Disclaimer: I do not own 'Castle' or it's characters.

Chapter 4: 'A Painful Necessity'

***(Present Day)***

Castle was about to describe the scene he had encountered in that bedroom but remembered just in time that he was talking to his daughter. She may not have been a child anymore but there was no way he was going to tell her the details of a case that had even the hardened detectives of the 12th precinct feeling ill.

"Without the gory details, all you need to know is that the victim was killed the same way as Beckett's mother, they shared a first name and both had a daughter in college when they were killed. There were two more murders based on my Nikki Heat books, as you know. Needless to say, it was hard on us all, especially when we found out the guy doing it was a uniform from the 12th. He lost his wife to one of the guys Beckett put away last year. It seems as though he lost it and decided someone had to pay the price for his pain, and since we got to the guy responsible before he had the chance, we copped the bill.

"I'm sure you noticed, but none of us slept much. We all got snappy and said things we didn't mean, but I thought that was long behind us. I even tried to be extra nice to make up for having not stayed in the car and punching the guy in the face." The look on Alexis' face reminded him of how little he had shared with her during the case. "He was sneaking up on Beckett, I knew he didn't just want to give her a hug and say hi, so I decked him. She was upset that he could have been armed. When will she realize that I am not completely defenseless?" Alexis just raised her eyebrow at him and he let that one go. "Anyway, my point is that she has been really cold and distant since the book thing. Sure, we have always had our little play fights and occasionally even real ones but I have always been able to see where she was coming from and she has never said anything to deliberately hurt me before. Back at the station, that was just…"

"Cruel?" Alexis provided and Castle could only nod. He felt the tears gathering in his eyes. "Dad…I love Beckett as much as the next person, she's basically family…but, please, let her go. You can still help on cases and play poker and hang out with the boys, but I'm begging you, for yourself as much as for me, find someone else, someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved…I hate seeing you like this…I'm going to college soon, and I won't be able to bring myself to go if that means leaving you here like this."

He hated that she was right but he loved her for it. He knew that he had to make one thing clear though. "I don't know how you got to be so smart and wise. I want you to make the best of that. I'll do what I can, Pumpkin, but regardless of what is happening in my life I want you to go to college and live a full and happy life. Don't let anything get in the way of your happiness." With that said he decided to lighten the mood a little, "Besides, you raised me as well as you can, you'll have to let me go one day." hey both laughed at the reference to their family joke.

With the mood now palpably lighter, and Castle unwilling to discuss his feelings for Beckett and the events of that morning any further than they already had, he changed the subject, not very subtly, but he knew he would never get it past Alexis, even if he tried. Alexis respected his need to think it through enough to let him change topics without a comment.

"So, the fencing competition…It's this Saturday right?"

"Yeah, I want to be there by eight, that way I can see what I'm up against." Castle smiled.

"That's my girl! Identify their weaknesses and exploit them." He knew that was only part of the reason she wanted to be there early, one of her best friends was scheduled to compete in the first few rounds and she wanted to be there to support her. He was proud of her for so many reasons, but he had to admit, he cherished her loyalty above all of her achievements. He spent every moment of her childhood hoping that she wouldn't turn out like her mother, in it for number one, and her she was, proving that she wasn't once again. Alexis knew he knew her reasons, despite his words and felt a glow inside at the pride in his voice. He always told her how proud he was of her and how much he loved her but she still loved hearing it, whether he came out and said it or, like now, it was in his voice and written all over his face.

They spent their lunch hour talking about her practice schedule and discussing good strategies to by-pass her opponent's defenses. Alexis listened intently to her father. Most people didn't know it, but he had been trained by one of the best. He had been the undefeated champion until Meredith gave birth and decided Castle should stay home and look after Alexis while she went shopping and continued working. Castle didn't know, but Alexis was painfully aware that her mother had planned on having an abortion and only carried Alexis to term because Castle promised top take on sole responsibility for her care, except for feeding in the first year or so. Her mother had agreed. Alexis secretly suspected that that agreement had something to do with the fact that breast-feeding women tended to catch men's attention after weight lost. It was the attention Meredith loved without the cost of plastic surgery. Alexis knew that was just one more reason her father meant so much to her, even if he didn't always succeed. He did his best to protect her physically and emotionally. Whenever something got through to hurt her he was always there to make it better. She hated that he loved so easily and so completely but no-one, excepting her and her grandmother did the same for him and there was only so much she could do to protect him from pain, and that was to be so unlike her mother as possible.

To be Continued…


Author's notes: I will write a separate story for the case in the flashback if you want, although you know the end, but it's still fun to see the friction between Castle and Beckett. Besides, don't you want to see the process Castle goes through to push him over the edge and reach this conclusion? You'll need to tell me. Sucked in that's just one more reason to R&R. See, I want you to message me, so I will start providing incentive or rambling incessantly in this section. If you're still reading this, you really need to message me and stop me before I go on forever. (My sister is begging you to ask for me to do the other story too, because she wants to see it and I won't do it only for her, because I can just convey it verbally to her.) I will shut up now because I'm becoming aware that the only reason I'm still going is a lack of sleep, and I'm getting repetitive. So to save me the trouble you can just re-read this section.