Disclaimer: Guess what. Don't own.
Hello everybody who is happening to read this! Sorry for the late update. This chapter didn't come out nearly as funny as I'd had hoped but oh well enjoy it if you can. Oh yes and as the story progresses Root and Foaly will be acting more and more out of character as they get madder and madder at each other. I'm sorry but it's hard to write it any other way! (don't say I didn't warn you!)
Switched: Part 2
Chapter 4
Foaly:
Foaly looked the PowerPoint over, eyebrows scrunched together. It was ready, he determined. It was ready to be released into the public. Foaly was tempted to heat up a bag of popcorn, but he couldn't wait any longer so he settled on a bag of Skittles. (Taste the Rainbow, I say, Taste the Rainbow!) Satisfied, he prepared himself for the show.
Root:
Root was pacing around on four legs in his own office, struggling with his conscience and his common sense. His conscience was currently dealing the bigger blow.
You dummy! How could you just calmly walk away? You practically trash Foaly's office with carrot juice and leave! Just leave! Without apologizing! Okay, maybe that wouldn't have helped, but at least you could try! (see, I told you it would be OOC!)
On the other hand, this common sense was saying the exact opposite.
Shut up, conscience! You did the right thing, brotha. That pony probably stole that juice anyway, and it wasn't your fault for blowing off steam! You had every right to after Foaly's obnoxious computer program anyway!
His two sides argued, one against the other. Good and bad. Yin and yang. Angel food cake and devil food cake. Okay, not the best of comparisons, but what else was there?
In the end, Root's conscience won- sort of. He decided to wait until Foaly could cool off, then he would saunter over to Foaly's office and act like nothing had happened. When Foaly brought up the subject, which he would, Root would say a nice, genuine, sincere sorry. There's always a time for firsts, right?
At least, that was what was supposed to happen until Root saw the slide show.
Foaly:
It was impossible to miss. Foaly had rigged it so that it interrupted every LEP officer's computer and TV screens with its message. It wormed its way throughout the entire LEP network, starting with a pop-up message.
'We interrupt this program to bring you one of the most enlightening slide shows you will have ever seen in your life! Click OK to continue.' Just in case they didn't click OK, Foaly made the slide show appear on each LEP officer's (and Root's) screen anyway.
The first slide was the title one. In big bubble letters with a flashing background, the screen proclaimed, 'Know Your Stars: Commander Julius Root'.
"D'Arvit! What the-?" Root's eyes bulged and it took every bit of his self-control to keep from smashing the brand-new, extremely expensive plasma TV in his office. What was going on?
After five seconds Foaly showed the next slide. It showed a picture of Root half-turned sideways, engaged in pleasant chit-chat, a smile on his face as he talked. The thing was, Foaly had altered the background to a sunny beach background with sparkling waters, sun, and sand.
He had also done some cutting-and-pasting, as the commander was now dressed in a revealing, flirty two-piece bathing suit that was pink with white flowers. He appeared to be talking to two pretty girls, though they looked frightened and disturbed. Under the photo was the quote, "I'm Julius Root, and I love to wear my bikini! Don't I look sexy?"
Foaly let this slide sit for a full seven seconds, watching and enjoying himself as the murmurs escalated. Is there anything better in life? Then he presented the third slide.
This one showed a picture of Root grinning and presenting with one arm an entire dusty warehouse shelf with boxes and boxes of fungus cigars, all unopened and brand-new, lined up next to each other. In the background were several elves pushing around carts of more boxes, grumbling. True happiness, Julius style.
Under this altered picture, Foaly had placed the words, "This is only one of my warehouses of cigars I own! Impressive, huh? But how do think I get all my cigars? Robbery? Well, I can't blame ya…wait! That came out wrong!"
The next slide showed Root holding an intern by his throat several inches off the ground. The intern's face was turning a purplish-red color from lack of breath. Root's face matched the hue, only his was from anger, (or was it pleasure?)not suffocation. "This is what I do with my free time," was placed under it.
There were five more slides after that, showing everything from Root cuddling his bunny Sugarpuff to Root playing a video game with a five-year-old pixie. During the show, even from Foaly's office, through the reduced-sound walls,you didn't need a microphone to hear the laughter.
The last slide said, 'THE END: Now you know Julius Root, bikini-wearer, intern-strangler, and bunny-cuddler! We hope this show has given you a little more background on our favorite commander!"
Foaly exited the slide show off everyone's computer and TV screens. He congratulated himself with a pat on the back and put his feet on his desk. There was nothing modern-day technology couldn't do these days.
Root:
Except save Foaly from the wrath of one (extremely annoyed) Commander Root, perhaps. While Foaly – ahem – Root took his lunch break at the local café (revenge sure stimulated a person's appetite, but after what he had done he couldn't just head over to the LEP pantry) Root – ahem- Foaly took a look in Foaly's office, I mean, in his own office. Gosh, all this body-switching mayhem thing is confusing to a person's grammar!
Anyway, back to Root. Walking around Foaly's office, he knew one thing: Had Foaly not publicly embarrassed him in front of the entire LEP, or just plain embarrassed him, he would have been an afterthought, what he always deserved to be anyways. Now, Root had no intention of saying sorry anymore. Now, to him, he had to settle the score. He didn't care if he triggered a World War III between him and Foaly, but the commander wanted his dignity back. And he knew just the way to do it. Well, not get his dignity back, but start a World War III that is.
In Foaly's supply closet (more like supply room) Root found the perfect thing to take out his revenge: an old-fashioned Mud Man video camera complete with tripod stand and carrying case. However, it had been re-designed so it could record on fairy disks as well as Mud man videos and DVD whatchamacallits.
Root found a couple brand-new blank fairy disks and took one. Her inserted it into the camera, and then through a little exploring, found Foaly's laboratory. Dragging the stand behind him in a way that was sure to leave scratch marks, Root moved the camera and stand right in front of one of Foaly's experimenting tables where a half-finished prototype of…something…lay. Really, you can't blame him, it looked somewhat like a statue of some important guy melted and re-mushed together and hardened to form pudding. There was a mess of blueprints, it looked like, off to the side along with a drill.
It took Root a little while to figure out exactly where to aim the camera, and then another little while to set it up. But when he finally had it, Root smiled. Showtime.
Root attached a protective mask to his head, you know those metal things with eye slits that make you look like a mad scientist? For the moment, he lifted it up so you could see his face. Pressing the on button, Root peered unnervingly close to the camera, blinking his large, bulbous eyes a few times for good measure.
Scene 1:
Once he was sure the camera was on, Root pulled his face away, winking not-so-discreetly and grinning evilly. He waved a little, then pulled down his mask and tiptoed over to the table. Picking up the drill-thingy, Root flicked off the safety cap and depressed the button with his thumb carelessly.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ went the drill, white sparks emanating from its mouth. Root touched the tip gently to the hunk of metal, producing the expected harsher Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt sound you always see in mad-scientist movies.
Root pressed the tool harder until the noise became deeper and staticky. At one point he was aware of the drill drilling right through the metal itself and beginning to move on to the table, making it vibrate gently.
Root pulled out the drill too late; there was a small charred black hole that was smoking on the desk. Oh well, let that be a sign of warning to the pony…
Scene 2:
This time Root was in front of Foaly's carefully organized cabinets. The scene began with Foaly's file cabinets all pulled open, though nothing was messed up of taken out. For the moment at least.
Root had sat as cross-legged as he could with four legs. He waved. "Hello Foaly, it's me, Foaly, here with an important message that I think you could learn from."
With one hand, Root pulled out a couple pieces of paper, and in the other he picked up a torch-blower. He waved the papers in front of the camera, revealing what looked like several important-looking complicated documents in an indistinguishable scrawl. Written by Foaly of course.
"The Japanese value simplicity," Root said. "Why shouldn't we?" With that he turned on the torch blower, a bluish-colored flame erupting from the tip of the instrument. Nowhere near as the white-hot fire that is should have produced- evidently its batteries were running low. How embarrassing-but Root didn't know how to edit tapes so he proceeded. Besides, any kind of flame could be used for this.
Root made sure his fire-resistance gloves were on right, then he touched the flame to the papers, which almost immediately caught on fire. He let the papers burn for a while, doing his best to enjoy the crackling noises without feeling guilt, then doused the flame with a fairy fire extinguisher. He held up the blackened papers to the camera. It was burnt in many spots, blurring the remaining words together.
Root repeated the process several more times on different papers, then ended the scene with a remote control right when he was in the middle of burning a new wad of paper, giving Foaly the right to assume he would continue until there was nothing left unburnt when in reality Root put away everything after and prepared for the next scene. Don't say the pony didn't deserve it.
Scene 3:
The final scene. At last. There was only one more part of Foaly's lair: The Chem Lab.
It was really just one big table with drawers of pipettes, test tubes, etc. and a small fridge with different liquids. In a large crate next to the table were manilla folders and miscellaneous papers along with Foaly's observation journal.
Already set up on the table was a complicated looking contraption with twists and turns. There were several test tubes filled with bubbling, hissing and spitting liquids of all colors attached to various tunnels and clear tubes. The entire…thing...was encased in a removable glass case for safety, which Root almost immediately discarded.
Time to have a little fun, thought Root excitedly.
He found a vial of a purple, gurgling potion-like liquid lying on Foaly's desk. There was a sticky spot on the lid where a label used to be, but there wasn't one now, so…erm, how could you expect Root to know there was a skull and bones symbol on it?
Root unscrewed the lid with a hiss. The purple liquid, thicker than water but not as thick as melted chocolate, gave a protesting sound that sounded like a moan. Root tipped the vial so a few drops would fall into a triangle-shaped beaker, then changed his mind and held the vial straight pointing downwards, letting the whole potion pour into the beaker. A second later Root wondered whether that was a safe thing to do considering the potion could have been a highly poisonous mixture that could blow up the universe, but then shrugged it off. What were the odds?
From the beaker (which was emitting a clear steam) the purple liquid dripped down another tube into a shaking, fogged-up rectangular bottle. Instead of it continuing into the next tube, the mix leaked out and into an empty soda can. Root was somewhat disappointed to say the least. He had hoped for more of a show…you know, for the camera…
Trying not to think, 'That's it?', Root scooped up the can, noting that the color of the liquid had changed to a noxious green potion that seemed to vibrate and make groaning sounds, but maybe that was just his imagination…
Shrugging, Root pulled open Foaly's minifridge and took out another container with a teaspoon attached to the lid. Inside it was a black oily tar-like solution. A Post-It was stuck to its side, saying 'Mix with Substance A. Use one teaspoon only. More will end in explosive results.'
So dramatic. Explosive results my foot…I mean, hoof. But what's Substance A? Oh well this green solution will have to be good enough… Root slammed down the half full soda can on the table and opened the container. He carefully spooned everything in it into the can, not spilling a drop. Then he stirred the mixture with the teaspoon before tossing the spoon and container aside.
The soda can shook and bubbled, spitting drops of a dark green liquid that seemed to evaporate as soon as they touched the air, then it settled down again with a hiss. It looked like nothing had happened except the change of color.
That's all? What about the explosive—
Kraka-
BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
Heh heh…oops.
End scene
End chapter
Should I delete this fic? (wow, that was random) I NEED FEEDBACK! Please review.