Reid drove manically through Chicago's streets, lights on to get people out of his way but no sirens; he didn't want any help from the PD should he run into a patrol car. Like this, they'd assume the situation was already in hand.

He ran the map through his head again, tracing the route to the youth center, and turned a hard corner, the tires screeching. He was frantic with worry, his heart racing so fast he was lightheaded; he knew he had to breathe and calm down, but it was nearly a physical impossibility.

Derek was in danger, from himself and from the director; if didn't get there in time, if he was already too late… the Derek he knew might be past saving.

A block away, Reid turned the headlights off and made his way slowly toward the dimly lit center, trying not to hit anything on the nearly dark road. It would be just like him to get this far and then blow it; Derek would tease him mercilessly once he found out. He already made fun of Reid's driving skills.

The thought brought a small smile to Reid's face, which then drained away when he remembered the circumstances; he'd consider himself lucky if Derek survived all this to tease him.

Half a block away, he parked quietly against the curb and shut off the engine. Now what? Derek was on foot, there was a chance Reid had beaten him to the center; did he wait outside and hope to see him going in?

But at the same time, this was Derek; he was fast, he was smart, and he was determined, and he knew the territory; he could very well have made it here already, in which case Reid needed to be inside.

He hesitated, twisting anxiously in his seat; go or stay, go or stay? There had to be a back door to the place, didn't there? In which case, if Derek wasn't already inside, he might not even be able to see him go in; he wasn't likely to just walk in the front door. Therefore, he had to go inside.

Feeling infinitesimally better now that he had a decision, Reid scrambled to unbuckle his seatbelt; he hesitated over his gun, sitting secured in the glove-box. Bringing it could escalate whatever situation may ensue; leaving it would leave him unprotected with…

A pedophile.

Reid was trying very hard not to think about that, about the man he'd seen in the photo posing with Derek when he was a teen, his hands on the boy's shoulders. He knew he'd have to face it soon, because he couldn't ignore it when Derek was hurting himself because of it, but he didn't want to think about it.

He didn't want to add Derek, strong, protective Derek, to the victims list that kept building in his head, a list that, despite his best efforts, wouldn't stop growing.

A movement on the street that caught Reid's peripheral vision jerked his head around at the same time as he huddled down below the dashboard. He didn't want to be seen, especially in this neighborhood; a badge didn't count for a whole lot here and he was damn near worthless at fighting.

Squinting, he saw motion further down the street, barely discernable in the darkness; he squinted harder, his head moving forward until he nearly bashed his nose on the steering wheel. Light was reflecting dimly off a dull surface, near where the shoulders would be on a tall man; another light glinted off something near what would be the hip on the same tall person.

A gun? Could that be Derek? Wait, Derek's gun had been confiscated after the police had taken him in; Reid had seen it with his own eyes, sitting in the lockbox at the station.

"Come on, walk into the light," Reid whispered pointlessly, his hand reaching slowly for the glove-box of the car where his own gun was stashed.

By incredible coincidence, the figure turned right then, presumably to check the street, and the dim light from the streetlight flashed across his face; Reid's breath caught and he fumbled at the switches at the board before hitting the headlights and simultaneously tumbling out of the car.

Morgan spun fully around, startled by the sudden light, and froze in horror when he saw Reid; Reid, hurrying toward him in his peculiar awkward run, skidded to shocked halt at his expression. They stared at each other for a tense, painful moment, neither of them knowing what to say; then Morgan turned and took off into the dark.

"Derek!" Reid not-quite-shouted and ran after him, forgetting entirely about the car behind him with the door still wide open, keys in the ignition. Derek mattered, he was the only thing that mattered.

"Derek, stop!" he called, barely able to see the shadow that was Derek running in front of him turn down an alley.

"Spencer, go away. Don't get involved with this!" Derek called back. Great, just great, Reid thought, he was almost out of breath already and Derek sounded like he was just walking. This chase had been pretty much doomed from the start; Morgan had several yards of head start already and was only getting further away.

"Derek, don't!" he pleaded. "Please!" Eyes on Derek, trying to keep track of him in the gloom, Reid caught sight of the trashcan in the alley too late; he ran full into it, unable to even try to avoid and went down hard. The can clattered to the ground as he tried to catch himself on it; the ground rose up to meet him and he gave a half-strangled noise of pain as his shoulder connected first, then his head.

He blinked, seeing stars for a moment and could only lie there, disoriented; when he remembered what he was supposed to be doing, he struggled to sit up, holding his injured shoulder and knowing that he'd lost. Derek would be far away by now and there was zero percent chance he could catch up with him.

Muttered swearing manifested by his ear and dark hands covered his shoulders; Reid turned his head in shock and saw Derek crouched beside him, gently helping him sit up fully, concern in his dark eyes.

"Damn it, Spencer!" he swore, his angry tone belying his careful hands. "You know just how to give me a heart attack, don't you? Is there a day that goes by that you don't get hurt?" he asked in exasperation, examining the younger man's shoulder.

"At least it got you to stop," Reid said weakly when he remembered how to speak, grimacing as Derek rolled his shoulder gently to assess the damage. Reid turned his hand over, feeling the sting that meant cut skin; he'd been hurt so many times that it was easy to tell what kind of injury it was just by the pain.

Morgan cupped Reid's hand in his own, cradling it as he examined it in the dim light.

"You idiot, I was already stopping," he chided. "I don't think you know how ridiculously hard it is to resist when you plead like that; it's like kicking a puppy. These look pretty bad, you need to get this cleaned, especially with all this on the ground back here."

"Thanks for reminding me," Reid said with distaste, feeling something inside him loosen at Derek's closeness. It always happened like that; whenever Derek was around, things always seemed better, safer. It was mildly irrational and very dangerous when it happened in the field, but all the same Reid felt better with his hand in Derek's. "Help me up, please?"

Derek stood and pulled him up effortlessly. Reid brushed himself off with his good hand and Derek helped; when he was done, they stood there for a moment, feeling the awkwardness building between them.

Now that were within talking distance, Reid found he had no clue what to say. No, actually, that wasn't true, he thought; there was too much to say and all of it was equally important and he couldn't decide what should come out first.

He bit his lip and fidgeted, looking at Derek's face and away again as if uncertain whether eye contact would upset the other man. Each time it happened, Derek's eyes grew a little more hurt, a little more withdrawn.

"Derek," Reid finally said, looking helplessly at the older profiler's closed face. Derek's forehead wrinkled, his eyes showing his pain, and he looked away at the ground.

"Derek, I'm so sorry," Reid whispered, not sure what he was apologizing for. For scaring him, maybe, or for the mistreatment he'd had at the hands of the police. Or for not seeing the signs that were right in front of him and letting him suffer alone. For figuring out the truth when he so obviously wanted it hidden. For the pain that would come when the rest of the team found out. For not saving him.

It was all of those things and none of them and for other things that had yet to happen.

"You know, then? About Buford?" Derek asked woodenly, his shoulders stiff.

Reid nodded shakily, his head barely moving. They were silent for a moment, the tension between them sharp enough to cut them both. Then Morgan whirled away with enough force to make Reid stumble back in a fear he'd never admit to; a dark fist slammed into the brick wall on the other side of the alley, accompanied by an inarticulate roar, making Reid jump again.

"Damn it!" he yelled. "Damn it! Damn you and Hotch and Gideon and Gordinski! Why couldn't you all just leave this the fuck alone?!"

"Morgan… Derek," Reid said helplessly, not entirely surprised by his partner's, in his opinion, long-overdue breakdown. He knew better than to take Derek's abuse personally.

"Spencer, don't, all right?" Derek said evenly, his voice suddenly calm, suddenly enough that Reid began to fear Derek for an entirely different reason.

"I don't-" he hesitated, then sighed heavily, looking away, "I don't want you involved in this, any of you. Just leave it alone, okay, forget that you figured out my secret. Go back to the hotel, get cleaned up, and forget you saw me tonight."

Reid shook his head slowly, a confused frown building on his face; Derek hated that look. He hated seeing Spencer frowning like that, as if he was waiting for some sort of bad news that he knew was coming but couldn't anticipate. He looked so vulnerable… "I don't understand."

"I'm not safe to be with tonight," Derek gestured with his now-bleeding hand for emphasis. Reid hadn't forgotten. "I let… I let that man take another boy for a victim because I was too much of a coward to tell anybody what had happened to me. I can't let it continue; I can't let that kid feel like he hasn't got a person in the world to help him," Derek said, his voice firm despite the obvious pain in his face. He kept his eyes safely on the ground, away from the hurt growing on the prodigy's face. He didn't want to shut him out, but this wasn't his problem… He didn't understand what Derek was going to have to do… Wanted to do…

"But, Derek, it doesn't have to be you personally who fixes this," Reid said earnestly. "With your testimony and that child's, you know how this will work; people will be coming out of the proverbial woodwork. Let the BAU do its job, let us handle it. You don't have to get near him and put yourself through that," Reid said, still confused by his lover's seeming determination to hurt himself.

At his words, at the offer of a way out, Derek finally looked up and met his eyes but it wasn't with the expression he was expecting. All of Reid's instincts screamed in warning at the look in his eyes and Reid had to stop himself from backing up a step, feeling a cold chill settle over his heart.

It's Derek, he told himself fiercely, of all people, he's the one least likely to hurt you!

"You don't get it, Spence, I want to end it," Derek said softly, his voice intent and hot in the darkness. The very words Reid did not want to hear. "I want to make him pay for what he's done, me personally, not watch him get to sit behind bars where his biggest punishment is that he might get bored on occasion. You can't tell me that's fair for what he's done."

"So, what, you want to just walk in there and shoot him?! Where the hell did you get a gun, anyway? Because I know yours is still at the station," Reid replied, the pitch of his voice rising with the stress until he was hitting octaves usually reserved for females.

Derek smiled and it sent a shiver down Reid's spine. He knew the darkness that lived within the other man; what they did, what they saw… It was too much to hope that they wouldn't be contaminated in some way; it was inevitable. But Derek was so close, so close to letting the darkness have him, and he didn't even want to fight it.

"You didn't check the lockbox in the car for your weapon, did you? Sometimes you're just too predictable, genius," Derek said. Reid reflexively grabbed at his belt before remembering he'd checked the gun in the glove compartment of the car before they'd even gotten to the station again; he'd bet one of his degrees that it wasn't still there now.

"You can't do this! It's my gun, what do you think they're going to find when they do ballistics on it as a murder weapon? Are you trying to get me framed for this?!" Reid's words tumbled out so fast that only long practice made them make sense to Morgan, who looked stricken at the thought.

Reid didn't actually believe that but he was grasping at anything that might buy him more time to figure out what to do, what to say, anything to delay Derek a little longer. He couldn't stop Morgan physically and he was very much regretting not telling Hotch now what he knew; embarrassment and hatred were a lot easier for him to bear than Morgan going to prison for the rest of his life for murder.

"No, Spence, no! Of course I'm not going to get you in trouble for this, I'm going to confess to the whole thing afterwards. I'll let them catch me with the gun in my hand if I have to."

Reid's mouth dropped open in disbelief; how could he possibly be so calm he was while saying that?

Derek gave that disquieting smile again. "Trust me, I've thought about this a lot."

Ignoring how much that statement disturbed him, Reid gathered his thoughts again. "And how do you keep me from getting in trouble for losing the gun to you in the first place? Are you going to try to make it look like I lost it to you in a fight, maybe give me a black eye to make it look more realistic?"

Derek paused, confused now as well as hurt. The transition from thoughts of revenge to concern about Reid was almost visible. "Spence, what is this? Why do you keep thinking I'm going to hurt you somehow? I thought you knew I wouldn't ever do something like that to you."

Reid laughed then, harsh, bitter, and slightly hysterical; Derek stood stunned by the sudden change in the young doctor. "What do you think you're doing now, Derek? You're contemplating killing someone! Do you think that doesn't scare me? Do you think I'm not terrified of what happens after they catch you when you turn yourself in afterwards and go to jail for murder?"

He didn't want to say what came next, didn't want to admit his feelings out loud and look weaker than he already did, but he would do whatever it took, say whatever he had to say to keep Derek near him, even if the cost was his own pride in himself.

"I hate being alone, you know that! All these last years, I've been alone no matter how spatially close I was to the people around me; it was like a glass wall separated me from all of them, one that I couldn't break but I got to stand there, looking in and wondering what made me so completely different from everybody else, so… so… wrong! Then you stepped in and demolished that wall and I have never felt so… happy, safe, protected, whatever as I do when you're around. I can't lose that, Derek, I can't!"

Somewhere along the way, Reid had started crying and he was startled now to realize it. He stood there in the alley, feeling like the world was coming down around him, again, and all he could do was cry about it because it was so unfair, so terribly unjust that he should lose the one thing he needed after everything he'd seen and done.

Derek stared at him for one shocked moment more, then moved forward so suddenly it was all Reid could do not to back away. He wrapped strong arms around the young doctor, who buried his face in Morgan's shoulder immediately.

"I'm sorry, Spence," Morgan murmured in his ear. His arms shifted slightly and he held the younger man closer as tried to get a hold of himself, leaning his cheek against Reid's hair. "I'm sorry, I really am; I didn't mean to scare you like that, I just… Nevermind, it's not important. I'm not leaving, okay? I'm here and I won't ever go away. I won't leave you."

Reid gave a watery laugh that was still bitter and pulled back to look Morgan in the eye. "Are you certain? Because it was damned obvious that wasn't your intention just now."

Morgan hesitated another second, surprised by the fact that Reid swore, then closed the small distance between them and kissed Reid hard, shocking him out of his half-hearted anger. Reid's hands came up and he pulled the other profiler closer and kissed him back until they were both breathless. When they pulled apart, breathing hard, Reid locked eyes with Morgan again, who didn't look away this time.

"I'm not leaving, Spencer," he said, shaking his head slightly though his eyes remained on Reid. "Do you believe me now?"

Reid's face clouded, his eyes uncertain and looking altogether too young in the darkness. "I want to, I really want to," he whispered, pressing Morgan's hand to his cheek and holding it there; he met the other profiler's eyes reluctantly. "But that look in your eyes just now… Derek, I've seen that look before and I know you have, too; it's that look that the UnSubs get, the ones that you know are going to turn out really bad, the ones that enjoy killing just for the sake of killing itself. You're walking on the line between being one of us and being one of them; I don't want to see you fall over it."

"You'll keep me on the right side, Spence. I trust you. You came for me just now, you figured it out even when I didn't want you to, and you stopped me; you brought me back to myself just by being here. I won't fall, not while you're with me," Derek replied, his voice low and certain. The look in his eyes, trusting, certain, and warm, made Reid shiver again, for an entirely different reason.

"Come on, pretty boy; let's go back to the hotel and get you cleaned up."

And Reid allowed himself to be towed along by the hand, telling himself that Derek knew what he was doing, he always did, and if he needed help again, he'd ask for it.

In trying to believe that, he did what Hotch, what Gideon had taught him never to do; he ignored the instinct that told him that something was still wrong, because he didn't want to face what could happen if he was right.

There are times when being right is worse than being wrong.