Chapter 4:
Callum:

By the time I got to the beach the tears finally started and they wouldn't stop. I sat down on the sand, my bag chucked beside me, and hugged my knees. I was still shaking but now it was even worse because of my tears. So many times it felt like my family was falling apart but we were holding on to a tiny thread. Now that thread had broken. The family…my family had been completely destroyed and it was all because of me. Lynny was dead, that was the worst part. I could probably deal with Mum and Jude hating me if Lynny was still here, her death was too much. The family had been torn apart by hate. Lynny hated life. I hated myself. Mum and Jude hated me, they probably hated Dad for sticking up for me as well.

'Callum?' I heard Sephy's worried-sick voice come from behind me but I didn't move. By this point I had my head buried in my knees making myself as small as possible. I felt so small. I was so unimportant yet I had done so much damage. I felt rather than saw Sephy sit down beside me 'Callum' Her voice was so soft, pleading to understand. I didn't deserve her being so nice. 'What's wrong?' I still didn't move. I couldn't speak, I was crying too much. 'Callum please, at least look at me'

Slowly I did as she asked and lifted my head and turned to her. She looked as worried as she sounded. 'Lynny' I managed to choked out through tears.

Sephy didn't say anything, she didn't need to, what she did next said more. She put her arms around me and let me cry into her. I wanted to pull away and tell her I was practically a killer, that I didn't deserve her sympathy, but I didn't. I needed someone. I needed her, so I just stayed there and let her hold me as I cried. Time seemed to stand still while I was there. I don't know how long we stayed there, but it must've been ages. I rarely cried and then I couldn't stop. Sephy didn't move the whole time, she just stayed here, like a mother would with their child.

My tears eventually stopped. It was as if I had cried myself dry. I had just about stopped shaking as well. I looked up at Sephy who was still looking at me gently, still so obviously worried. 'What happened to Lynette?'

'S-she killed herself' I whispered. 'She walked in front of a b-bus'

'Oh Callum' Sephy tried to keep the horror out of her voice, and still sounded gentle. 'I'm so sorry'

'It was my fault' I said. I sh- I should've stopped her. I was there, I should've do-done something but I just stood there a-and did nothing. And she…Sephy, Lynny's dead'

'Callum listen to me, your sister's death is not your fault' Sephy told me. 'It was an terrible accident, no one was to blame.'

She was so wrong, so so wrong. Loads of people were to blame and mainly me. Nothing Dad and Sephy said would change that. Nothing would stop the image of the bus hitting her from going around and around in my head. Nothing could get he look on Lynny's face as she said 'I'm sorry, Callum' out of my mind.

'Callum, you have to believe me' Sephy repeated.

'Try telling my Mum that' I said bitterly.

'I'm not trying to tell your Mum anything Callum, I'm trying to tell you' said Sephy. 'You weren't to blame. You weren't' She could've repeated it a hundred times but it wouldn't make it true.

I hadn't wanted it to happen, but it was still my fault. I had wanted to save her but I didn't. Wanting to help would never be enough because the bus still hit her. I didn't mean for it to. I tried to stop her. I tried to. I really tried to.

'I know you did' said Sephy and for the second time today I found I had been talking aloud without realising.

'How?' I asked and Sephy looked at me blankly. 'How do you know I tried? You weren't there'

'I know you. I know how close you were to Lynette. I know you would never have just let her die. You loved her too much' replied Sephy. She continued before I had the chance to say anything back. 'You were there. You were trying to stop her. Callum, you aren't to blame, you're less to blame than other people'

'Mum blames me. Jude blames me.' I said. 'You and Dad are the only people who don't blame me.'

'Me and your Dad are right' Sephy told me. 'I bet even if you told me exactly what happened I would still agree with your Dad'

I swallowed as tears fell down my face again. 'She went out alone. She hadn't been out alone for three years, since Jed' I knew Sephy didn't know about Jed but she knew Lynette was…distant to say the least. 'She went out after smiling at me. The saddest, loneliest smile I had ever seen. Sephy, she looked so lost. So so lost' I stopped explaining and said. 'Those bastards. It's their fault. You were right, Sephy, it wasn't my fault. It was their fault.' My voice was angrier than ever before. I was angrier than I had ever been before. The look on Sephy's face told me she didn't know who I was talking about. 'Jed was killed. Lynette's boyfriend was a Cross, three years ago, and he was killed. Murdered in cold blood by a group of Noughts, Lynny was badly injured as well. And after that she lost it. She completely went into herself. In the end it was that that killed her. It's their fault. All their fucking fault. Those bastards as good as murdered her.' I jumped up, my sudden movement causing Sephy to flinch back. She looked scared by how angry I was. She stood up with me, and tried to slip her hand into mine. I knew what she was trying to do but I wouldn't let her. Only her and Lynny could calm me down by just holding my hands, but now I didn't want to calm down. I wanted to revenge.

'Callum' Sephy looked at me. 'I know you're angry and upset, but you need to calm down.'

'NO' I shouted at Sephy. The volume as well as the anger in it caused Sephy to take a step back. 'I won't calm down! They killed my sister! They have to pay' I turned t walk away.

Sephy wouldn't be put off by my anger. I had only walked a couple of steps when she said; 'No, Callum. Hurting them won't bring Lynny back' She said. 'It won't make you feel any better. It'll just make you feel even worse'

I turned back to face her. My face for of defeat and loss. She was right. Nothing I could do would bring Lynny back, that was the sad truth.

A/N: THIS STORY IS WRITING ITSELF! I SWEAR I HAVE LOST ALL CONTROL!