lucky tonight at rehearsal."

Shit, rehearsal. Totally had forgotten it was tonight. "Yeah, bout that. I don't think I can make rehearsal tonight."

She looks over at me from her locker. "What? Why not?"

"Uh, well.. Well my mom decided she wanted me to come out to dinner with her and Dave. A sort of forging a connection kind of deal. I tried to get out of it but she wasn't having any of it." A hand reaches to the back of my neck, to rub at a knot. "You guys can just hold it without me and then fill me in later."

Sam. I see her coming around the corner, digging in her backpack for something, probably food related. I look around, suddenly in a panic because although I came up with this genius plan, I didn't really come up with a way to avoid her. "Uh…" I trail off for a second, trying to think of a plausible excuse to run off before Sam gets to us. I catch a glimpse of Gibby walking past, moving towards the other hallway. "I gotta go talk to Gibby about something before first bell rings, I'll catch you later."

And with that, I speed walk off to catch up with Gibby, calling out. "Gibs, wait up a sec!"

He turns to look over his shoulder. "Oh, Freddie. Hey, what's up?

"Nothing much, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab some lunch off campus today. You know, get in some male bonding. I feel like we haven't done that in… ever." I place a hand on his shoulder.

He seems to mull it over for a moment. "Yeah, that's pretty cool. I'll let Jennifer know during second period so she isn't looking for me in the café."

I nod a bit, looking behind us to see Sam finally get over to Carly and the two of them talking. When she looks over to us, I quickly shift back around and turn the corner with Gibby.

"Great."

I only have one morning class with Sam and we sit on the opposite sides of the room which I am thankful for. She use to sit right behind me but after the ninth time she got me in a choke hold, the teacher made the wise choice of splitting us up. The whole time I refuse to look over but I could feel her eyes burning into me every once and awhile. It's like she already knew what I was planning. Well right when the bell rang, you better believe I hauled ass out of there.

Gibby was, thankfully, already waiting at my car when lunch period hit which made a quick escape possible. We decided on something cheap and easy, Inside Out Burger.

"How are things with you and Jennifer?" Jennifer was the girl he had been dating for the seven months. They made a really cute couple, it was sort of a match made in heaven kind of deal you know?

He looked over at me. "Great! She's just awesome, man. I don't know how I lucked into being with her but I thank whatever force made it happen daily.

"That's great man."

"Yeah." He paused. "Thanks for inviting me out, and paying. This stuff is way better than the school's food." He spoke, happily taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

I chuckle. "No problem, man. Of course it was going to be my treat, I was the one who invited you out and made you miss out on time with your girlfriend. Just felt like I needed some guy time you know? I don't really hang out much with other dudes."

Gibby had come from a good natured kid with an affinity for being shirtless to a well toned, good natured young man with an affinity for wearing anything that was at least sleeveless. He had finally come to terms that he would have to wear a shirt to function in the high school landscape but that didn't mean that right when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, he wasn't shirtless and on his way to the local pool where he was a lifeguard. That didn't mean he wasn't shirtless right now as we sat at a table outside of the joint.

"Why would you? You get to spend all your time with two beautiful chicks. Do you how many guys would kill to be with Carly or Sam?"

I look at him, question in my eyes. "Yeah, but we're only friends. I'm not with Carly or Sam."

"But you'd like to be."

"I got over Carly a long time ago, Gib."

He fixes me with a look. "You can keep pretending I was talking about Carly all you want, buddy."

I almost choke on the fruit punch I'm drinking. I look over and he has this knowing grin, it's pretty exasperating more so frustrating because it seems like he's figured out my dark secret. "What are you getting at with that."

"All I'm saying is just because a guy is shirtless, doesn't mean he isn't perceptive. You're not exactly a closed book when you're staring at Sam."

I decide to lay down my hand, show my cards. "Take this to the grave with you but I might be kind of, sort of in like with Sam."

"Just in like?" He says while taking another bite.

"Watch it."

He shoots me another grin while chewing, talking after he swallows. "How long? I have my guesses but let's see if I was close."

"Probably two years now."

His eyes widen, almost comically. "No shit, two years? Really? I wasn't even close." He leans back in his chair. "I wasn't even close. Wow, okay. So it's been two years, what are you going to do about it?"

"Well, I've finally come up with some sort of resolution. Think I'm going to avoid the hell out of her until the feelings go away.

He laughs warmly, balling up his burger wrapper. "That's going to blow up in your face."

"Yeah." I pause, looking across the street for a minute, watching nothing really. "I figure as much."

A/N: I'll probably be putting up chapter five later tonight after some editing, not sure if I'll be able to do it tomorrow so better safe than sorry. Thanks to anyone who is still reading.