A/N: Holy Crap!!! It's been… what? Two years?! O.o Wow, I feel like a slacker! I was cleaning out my account on FFN, deleting old crap that really shouldn't be endured by public eyes, ya know. And I opened this preparing to say good bye to one of my babies before I deleted it and I looked at the reviews and I just couldn't do it!!! I'm sorry it's been a long time and I really do have a good reason for stopping writing this when I did. I began writing it after my friend Ashlyn died and I stopped writing it just after my Father died that same year. But since then I have made my way through High School and even lived in Ireland for six months on a foreign exchange program. And now, I'm a senior in High School. (sigh) My life should be a soap opera… I bet I could make some money writing it too. Oh-to-the-well. My writing has improved in those two years though and I can only hope this story will be better for it. If you stuck by me and still have my story on your alert list then… DAMN!!! you got some patience!!! Lmao. But if you didn't (you're not hearing this anyways so, uuuh!) or if you're a new reader then WELCOME!!! I hope you enjoy, I've edited some more so the previous chapiis won't frighten English instructors quite so much. Hope you like it!

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Susan woke again many days later to a sharp stinging in her left hand. She opened her eyes slowly and with much difficulty to see a nurse standing over her. She was changing the IV needle in Susan's hand apparently sure that it wouldn't disturb her.

Susan opened her mouth but could only make a weak coughing noise, but this appeared sufficient enough to catch the woman's attention as she yelled, "Doctor Franklin, the Commander is awake again!" Steven came barreling through the door at the sound of the woman's calls and quickly approached Susan's bed side.

"Ivanova, thank god, we thought you weren't going to wake up again." Susan was surprised at the man's reaction seeing as how the last time he'd left the room it was a definite possibility that he would never speak to her again.

"How long have I been out?" Ivanova asked trying to clear the sleep induced fog from her consciousness.

"Almost five days," Steven supplied pulling out a small light and shining it into her eyes then checking other vital signs. "You weren't in a comma, but we couldn't wake you up for anything. John's been all bent out of shape about it the past few days, not to mention Marcus…"

"How is Marcus?" Susan asked when the doctor's ramblings had trailed off. Franklin, now appearing satisfied with her present condition gave her a concerned look.

"He's fine physically, emotionally and mentally I can't say, he won't talk to me unless it's about you. I think you're scaring him a little too much for his comfort." Susan was thoroughly confused.

"Why have I been asleep so long, I feel like I haven't slept in weeks." She attempted to sit up on her own and when that failed Steven assisted until she was propped up at least partially on a few pillows.

"We're trying to work that out now. I think it has something to do with the alien healing device, but I'm not sure. The machine drained and converted energy on a cellular level, it's like nothing we've ever seen before." A pang of guilt surfaced in her thoughts again at the memories. After all this she was starting to second guess herself, a bit late in the game though it obviously was.

"Is it going to get any better, or am I going to sleep for weeks at a time for the rest of my life?" An unreadable expression crossed Franklin's face and Susan became more guarded. "What?"

"Susan… we have no idea how this machine operates. I don't know what the procedures are for repairing its damage if there even is a way." Susan looked grim for a moment before thinking of something else.

"So what's going…?" But before she could finish a wave of exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks and for a moment she thought she would pass out as her eyes closed of their own will and her body seemed to vanish from her control.

When she opened her eyes again Steven was shaking her shoulders animatedly, trying to snap her out of it. "What happened?" She asked with weak alarm after assuring him that she was still conscious.

"I don't know!" Franklin said frantically scanning every monitor around her. "That's how we lost you the last time, you just fell asleep!" Apparently flustered about this fact he turned back to the commander and grimaced, not able to find anything new in the read outs. "I told Marcus I'd find him if you woke up again… is it okay if I get him now?" Susan thought for a moment, then nodded her head slowly and Franklin left.

While he was gone Susan took the time to prop herself up a little further and think everything through. So she hadn't killed herself initially like she'd thought. No, now she was tottering on the verge of oblivion just waiting for the final time when she'd fall asleep and be unable to awaken again.

"This is what I get for rushing into things." She told herself bitterly trying to think of what she would say when Marcus arrived. She didn't have long to contemplate though as Steven reentered ten minutes later with the Ranger in toe.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while." Steven offered feebly before shutting the door with a sharp snap leaving Susan under the haunting stare of Marcus' green eyes.

He stayed very still for a long moment and Susan tried to stay as static as possible while Marcus continued to stare. "I don't understand, Susan." He finally said quietly looking down at the floor.

Ivanova would have asked what he meant if she'd thought it would have made things easier. "I couldn't just stand there like a good solider Marcus… I think everyone here would have done it for someone they love." Wrong choice of words… well, right choice, wrong moment. But Marcus didn't seem shocked or even slightly moved, instead he stayed exactly were he was staring at the floor.

"I know…" He said simply looking up again. An awkward moment past where Susan actually considered passing out again to be a reprieve, though it didn't happen. "I just don't understand why it happened. I was supposed to save you, not the other way around." Susan could see an internal war wagging and wondered what he meant.

"Well, if you hadn't pushed me out of the way to begin with we wouldn't be in this situation now would we?" Susan said bristling at the renewed anger she had initially felt when he'd saved her life on the White Star.

As always, Marcus rose to the challenge, "Oh, really? So now it's my fault that you used that bloody machine is it? We'll I'm glad we've sorted out all the blame here. I was starting to wonder why fingers weren't being pointed yet."

Susan could feel the anger boiling just beneath the surface as she retorted, "Look, I'm not pointing a finger at anyone, but what you did was pretty damned stupid!"

"You're talking to me about stupid? Sorry, I rather thought it was you that used an alien device to save another's life landing you in between the rock and the hard spot where you are," Marcus bit back fuming with rage.

"Look I'm sorry, but…" Susan was going to end the argument with a simple confession, but Marcus surprised her.

"No!" He barked out silencing her immediately. "No… don't apologize." He seemed to lose all of his anger in a single exhale and looked up into her eyes with a sorrowful expression. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I knew… I just wasn't fast enough, I… I'm sorry Susan." And he left leaving the door slightly ajar in his hast to escape.

Susan sat there staring at the door for a long while. What had he meant by, "I knew… I just wasn't fast enough." He hadn't known what was going to happen, no one had. He couldn't have prevented the accident from happening, try as he did… could he?

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A/N Dramatic music! And the plot thickens!! Again, thank you, I know I'm an awful person who should have paid more attention to this fic, but I've just let it go for a while without much concern. I'll try to finish it, I really will. Even if it takes me an eternity or two, I'll get it done. BUT, only if you review and tell me you haven't completely given up on me and cursed my very name for all time for my incompetent performance! Anyways, Review damn it, or I will be forced to release the one legged space chickens on your sorry asses! OR worse yet, the demon coconut bearing hamsters from… OKAY! I'm gonna stop there before I hurt myself, eh? Just review, pleaz.

HIKARi