---------------------------------Chapter 4-------------------------------------------

"Pardon me Barn, but what in the hell are you talking about?"

"The state trooper said Otis was on Meth, and that it would infect the whole town, and I think it already has!"

"Barney, Barney," Andy started as he got up from his desk, "I knew Otis was smoking meth, but the whole town? How'd you figure that?"

Barney was pacing in front of the cells, "everyone keeps talking about some albino deer last night. They say that's what I saw instead of Otis. They're all laughing at me."

"Well, that's because they do think that. They also think you panicked and thought it was Otis."

Barney slowed to a stop by the desk, "Why would they think that?" Andy pulled the other chair closer to his desk, and motioned Barney over.

"Have a seat Barney; I've got something to tell you." After Barney sat down, he started.

"Barney, do you like living in Mayberry?"

"Sure."

"Until yesterday, would you have described this town as idyllic?"

"You bet, Andy."

"Well," Andy drawled, " It takes a little work to keep Mayberry the way it is, the way we all like, the Mayberry that it's supposed to be."

"That's our job, isn't Andy?"

"Sure Barn, so to keep the people from thinking that smoked up drunks are getting killed it the middle of the night, or that Goober was murdered in a greasy filling station, sometimes a little misinformation has to be sprinkled around." Andy looked at Barney's blank stare for a second before continuing.

"I told all the people on the street last night, that what was under the blanket, was a large deer."

"You… you …wha…"

"I said you panicked and thought it was Otis," Andy continued quickly, "and called before you looked. Now, before you say anything, 'cause I know your going to be angry, everyone on that street went back to what they had been doing, sleeping."

"But…but…Andy," Barney stammered, "you said I did good, you bragged on me, I thought I had done the right thing." He looked down at his shoes for a moment, "I just don't understand."

"Look at it this way, instead of the townspeople living in pointless fear of a drug epidemic or a serial killer, they can get on with their lives and let us get on with our work," Andy said slowly. "Maybe you look a little foolish this time, maybe I'll look foolish next time, it's all for the greater good of the community."

"What about Goober, Ange? Sara knew he was murdered. What about that?"

"I called her back from the filling station and told her it was an accident, and Wally over-reacted."

"Seems to be a lot of that going around lately," Barney said glumly.

"Now don't be that way, Barn. Taking one for the town is nothing less than heroic."

"Yeah, but I can't tell anyone about it, can I?"

"No, but what you're doing is the purist form of charity."

"It is?"

"Sure Barney, you know, don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. No wiser words were ever spoken. So, cheer up, it'll blow over in a day or two, and Mayberry will be back to normal."

The thought of a normal Mayberry was a selling point for Barney, and he started to feel a little better. "I guess I see now," he said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Andy said. "Do you feel like a trip out of town for the afternoon? It'll help get your mind off this Otis situation."

"What do you have in mind Andy?"

"I know where the meth lab is, and I plan on raiding it."

"When do we leave," Barney said with determination.

"Grab a rifle and come on."

The summer air hung heavy with humidity as the pushed their way through the briars and poison oak in the forest near town. After making their way through a hollow, they topped a small knoll when Andy stopped and pointed.

"You see that old shed down there? See that one board that's faded more than the others?" he asked. "I'll bet you can't hit it from here."

"Well," Barney said with a smug look, "they don't call me ol' crack-shot Fife for nothing, you know." Shouldering his rifle, Barney sighted down the barrel trying to find a good firing line through the leaves. Once he found the target in his sights, he squeezed the trigger… and the world exploded.

Red and yellow after flashes danced in Barneys' eyes as he looked skyward. The dull roar in his ears seemed to be asking him a question, over and over again. Bits of wood and debris were raining down through the forest canopy when he realized that it was Andy.

"Hey Barney, are you all right?"

"I… I think so," Barney stammered as he stood up. "What just happened?"

"That was the meth lab. There must have been a propane tank against that board," Andy said in excitement. "You did it Barney! You killed the meth lab!" he finished patting Barney soundly on the back with each word.

"I did?" Barney asked hopefully. "I did, didn't I?"

"That's right, no meth lab ever stood a chance in Mayberry with ol' crack-shot Fife around," Andy boasted.

Thunder rumbled as the patter of rain on leaves started.

"Hmm," said Andy, "can't ask for better luck than this."

Even though he was tired and soaked, Barneys' spirits were finally picking up. He even felt like he could take the ribbin' that he knew the people in town were going to give him for the next week. He was almost looking forward to it. Andy told him to take the rest of the day off as he dropped him off at his apartment house. Dry at last, Barney found sleep too persuasive as he tried to watch TV.

Well after dark, Barney was awakened by a persistent tapping noise. Tap tap tap, he sat up and looked around with bleary eyes.

Tap tap tap, he put his feet on the floor and stood up.

Tap tap tap, he walked over to his window and opened it to find a face looking back in at him.

"Gaah!" Barney exclaimed as he jumped back. Earnest T took this as an invitation and crawled through the window. "What are you doing here?" asked Barney gathering his senses.

Earnest squinted and pointed his finger at Barney. "I know what you done in the woods today dep'ty. I was watchin' you." Advancing on the deputy, he continued, " You think you blowed up an old shed, but you done more that that."

Backing up across the room. Barney bumped up against his chest of drawers.

"What do you mean?"

"That was a meth lab alright, and they was somebody in it when you shot it."

"That can't be," said Barney, "I would never do that."

"Well you've dunnit now! Brisco and his two boys are toast 'cause of you," Earnest said with a crazy look in his eye.

"Andy wouldn't ask me to shoot into a building full of people. Besides, why should I believe some who crawls through windows in the middle of the night?"

"Doors is for mo-rons," informed Earnest, "Smart folk like me use the winder."

"What!?"

"Never mind 'bout that, I was in the forest watchin you today. I know you didn't mean to kill Brisco, but I figured you needed to know. Sheriff isn't quite the person you think he is."

"You listen here Earnest," said Barney, standing up straight, "I've known Andy for years, he's my best friend.

"He's… he's respectable!" Barney finished.

"I know somethin' that you don't," Earnest said grinning. Breaking into a little chant, Earnest danced towards the window. "I know somthin that you don't. I know somthin that you don't." He stopped only to crawl out the window.

"If you wanna know what I know, you'll go to the barber shop right now. Do you want to know what I know"

"What do you know?"

"Go to the barber shop and find out. You may even find that car you was lookin for last night." Like a redneck Cheshire cat, Earnest vanished into the night leaving only the echoes of his maniacal laughter hanging in the window.