A/N: It's been too long, I know. I usually like to update every Sunday but I've been far too distracted to write. This chapter is a little shorter than my usual updates but I wanted to leave the story where I did with this chapter. Hopefully it's still worth the wait. Thank you to all the lovely readers who are following this story and who have taken the time to leave a review or comment. If you have a moment after this chapter it would really make me smile if you left your thoughts in a review or comment or if you feel so inclined you can send me a message on Tumblr (shesamarshmallow).
Emily is wincing as Amy pulls on her hair. She was content to wait for Cynthia Rose to finish with the others girls but Amy insisted on doing her hair to save time. She rambled on about killing two birds with one stone and a few other metaphors Emily didn't understand until she caved. She finds herself surprised as she stands in front of the mirror, her hair doesn't look totally awful.
"Told you I could braid Legacy. I learned when I spent a month in an underground prison in Queensland," Amy informs her.
Emily raises her eyebrow at the other Bella and breathes a sigh of relief as Chloe walks into the room. She's not really interested in continuing this conversation and she's sure she doesn't want to know what Amy was in jail for.
"Hey Em," Chloe greets her, "looking good."
"Amy did my hair for me," she informs her.
The look of pride on Amy's face as she says it is almost worth the two hours she just spent listening to Amy sing along to "You're the Voice" on repeat. She had threatened to spray Emily with the pepper spray she keeps in her bra if she changed the song.
"You ready for the performance?" Chloe asks.
"Well, it's just a bunch of old fogies but I'm ready to bring the Fat Amy Power."
Chloe laughs, Emily is pretty sure she was actually asking her but Amy's answer will suffice.
Emily is nervous as she steps out onto the stage with the other Bellas. Her stomach doesn't settle as they launch into "Promises." She sings back up nervously as she watches everyone do their thing.
Everything seems to be going pretty well and Emily starts to feel less nervous but then suddenly all hell breaks loose. Emily sees Flo roll past her in a hula-hoop and she is pretty sure that Cynthia Rose is on fire. Amy screams and as quick as it began the performance is over.
The Bellas bicker all the way back to their house. Amy tries to blame the whole mess on her and she has no idea why since she didn't really do anything. Cynthia Rose sits in the corner pissed off about her singed hair and everything is a total mess. Emily really wants to cry but now is not the time.
Chloe is totally losing it in the corner of the bus. Emily can tell she's really upset, and well she can't really blame her. They couldn't even manage to do a small gig for a crowd of geriatrics without totally screwing it up. Emily is confident that Das Sound Machine has only ever set one of their teammates on fire on purpose. Emily is tempted to get up and go give Chloe a hug because she can tell she could use one, but she's in the middle of her rant. All Emily hears is the world retreat come out of Chloe's mouth and she knows where they're headed.
Aubrey welcomes them to, "the Lodge of the Fallen Leaves," and Emily hears Beca snort loudly.
"Naturally you own a corporate retreat," Beca greets the former captain of the Bellas after the current Bellas surround her in a group hug.
Emily has been here before. She and Chloe stayed here a few years ago when Aubrey first opened the place. Back then Aubrey let her use the water slide all day long and taught her how to do the ropes course, it didn't seem like that was going to be the case today.
Emily recoils slightly as Aubrey begins to chastise them for tarnishing the Bella legacy. She's relieved when Aubrey seems to focus on Beca and Amy.
Aubrey has prepared a grueling day for them but most of the activities are pretty fun. She enjoys working with her fellow Bellas and they all look pretty funny covered in mud. The day is going great until a fight breaks out between Beca and Chloe.
Emily listens as Beca shouts. She's criticizing Chloe for being afraid and staying at Barden for 7 years. She wants to jump in and defend her but it's probably better if she just stays quiet.
Things go from bad to worse as Beca turns to leave. Emily expects Chloe to run after her. She's used to Chloe chasing after Beca but she doesn't follow her. Chloe only turns back to her a few seconds later when Beca screams as she gets caught up in a bear trap.
Chloe continues on yelling at her. Emily feels bad, Beca's cries for help sound genuine. She apologizes to them for earlier and the Bellas are all kind of at a loss as to how they can free her from the trap. Emily isn't the only who is stunned to see Lilly cutting her down when she looks up. She makes a mental note to ask her how she did that later. Right now, she's focused on Beca.
Beca whines in pain on the ground until Chloe walks over and sticks out her hand. Emily watches as Chloe helps her fellow Bella up and wraps her arm around her. Emily follows behind Chloe as she leads Beca towards the dining hall for dinner.
The food at the Lodge of the Fallen Leaves certainly leaves something to be desired. Emily laughs loudly as Stacie takes the opportunity for the pun and runs with it. She stirs her mashed potatoes around with her fork as she tries to figure out what exactly the meat next to them is supposed to be. She wonders how Aubrey gets corporate entities to pay for this sludge. Perhaps the food is better when it isn't free.
"What's wrong babe?" Chloe asks as she takes the seat next to Emily and wraps her arm around the young girl's shoulders.
Emily is silent. She's not sure she should say what she's thinking out loud. She's upset and it isn't just about the terrible meal in front of her.
"You can tell me," Chloe prods, giving her a squeeze.
Emily sighs, "I didn't like seeing you and Beca fight."
"Because we're Bhloe?" Chloe mimics Amy's Australian accent as she says it.
"Because Beca has been there for me, for us for the last 4 years and I'm afraid of what happens if she leaves. She makes you happy Chloe, like seriously happy. You've always been a bubbly person but it's like a whole other level when you're with Beca."
Chloe blushes.
"Can we talk about this later?" she whispers in Emily's ear.
"Why? Because you're afraid that I'm right and that if Beca leaves you lose one of the most important people in your life. I'm not saying that because she's one of your best friends or the Captain of the Bellas either."
Emily rarely gets upset like this and she can see the flash of worry in Chloe's eyes. It is out of character for her to yell at Chloe but she's angry and she can't help it.
"Em, let's go outside."
Emily follows Chloe outside without protest. No sense causing a scene and disrupting everyone's dinner. She sees Chloe mouth to Beca that everything is okay and she doesn't need her to follow them.
Chloe takes a seat on a rock outside the dining hall. Emily doesn't follow suit. She stands and stares, arms crossed.
"Emily, everything is going to be fine. Beca isn't leaving and we are going to figure this out and win at Worlds. I'm sorry if you're on edge after this afternoon. I didn't mean to get carried away and yell at Beca like that. I know she means a lot to you."
Emily pretty much ignores everything Chloe just said. She's got a one-track mind and she still has something she wants to get off her chest.
"Chloe I have known you my entire life and I have never seen you not take a chance on something, except for with Beca."
She notices as Chloe's jaw falls slightly agape.
"I…I umm…"
Emily has rarely seen Chloe at a loss for words.
"You love her and you are so afraid of losing her as a friend that you won't even tell her. She deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know if someone loved you?"
Chloe takes a deep breath before responding. She isn't even quite sure what to say.
"She loves Jesse," she says simply.
Emily has heard this song and dance before. She doesn't buy it.
"What if she's only with Jesse because she thinks you're not interested?"
"What if she actually loves him?" Chloe fires back.
Emily takes a seat on the rock next to Chloe and puts her arm around her shoulder.
"Is that what you're afraid of Chloe, that Beca doesn't love you back?"
Chloe wipes away the single tear rolling down her cheek with her shirt. This isn't how she envisioned their retreat at the Lodge of the Fallen Leaves. The Bellas were supposed to be discovering their sound; she wasn't supposed to be confessing her love for Beca. She has pined over the other woman enough over the last four years; she doesn't need this right now. She has Worlds to focus on; they have Worlds to focus on. Her complicated relationship with Beca should be the last thing on her mind, but like every other day it's the only thing she can think of.
"I am so afraid that everything is in my head Emily. That I have imagined every touch, every laugh, every almost kiss. I'm afraid that I don't mean as much to Beca as she means to me. I'm afraid that once she graduates I will just be a college memory for her. I want to be more than that but I am so afraid that I'm not that I don't say anything."
Emily smiles over at her. Chloe hasn't been this honest about her feelings for Beca in a while. It has been Bellas this, or Bellas that for a long time. She would prattle on about the ICCAs until they got suspended, and then the World Championships when they got another chance.
Emily takes Chloe's hand in hers and entwines their fingers. They need to get back to the other Bellas before they start getting nosy but they can sit out here for a few more minutes.
"If it means anything," Emily starts after a few minutes of silence, "I think she loves you too. You don't look at your friends the way Beca looks at you."
Chloe just smiles, Emily isn't sure she that she believes her but it was worth a shot.
Later that night they're sitting around a campfire. Emily smiles as she looks around at the other Bellas. She never went to summer camp as a kid so this is kind of the next best thing.
She laughs as Amy regales them with a story about camping in Australia. Emily isn't the only person who is mildly horrified as Amy tells them about the gigantic deadly spiders her father once killed with a broom. She's very afraid of Australia in this moment but at least this time she is pretty sure Amy's story actually happened.
They go around the circle and each Bella in turn talks about their fears and plans for the future, after Barden. Emily is just starting out at Barden so the future seems so far away. She listens as Beca tells them she's afraid that she's not really cut out to be a music producer even though that's been her only dream since she was 12.
Emily is caught off guard when Beca admits that she wishes she could do what she does.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, I mean you've got chops as a writer. Would you like, maybe want to collaborate with me some time?"
"Yes!" Emily practically shouts.
She smiles as Beca wraps her in a tight hug. She is so enamored by Beca's talent; working with her is going to be a real treat. Chloe smiles at them from across the campfire.
When they reach Chloe she admits what Emily has known for years, she's afraid. This is everything she has known for years. Emily gives her a wink as she resolves to finally graduate this year. Emily noticed a Russian Lit paper on the table at home last week with an A+ scrawled on it in red ink. She knew this was coming but she's glad to hear Chloe finally say it.
When Chloe starts to sing she recognizes the song immediately. Chloe played it on repeat for weeks on end at one point. Emily didn't know at first why she liked it so much but eventually Chloe told her it was Beca's audition song. All of the other girls join in and Emily feels all warm and fuzzy inside. She's been waiting for tonight, for the moment where she really and truly feels like a Barden Bella. She is not her mother's daughter, she is not little Emily who tags along with Chloe, she is Emily Junk and she is a Barden Bella tonight.
As they walk from the campfire site back to their tent Emily notices Chloe's hand. Her arm is dangling at her side, her fingertips so close to Beca's they're almost touching. She wants to hold her hand but she's afraid to and Emily has never known Chloe to be afraid of physical touch. This is the girl who has admitted to getting close enough to Beca's lips to make out on the night they first met. Something is different and Emily doesn't know if it's a good thing or not. If Chloe is nervous maybe she plans on confessing her feelings to Beca, at least that's what Emily hopes.
She gets as comfortable as she possibly can in her sleeping bag on the cold, hard ground. As Emily drifts off to sleep she hears Chloe whispering.
"Beca, are you awake?"