Orange Monster of Kabuki
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama
Chapter 4
A Delicious Sugary Cycle of Life Brings the Whole World Together.
Gin had a large smirk on his face as he look down at his younger brother. In Gintoki's hands was a camera. "Kukukuku Naruto-kunI will finally have my perfect… BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!" Gin inwardly laughed.
Gin raised the camera and took multiple photos of his younger brother when a voice called out. "Gin-chan" The drowsy voice of Kagura said as she was waking up.
"Shit" Gintoki thought as he saw Kagura waking up, he had to leave now. Why was he worried? Well that's because you have to see what Gin was seeing.
On one of the couches was a sleeping Naruto and on his chest was a sleeping Kagura, who was waking up right now. Gin stumbled onto this scene when he woke up and instantly thought of blackmail.
"Gin-chan why do you have a camera" Kagura sat up to see a sweating Gin holding said camera. She then looked down to see Naruto. She then made the realization. "Gin-chan… you didn't take any photos did you?" She asked innocently.
Gin looked at Kagura straight in her eyes. "No reason, just one of Naruto's souvenirs" He said with a straight face as Kagura just looked at him.
"LIAR!" She yelled uppercutting Gin into the roof.
Gin luckily pulled his head from the roof. "Kagura-chan why were you sleeping on Naruto?" He asked.
"Since he was whiskers I thought he might purr!" She said happily.
"But why during the night?"
"To see if it wasn't faked"
Gin looked at Kagura for a while. "Did he?"
"Did he what?"
"PURR! DID HE PURR!"
Kagura smiled before it fell. "I don't know I fell asleep" She said looking a little sad.
"Ah why don't you rub them now?" Gintoki said with his hands behind his back.
"Ah that's a good idea Gin-chan!" Kagura said as Gin shifted over towards the door.
"What's a good idea?" A voice asked.
"Rubbing your whiskers while you're asleep of course"
"Ah" The voice said already dressed in the opposite colours that Gin was wearing.
Kagura looked down as she realized that he was awake. "Hey Kagura-chan if you want you can rub them now"
"Really?" She asked.
"Really" Naruto said. "But be careful, they are very sensitive" Kagura placed her hand on Naruto's cheek and rubbed it. She saw Naruto's lips quavered trying not to purr but after a while… he purred.
Just out of the door Gintoki was still taking blackmail photos but now wondered if he could blackmail Kagura. As he watched Kagura rub Naruto's cheek, Naruto head was laying on her lap like a dog or a cat getting a good pat or a scratch behind the ears.
Naruto was experiencing bliss.
Gin smirked at his blackmail as he heard a voice behind him. "Gin-san why are you peeking through the door?"
Gin jumped a little before turning around to see Shinpachi. "Shinpachi! When did you get here?" Gin asked.
"While you were peeking through the door" Shinpachi said staring at Gintoki. "What are you peeking at?"
"Nothing!" Gin said quickly.
Suddenly Kagura walked out dressed in her usually red long sleeved shirt and red pants carrying her umbrella. Gin took this moment to enter the room to see Naruto and hopefully get a picture, however he was disappointed as Naruto stood up.
"Ano Ototo are your whisker marks really that sensitive?" Gin asked. "It seemed you really enjoyed yourself"
"Hmm, I don't know, was I really purring from such a good feeling or was I acting to make a girl happy?" Naruto asked "I'll just let you have to find out if it was acting or if my whisker marks really are sensitive"
Gin stared at Naruto with narrowed eyes. "Can I rub them?" He asked holding up a hand while still looking at Naruto with narrowed eyes.
"HELL NO!"
"Why not!"
"Because that would be weird as that Gorilla!"
Naruto then walked pass Gintoki. "I'm going to another job" He turned to his older brother. "I'll be home soon Nii-san" He walked out of the room and while going through he petted Sadaharu a Inugami and a member of Yorozuya and basically their mascot. He then went to his job of the day.
Later
Naruto was currently standing in front of an old lady.
"Ah thank you for coming Naru-chan" The old lady said. "I'm sorry if it is an inconvenience"
"Maa maa it's fine" Naruto reassured.
"As you know the business if making delicious sugary circles better known as…" The old lady started.
"Donuts" Naruto said "I know baa-chan"
The old lady laughed as she had a few bags with her. "Well I'll be back in a week. You can keep the money but remember to pay the taxes"
"Okay Baa-chan" He said "Don't party too hard!" The old lady laughed as she disappeared from view.
Naruto watched as the Old Donut Lady left for her vacation.
Naruto's job of the day was actually of the week as he would run the donut shop. When he was younger he visited most of the shops his brother took him to eat, even though his brother evaded the ramen shop like the plague they finally ate their without Naruto eating him broke, they came to this very donut shop.
Day 1
Naruto started to make doughnuts for the shop with different icings. People walked in and bought them and some wondered where the old lady was and he explained where she went.
Naruto looked up as he heard a bell ring that was attached to the door as he carried a tray of doughnuts.
A female around his age with long dark blue hair, dark crimson eyes wearing a unique uniform consisting of a greatcoat and shorts. Naruto looked into her eyes and saw the eyes of a murderer, but behind that he saw a kind girl with regret and guilt.
Naruto then noticed what the uniform belonged to, the Mimawarigumi, a special police force created to restore order to Kyoto. The Mimawarigumi were made up of higher-ranking samurai and retainer who served feudal lords.
Naruto knew them all too well as the Mimawarigumi was actually trying to get him into the Mimawarigumi. It was a shock to Naruto himself as he didn't know why they would go for a ronin but it was probably because of him being the personal bodyguard for Shige Shige.
He did make a name for himself and it was become a big target in the Mimawarigumi Recruitment Office.
Naruto smiled at his fellow teen. "Afternoon" He said.
The girl looked emotionless as she looked around the room. "Where is the owner?" She asked.
"The owner went on vacation for the week I am watching the store" Naruto said as he gave her a smile. "How may I help you today?"
"I'll take… five boxes of Doughnuts" She said.
"Any recommendations of what variation of doughnut?" He asked the Mimawarigumi member.
The girl seemed to think for a bit before pointing out each type of donut she wanted.
"Wonder why the author is swapping between doughnut and donut. JUST PICK ONE!" Naruto thought.
Naruto handed over her donuts as she paid for them. As she left she stopped and turned around to look at Naruto.
"Hmm"
"Is there a problem?"
"You're the Orange Monster aren't you?"
Naruto looked at her as he picked his ear with his finger. "That I am"
"You are recommended to become a member of the Mimawarigumi"
"I know" Naruto said. "I even had the pleasure of meeting your commander Isaburo Sasaki"
The girl didn't show that she was shocked she still had that same emotionless look on her face. She turned around and started to leave.
"Hold on a second" Naruto called out. She stopped and turned to Naruto. "Since who am I it isn't it common curtesy to tell me who you are?"
"Nobume, Nobume Imai" Nobume said as she left the donut shop.
Naruto's eyes twitched as she left the doughnut shop.
"MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY! IS IT DONUT OR DOUGHNUT! YOUR STARTING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!"
That marked the first day of the week.
Day 2
Another day another doughnut, the day started off the same as the last however Naruto slept in the room connected to the shop due to the job. He remembered to let Otose tell Gin that he would be away for the week.
"Good morning Nobume-san" Naruto said as he had a tray of donuts. He didn't need to turn around to see if it was Nobume, why?
That's because it wasn't the first time that she had entered the shop today. At first he thought that she was here on behave of the Mimawarigumi but it turned out she had an addiction to the sugary circles.
"Usual" Nobume said as Naruto pulled out a few boxes and handed to her as she handed over the money. Instead of leaving the shop this time she took a seat on one of the many seats in the shop.
"I would like you to join the Mimawarigumi" Nobume said catching his attention.
"And why is that?" He asked the Mimawarigumi Vice-Captain.
"Because you can make donuts" Nobume said.
"Eh that's it only to make donuts?" He asked the stoic girl who only nodded.
Naruto just stared at her before placing money on the counter. "Another box"
"Coming right up"
Nobume later left and the day came to an end.
Day 3
The day went a bit slower than usually maybe it was because Naruto had no one to talk to. He sighed and went to do the taxes for the old lady. The old lady's vacation was booked the a few days her taxes were to be sent and she couldn't do them or else she would have missed her pick up. The taxes came in today and Naruto would get them done today.
Naruto set up the shop for any customers and after a few hours Nobume came in. He was starting to see a trend here.
"Three boxes" Nobume said as she placed the money on the counter.
"Only three this time?" Naruto asked as he pulled three boxes.
Nobume nodded "Lunch break"
Naruto also nodded, explained much really.
It was a short day and he was beginning to see Nobume as a friend. Naruto then saw something on her neck but couldn't tell what it was.
Nobume noticed his eyes on her and looked at him. Naruto looked back at her. "Yes?" She asked.
"Oh it's nothing" Naruto said. Nobume stood up and was about to leave before she was given a box.
"I didn't pay for this box" Nobume said as Naruto just smiled.
"Nah it's fine, you are my best regular daily customer and friend. So this one is for free"
Nobume looked at the box in her hands and back up at Naruto who smiled. Nobume walked away back to the Mimawarigumi.
Day 4
It was the fourth day at the doughnut shop as Naruto's eye twitched violently. Naruto already made Nobume's donuts already and his eye twitched again.
"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! JUST CHOOSE ONE GOD DAMN WORD!" Naruto shouted at the author. The person who could control Naruto's life in this dimension and had many ways to do so, Naruto paled at the author.
"Maybe the author is a sadist" Naruto said lowly.
Nobume walked in carrying a box. Naruto raised a brow as he looked at the box after giving Nobume he paid boxes and her free box.
"What is this Nobume-chan?" Naruto said as Nobume handed him the box.
Upon opening the box it revealed a male Mimawarigumi uniform, Naruto sweat dropped but noticed something under the uniform. Pulling it out was a flip phone, Naruto never had a phone despite having the money from the jobs he been on he never actually spent it except for rent. He usually kept it for emergencies or for other needs that arise.
Like Jump.
Food was also another necessary.
Okay he spent money but he never bought a phone.
"Nobume-chan, I-I can't accept this" Naruto said.
"Isn't this what friends do?" Nobume asked with a tilted head.
"Yes but you didn't need to buy me a phone"
"Would you have bought one without me buying you one?"
"…"
"…"
"…No..."
Nobume still had her impassive face as she looked at Naruto "Then there is no problem"
"But there is! You bought me a phone, it was probably expensive"
"Not really"
"But still…"
"You gave me free donuts, I give you a phone"
"But a phone is worth more than dozens of doughtnuts"
"I paid for more doughnuts combined than that phone"
Naruto sighed it seemed she wasn't going to give up on this. He then smiled at Nobume. "Thank you Nobume-chan, I'll treasure them forever" He gave a charming smile at her.
He didn't want to wear the Mimawarigumi uniform as he wasn't a member but he would treasure it.
Nobume turned around with her donuts, with Naruto missing something on her face. Maybe he broke through to her.
Day 5
It was the fifth day as Naruto looked around the shop soon the original owner would be on her way home. Naruto looked at his phone and check hi contacts as he didn't have enough time to put any contacts in last time.
He did have one contact already, Nobume Imai.
Naruto then added Otose to the list of contacts and also Gintoki as well. Shige Shige was another to be added to the contact list.
Naruto got up from his seat and headed over towards the door.
"Three, Two, One" He counted down and opened the door revealing Nobume who just got there. "Right on time Nobume-chan"
Nobume walked into the shop followed by Naruto. Barely any customers came into shop leaving Naruto and Nobume alone most of the time.
"Come here Nobume-chan"
Nobume followed Naruto behind the counter. "Why am I here?"
"Well Nobume-chan you like donuts right?"
"…Yes"
"Then…Let's make some donuts!" Naruto said as Nobume's eyes widened.
Naruto and Nobume spent the rest of the day making doughnuts, Nobume seemed to have trouble at first and Naruto saw something on Nobume's face that would be seen as a once in a blue moon.
A smile and laughter.
Day 6
It was the sixth day as someone other than Nobume walked in.
"Isaburo Sasaki" Naruto said as the commander of the Mimawarigumi looked at Naruto.
"Ah Naruto-san, you work here?" The commander asked.
"So Nobume didn't tell him" Naruto thought "No just taking over for a day for the old lady"
"I see" Isaburo said. He walked closer to the counter and looked down. "I noticed you finally got a phone"
"Ah yes I did" Naruto said. Holding up his orange flip phone.
"Flip phone, a good choice" Isaburo said.
"Thanks?" Naruto said unsurely "It's hard to tell if he is here by accident or by Nobume"
"I'll take two boxes of these donuts" He pointed out to the ones he wanted.
"I never pictured you as the doughnut type" Naruto said packing the doughnuts into a box and handing it over once he got the money.
Isaburo took the boxes and looked at Naruto. "I recommend you to join Mimawarigumi"
"I'll think it over" Naruto said as the man nodded and left.
Day 7
It was Naruto's final day as he was waiting for the old lady while still running the shop. He sat there eating doughnuts with Nobume.
Naruto took half of the payment as the old lady returned.
"Thank you for looking over the shop Naru-chan" The owner of the shop said.
"No problem baa-san" Naruto said as he got up "See you around Nobume-chan"
Naruto waved and Nobume waved back. Naruto headed back to Yorozuya and meet a new face in Otose Snack House.
"Hello" Naruto said.
"Hello" The new person said. The new person was a green haired female with dark eyes. Her hair is usually pulled back into a ponytail with a large screw used as a holder. She was wearing a blue yukata and was holding a broom.
"Who are you?" Naruto asked.
"I am Tama" She said. "It's nice to meet you Naruto-san"
"I see you met Tama Naruto-chan" The voice of Otose said as she walked in.
"Who is she?"
"Tama is a an android maid" Otose said "She is our waitress and Gin's rent collector"
"Wait I thought I was paying the rent?" Naruto asked with a tilted head.
"You were but since you are basically wasting money and with Gintoki not paying it himself, I decided to make him pay his own rent" Otose said "You can help Gintoki here and there but Tama can tell which money is used for the rent if it was from you or Gintoki"
Naruto turned to Tama. "Well it's nice to meet you Tama"
"Likewise"
After the meeting Tama Naruto went upstairs and his mobile went off.
"Moshi Moshi" Naruto said "Nobume-chan"
Naruto walked over to the window "Huh what do you mean open the blinds" Naruto then opened the blinds to see… Nobume.
"HOW DID SHE KNOW WHERE I LIVED! D-DID SHE FOLLOW ME!" Naruto inwardly shouted.
"Hello" She said.
"DON'T SAY HELLO SO CASUALLY WHEN YOU FOUND OUT WHERE I LIVED!" Naruto shouted as he opened the window. "What are you doing here?"
"Friends visit each other like this right?" She asked.
"They do but not like this" Naruto said "What you just did was more like between two people dating"
"So was that wrong"
"No no it was fine Nobume-chan" Naruto reassured.
Nobume stayed with Naruto and no one knew that she was with Naruto eventually Nobume looked at the clock and left with a wave back to the Mimawarigumi.
Naruto saw Gin walk in a few minutes later after Nobume left through the window "Hello Nii-san, Kagura-chan"
Gin waved and Kagura waved as well. Gin sat at his desk and Kagura sat on a couch. Naruto was looking at the ground luckily for him the others were busy.
"Why am I feeling like this, my heart is racing why am I thinking of Nobume-chan…am I falling for her?" Naruto thought then an image of Kyubei appeared "Now I'm thinking of Kyu-chan, I haven't been with her as long as I have been with Nobume"
Gin was looking down at his manga but if you were to look through his eyes you would see the blackmail photos he took.
"Kagura and Naruto look happy in these when they are both asleep and awake" Gin thought "I guess they look cute together…wait I see them as my brother and sister. My little younger brother and younger sister and here I am pairing them up!"
Gin then remembered something from earlier and it would help him take his mind of pairing them up. He placed the photos in a draw under his manga.
"Naruto there is something we need to discuss" Gin said seriously.
"What is it?" Naruto said also seriously.
"Should the author add a parody list to the end of the chapter?"
"Eh?" Naruto said making the conversation lose all seriousness.
"A parody list, a list at the end of the chapter with all the parodies in the story thus far" Gin said. "If we do have it would place all the parodies in the chapters expect for the parodies on the next chapter to be revealed on the next chapter afterwards to keep them guessing"
"Well it's up to the author isn't it" Naruto said.
"Hmm I guess so"
Naruto relaxed into his seat. "Why do you want to add a parody list to the chapters? Do you lack faith in our readers in order to pick out the parodies they were pretty much labelled as what they were parodying"
"WHAT ABOUT THE LAST CHAPTER! ONLY THOSE WHO PLAYED THE PARODY WOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT!"
"If they just type in the search bar they will find it quite easily"
Naruto and Gin looked each other's eyes.
"Then how about this? We will let the author put a poll" Gintoki said.
"But can't they just use the review to say yes or screw that and you while I'm at it?"
Gintoki sighed "People like polls, 10 out of 10 non-existent people said yes"
"This whole conversation feels like a drawn out author's note" Naruto said with his face in his hand or was it his hand on his face? "Why can't the author just use an author's note?"
"Is it because people hate Author Note chapters when they find a story they like and are invested in?" Surprisngly Kagura asked.
Gintoki nodded "Yes people hate that but what Naruto is talking about is Author Notes at the end of the chapter"
"Maybe it's because they can be used as excuses to draw out a short chapter" Kagura said.
"No, those author's notes have information usually"
"Then is it because the author is insane?"
Gintoki stopped to think for a bit before answering Kagura. "Yes, the author is insane"
"DO GO CALLING THE AUTHOR INSANE!" Naruto shouted "HE CAN CONTROL US INTO DOING ANYTHING!"
It's true you know.
The insane bit as well.
"DON'T JUST AGREE WITH THEM!"
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
"I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO! I JUST DON'T WANT YOU IN WITH A BAD CROWD!"
"We're a bad crowd?" Kagura asked nobody.
"Oi stop fighting with the author" Gintoki said to Naruto.
STAY OUT OF THIS
"STAY OUT OF THIS"
Naruto looked at the author… who was represented as… nothing.
"I'm sorry for raising my voice" Naruto said "I just don't want you to be badly influenced by them"
Its fine I'm sorry as well… want to go and eat some parfait?
"Sure let's go"
"Oi, I want to come too!" Gintoki said.
"Me too!" Kagura said as she followed Naruto, Gintoki and a non-existent author.
Those who saw them eat wondered how the one of the four parfaits was being eaten by nobody.