Chapter 4- My heart is a grenade, you pull the pin and say-

The game was winding to end, the Patriots down 19-3. Cas was not excited about having to deal with the angry Pain crew next week. Ray and Meg had slipped away 15 minutes prior followed by a very giggly Jo and Ash.

"I'm gonna use the restroom, I'll be right back." Cas announced, not to anyone in particular. As he was walking back he spotted Meg, crying behind the bleachers. "Ah shit, what did you do Ray?"

"Hey Meg, what's up?"

"Oh god another fucking Novak, you fucking fuckers, fucking Novaks!" Meg was straight up plastered. Probably on more than booze by the looks of her pupils.

"Meg I don't know why you do this to yourself. You know he's leaving in a few days." Castiel sighed.

"WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME!?" Meg shrieked through violent sobs. It would have been comical if Castiel didn't know how easy she could go from on top of the world to lower than low.

"Have you been taking your meds Meg?" She slapped him but then she began to sob again almost instantly.

"Oh *inhale* my *inhale* god *inhale* I'm *inhale *so *inhale* sorry!" she choked out between sobs.

"I'm gonna take that as a no." She hadn't hit that hard, her movements were sluggish.

"What happened Meg?" She tried to compose herself a little bit.

"I told him I missed him and that I wanted him and please don't ever leave me again, my usual pathetic stick." She wiped tears from under her eyes.

"And in the middle of us getting hot and heavy he just stopped and said I can't do this anymore and stormed off." She had begun crying again.

"Meg-" Cas rubbed his eyes, exhausted at having to have this conversation again.

"Tell me Cassy, what is so bad about me? Why do neither of you want me?" This question was more pointed, not accusatory, just a question.

"Meg… Ray wants nothing more in this world than you. But he wants you, you. Not drugged up, sluggish, drunk, high, horny beyond what is natural you." Castiel tried to be as kind as possible but he was getting irritated.

"And what about you? Is it cause you know I only want you because you remind me of him?" Meg asked, quietly, crying again.

"Well did know that but that's not exactly why. You're not exactly my type….." Castiels sentenced trailed off.

"What the fuck does that mean? You don't like brunettes? You don't like heavier girls?" Cas was a little taken a back that Meg thought she was heavy but Jo and the Rubies were twigs and girls have fucked up images of themselves.

"What? No meg, listen to me, you not my type." He drug out the world type.

"Oh, OH.!" Megs chocolate eyes widened in surprise and then she smiled a manic grin.

"CASSY! BABY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I WOULD HAVE LAID OFF AGES AGO!" She wrapped him in a bone crushing hug.

"Well Meg, I'm just figuring things out myself." He blushed sheepishly.

"Oh my god I should have known! Oh my god does Jo know? Anna? Gabe? Ash?"

"Jo guessed but it was before I had really figured out what was going on but yeah I guess she knows and ash too BUT NONE OF MY FAMILY KNOWS AND THEY WONT EITHER!" He said the last part very firmly to Meg.

"Yeah, Cas, I know, believe me." She had calmed down a bit and now looked sad again.

"Raphael…." Her thought trailed off as her eye welled with tears again.

"Why did he leave me when things were getting bad again…."

"Have you guys ever actually talked about what happened?" Cas demanded.

"Well, not exactly….."

"Try that. I know Raphael has some things he would love to tell you between sex and googly eyes."

"Why don't you just tell me Cassy?" she pleaded.

"Not my place Meg." Castiel ended the conversation and headed back up the bleachers as Meg pulled out her phone, no doubt to call Ray. Only Dean, Gabe, Sam, Brunette Ruby and Sam were left. Blonde Ruby had left with a male friend of hers prior to Castiels return. Some guy named Eric Kripke.

"Hey cas can I ask you a favor?" Dean asked Castiel quietly.

"Uh yeah sure Dean, what's up?"

"Well Sammy wants to take the Impala and have some sexy times with Ru so can I bum a ride home?"

"Oh yeah of course Dean. Lucy's long gone by now so we have the open seat."

"Thanks Man. Here Sammy." Sam was barely able to grab the keys and stand up the way Ruby had herself wrapped around him. They were gone in less than a minute.

"He really likes her, I can tell." Dean smiled warmly. Castiel thought he might just melt away, right there. Melt into a big puddle of gay Castiel goo. (BUUUUUZZZZZZ) The finally buzzer rang out loudly.

"Well, we officially suck. Badly." Anna stated matter of factly. Everyone's buzz was wearing off and then they were just tired and cold. Anna, Gabe, Dean and Castiel started walking stiffly back towards the Avenger.

"Think Ray's off with Meg?" Gabe asked Anna.

"Yeah he texted me and said they were at Stallion Park and he might need a ride later."

"They?" Castiel asked.

"Yep. He said they were finally talking. Not sure what he meant but whatever." Castiel smiled to himself.