Oliver's POV
"Oh, it is dinner time, isn't it?" Rin leaped up and scurried out. "I'LL MEET YA GUYS DOWN THERE!" she called.
I fidgeted nervously. "Um, Len, h-how many Vocaloids will be at dinner?"
Len shrugged. "Usually most of them show up. Why, are you nervous?"
I shifted my feet anxiously. "Most of them..." I repeated, not answering his question about my nervousness.
Oh, jeez, I don't want to do this, please, please, I DON'T want to do this! Meeting all the Vocaloids? That's way too much! I don't know if I can handle it...
I shifted again, moving from foot to foot absentmindedly, a flurry of thoughts whirling around my mind.
Oh, they're all going to hate me... I winced. I'm not supposed to think like that, not anymore. Now that I'm on my anti-depressants I shouldn't be so worried or self-conscious, right?
Oh no, but I had to look good! I straightened my hat. I didn't want them to go judging me for my looks... Oh, straightening my stupid hat wasn't going to help! I looked like a hobo! What was I supposed to do?
Suddenly I saw a hand moving around in front of my face. "Oliver?! Oliver?!"
I blinked. "Y-yeah? Sorry, did you say something?"
His eyebrows furrowed. "I called your name about a million times! Are you okay?"
I bounced on the balls of my feet anxiously. "F-fine," I lied, freaking out. Why was my head pounding like this?
"No, you're not, you're shaking!"
I looked down. I was? Huh, I guess I was... I could feel myself breathing heavily, too.
I felt so trapped... I just wanted to run and get out of this stupid, confining mansion. Len stepped closer to me and I stepped back, panting. "S-stop, Len, I'm feeling claustrophobic..."
He backed up. "What should I do to help?"
"I-I think I'm h-having some sort of panic attack... I need to go outside. Now!" I demanded, holding my racing heart.
Blood was rushing to my head. My fight-or-flight response had kicked in even though there was no danger... Damn it, why the hell did this happen? I felt a wave of self-loathing wash over me before I realized Len was speaking again.
"W-w-what?" I stammered.
"Oliver! Come on, I'll take you outside!" His eyes were concerned as he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.
"L-let go of me!" I exclaimed, tugging my arm away. Len shot me a look and broke into a sprint, leading me down the halls. My vision blurred as I stumbled after him until he flung the front door open.
I raced past him and hurried away from the house before collapsing on the walkway, panting. I could feel my heart pulsing at a million miles a minute.
I was grateful that Len kept his distance as he asked me, "Is there anything you need?"
"W-water... Water would b-be nice..." I gasped, wiping cold sweat off my brow.
He nodded and raced into the house.
I sighed, glad that he was gone. I awkwardly pulled myself onto my feet and staggered down the driveway as best as I could on my trembling legs. It was time I took my leave.
I was walking almost normally now and I was almost at the gates when I heard a voice behind me and stiffened. "Oliver!" I turned around to see Rin running up to me. "Len told me to come out and check on you while he got you water! I can see he had good reason to tell me to do that now! What happened? Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" She bombarded me with questions, making my head hurt. I winced and massaged my temples.
"R-rin, please... Slow down."
She nodded. "What happened?"
"I had a panic attack..." I replied, still massaging my throbbing head.
"What? Why?"
"I... I got nervous about eating dinner with you guys..." I said truthfully, looking down.
"If you didn't want to eat with all the others at once, you should have told us!"
I just shook my head and looked down.
"OLIVER!" I heard Len call from not too far up the walkway from us.
I cringed in pain. "Please talk more quietly."
"Oh, sorry," he whispered, stopping in front of me and handing me the water. I took a small sip.
Rin turned to Len. "He was trying to leave. Apparently he had a panic attack because he was nervous about dinner," she explained.
"If dinner bothered you, you should've said something! We aren't trying to force you to do that!" Len said.
I sighed. "That's what Rin said."
"Also, why were you leaving?" Len asked.
"...Isn't it obvious? I just had a panic attack. I don't want to stay here and bother you guys with stuff like that. I'll only cause problems. It's better if I left now, anyways. I don't even know what I was thinking, coming here." I sighed and took another sip of water.
"You aren't causing us any trouble!" Len protested, a strange look in his eyes.
"... I have to go." I shoved the cup in Rin's hands and turned around, walking slowly so I wouldn't mess with my head.
Why did I even come? Things were bound to turn out badly. What was I expecting? I sniffled. Why am I so stupid? Now I went and had a panic attack in front of them about eating DINNER for god's sakes. I felt a terrible urge for the noose again. I had nowhere left to go.
I felt a hand gently grab my shoulder. "Oliver, please stay! We promise, it doesn't matter that you had a panic attack, and we don't think any less of you! We can eat dinner separately, just you and me in my room!" Len begged.
"I... I really should go..."
"No! I won't let you leave in this condition! At least spend the night! You can go if you still want to tomorrow, I promise! We're worried about you!"
He's... worried? For me? That made me feel all tingly inside...
"I... I... S-sure." My eyes widened as I felt tears slide down my face for some stupid reason. I wasn't even sad anymore, why the hell was I crying?
I gasped and hastily wiped them away, but more kept coming.
Len looked at me concernedly and I broke down completely, sobbing like a baby. "Oliver!" He wrapped his arms around me as I sniffled and cried into his shirt, melting against him.
"I'm s-s-sorry! I d-don't k-know why I'm c-crying!" I said in between my tears.
"It's okay..." Len said, rubbing my back. I pulled away from him and looked at Rin, who was watching us. She smiled and extended her hand. I took it and we began walking up to the house with tears still trailing down my cheeks.
The three of us went up to Len's room without encountering anyone else, for which I was extremely grateful.
"I'll bring some food up for us," Rin announced. "You two stay here."
Len and I nodded and she walked out. I sniffled and wiped the last of my tears away. Len turned to me. "Are you alright, Oliver?"
"I-I'm fine. Sorry for crying, sometimes I just cry for no reason. I really don't know why," I sighed.
"It's okay, no one's mad at you for crying," he assured me.
I let my head droop onto his shoulder as I sighed exhaustedly. "Thanks."
He patted my head and I looked up at him. "You're really nice to let me stay here and all. I just... Thanks. A lot." I blushed a little, but it was something I needed to say.
Len smiled at me. "We love having you here."
I smiled back at him weakly.
"Ugh, carrying three plates is hell!" Rin said, walking into the room. I jerked away from Len, sending new pain through my still weakened body. "O-ow..."
"Huh? What happened?" Rin asked, setting the plates down.
"N-nothing, I just moved too fast..." I mumbled.
"Oh, ok." She picked up a plate and sat on the edge of the bed next to us. I stood up slowly and grabbed my plate, looking down at the food on it.
"I hope you like steak, potatoes, and broccoli," Len told me, holding his own plate.
I nodded. It was actually semi-normal food, which surprised me a little. I was expecting some kind of super fancy feast. I guess it was because of how extravagant the mansion was.
I sat down so that Len was sitting in between Rin and I. I took a bite of the steak. "WOW, this is the best steak I've ever had!" I exclaimed, looking down at the steak in awe.
Rin giggled and Len smiled. "Glad you like it," Len said.
I blushed. "Uh, yeah, it's great." I took a bite of the broccoli. "Perfect amount of butter and not undercooked. I hate crunchy broccoli, but this definitely lives up to my standards," I said, inspecting a piece of broccoli on my fork.
"You should be a food critic," Len snickered.
"Oh, hush!" I took another bite of broccoli. There was a short pause as I stared at my broccoli.
"I love how broccoli looks like little trees," I poked the broccoli around on my plate, watching them roll.
"Don't play with your food," Rin teased, smiling at me.
I blushed and shoved a piece of potato in my mouth. I chewed it and managed to swallow it. "Baked potato's great too," I commented absentmindedly, moving the food around on my plate.
Len nodded in agreement and I played with my food as the twins ate.
"I'm finished!" Rin declared, standing up with her empty plate. "Anyone else done?"
"I'm almost done, hang on," Len said, stabbing his last piece of broccoli.
Rin looked at me. "Are you- Oh my gosh, you didn't eat anything!"
"I did too! I ate a lot!" I pointed at my plate.
"You ate less than one-third of it! Is that what you call a lot?" Len asked me.
I looked away. "I don't really eat much..."
I never really feel like eating. Sometimes just the thought of eating makes me sick, but I can't really help that I don't have much appetite. So why do I always get criticized for not eating enough if I can't help it?
"I thought you said you liked it," Rin frowned.
"I did! It was delicious! I just really don't eat much, that's all!"
"I don't think that's healthy," Len said disapprovingly.
I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Please, just give me a break... I'm really not hungry. I'm not trying to be rude."
"Just try and eat a little more," Len urged me.
I sighed again and took a bite of broccoli. "Happy now?"
"No, you need more!" Rin tried to persuade me.
"DAMN IT, CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" I exploded.
They looked at me in shock and I covered my mouth. "I... I'm sorry, I just kind of... blew up..."
Rin stood up without a word and took all of our plates out of the room. I stared at my lap guiltily. "I'm sorry," I apologized to Len sincerely.
"It's okay. But I bet if you ate more the mood swings would go away," Len replied.
I glared at him. "I'm feeling less and less sorry by the second," I said dryly.
He laughed and I found myself smiling as well.
"...But seriously, I'm worried for your health. Surely it isn't good for you to be having panic attacks and have such an unhealthy diet."
I sighed. "I know."
"Do you have an eating disorder?" he asked.
"What?! No, I'm not anorexic or anything! I just... my depression causes a bunch of problems, including lessened appetite," I admitted.
"Your depression?!" he asked, a bit surprised.
Before I could respond, Rin walked back inside the room. "I'm back," she announced, and I was glad for her presence. Hopefully Len would know not to say anything about me having depression in front of Rin.
I silently thanked him when he didn't pester me further, turning to Rin instead. "Hey, Rin. What do you think we should do now? It's still not very late."
"Hmm, let me think for a second, Len... HEY! We should give each other MAKEOVERS! What a GREAT idea, I'm a genius!" Rin giggled. "Ooh, and we could do karaoke, and paint nails, and have a pillow fight, and-"
"NO WAY!" Len yelled, interrupting her. I was just staring at her in horror. I'm pretty sure Rin got all those ideas from some stupid, girly, slumber-party movie.
"W-what? But why not, Nii-chan?" Rin gave her older (by ten minutes) brother puppy dog eyes. "I really, really want to! Please, please, pleeeeaaaaase?"
Len looked like he was about to break, so I stepped in. "But, Rin, we don't want to do makeovers and stuff, it's way too girly! Plus why would Len and I paint our nails? That lasts for a long time, and only girls do that!"
Rin blinked. "Len has his nails painted right now."
"What?!" I looked down at his hands, which did in fact have yellow nails. How the heck didn't I notice earlier?
He growled at her. "That's only because Vocaloids have to paint our nails with our signature color, it's required!"
"What a weird requirement! Anyways, if both of you already have your nails painted and you're only supposed to paint them your color, then what's the point?" I asked, hoping she would give up on the idea.
Rin just grinned. "Your nails aren't painted, Oliver... And we could paint them WHATEVER color we wanted, since you're not a Vocaloid..." Her smile was demonic and I seriously feared that she would kill me as she slunk closer to me.
"I've always wanted to paint my nails rainbow, with lots of pretty hearts, flowers, and sparkly stickers, but I've always had to keep mine this stupid yellow color... Now I can execute my dreams on you!" She grabbed my hands.
I let out a short scream. "Len, help!" I begged as she dragged me off to the bathroom in the hall.
Len snickered and followed, relishing my torture as I tried to escape. "You WANKER!" I called to him as Rin pinned my hands with one of hers so she could get out her supplies. I stared in horror. "Why do you have so many colors if you can only paint yours yellow?!" I wailed.
"They're all of the Vocaloid's!" She smiled. "I also have some nail stickers handy too, because we're allowed to use them on our toenails! They still have to be painted our color, though."
I gulped at the shiny heart sticker sheet she had in her hands. "Len, please help me, this is my last chance! Please!" I begged him. My last hope...!
Len smiled at me mockingly and observed as I had my right thumb coated in thick, sticky pink polish. There was no turning back now.
I sighed, giving up my struggling. Even I knew I was defeated. I was just happy I didn't end up having another panic attack.
I watched as Rin painted my nails painfully slowly, almost as if she were doing it just to drag it on and make me feels worse. My right hand had a Luka pink thumb with Gumi green, Kaito blue, Kagamine yellow, and Gakupo purple fingers.
Rin then proceeded to stick assorted stickers on my nails; hearts, flowers, butterflies, stars... All that girly stuff.
"Why do I need so many stickers?" I complained.
"Because they're awesome!" Rin replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
I couldn't bear to watch what she did to my next hand. I only looked down at it when Rin proclaimed, "I'm finished! Now, you have to be super careful so you don't mess them up!"
Rin had painted rainbow stripes on my thumb and placed a single pink heart sticker in the center. I had more rainbow fingers and the letters, 'L,' 'O,' 'V,' and 'E' each occupied a finger, painted on in bright Meiko red.
I stared at my hands in horror and Len burst into laughter. "Oh, shut up!" I yelled at him.
Why, God, why...?
"Now, how about makeovers?" Rin asked bubbily.
"NO!" I shouted, and Len pushed her out of the bathroom and locked the door. "There's nothing to stop her from giving me one, too!"
"Oh, so when YOU'RE in danger of being mutilated by Rin you lock her out, but not when I am? Yeah, thanks!" I said loudly.
"HEY! LET ME IN!" Rin pounded in the door.
"Nope! We're not opening it!" Len called back.
Suddenly, something occurred to me. We were still in the bathroom, which Rin had dragged me into to paint my nails. Len and I were trapped together in a freaking tiny bathroom, and we couldn't leave without getting disfigured by an insane Rin!
I groaned and sat on the edge of the bathtub. Who knows how long it would take Rin to leave?
Rin fisted the door again. "I'll wait as long as it takes!"
Len sat next to me, finally realizing our predicament. "We're stuck in here."
A/N: Yay, new chappie! Anyways, this story isn't all seriousness, there's some humor too, don't worry! I included Rin painting Oliver's nails and stuff to make it a little less intense and cuz they needed to kill time before they went to bed XD Rin likes Barbie Horse Adventures and makeovers, painting nails and stuff like that, but she's like a demon if you don't do what she wants!
Also, I snuck a reference to my other Oliver X Len fic in here! When Oliver was going to get his nails painted, he thought of Len as his 'last hope,' to be saved, which is the title of my other fic! (I'm bad at sneaking in references like that, as you can tell. *shot*)
Anyways, about the panic attack bit. If anyone else here has had a panic attack before and you think this is inaccurate, sorry. It's probably just different for you. I've had a panic attack before and that was basically how I felt, but I think it's a little different for everyone. I also sometimes feel like I'm gonna puke when it happens, but I didn't write about that because I didn't want it to seem like Oliver was sick, but that he had a panic attack. So yeah, there's that chapter, I hope you liked it!
Also, sorry for errors because I don't proofread, I only use spell check!
Thank you for reading, please review! It means a lot to me!