Chapter 4

I drown out Spencer going over some obscure fact about pasta and Spain as we make the pasta sauce and focus my attention on Aaron. Glaring at him. When he leaves to refill his cup of water I want to pour a cup of salt in his pasta but I talk myself out of it. That would just be childish…but oh how good it'll make me feel. He catches me staring at him once and gives me this bewildered look, instantly embarrassing me.

When we finish cooking and are eating at the dining room table, I start staring at him again. Everyone's having this engaging conversation about the hot date Derek had last night when the conversation turns to me.

"So what about you, Alex." Derek asks. "Is there a special lady in your life?"

"Uh…I-I'm not really…into girls." I admit. Coming out as gay seems to get easier and easier the more I say it but for some reason it's hard to do in front of these people.

"You mean, you're not into girls or you're not into girl?" Morgan continues to question.

I stare down at the food and try not to look embarrassed. Why does his inquiry embarrass me? I've had guys' unfriend me in the harshest ways after telling them I was gay but for some reason just the thought of being shunned by anyone at this table (excluding Hotch) makes me want to take back my admission.

"I mean," I take a deep breath. "I'm gay."

"Oh well…is there a special fellow in your life?" He asks.

My eyes shoot up in surprise. That was easy. I smile big before leaning back in my chair and trying to look as cool as possible. "Well, y'know, I got a couple of good prospects."

"Alex," Dave warns.

I smile and say, "Okay, so none right now but I'm working on it. The last time I had a guy was two weeks before I joined the bureau. Apparently some people don't like it when you're more into your career than them."

"Uh, yeah," Penelope adds on. "That's usually a deal breaker."

"So," Hotch drones. "You're committed to your work?"

I can hear the spite in his voice if no one else can. "According to you, not as committed as I should be."

"I think you're very committed. Just unfocused,"

"What's there to focus on? You've got a job, you do it. End of discussion."

"Your job requires teamwork, Alex, and it involves your life and that of others. Leave the superhero antics in the comic books."

"Aaron, Alex," David's voice holds that tone of warning and we both shut up.

Penelope changes the conversation to one about a TV show convention that she and Spencer are going to.

The rest of the dinner goes by and I just nurse my hate for Hotch the entire time. Then we wash dishes in an assembly line and Derek cracks jokes about me when I drop one –or two– plates because of my focus on Aaron.

"I always look forward to this every weekend," JJ says as everyone is saying their goodbyes. "I hate when it's over."

"Oh, go enjoy your hubby," Penelope says giving her a hug.

"We'd hate to keep you away from Will any longer than we need to." Dave agrees.

"Yeah, he's probably had his hands full with Henry. See you guys Monday."

Everyone starts leaving but Hotch, which really pisses me off. He follows us to the den and I continue to glare at him. "Why is he still here?" I whisper to Dave.

"Aaron always stays over after dinner."

"Do you have a problem with that, Agent Marco?"

"Do I have a problem with you invading my personal space after suspending me from work, Agent Hotchner? Yes. Yes, I do."

"Is that what all this hostility is about? You're mad because I had to suspend you?"

"You didn't have to, you chose to."

"You disobeyed my orders and put your life and the lives of your teammates in danger and you don't think I had a choice?"

I growl and throw myself on the armrest of the chair Rossi's sitting on while Hotch sits on the sofa across from us.

"You could've given me a warning."

"I didn't think such deliberate disobedience merited a warning."

"Oh, so now you think?"

"Alex," Dave finally speaks up. His heated tone makes me jump in fear. "What did I tell you earlier about respect?"

"But Dave,"

"It's alright Dave. If the boy feels he must lash out to ease his anger, I don't mind." I'm about to spit back something venomous before he says, "Dave, can you give us a minute alone."

"Well, I do have laundry to do." Dave stands to leave and I look at him suddenly feeling not so sure about being alone with Aaron. I don't know why. I mean, he can't do anything to me, especially outside of work…right?

"So, I take it you don't like me very much." Aaron asks pouring himself a glass of hard liquor.

"Well, I haven't really been skipping for joy since you walked in." I retort.

"I've noticed. Drink?" He offers. I shake my head no quickly.

"I shouldn't," No matter how much I want to right now.

"What's wrong? Dave doesn't allow you to drink while grounded?"

I snarl as I know he knows about my discipline just like Dave said he would. "No, I just…have a hard time holding my liquor. I wouldn't have pegged you for a hard liquor guy myself."

"Yes, well, sometimes I need a little bit to drink to deal with certain people."

"If you've got something to say, agent," I growl. "Then say it."

"Alright. You're a disobedient, self-absorbed little brat and if it weren't for Rossi's backing you wouldn't be on our team, or even the FBI for that matter. If you believe otherwise, if you think you deserve to be a part of the BAU because of your skill set, then prove it and stop whining about it like a spoiled child."

I step closer into Aaron's face and snarl, "Say that to my face and I'll knock you into next week."

"You touch me and I'll show you why I hold the FBI Hand-to-Hand Combat win record, you spoiled brat."

I pull back to swing at Hotch when my arm is caught. I look back to see a fuming Dave stopping me from making a huge mistake.

"D-Dave," I sputter out.

He lets go of my arm and points to a nearby corner. "Go calm down, now." He orders.

I look back to Aaron and he takes a sip of his alcohol, staring at me with a taunting look that pisses me off. Instead of testing Dave anymore I head to the corner and listen intently as they talk.

"Please tell me you didn't purposely agitate him." Rossi asks.

"Whether I did or didn't, Dave, this kid should know how to control his temper better. He's an agent after all."

"Aaron…I'm disappointed in you both to be honest. Alex, go to your room and wait for me."

I quickly turn to them with wide fearful eyes. "But Dave…I didn't do anything."

"Alex, it wasn't a request. Go, now."

I glare at Hotch before stomping angrily out of the room to my bedroom.

Just as I always have when in trouble, I go take a shower, put on a pair of boxers, and lay on my bed sulking. It's almost a full hour after I got out of the shower when Rossi comes in.

"Sit up, son." He says coming in. "Let's talk."

"Is Hotch gone?" I ask sitting up and Dave sits beside me.

"No, he's still in the den. But let's talk about what happened between you two."

"Dave, Aaron started that. He…he tried to make me mad so I would attack him."

"Alex, you should know better than to fall for a goad like that. I'm very disappointed. You're an agent of the FBI, more importantly the BAU. Your behavior reflects our department and those of your teammates and superiors. It also reflects those who raised you…including me. I do not condone reckless fighting between teammates, is that understood?"

"Yes sir…but…we didn't really get into a fight." I want to make that point clear because I want Dave to know that I was about to misbehave, I didn't commit to it though.

"Only because I was there to stop you from possibly losing your job," He spits back.

"You-you think Hotch would've kicked me off the team for that?"

"I don't know son but you need to stop leaving things so important to chance."

"I know, Dave. I'm sorry."

"I know you are son but I still have to discipline you for this. I want you to write me a two page essay about what you were about to do and how it could've been avoided."

"Two pages," I whine.

"Do you want to make it three?"

"No, no, two is fine." I flash my brightest grateful smile at him. "Does Hotch have to write too?"

"No…Aaron received a different form of discipline. You can start writing first thing in the morning. Right now I want you to go back to the den and apologize to Aaron for your misbehavior tonight and then come right back to bed."

Seriously. You want me to degrade myself for that jerk. "But Dave,"

"No buts Alex. You're as much to blame for that little fiasco as he is so I want you to go make things right before bed."

When I enter the den, Aaron is lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. He hears me entering and looks up to me with a scowl.

"What do you want?" He growls sitting up. I'm still taken off guard by his anger to answer that.

"What' crawled up your ass," I retort. "Did big bad Aaron Hotchner get scolded?"

His ashen look of embarrassment answers for me. I smile broad at this new golden nugget of information and decide to continue to play on this angle. "You did, didn't you? Let me guess, did he spank you as well? Was the mighty Aaron Hotchner taken down a peg and punished like a toddler."

"Shut up," He barks. "Children should stay in a child's place."

"Ah, ah, ah, Aaron. You better not let Daddy Dave hear you being rude to me or you might end up over his lap again."

"You're one to talk. Everyone on the team knows Dave spanked you after that little fiasco with you at the hospital."

My anger riles up again. I want to knock his block off for bringing that up. I'm still mad at him for suspending me for that little blunder. "Yeah, well, wait until the team hears about this. I wonder how much the others will respect you once they find out how naughty Aaron is disciplined."

"Kid, you have no idea what you're talking about. And if you don't keep your mouth shut, I'll-"

"You'll what? You shouldn't make threats, Aaron. That's how you ended up in this position in the first place, isn't it?"

"Alex," I turn at the sharp tone of Dave and see he isn't the least bit happy. "I send you in here to make amends and you come and start another argument."

"Dave…I didn't start anything. He did."

"You little liar," Aaron snarls. "You came in here with the soul intention of starting another argument with me so I'd take the blame for it, didn't you?"

"What? I don't care about you, idiot. I came in here to apologize to you like Dave told me to."

"Alex, why do I find that hard to believe?" Dave asks shaking his head unbelievingly. I'm crossed now.

I give a low growl and reply, "You always take his side. I feel like a third wheel between you two." I run out of the room past Dave and back to my room. I lock my door and start going through the dresser drawers looking for pants.

"Alex," I hear Dave say outside. "Open the door,"

I don't say anything as I slip on a pair of jeans and grab a black t-shirt out of another drawer. I don't put it on though. I open the door and ignore Rossi as I brush past him and head for the front door.

"Alex, where are you going?" Rossi asks.

"Home," I answer curtly.

"Wait, son, let's sit down and talk about this."

I stop and turn around in anger. "Why should we? It's obvious that Aaron is your favorite. And don't call me son anymore. From now on, I'm Agent Marco and you're just...Agent Rossi, my boss…or my boss's dad."

"Alex," Before Rossi can say anything else I'm out the door. Just my luck it begins to rain as soon as my feet hit the pavement but I don't let it faze me. I stomp angrily, shirtlessly, down the drive way with Ross still on my tail. "Alex, stop and talk to me."

"No. I've got nothing to say to you."

"Then at least let me take you home, son."

I stop and turn back to him glaring. "Why? So you can trap me in a closed and space so I'll have no choice but to talk to you?"

"Alex, we'll drive and you don't have to say a word to me. I just don't want you walking home in this weather."

I try to take a minute to think on it but the relentless beating rain makes my decision easy.

The drive to my place from Rossi's isn't a quiet one. True to his word, Rossi doesn't ask me anything or try to make me talk but that doesn't stop him from talking.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now but I hope you know that I'm sorry for not believing you before. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought-"

"You thought I was a liar and Aaron is just a Saint."

"No, Alex, that's not what I thought but…you've got to see it from where I stand. It did seem like you were intentionally trying to rile Aaron."

"Yeah, whatever."

The car goes silent again. We're quiet the rest of the ride until we make it home. I hop out quickly before Rossi can say anything else. My house is quiet. I haven't been here in a while, a few days, but it seems like forever. I head straight to my room, kick off my shoes, drop my pants, throw off my shirt, and lie brokenly in my bed. My only thoughts are of how much I already miss Dave and how much I hate Aaron as I dive off into a dreamless sleep.

Hey you. Yes you. The one reading this. Review my story or I will be forced to strip naked and cry in my closet while listening to country music. -_- You don't want that on your conscience.