Tris disappears into her room soon after, and i decide to do the same thing. Now is the perfect time to remember what happened-to remember what haunted us a few days ago, but then be reminded about safety. I figure it's better to do so now, because there will soon be a time when remembering these things anywhere else in the near future will shatter a mind- will ruin a person.

I want to get the thought of the leaders going against our government, mind controlling there own people out of my mind. I want to get the fact that Jeanine almost made me murder someone out of my head.

Murder Tris.

I'd rather think about something else now; The word 'murder' is ugly enough. When it's in the same sentence as the name Tris, is just infuriating. I've already shredded some paper, but there is a vase right on top of the counter that I would like to smash into the wall, but I resist for two reasons. The first being it's a childish act Eric would do, and I don't like being compared to him. The second being I don't want to get kicked out of here, although i know i won't be able to stand the thought of Marcus here any longer.

I clear my thoughts by breathing-something Amar had made me practice. I would remember how he would help other initiates with combat skills, and coping with simulations. He taught me to control my anger. Amar spent more time with me. As he was popular with the dauntless, it gave me some fame as well-as if four fears wasn't enough. It is why Eric would always want to kill me- why he almost had.

There is a knock on the door, and I am glad. Something to distract me would be great. I feel a gnawing pain in my chest. Familiar, especially during my lonesome time in dauntless before Tris came into my life. I ignore the pain, because then I would become what i used to be when i was "four," the cranky, hot-headed dauntless who was "ruthless" enough to win first in the rankings two years ago.

The cranky, hot headed part was the only part of those rumors that where correct. I wasn't ruthless...at least i don't think i was.

Either way, I yell "It's open." at the door, awaiting the person behind it.

Caleb opens it.

Oh joy.

"Hello." He says normally, but his eyes narrow.

"What did I do now." I tell him exasperated. I had enough trouble for the day. So many lousy amity rules...cleaning for them. Being nice to people.

The thing that angers me more is the fact that we can't discuss the fact that a war is waging against two factions-Three if you include the dauntless.

"I came by to discuss something." Caleb says. At first I assume he means the war, and I am about to remind him that it isn't allowed here, but he cuts of before i can even open my mouth.

"It's about my sister."

Oh...

"Tris." I say nodding once. "What about her?"

"You said she was your-"

"My girlfriend. Yes. Honestly Caleb, I picked her up when she could barely stand near the tracks, and I kissed her on the train. What did you think?" I tell him. For erudite, he is somewhat...stupid.

I am happy Tris can't read my thoughts, although, sometimes, it's as if she can.

"I thought you picked her up because you were both in the same faction, and like they say, faction before blood." He snaps, apparently angered that I made a fool of himself. "And i thought you were messing with her on her train, as the Dauntless would so often do."

In easy, modern English: Your Dauntless, and your playing with my sister, so stop trying to get her to sleep with you.

"I am not fooling around with her, if that's what your thinking."

Tris proved how much she cared for me by allowing me to kill her, in return for myself to live. But what she doesn't know is that i would have rather died. In fact I'm positive i said so before I was injected with that serum...

"And how do know that? What have you done for her that would make you worthy of my respect?"

"Pfft. I don't need your respect." I say. It comes out ruder than i thought it would, but it's how i blow off some steam.

"I think you do." He says, in his annoying, know-it-all look.

"How so." I ask, honestly confused. Why do i need his respect?

"Well, think about it. I'm your girlfriend's brother. I've been with her since thick and thin. For sixteen years, and you..." He says, now getting on my nerves. "Have known her for what? A few weeks? Who do you think she'd trust if something was up with her."

"What's the best memory you had with her?" I ask.

"Talking about our day in the family room." He says, happy with his answer.

"Mine is climbing the navy pier Ferris wheel with her."

"Wha-" He says alarmed, but i cut him off.

"That's when i knew I liked her. What's your worst memory with her, discounting the simulation attack?" I ask. This is turning into a competition of 'Tris has better memories with me than with you.'

"Yelling at her when she broke my watch because she was mad at me."

I don't elaborate, because it is something Tris would do.

"Mine is throwing knives at her head."

"huh?"

Not the best thing to tell the brother, dim wit.

Oh hush stupid conscience.

"It's not like I her hurt her. It just hit a part of her ear. And that's because I aimed it there."

I expect him to yell at me for doing such a thing to her, but no. He looks at me in a dumbfound way. It is a look of awe, and amazement. It is similar to the one Amar gave me, when he found out my talent of four fears. I notice, suddenly, that Amar and Caleb have the same green eyes. So did Natalie Prior.

"I don't think it's possible for a person to have that good of an aim." He states.

"Well, I can do it, so it's not impossible."

"Prove it." He says.

"Fine. What should I throw. And what's the target?" I ask.

He leaves the room, but comes back a few seconds later with a back bag. It is blue. Erudite. From it, he takes out a a hunk of cheese, and a knife.

"And you think the dauntless are messed up." I say.

"In Erudite, i was assigned to study the aptitude test simulations. They wanted me to see what a person would do if it was not a simulation, but real life. I had this knife, and this cheese. I even trained a dog to attack on command." He says.

"The cheese didn't mold?"

"Of course not. The milk it's made of had a serum to make it last longer. Up to three months." He states.

It might be gross, but I think it's cool.

He positions the cheese on my dresser. He tells me to sit all the way on the other side.

"Hit the dead center." He says.

"Mark it. I don't want you to say that i didn't hit the middle."

He takes a marker, and makes an 'x' through the center.

I breathe in, Imagining the scent of the training room. Metal and sweat. The fierce scent of power. Of courage. Not a hint of selflessness. I wasn't supposed to be that person anymore. Deep inside though, i knew i was.

I breathe out, letting go of the knife at the same time. As expected, it hits the center.

Of course it did. I was trained by Amar. He taught me to control myself- to control my thoughts, and my actions. I've forgotten to control my thoughts with Tris though. That doesn't scare me at all.

Caleb looks at the knife. Maybe now he knows not to get me angered.

"Uh..." He says trailing off. The expression on his face makes it hard not to laugh.

"Now, what else did you need me to talk to you about?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Can I try?" He asks.

An erudite throwing knives. This should be amusing. "Sure." I say shrugging.

He aims the knife, inhaling. He lets go of the knife, and then exhales, the knife falling mid air.

"No, not like that," I say, through a small burst of laughter.

"What do you mean 'notlike that'? I imitated you perfectly." He says, scowling.

"You did not." I say, pointing to the knife on the floor.

"Well, do it again, then,"

I pick up the knife, and throw it once more,the knife going through the cheese. At that same moment, the door opens, and Tris looks at us in a confused look. Her eyes drift to Caleb, who is beside me, jaw dropped.

"Tell me he's some kind of dauntless prdigy. Can you do this too?" He asks, eyes still wide, like a frogs.

"With my right hand, maybe. But yes, four," I look at her as she says my nickname. Like earlier today, still a bit of a turn on. "is some kind of Dauntless prodigy."

A prodigy that never belonged.

"Can i ask why your throwing knives at cheese?" She says, one eyebrow raised.

"Caleb cam by to discuss something. And knife-throwing just came up somehow." I tell her, leaning on the wall behind me. I want her. Now.

"As it so often does." she says, smiling. She stares at me, and I stare back. It is easier to do this, than to look away.

"Anyway, i should be getting back to my room. I'm reading this book about the water filtration systems. The kid that gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it."

I don't blame that kid.

"I think it's supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating." He continues. "Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too."

I can't help it.

"Not at all." I say my voice somewhat sarcastic. Caleb doesn't catch on, but the look Tris gives, me I know she knows I'm kidding. "Maybe you should read the repair maual too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like."

Tris gives me a look of shock and pure dread.

"I can loan it to." Caleb says, obviously happy to discuss a topic with his sister.

Tris is going torture me for this later.

"Maybe later." She says kindly. Caleb leaves, and the door closes. The second it does, Tris turns around so fast, I might expect her neck to crack. She glares at me, but it makes me want to kiss her.

"Thanks for that. Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me about."

"Oh and whats that?" I say, my eyebrow arched, and i grin with amusement. Tris is very endearing when she is upset about little things like this. "Aquaponics?"

"Aqua-what?"

"It's one of the ways they grow food here. You don't want to know." I tell her. I remember reading about it. I drifted to sleep on the first page.

"Your right, I don't. What did he come to talk to you about?"

"You. I think it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all that." I say. I am not messing with her. I truly like her. I get up. Tris came here for a reason, and I wonder if it's the same reason why I want her at the moment.

"What did you tell him?" She asks, tilting her head. I walk to her slowly, careful not to be too eager.

"I told him how we got together-that's how knife-throwing came up. And i told him I wasn't messing around."

I wrap my fingers below her waist line, on her both side of her hip, pushing her gently up against the door.

I place my lips to her hers, and kiss her, allowing her to melt into me. She wraps her left arm around me, pushing me closer. She find the hem of my red shirt, and it goes goes under it, moving against my back.

I almost groan. I kiss her harder, wanting her to be closer to me more than ever. My hands grasping her waist for as long as possible. Her hand on my back as long as well.

I know Tris well enough to know that if she came here, she came for a reason. A part of me wants her to come here for me, and only me.

I should know better.

"This isn't what you came here for." I say pulling back, just a little, so my lips still brush hers.

"No."

"What did you come for, then?"

"Who cares?"

Not me.

Her long fingers go up my hair, and she pulls me down to her again. I let her, because this is what I want. But I realize that she came to talk, and that is what we should be doing.

"Tris." I mutter against her cheek, not very willing to stop, but having to.

"Okay, Okay" She says. I slide my fingers to hers, and guide her to the bed. She sits next to me.

"I followed Marcus and Johanna to the orchard, and heard something he said that caught my attention."

I scowl and my lips frown. I stopped us from kissing, to talk about Marcus?

"He said something about how he and the other leaders had information, and that Jeanine stole it. He didn't tell Johanna what it was though. She tried to pry it out of him, but he had an outburst, and she didn't ask any further questions. Well, what do you think?"

"I think that it's marcus trying to feel more important than he is." As always.

"So...what? You think he's just talking nonsense?"

I think about this. Marcus isn't one to say anything for the hell of it. He just likes to...exaggerate.

"I think there probably is information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know, but i think he's exaggerating it's importance. Trying to build up his own ego by making Johanna think he's got something she wants and he wont give it to her."

"I don't...I don't think your right. He didn't sound like he was lying."

This irks me. Who is she believing? Him or me? "You don't know him like I do. He is an excellent liar." I tell her. It is a fact. I remember all the lies he told everyone about my scars, and bruises.

"Maybe you right."

Maybe? pfft.

"But should we find out what going on? Just to be sure?"

"I think it's more important that we deal with the situation at hand. Go back to the city Find out whats going on there. Find a way to take the Erudite down. Then maybe we can find out what Marcus was talking about, after this is all resolved. Okay?" I ask.

She nods. "Okay."

Sorry i didn't update last week...I might update again with the next 3 days or so :-D

thanks for reading ;) 4