I wake to the sound of fighting and stand to find that Boone was stealing the pieces of the gun. Everyone's yelling until Kate interjects "Jackie should hold the gun!" suddenly all eyes are on me and Boone passes me the stolen pieces "me? Ya wanna give the eighteen year old girl the gun?" they nod as Charlie says "well we all trust you, ya already have a weapon an ya know how to use one an da'." I look down at the pieces and assemble it quickly as they watch, then flip on the safety and put in the front of my jeans, on the opposite side of my knife. The walk back to the beach is silent, I don't like it, I preferred the arguing.
Once at the beach Sayid gives everyone a fake story. I turn to Boone and smile "hey you wanna help me make some sorta shelter?" he nods lightly as we walk to the wreckage and salvage what we can for accommodation. We've got some large pieces of the plane that we push and bury into the ground, making them stand straight. I take one of the plastic covers that was once a parachute, drape and fasten it over the top of the three metal walls, making a roof. We do the same for Boone, but as we piece it together he asks "Jackie, what you said last nigh…" but I cut him off "lets jus forget I said anything, ok?" he stops assembling the shelter and looks at me "I just want you to know, I care, I'd miss you and I'm glad you're here." I look into his eyes, expecting to find pity but instead finding compassion and concern, it shocks me and I can feel myself choke up "you don't even know me." he shrugs "I know you're a good person, you defended Sayid and Hurly, your kind, sharing and helping everyone you can. I don't know what happened to make you alone, but I promise, your not anymore." I can feel as my eyes water "don't make promises ya cant keep Boone." as I turn away he gently grabs my shoulder and turns me back "I don't." his eyes are so blue and bright that I cant help but wish that its true, that maybe, I'm not alone.
When the rain starts I see Jack heading over the tent with the shrapnel guy in it, I notice Hurly's helping collect water and figure I should see if the doctor and the hurt man need anything. As I walk over Sawyer walks past "be kinder to jus kill the poor fucker." I look at him and smirk "maybe" I carry on as he says "well you got the weapons!" I turn back to him "but no ones asked me to yet!" he looks a bit stunned that I've considered ending the man as I turn and walk happily to the tent, not caring that I'm drenched. As I reach the tent I see Jack and Kate come out the other side, talking about the man inside, about how he's dieing and will defiantly feel it, then the shocker, she's the criminal, but I don't care, I'm not a hypocrite, I'm sure she had her reasons for whatever she did, just like me.
When it stops I walk over to find Taser and Walt "hey boys" Taser runs to me with glee and Walt smiles "hey Jackie." I smile to the boy "Jackie, what do you think of Mr Locke?" I look up at him "he's nice, helped me on the plane when we were taking off. Why ya ask?" he pets stand and says "he's been nice to me to, but dad said not to hang out with him. I don't know why." I gently grasp the boys sholder "he's jus tryin to look out for ya Walt. He don't know Locke, don't know if he's a good man, jus give him a little time to met him and he'll see that Locke's good people." he nods in understanding "yeah, I guess your right. Thanks Jackie." I rub his head "don't worry bout it kid. Hey, how bout till we find Vincent you look after Taser for me?" his eyes light up "really? Thanks!" that's when the screaming started.
I sit with my little group, Taser, Boone, Shannon, Hurly, Walt, Michel and Sayid. The darkness rolled around a few hours ago, suddenly Kate's next to me with Sawyer "Jackie, can we talk to you a minute?" I look at them confused and stand "sure" the group looks at me in question and I shug following the pair to a quite spot. We stop and Kate says "we need the gun." I look between the two and ask "why?" Sawyer bites back "to end the sufferein of a man, like he asked. Now hand it over." he reaches for the gun in my waist but I slap it away. I turn to Kate and ask "he asked for this?" she nods and I look to Sawyer "I guess you'll do it. Tell me how." he nods with a confused expression but answers "the heart." I shake my head "no, no its to small, to easily missed." he looks angery now "and what would you know?" I take a confident sep forward "my uncal worked at a shoting club remember, he took me huntin every summer." Kates face looks curious and relived "so you know how to kill him painlessly?" I nod and explain "The base of da skull where it meets the neck is where the Medula Oblongata is located. That's the part of your brain that's responsible for all involuntary actions of da body, like breathin. If its destroyed, it should cause instant death. Other than decapitation, it would be the fastest and most humane way to end a life." they look at me in wonder, Kate questions "ok, could you do it?" I nod and we walk to the tent.
When we get inside, carefully dodging Jack "so who's it goin to be?" he asks us, I knell beside the dieing man and smile weakly "that would be me, am Jackie." he nods "will it hurt?" I look at him with sad eyes "only for a second, it'll be like prickin ya finger, then jus goin to sleep real quick." he nods again, not questioning my knowledge. I turn to the couple "help me sit im up." they move and help him as gently as possible. As I go to stand behind him I take the gun out and he grips my hand, his eyes are watered as he looks up at mine "thank you" Kate walks from the tent, not having the stomach for it. I look at Sawyer, who nods, then point the barrel at the base of his skull and shoot. His body falls back, lifeless.
As we walk out we see Jack and Hurly. Jack goes for Sawyer asking him what he did, as a crowd forms around the tent "it was me! I killed him." Jack looks at me in disbelief "you? How? Why?" I look him in the eye "yeah, me, I shot im in the back of the head, the Medula Oblongata, it was quick an painless. The reason, he asked, he thanked me, that's why." then throw the empty gun to the ground and walk off down the beach.
I sit silently, alone by the fire, when Locke comes over and sits next me, I quickly wipe my eyes from my silent tears, concentrating on the flames, keeping the light off my tear stained cheeks. He just sits there with me, then Boones sitting on my other side, much like on the plane. I look into the ocean as Boone asks "you alright?" I shrug, not looking at him as Locke says "don't worry, you did the right thing. He was going to die a nasty death, but you speared him that." I can feel the tears again "I know, doesn't make it any easier though." Boone puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his chest as I cry, Locke's hand rubbing the small of my back, both their other hands in mine, and for the first time in so long, I feel ok, I feel at home and mostly I feel wanted.