I do not own Faking it. Mtv owns it.
Chapter 4: Shattered
The fight that ensued after Amy's confession was one of the worst moments of Amy's life. She let Karma get everything out of her system and took her verbal lashings in shame. She apologized profusely, but it was no use. Karma felt betrayed and she had every reason to be. When it was all done and the smoke cleared Amy was left to clean up the mess.
At some point, that Amy didn't recall, the photo from Halloween had been broken. The glass was shattered and laying on the floor. Amy vaguely remembered Karma throwing something at her, but she couldn't remember what. The entire fight was a blur of emotions and tears. Amy was left with broken glass, two bowls of rapidly melting ice cream, and a room filled with deafening silence. She was so focused on picking up the glass that she didn't even notice the bedroom door open at first.
She didn't have to look up to know who it was, because there was only one other person in the house. She had no desire to talk to Lauren, but she didn't speak up to tell her to leave. Lauren didn't say a word until she was standing right behind Amy.
"Here, take one of these," Lauren said as she held out a red pill bottle.
"What is it?" Amy asked.
"It's antidepressants," Lauren replied.
"Lauren, I can't take one of your...oh my god. Are those..."
"Yeah, these are the infamous pills and you probably need them more than me right now," Lauren said.
"Tommy broke up with you for taking antidepressants?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, in his words he didn't want to date a crazy chick," Lauren replied and then turned her face away from Amy for a moment.
"Oh Lauren," Amy said.
"Don't look at me with that look. I hate it. Besides you're the one who needs some cheering up right now," Lauren said and then shook the bottle at Amy.
"I'm not going to take one. I deserve to feel miserable," Amy said and then went back to picking up the glass.
"Oh stop it! I heard that fight and Karma was out of line," Lauren said.
"No she wasn't. I ruined everything and now I don't know what to do," Amy said and then broke into sobs.
Lauren started to make a move and then stopped. After a moment she finally gave in and wrapped her arms around Amy. Amy wasn't sure what to think at first, because she never expected a hug from Lauren, but after a few seconds she heard Lauren speak.
"Just let it all out," Lauren whispered.
"What do I do? I love her so much it hurts," Amy cried.
"I know, but you have to give it time. It will be..."
"Don't tell me it will be okay!" Amy cried.
"You're right; I don't know if it will be okay, but I know you can make it through this," Lauren said.
"Why are you helping me?" Amy asked.
"Believe it or not I don't hate you. I wanted to, but dammit you've grown on me. Don't tell anyone that though or I'll kill you," Lauren replied.
"Your secret is safe with me," Amy said and almost cracked a smile.
"There you go. I saw that almost smile," Lauren said.
"You know you're not half bad when you want to be. What's with the mean girl act?" Amy asked.
"Who said it was an act?" Lauren asked in return.
"Please, it's too late to take it back now. I've seen the real you," Amy replied.
"I don't know. I just don't like being around most people, so I guess I kind of lash out at them," Lauren said.
"Can I ask you a personal question?" Amy asked.
"You want to know why I take the pills?" Lauren replied.
"Yeah."
Lauren sat down next to Amy after making sure there was no glass on the floor. She took a few seconds to answer, but Amy was willing to give her time.
"When I left Dallas I didn't just leave my old friends behind. I left everything from my childhood behind. I didn't want to go, but I knew Daddy needed a new start," Lauren said.
She began to cry and Amy reached out and gently rubbed her arm.
"I grew up there. I met most of my friends there...and I lost my Mom there," Lauren continued.
"I'm so sorry," Amy replied.
"She died a few years ago from brain cancer. She's buried there, so I didn't want to leave," Lauren said.
Lauren then curled up into a ball and Amy wrapped her arms around her and let her cry for awhile. Amy was surprised to hear Lauren open up to her in that way, but she had to admit she was glad that she did. She was finally seeing Lauren in a new light.
"That's why I've grown attached to your Mom. I needed someone like her in my life again," Lauren said after awhile.
"I understand and I'm so sorry for how I acted," Amy replied.
Lauren continued to cry, so Amy held her for a little while longer. While they were sitting there Amy spotted the pill bottle on the floor and picked it up before handing it to Lauren.
"You need these more than I do," Amy said.
"Are you sure?" Lauren asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure and Tommy is an idiot. You're not crazy," Amy said.
"Thank you," Lauren replied.
"You're welcome."
Amy had intended to call Shane after the fight happened, but her talk with Lauren put it out of her mind. Once the room had been cleaned up she ended up laying down for what would be a night full of fitful sleep. By the time she reached school the next day she was a mess, both physically and mentally. She was practically sleepwalking through the courtyard, so she didn't quite catch what the first two people who passed her said. She did find it odd that they seemed mad for some reason. She took a few more steps before someone else walked up and she heard what she said loud and clear.
"Bitch," the girl said.
"Excuse me?" Amy asked, but the girl kept walking. "That was odd," Amy added before she resumed walking.
"How could you?" the next person said.
"How could I what?" Amy asked, but once again she was met with silence.
Amy finally found Shane standing by a tree and hurried over to ask him what was going on with everyone.
"Shane, the strangest thing is happening," Amy said.
"People are pissed at you?" Shane asked.
"Yeah, but what did I do?" Amy replied.
"Amy, I hate to tell you this, but there's a rumor going around that Karma broke up with you because you cheated on her," Shane said.
"What!?"
"It gets worse," Shane added.
"How much worse?" Amy asked.
"Apparently Karma is the one who started the rumor," Shane said.
Amy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Karma was angry, but why would she drag their dirty laundry out into the open that way? Amy felt like breaking into tears again, but she was determined not to let the already angry mob see her weakened in that way.
"I'm guessing you told her the truth huh?" Shane asked.
"Yeah I did and we had a horrible fight," Amy replied.
"I would avoid Liam today if I were you," Shane said.
"What, why?" Amy asked.
"He figured out that you told Karma the truth and he's kinda pissed," Shane said.
"What did he expect me to do? I couldn't keep that from Karma forever. It was driving me crazy!" Amy cried.
"Are you okay?" Shane asked.
"No, I'm not okay at all. My whole world is falling apart," Amy said and a tear leaked from her eye not matter how hard she tried to stop it.
Shane pulled her into a hug, but unfortunately this just caused her to cry even harder.
"I'll tell people to back off from you. You don't deserve this," Shane whispered.
"Yes I do," Amy replied.
"Stop that! We all make mistakes, but frankly I think Karma is going too far," Shane said.
As Shane said this Amy spotted Karma walking a few yards away. People were swarming up to her and offering their condolences. It was the exact opposite of what Amy was getting. She even saw someone hand Karma a muffin. Amy knew she should leave things alone, but she had to get answers from Karma, so she broke away from Shane and stormed over to her. When Karma saw Amy she gave her a stern glare, but it didn't deter Amy.
"Why are you telling people I cheated on you?" Amy asked.
"Why not? It's basically what you did," Karma replied.
"You don't have to tell everyone about it," Amy cried.
"They wanted to know why we broke up, so I told them," Karma said and then started to walk away.
"Karma please stop. I don't want things to be like this between us. Please forgive me," Amy pleaded.
Karma didn't speak or turn around. She kept walking and left Amy standing on the spot. The rest of the day was a blur to Amy. She couldn't focus in classes, especially the ones she shared with Karma. She would occasionally look over and catch Karma with a look of deep sadness on her face and it only made her feel worse. When she wasn't looking she swore she could feel Karma looking at her, but she didn't dare turn around to make sure it was true.
As the day wound on the number of people being rude to Amy lessened and she was sure she had Shane to thank for it. After the next to last period she ran into Oliver in the hallways and was sure he had heard all the rumblings. Oliver stopped in front of her and looked ready to say something, but Amy cut him off before he could speak.
"What? Are you going to call me a bitch?" Amy asked.
"No, of course not. I was going to ask if you were okay," Oliver said.
"I'm so far from okay that it's not even funny," Amy replied.
"Here, come with me," Oliver said and then gently took her by the arm.
"Where are we going?" Amy asked.
"Away from all of this," Oliver said as he nodded towards a couple of girls who were staring angrily at Amy.
He led Amy in silence to the main school building. Amy wasn't sure where he was taking her, but she trusted him. He then made his way to the hallway that led to the backstage area for the theatre department.
"Are we allowed back here?" Amy asked.
"I'm friends with a lot of the theatre people and they let me hang out back here all the time," Oliver replied.
He then led her to the prop room, which was filled with set pieces and props from various plays the school had put on over the school year. Amy had to admit it was a pretty cool sight. She took a moment to look around at all the objects in the room and Oliver let her do so in silence.
"Pretty cool huh?" he asked after a minute or so.
"Yeah, it is. Why did you bring me here?" Amy asked.
"I figured you wanted to get away from all the nonsense. I come here to think sometimes," Oliver said.
"Thank you," Amy replied.
"You're welcome and don't worry, I won't judge you," Oliver said.
"About all the rumors you're hearing, everyone's got it wrong," Amy replied.
"What happened? If you don't mind me asking," Oliver said.
"I don't even know where to begin with that question," Amy replied.
"Why not start from the beginning?" Oliver asked.
"Okay, I will. Oliver I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise to keep it a secret," Amy said.
"Sure, I promise," Oliver replied.
"After I tell you this you probably won't look at me the same, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest," Amy said.
"It's okay; like I said, I won't judge," Oliver replied.
"Karma and I were faking being lesbians, to start with at least. After awhile I actually started falling in love with her. It scared me at first, but then I realized she was everything I ever wanted," Amy said.
Oliver didn't look upset or judgmental and this made Amy feel better, so she continued.
"I kept this from her while she pined after Liam Booker and I was so jealous. Karma just wanted to be popular so that Liam would notice her and I went along with it even though it was killing me," Amy said and the tears started to flow.
Oliver walked over and gently wiped away a tear and Amy couldn't help but smile at him.
"I finally told her how I felt and she shot me down and then told me that she slept with Liam. I was so upset that I started drinking and next thing I knew I saw Liam. He had just found out that Karma and I were faking it and he was pissed off and drunk. So we made a huge mistake and almost had sex, but I stopped when I realized it was so wrong," Amy continued.
"Karma found out didn't she?" Oliver asked.
"Yeah, but the worst part is we had just started dating for real the same day I told her. She finally decided to give it a chance, but I was feeling so guilty that I told her the truth," Amy said.
"Wow, that sucks," Oliver replied.
"I love her so much and I ruined everything," Amy cried.
"She'll come around; just give it time," Oliver said.
"Thank you Oliver," Amy said and then hugged him.
"You're welcome," he said. "Can I ask a question though?"
"Sure."
"Why did you kiss me?" Oliver asked.
"I was upset with Karma and confused. I needed to know if I was really gay or not," Amy replied.
"When you kissed me, did you feel anything?" Oliver asked.
"No, I'm sorry Oliver. I know that sounds horrible," Amy replied.
"It's okay. I just had to know," Oliver said, but Amy noticed that he was avoiding making eye contact.
Amy felt bad for him, so she walked over and kissed him on the forehead.
"I'm gay Oliver, but if I wasn't I would totally give you a chance. You're a sweet guy and any girl would be lucky to have you, but I'm just not that girl," Amy said.
"I know and thank you," Oliver replied.
"You're welcome," Amy said.