(A/N I am soooooo sorry it took so long, but I don't have the internet....my school has banned fan fiction so I can't update as often as I would like.....I know it sucks!!

Hope you enjoy...Please review

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Chapter 4

The Cullen name making factor has got talent

BPOV

Poor Edward, he was in a terrible state, he is convinced that myself and the rest of our family is going crazy, he keeps trying to tell me i'm not super sheep, but look at me it's so obivious that I am, he is trying to convince Peter Panda that he can't recuite fellow pandas to help treat Swine flu patients saying that pandas can't be doctors, but look at Peter Panda he's a Panda and he works in the local hosptail. I think we may have to book him into a mental home, even though he could break out...maybe we should build a special home that he can't get out off.........

APOV

.....O that's a brilliant idea, My sister super sheep really is smart, a vampire proof mental home for Edward, we can make sure he gets the treatment that he needs, he really has got himself all worked up he's convinced himself that we are going crazy that we are not who we are, but I was born to be a pixie, and I am already a princess.

EPOV

Alice was blocking her thoughts again, what was she up to? Bella was running around the house with her sheild up closing all the windows and doors, she had even checked the roof for any holes, she was trying to keep the swine flu out, Emmett had taken the news report badly, sitting beside Esme crying

"I don't want to die mommy.....I have so much I want to do.....so many trees to climb..."

"It's okay Chipmunk Super sheep will have the house swine flu secure and we will all be okay"

Emmett was still thinking about what Bella had said about junkie Vampires and he wanted to try it out, so he came up with a cover story

"I'm going to climb some trees before I die..."

And away he ran, Bella was shouting at him

"If you catch the swine flu or the Swine Flu catches you......your sleeping outside"

"What........I have to sleep? I haven't slept in years is there something wrong with me?"

what had Bella started now, Emmetts mind was caos again

I'm meant to sleep...

How do I sleep?

Am ill?

Is there something wrong with me?

What are the symptoms of swine flu....sleep loss?

Carlisle had gathered his multplying panda bears in his arms and came towards Emmett

"Chipmunk my dear son, you are fine, Vampires don't need sleep"

"Phew thats okay I'm away to get high...I mean hunt and get high on bear blood, hmmmm bear"

O no

"Emmett you don't need another name extension"

"Shut up Edward stop reading my mind you freaking nutter, you belong in a mental home you crazy mother fucker"

Where the fuck did that come from?

"Do you not think I resemble a bear? Huh see I do because I have a short temper and bears have short tempers"

He walked into the living room and called a family meeting

"Every one I have a an announcment"

We all gathered around the table

"I have a new name Chipmunk Cullen Vampbear Human"

He was totally loosing his marbles, a mental institute sounds really good right now, accomodation and getting away from my family.

Every one else thought that Emmetts new name was amazing but they had all decided that they wanted to change their names, Carlisle came forward

"Maybe we should all fix up our names"

Jasper spoke

"What about we have a competition to see who can come with the best name"

Alice got so excited

"A name making talent show....The Cullen name making factor has got talent"

Emmett ran off...I couldn't read his mind because he was thinking about so many things it was too hard to read any sensible thoughts....althought he never has any sensible thoughts.

EPOV

Emmett came stumbling threw the door

"Is it just me or did any of you see that blue pig fly?"

"Emmett what the fuck...."

"Eddie, wow what did you do to your hair bro? its...its alive"

He ran away fro me screaming

"Eddies hair is alive and it's going to eat me"

What was he on?

I turned to see Bella in one of her new sheep wool jumpers coming towards me on her hands and knees, she had a dvd box in her mouth, the dvd was Black Sheep it was some sort of scary movie

"Lets watch a dvd"

Bella shouted around the house within 2 seconds every one was sitting in the living room, I put the dvd in. I have to admit it was quite funny the fact that there was killer sheep, Bella on the other hand was annoyed that any one would want to make a movie about killer sheep, so she got up and stormed out.

Emmett was trying to think of a dvd which contained chipmunks, then I remembered a dvd which is so cool, it was my guilty pleasure so I turned to Emmett an said

"Alvin and the chipmunks"

"Edward you freak....stop reading my mind and keep your hair at least 2 meters away from me at all times"

Jasper was sitting besdie me crying

"Jasper what is wrong with you?"

"Emmett called you a freak for reading his mind, so that makes me a freak for feeling his emotions, why are we so freakish?"

"Jasper, if Edward and you are freaks that makes me a freak because I see our future........HOW DARE YOU CALL US FREAKS CHIPMUNK CULLEN"

wow Alice had attitude, she was so pissed at Emmett right now, he got up and left the room he was standing at the front door thinking

"Stay in and killed by Alice or Go out side and risk that flying pig coming back and the Swine flu catching me? And being chased by Edwards crazy sex hair hair?"

Sex hair....? yea sure my hair was a little messy but thats because it has a mind of it's own....o that would really freak Emmett out.....but seriously sex hair.....!

EMPOV (When he goes to get high)

As I ran into the woods and headed towards Port Angeles, I was thinking about all the new drugs that I wanted to try out, as I reached an ally way behind a drug rehabilitation clinic I seen a group of men swapping parcles and money, some rehab this was they come to rehab to buy the drugs.......I walked over and they took one look at me and started to run. My super fast chipmunk, Vampbear reflexes caught the smallest skinniest boy by the arm and I pulled him towards me

"I want some....are you not going to share?"
"Your not a cop?"

"Do I look like a cop?"

"Yes and No, You could be your built like one"

"Well....I'm not I am a first time tryer and I want some good effective drugs to get me high...now what have you got?"

"Coke, dope, E's or LSD'S"

"Erm....which ones taste nice?"

"Dude......it doesn't matter how they taste it's how they make you feel"

"Ok I'll take $200. worth please"

The young boy handed me the stuff then I took it all, this is totally amazing hehehehehehehe

Emmetts Journey Home!!

Emmett walks into the small corner shop at the end of the street

"I would like to purchase some swine flu please"

"I'm sorry sir, what?"

"I wish to purchase the swine flu so I can get the drugs to make it go away"

"Sir we don't sell swine flu, we don't sell any illness, now please get out"

That wasn't very nice, no wonder that shop had no customers

As I was just about to walk thriugh thte front door of my house a blue pig came from nowwhere and tried to kill me, then it flew away I stumbled through the door

"Is it just me or did any of you see that blue pig fly?"

They have to have seen it...it was massive

"Emmett what the fuck...."

OMG....what is on his head....oooooh scary

"Eddie, wow what did you do to your hair bro? its...its alive"

It was trying to get me, it wants to kill me......nooooooooo!

"Eddies hair is alive and it's going to eat me"

Then I ran away, Super Sheep called us to say that we were watching a dvd, it was about killer sheep....which was sooooooo funny....then super sheep ran out huffing!!

I want to watch a movie with chipmunks...we are the most amazing animals on this whole plant I'm sure that there are loads about chipmunks......I wonder do we have any in the house....Just then that crazy sex haired freak of a brother of mine read my mind again and answered my question....GRRRRR....FREAK!

"Alvin and the chipmunks"

"Edward you freak....stop reading my mind and keep your hair at least 2 meters away from me at all times"

Then EMO jasper started to be EMO and cry like little EMO.....Right now I am playing an imaginary worlds tiniest violin just for him...NOT!

(A/N I have to say I got that from Emma-Lou.....)

Sex hair asks him

"Jasper what is wrong with you?"

"Emmett called you a freak for reading his mind, so that makes me a freak for feeling his emotions, why are we so freakish?"

What he feels my emotions....O yea I knew that!!

"Jasper, if Edward and you are freaks that makes me a freak because I see our future........HOW DARE YOU CALL US FREAKS CHIPMUNK CULLEN"

O no serioualy pissed pixie not good.....seriously not good...

Stay in and killed by Alice or Go out side and risk that flying pig coming back and the Swine flu catching me? And being chased by Edwards crazy sex hair hair?

(A/N Hey Hey.....

If you are feeling generous and wish to grace me with your reviews just simply push the little innocent box below and review!! -----WOW I actually wrote that hehehe......lol

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