Sunday always comes to late….
I laid here in my bed, in the bed that I shared with Jake, still thinking about everything that had happened last night. Thinking of how close I was to Edward, how wonderful it felt when he held me, when he sang to me, when his lips lingered there. I thought as I touched my cheek, still trying to recreate the feeling that he had left there.
I had healed so much over the past few years, it took so much to get over, the rejection, loosing your best friend.
What more could a girl hope for?
Oh, I don't know, how about not talking to that said best friend, that you told you were in love with, because he wouldn't speak to me.
Sounds about right.
The real question is why is he even bothering after all this time?
What does he hope to accomplish?
I had talked to Jacob a couple of times on the phone and to my disappointment was informed that he was looking at staying out there with his dad until the wedding, which was just a few months off. He wanted my okay to see about transferring to the Seattle office for the time being. I could not object. This is what he needed to do, he wanted to be there for his dad.
So that was going to leave me planning all of this alone, well not really alone. I doubt that I would be allowed any say so on anything to do with my wedding, since Alice is involved. She already had her wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses picked out, catering taken care of and decided on a cake. All she had to do is deliver her order to Marion, who is our wedding planner, tomorrow. We both had an appointment with her tomorrow to get started on planning for our big days, the happiest day of our lives.
So why can I not get excited about this?
Maybe because it is so far off that it does not even seem real yet.
Or maybe it's something else.
Sunday morning quickly turned into Sunday afternoon, and then Sunday evening. I had just gotten out of the tub when the phone rang.
"Hello," I said.
"Hey Bella, I just wanted to make sure that we are still on tomorrow for our meeting with Marion at one. I thought that we could go to lunch first, you know at that quaint little bistro right across from the office and then head on up there," Alice inquired.
"Ye,p we are still on, I'll have to see about lunch though, I kind of got behind by taking off Friday, and from the latest office gossip, I heard that a quote un quote big boss was going to be starting at the Manhattan office tomorrow. Do you know anything about it?" I asked.
"No, Emmett or Edward hasn't updated me on anything like that, so it must not be that important. Anyway since I am kind of your boss, I am telling you that you are taking off from noon till the end of the day and if your new boss has a problem. Let me handle i," she stated.
As much as I hate nepotism, I really do enjoy that my best friends (well two out of three) own the company that I work for.
"Yes ma'am boss lady, so what time did you end up leaving the wedding?" I asked, trying to make small talk.
"Oh, about one in the morning. And then I went straight home to see all the pictures that Jasper had. Hey wait a minute, I am going to forward you some. There was a lot with you in them. At least you can send Jacob a picture so he knows what he missed out on," she told me, while I turned on my laptop to see when would receive the email from her.
" I just sent them, so you should be receiving them any moment now," she told me, and sure enough, I had mail.
"Alice how many did you send me, there must be over fifty pictures here?" I asked, as I started clicking on the thumbnail size pictures, to get a better glance.
"Oh that is just about half of it, the file was to huge to send, so I will send you the rest later," Alice said.
"Look at pictures forty to fifty-five, Bella," she instructed me.
I did so and then I wish I wouldn't of. There in front of me was further documentation of the previous night's events. The first one was Edward with his hand on my back while we where talking to my father. The second was him and I arm and arm walking across the ballroom. The next five or so were of when Edward and I were in the corner and he had his arms snaked around my waist. One of those was a close up of his face while he was staring at me. The next three were when we were dancing, and I swear he had the hugest smile on his face in all three of these. The last five were of me dancing with my father, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and Phil. Nothing to descript there.
"Bella do you see the one's of you dancing with everyone else? Look in the back ground, maybe even enlarge the picture if your software will allow you. Do you see who is watching you in the background. Look at the table to your left. You will see it," Alice told me.
And I did. I saw him just watching me. He looked so sad, he looked lost.
"What was that all about Alice? Why would he be watching me, he should have been dancing with that Tanya person. Wasn't that his date?" I asked.
"Bella, he just misses you and I know that him coming home was hard for him, especially seeing all of us and you, after being gone for so long. I can tell that nothing was going on with his date. They didn't even dance once," Alice said
"You mean they didn't even dance once, not even, nothing?" I asked.
"Nope, all though I did see them in quite a few discussions, but I doubt there is anything romantic there at all. Why do you want to know? Huh Bella?" Alice said, while trying to be funny at the end.
"I just wanted to know what was up with him last night. every time I would look up I would always meet his eyes somehow, I just found it..... a little odd since he had a very attractive date that he could have been paying attention to that is all," I responded.
After a few more minutes of talking, I let her go so I could go to bed. Actually I lied, all I did was go into my room and pulled out my old yearbook and started looking back at it. I flipped to the page where there was a picture of him and I at prom.
*Flashback May 2001*
"Bella, I just requested a certain song that will hopefully move you in the right direction with my brother. Good luck," Alice told me as she rushed off to go find her date for the evening.
As soon as the music started the D.J. spoke out over the PA system. "This song was requested as a shout out for someone to get their butt in gear and take charge already. Well I hope you know who you are." Thank God she did not use my or her name.
Just as the music started, Edward made his way through the gallery of girls that was following and made his way over to me.
"Miss Swan, may I please have this dance," he asked as he held out his hand for me to take.
I quickly obliged and followed his lead before the vocals started. I put my arms around his neck and he descended his upon my back at my waist. He pulled me in tighter, and I truly regretted it.
We were moving back and forth to the beat. I had my head on his chest as he placed his lips on head, and then my personal god spoke. "God Bella, I wish we could just stay like we are here, like this forever." And with that I looked up to see his face. His eyes were glazed over like he was deep in thought , and he started smiling my favorite Edward smile just for me. He then pulled me in tighter so I had my head resting on his upper chest.
Then he started singing the lyrics of the song to me
You got it, You got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when
You stuck in the house and don't wanna have fun
'Cos all you think about
You got it bad when you are out with someone
But you keep thinking 'bout someone else
You got it bad
"Edward is everything okay? You would tell me if something was wrong right?" I asked.
He had seem so solemn the past couple of weeks, and I did not know what was wrong. I had tried asking Emmett and Alice but they had no insight to Edward. They usually left that up to me.
"Bella, right now in this momen,t everything is perfect. I don't want you to worry about me. I just have some stuff on my mind and I do not want you to trouble yourself with my problems right now. I just want you to remember that I want you to be happy. No matter what. Okay?" he said as he lifted my chin up to see into my eyes. He looked pained like something was hurting him. I just wish that he would let me in and let me help him, however I can.
"Okay, just remember if you ever need me I'm here, ready to listen," I told him. Then he leaned down to rest his head on the side of my head as he mumbled something. He started singing with the song again.
I said I'm fortunate to have you girl
I want you to know I really adore you
All my people know what's going on
Look at your mate and help me sing my song
Tell her I'm your man ( and with this he kissed the top of my head again)
You're my girl (He squeezed me in closer to him)
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world
Ladies say I'm your girl
You're my man
Promise to love you the best I can ( he lifted his head up to look at me)
The song continued and when it was over he asked if I wanted to go ahead and leave for the night.
Flashback ended***
I had thought and others (Rose and Alice) had always said that they believed that Edward had felt the same way about me. Looking at these pictures that Alice had sent me, plus all the memories that I had of our time together, makes me fully believe that I was right, he had loved me.
But that changed nothing, and kind of everything.
Sorry about taking so long for an update!!! I hope you like, and even if everyone does not review I plan on playing this out. Please review and let me know if you like or not!!!