Sherlock had only confirmed what she already knew, so it shouldn't have hit her as hard as it did. Molly spent the rest of the weekend alone in her apartment without even answering her phone, except to talk to her mother. She couldn't avoid her mother's calls or the woman would panic and come looking for her daughter. Her mom didn't think it was safe for her to live alone. Molly suspected that was her main reason for desperately wanting to see her daughter married off. She was upset about Molly's broken engagement, and Molly had lied and told her that Tom had been the one to end things. It was easier than trying to explain why she had let go of a decent man who had wanted a future with her. Had Tom been as depressed after their break up as she was after being rejected by Sherlock? She hadn't really thought about it until now.
Had she actually harbored such a strong secret hope that Sherlock would be won over by her confession of love? She should have known better. Her mind had known better, but her heart had refused to accept it. The death of hope was as painful as any other death. Now she was grieving for what might have been but never would. Unlike Sherlock, she wasn't content to live her life without love. She wanted to get married and have children, and she wouldn't let her next opportunity slip away. To be fair to her future fiancé, she first had to completely let go of her love for Sherlock. Her hope was already gone—hence the depression—but her heart still ached with love for him. She was naturally an optimistic person, which was why she was able to keep a positive attitude despite the somber realities of her job. That was why she knew that she would get past this and make a new life for herself. She'd already done it once before after the death of her father. Molly loved her mother too, but her father had been the one she looked up to and strived to impress. Praise from him was the best thing in the world to her, because it was so rare.
At least Sherlock was still alive. She considered herself lucky to be one of his close acquaintances despite the emotional turmoil it had caused her. He had said that he was fond of her, and her own feelings would change over time until she was fond of him too. She would fall in love with someone else. Then Sherlock would hold his proper place in her heart as a dear friend. She could even vaguely picture a distant future like that with Sherlock being like an odd uncle to John's children and Molly's children. What she couldn't imagine was a future without Sherlock in her life. Right now, however, she needed to keep her distance from him. Since he had been emphatic about wanting her to stay away from his latest case, he was unlikely to ask her for help with it. That would give her the time she needed to get everything straight in her mind. She wouldn't be completely over him by the next time she saw him, but she would be past the break up blues. Molly was now grateful that they had never dated. She didn't know how she would have been able to handle the end of an actual romantic relationship with him.
She decided to take a break from dating too. There was no sense in starting a new relationship until her love for Sherlock faded, and that would take time. She was going to focus on her work and her friendships in the meantime. Molly went to visit John and Mary the following weekend and was shocked to discover that John had moved out.
"It's not official," Mary informed her. "He hasn't asked for a divorce, not yet at least."
"What happened?" Molly asked the awkward question hesitantly, knowing that Mary was extremely upset despite her steely demeanor. She was a lot like Sherlock in that way, Molly suddenly realized.
"I can't tell you that," Mary said. "It's just too complicated to go into. Too many people are already involved in it as it is."
Her mentioning other people made Molly wonder if infidelity was the cause of this distressful situation. "Where is John living now?"
"He moved back in with Sherlock."
Molly sank heavily down onto the couch at this unwelcome news. Why did everything have to circle back to Sherlock when she was trying to avoid him? This was too much.
"Something's happened between you and Sherlock."
Molly looked up to see Mary watching her intently. She really did resemble Sherlock in how she was studying Molly right now. How had she never noticed it before? "Did you confess your feelings to him?" Mary asked.
Molly stared at her in astonishment. She wasn't close with Mary, and she had never talked with her about her feelings for Sherlock.
Mary smiled, but her smile was wistful and sad. "You're as easy to read as John. The two of you don't hide your emotions the way the rest of us do. That's why you're so trustworthy."
She was calling John trustworthy, so he obviously hadn't cheated on her. Molly also couldn't believe that Mary cheated on John while she was pregnant with his child. Something else must have happened, but she couldn't imagine what.
"Sherlock isn't there," Mary continued. "He's still in hospital, but I'm sure you know that."
"Yes." Molly finally spoke after regaining her composure. "His recovery is going well now that he's staying put to receive the medical care he needs." She paused then, because she was more comfortable with John than Mary. Strangely enough, she was actually the closest to Sherlock out of the three. He was the one she had spent the most time with, although she could hardly say that she knew that much about him. He wasn't one to share his life story.
She decided that she had nothing to lose by telling Mary the truth. "I did confess my feelings to him. I knew what he would say, of course, but I needed to hear him say it."
"He's a better person than I am," Mary said. "I'm much more selfish about what I want."
Molly was confused by this response. "Sherlock does what he wants without any regard to how it affects other people. That's the definition of selfish."
"Do you really think that what you see on the surface is all there is to him? People like us suppress our desires, because we don't want to be distracted from our work. We don't want to be weak and vulnerable by getting close to someone," Mary explained.
Now even Mary was comparing herself to Sherlock, and Molly was really curious about the newly discovered similarities between them. "You did get close to someone, obviously, because you married John."
"Yes, and the very thing I was afraid of has happened. My love for him has weakened me. Nobody had the power to hurt me like this before. Seeing what we're going through has only reinforced Sherlock's resolve not to suffer the same fate. He's stronger alone and he knows it."
"That's not true," Molly argued. "Life is better when you have someone to share it with. Sure you take the risk of having your heart broken, but all couples have their ups and downs. If John hasn't mentioned divorce, then that means he hasn't given up on your marriage. You can still work it out."
Mary sighed. "It's not just about having your heart broken. Sherlock and I are dangerous people, and that could cause serious consequences for the people we love. We know we should stay away from them, but we are drawn to them and they to us. Night succumbs to day and vice versa. Opposites attract."
It was clear to Molly that Mary was being melodramatic in her distress over her problems with John. "I don't know why you're saying that you're dangerous, but Sherlock isn't dangerous."
"You don't see the darkness in him at all, do you?" Mary questioned with a strange smile. "You and John are so similar. That's why John is his friend and you're his…" Mary shook her head. "Sherlock knows the darkness is there, and he doesn't want it to touch you."
Molly ignored the voice of reason, because she just couldn't help herself. She had to ask the question, even though she knew that she was grasping at straws. "I'm his what?"
"I shouldn't have said that. Probably best to leave well enough alone." Mary seemed to be talking to herself.
"Tell me," Molly pleaded.
Mary looked at her with compassion and understanding. "You're the most important woman in his life other than his mother. He may not express how much he cares about you, but he does. Very much."
It sounded to Molly like Mary was just trying to make her feel better. "He told you that?"
"He didn't have to tell me anything. Unlike Sherlock, I know a lot about human nature. Being able to read people was often crucial to my job, especially when things went wrong."
"Your job as a receptionist?" Molly asked dubiously.
"I used to be in…public relations. Anyway," Mary hurried on. "I noticed how special you are to Sherlock."
"When?" Molly questioned. "You've only seen us in the same room at your wedding."
"And at your job," Mary reminded her. "I don't think he would have let anyone else get away with slapping him like that."
"That was because he knew that he deserved it," Molly said.
"Do you know how violent people can become when they're high on those drugs? John told me that Sherlock attacked Mycroft right after that when they argued at his flat. He would have put him in the hospital if John hadn't intervened. Yet he just stood there and let you hit him."
Molly regarded Mary doubtfully. She didn't attach any significance to that incident since Sherlock had never given her any reason to fear him. It was true that he was bigger and stronger than her and could have easily stopped her. The fact that he hadn't wasn't any kind of proof of her being special to him. That was a ridiculous assumption on Mary's part.
"I know it's none of my business, but what did he say when you confessed your love for him?" Mary asked.
"He said that he can't return my feelings," Molly told her.
"Interesting," Mary noted. "He could have said that he doesn't return your feelings, but he said that he can't."
Molly shrugged. "What's the difference? It means the same thing."
"Not really," Mary said and left it at that.
She offered to make tea, but Molly said that she had to go. Talking about Sherlock had depressed her again. "I hope you work things out with John. Call me if you need help with anything, or even if you just want to talk."
"Yes, thank you. You too. Stop by any time," Mary said politely.
Molly supposed that they could become friends if they made the effort, but things were too depressing right now. She had sought out John and Mary in the hope of forgetting her troubles for awhile, but she had found an even more upsetting situation than the one she was avoiding. Hopefully, John and Mary would be able to work out their problems before the baby was born. Her next stop was to see John at Sherlock's flat. At least Sherlock wouldn't be there.
Molly would soon find out that nothing was going to turn out the way she expected it to that day.
Notes:
Thank you to everyone who favorited or is following this story. I'll try not to let you down.