Hey Guys. Thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter, I really appreciate them and Love hearing your comments and feedback. Here is the next chapter so I hope you like it

Enjoy :)

39 days. That's how long it had been since he left McNally. 40 days since the first time they had slept together, that memory never leaving his thoughts. 213 agonizing days till he gets to go home. That's 213 days of hoping and praying that she would still be there when he got back, that he could try and explain to her why he left, how much she means to him. Not like it matters anyway, she had told him to leave. For the past few weeks his nightmares have been the same, every friggen night. And no matter how hard he tries to get her out of his head he just can't do it, he doesn't want to do it.

Walking into the stingy flat he is suddenly met with a strange feeling, like someone has been in his apartment. Shit! Quickly reaching for the gun he keeps on him at all times he slowly walks round the corner to the kitchen. He notices some of his papers have been moved and that's when he sees it. A small white piece of paper no bigger than an envelope laying on his kitchen counter, they had clearly wanted him to find it. His heart pounding in his chest he picked up the note and read...

JD...

Private post box number 362 at the dairy on the corner of Blackmore and Philips

F.

He knew instantly from the handwriting and lone F. at the end who the note was from, Frank. What he wasn't sure about was the post box. Why did he need a post box? He didn't get any mail and if he needed to contact Frank he could just ring him. He made a mental note to take a walk there tomorrow but for now he had work to do. All last week had past without any further details of the operation and he once again slipped the chip into the computer and listened to the days recordings.

"The supplier is having difficult getting the goods. He had to shoot his middle man after they realized he had been ripping them off so now he has to find a new guy. That will put us back about 2 weeks but other than that we are all go"

"Ok. let me know who they new guy is so I can rough him up a little, you know, let him know we don't want to be messed around"

"Sure thing boss"

After ringing Frank that night to relay the information he climbed into bed, exhausted. But no matter how tired he was he had barely been asleep an hour before he was awoken again by the terrible nightmares plaguing his thoughts.

The next morning he woke bright and early to go for a walk to the dairy to find out what this post box was about. He walked into the dairy and was greeted by a friendly old man who he soon learned was the store owner. He inquired about the post box and was told that one had been set up 3 days ago and a letter had been delivered to it. He was handed a key and he thanked the old man. Walking out to the post box he was curious as to why we would be getting a letter. When he put the key in the lock and opened the door he saw a single white envelope laying down in the otherwise empty box. Slowly picking it up he almost stopped breathing when he saw his name written on the front, or more importantly whose hand writing it was. It was McNally's. he tucked the letter into his jacket and practically ran back to his apartment, he wanted to be alone when he opened it - unsure of what exactly was inside.

Pushing open the door he entered the apartment and pulled the letter from his pocket. He sat for a moment on the edge of his bed collecting his thoughts before he tore open the envelope. 3 pages fell out in his lap and he picked them up and started to read. He could barely hear himself with the pounding of his chest.

Sam

It seems that every time I start to write this letter I can't get past the first sentence, so I scrunch it up and throw it in the bin, my bin which is now filled with paper with one sentence printed on it. When I started writing I had all these ideas of what I was going to say but now those thoughts escape me.

I guess I will start with the most important one. I'm not sure when I realized this, whether it was a million small things that led up to it or one moment but I guess what i'm trying to say is Sam, I love you. I know that this is something I should be telling you in person but that is a little hard right now and I need you to know. In case something happens to you, I need you to know, that I love you with all my heart and soul.

When you left after that night we spent together for the first time I didn't want you to go. But I thought that if I was the reason you stayed then you would come to resent me. You said it yourself, UC is your baby. Not that I am blaming you, I just didn't know if that night meant as much to you as it did to me. I haven't been able to forget that night. Every night I fall asleep all I can think about is you. The way you touched me that set my skin on fire. The way you tasted. How that night I fully understood what making love meant. The way you held me in your arms afterwards. Sam, you made me, make me, feel things I have never felt before. You make me feel loved, wanted and alive. Alive. All my life I have felt as though some small part of me was missing and now that I have found that part I can't seem to live without it. You. I realize how incredibly cheesy this is probably sounding right now and I also realize that you may not feel the same way but I couldn't go another day without telling you. So I am telling you now.

With all my love, Andy

It was at this point that he noticed the small waterstains on the page, no doubt made by McNally's tears.

A million thoughts were racing through his mind but one was stuck there. She loves me. She actually loves me.

Why the hell did I leave? Why the hell did I give her a way out? I should of just asked her what that night meant for him, them.

I should of told her I loved her.

He could count on one hand the amount of times he had screwed up this badly with a woman, thrown something away out of sheer stupidity. Even then he would still have 5 fingers left over because he had never loved anyone like he does her, never felt this way about a girl before. He had never had anything that came close to what he has, had with McNally. He wasn't entirely sure where this put them. Yeah he loved her too but would she wait around for another 8 months while he continued with the op? He didn't think it fair to ask her to do that. He was even more confused now than he was before so he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed out some paper and poured his heart out onto the page, just like McNally had done. He owed her that much.

That night was the first night he managed to sleep longer than 3 hours without being woken up by horrible nightmares plaguing his thoughts.

Hope you guys liked it and pleeeeeeeease review :)