4 [Washington D.C.]

Natasha noticed James was bored when he began to flip through her books a week or so earlier. She had shelves of them around the apartment, and he'd never taken much of an interest until now.

"What are you reading?" Natasha asked when James sat down on the couch with one of her books in hand.

"Dunno," he said. "Just grabbed something." He looked up at her, those pretty brown eyes. "You mind?"

"Of course not," she said and she got up and joined him on the other couch, scooting into him and leaning up against him. "But you've never liked to read before." James shrugged.

"We've been to the theatre," he said. "And we go to dinner sometimes. And we do things with Steve. But…," he frowned. "We've pretty much done everything we can do around here." He looked back down at the book. It was a novel, a mystery story. He smiled a little and laughed and Natasha smiled with him. "I'm trying to find something new, I guess."

Later that day, at Steve's apartment across the street, Natasha bounced ideas back and forth.

"What about a day trip?" She said to him. "Find something he'd like doing, take the day off."

"You could do more than that," Steve suggested. "Go for few days, make a whole vacation out of it." Natasha pursed her lips as she considered it. It sounded nice, sure, but she thought it could very quickly go sour.

"James is comfortable here," she said anxiously. "He's really, really starting to get better."

"Yeah?" Steve agreed. "And?" He leaned across the table towards her, a pen in his ink-stained hands. He was doodling stars on a napkin, stars and tall buildings and other shapes Natasha couldn't quite make out. She watched his hands as they talked and imagined James seeing those tall buildings, in real life. Would they make him happy?

"And I don't want to take him out of his comfort zone," Natasha said. As she spoke, her voice became quieter and quieter. James was in the next room. She didn't want him to hear. "I don't want it to become too much for him." She knew what James would say. Don't treat me like glass. I'm no porcelain doll. I can do it.

"So make a back-up plan," Steve replied, staring down at his napkin. He was starting to draw her face. She recognized her own nose and chin, even upside down from the other side of the table.

"It's not just that," Natasha said and she shifted a little and leaned forward further, waiting until Steve glanced up at her and she caught his eye and held him there.

"What," Steve said.

"Would you be okay if we left for that long?" Natasha asked, concerned. Steve looked away, back down at his napkin and she watched him bore a hole into the corner with the tip of his ballpoint pen. She frowned. He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, she cut him off. "I swear, Steve Rogers, if you try to tell me you're fine-"

"That's not what I was gonna say," Steve said. He looked away and rubbed the back of his hair with one hand. "I was gonna say I can manage." He glanced at her. "Besides, you wouldn't be gone forever, and we have cell phones. I could manage."

"Steve," Natasha said and Steve looked at her, his face nearly determined.

"Tasha," he said. "I'm serious. If you and Bucky need time, I understand. Take a vacation, don't worry about me."

"I don't need time," Natasha said automatically and Steve looked back down, smirking.

"Uh huh," he said. "Sure. Like you're not both going stir-crazy." Natasha let out a breath and put her head into her hands. He may have been right, but regardless… Natasha's memories of Steve's too-recent suicide attempts were vivid. She didn't want to leave him. She swallowed and began to shake her head.

"If you try anything while we're gone, Rogers," she said. "If you try anything at all."

"What's going on?" James said and Natasha looked up and there he was in the room, his hands in his pockets, standing over them by the table with a concerned look on his face. "Who's going anywhere?" Natasha considered lying, so James didn't get excited. If it would be too risky to go, she didn't want him to have any high hopes. But James hated her lying, and a trip, well… It did sound nice. She'd like to see something other than the inside of her own four walls for once.

"I thought you'd like to get out of the house," she admitted. "I was thinking maybe a day trip or something." She realized then that watching James' face light up was one of the most gratifying things in the world, but even as she knew this, she also realized that there was no going back. He looked utterly delighted.

"I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon," James said, as though he'd been considering this deeply for some time already.

"Woah," Natasha said. "Arizona is not a day trip."

"You could take a week or two," Steve said. He was smiling at James and James was grinning back and then he slid into a chair next to Natasha.

"That could be so much fun," he said.

And so they planned out a dream vacation back in front of the computer at their own apartment, a nearly cross-country road trip by rental car.

"It's 38 hours both ways," Natasha exclaimed.

"So we get there in two or three days," James said. "That's perfect, we could have fun along the way, too."

Natasha turned to James and he was still tracing lines on the map on the screen with a finger, thinking, until she took his hand and made him look at her.

"James," she said. "We can do this, if you want. But if you're ever not okay, even for a second, even just a little bit, you swear you'll tell me and we'll come back here as fast as I can get us, okay?"

"Okay," James said. She reached over and took his other hand, smooth metal. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Swear," Natasha insisted.

"Alright!" James said. "I swear! We'll come back." Then, "Nat, do you want to do this?"

"What?" Natasha said, suddenly somewhat disoriented due to the subject change. James looked down at her hands and rubbed his right thumb against her fingers gently, then back up at her.

"Do you want this?" He asked. "You're so… Hesitant."

"Well, yes," she admitted. "I do. It'd be really nice to get out of the house, really nice, but James, it could be risky." James frowned a little.

"You mean about me," he said.

"And Steve," Natasha added. "I don't want to… Be reckless."

"I'm fine," James insisted. "Really." Natasha took a breath and started to argue, but James stopped her. "I'm fine enough to do this," he said. "It's not Russia. It's Arizona. And it's not like we'd be running from anyone. We wouldn't be in danger, Nat, we'd be out there, having fun. It's different. It's a vacation." Natasha was silent, considering. James looked at her with his puppy dog eyes and she sighed. He was still holding her hand, and he lifted it to his mouth now and started to kiss her fingers. She could feel him begin to smile mischievously.

"It'd just be the two of us…," James said suggestively and Natasha rolled her eyes. She wouldn't let him persuade her like this. She refused to be delighted by him, not this time.

"That's why we have our own apartment, dummy," she said and try as she might, she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She began to run her free hand through his hair, his head still bowed over her fingers.

"Come on, Nat," James said. He looked up at her and she let her hand fall behind him, resting on his shoulder. She took her other hand from him and slung both arms around his neck. He cupped her face in his hands, one side chill, smooth metal and the other, hot flesh. He looked at her pleadingly. "Doesn't it sound like fun?" Natasha sighed. She was melting.

"One day, I'll be able to say no to you," she said and another big smile from James dazzled her. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "I'll give you a solid no," she told him when he pulled away and he laughed. "Maybe if you ever stop being so cute."

"I love you," James said, smiling widely and she started to smile back, almost laughing. She shook her head.

"I love you, too," she replied.