Authors Note: Ok I know you've all been waiting for Merlin's. Well here's the first one. Being Alive by Steven Sondheim. I am changing the lyrics again here. Any Freylin lovers will love this. And this is the first bit of revealing in this one. I OWN NOTHING!
4. What You Get
How the knights got onto the subject of love around their campfire was a mystery. Why Gwaine was saying it was a waste of time was not.
"Come on! Love is useless! It's a waste of time, and seriously what do you get when you fall in love? What do you get?" Merlin looked a bit affronted. That was when the music started.
"What do you get?! What do you get?" He smiled wistfully.
"Someone to hold you to close. Someone to hurt you too deep. Someone to sit in your chair, to ruin your sleep." His smile widened but it held all the sadness in the world. Arthur had never seen that look on someone so young. Whenever he asked about his mother his father would wear that look but no one younger had ever. Those blue eyes of his looked like there was a lifetime of loss behind them. He nodded.
"That's true, from what I've heard."
"But there's more than that. Do you think that's all it is? Because it's not. There's so much more than that." Gwaine managed to get his question in first.
" But Merlin, you've never had that. I mean you're just as alone as me and Lance. And you've actually got reasons for not being with someone, but come to think of it you haven't got one reason to be alone."
"But I do. Someone needed me too much. Somebody knew me too well. Somebody pulled me up short and put me through hell. But she gave me support, for being alive. She made me alive." Arthur looked at him shocked.
"She?" Merlin nodded, tears glistening in his eyes.
"Someone I had to let in. Someone whose feelings I spared. Someone who like it or not, she got me to share, a little a lot." Leon raised an eyebrow.
"She got you to open up!? She's a miracle worker."
"Someone to crowd me with love. Someone to force me to care. Someone to make me come through, I'd always be there as frightened as you of being alive, being alive." Merlin looked on the verge of revealing something big. His eyes were terrified and before any of them could say anything he ran away from the camp and the fire out into the woods. Arthur bolted after him. He caught up to him at the edge of a lake. But Merlin didn't notice him. The other knights were not far behind him. All paused with him when the music continued.
"You made me confused, mocked me with praise. Let me be used. You varied my days. But alone is alone not alive. I'll always be there as frightened as you, you help me survive, being alive." The music ended and the lake began to glow. Arthur made to lunge forward, pull Merlin out of the way, save him from the magic that would rise and steal him away like all the others. Lancelot stopped him.
"Lancelot what!" He shushed him and pointed at the lake which was glowing brighter.