EARTHSTUCK
EPISODE 4
AND THEN...
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Karkat screamed when he saw the scene taking place before him. Sollux quickly covered his mouth.
"Shut up KK!" He whispered loudly. "Thothe guyth are called polithe. We have to rethpect them. It'th an Earth thing..."
"Mrph!" Karkat replied. He quickly bit Captor's hand, causing the lisping disguised troll to pull away and swipe his hand about like there was no fucking tomorrow.
"Ow! Shit KK! That really hurt!" He said loudly. He then covered his mouth hoping that the cops wouldn't hear. One of the men in uniform spotted the group of unfamiliar children, and then walked towards them with a look of seriousness about him.
"Oh great, look what you did..." Sollux scolded his shorter Vantas friend.
"Me?" Karkat whispered loudly. "You're the one who was dancing around like an idiot!"
"You fucking bit me!" Sollux loudly whispered back. The officer stopped in front of them.
"You can't hang out around here kids." He said with a low voice of authority. "We're using these findings for scientific research."
"But that's not fair!" Karkat argued. "We're using this building as our headquarters!"
"Sorry kids, but it's dangerous to play your little clubhouse games at a site like this." The police man said.
"Clubhouse games? What clubhouse games? I'm being completely serious here!" Said Vantas with a shrill coldness in his tone.
"This building wasn't here before." Explained the man. "Therefore we have to examine it of anything out of the ordinary."
"Excuse me..." Another man's voice came out from around the building, then when he came from the shadows, he could be seen as in fact, Dirk Strider. The officer turned to face him.
"Yes? What is it?" He asked politely.
"Well, wouldn't you say that it's completely normal for children of their age to be curious about something like this?" The older Strider brother asked with one hand behind his back.
"I suppose so..." The police man replied.
"Then how's about you get some more kindness about you. They aren't causing any trouble. Besides, shouldn't you be searching the inside of the building with the rest of the workers?"
"Oh damn it! Thank you Strider..." And with that, the officer ran up towards the building and joined his fellow police crew. Dirk squatted down so that he could be eye to eye with Karkat who was quite short in comparison to the blond male. He then removed his hand from his back, and showed the boy a computer chip of sorts. Actually, it was the same program that helped the trolls disguise themselves to appear more human. Karkat seemed quite surprise, along with Sollux who was now standing right next to him.
"I suggest that you kids keep a good eye on this chip right here..." The adult said with a cool Texas accent. Karkat stared at it for a moment, then quickly snatched it from Dirk's hands. "I may be an adult and all that, but I'm not stupid. You didn't come from around here, I can tell." He said while carefully standing back up and starring over the rest of the young trolls. Karkat was too dumbfounded to say a word. "Wow..." The man continued with a smile. "Aliens huh?"
"Wait..." Karkat finally said. "How do you know about that?"
Dirk simply looked at him through the triangle shaped sunglasses he was wearing and smiled some more.
"I've seen stranger in my life." He said in the middle of what seemed like a brief pondering. "But anyway, good luck finding a new place to stay...if you can at least..."
"No wait! That's not fair!" Karkat argued in a rage. "They can't take our home!"
"It wasn't my idea little guy, believe you me." Said dirk while now facing his back towards the group of troll kids. "There's only so much I can do to get the man to avoid you guys."
"This is absolute bull!" The adolescent troll shouted.
Dirk scratched the back of his head.
"I'll tell you what..." He said with the same Texas accent. He then turned back again to face the aliens before continuing on with his idea.
"Just down the hill there should be a dirt covered road hidden in the brush. Keep your eyes open for it, cause you wouldn't want to miss something so camouflaged as that. Follow it. It should lead you to a nice old cave area where you can possibly spend your nights at. Here are a few supplies to get you started..." Slung over Dirk's right shoulder was a red duffle bag that clanked whenever he removed it and sat it down on the ground before the others.
"It's got cooking tools and other good camping supplies inside, so all of you should be good to go. The reason I brought it with me is because I often like to camp out up here in the night. If you want, I'll even come and find you to deliver you some food and other day to day necessities."
"Woah woah woah..." Karkat stopped him. "You're trying to tell US that OUR ONLY OPTION for a living quarters, is to sleep in a FUCKING CAVE?"
"That's right." Strider said. "At least until I can find you guys a better place to stay. It's either the cave, or you guys get to sleep in the trees. Imagine it, cold nights, huddled up together, completely venerable to any storm or wild animal that may come your way...shit here on Earth could very well eat you alive."
As though on cue, a small moth landed on top of Karkat's nose and started to make itself at home, causing Vantas to fly backwards in a panic and crash into the other trolls.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" The boy screamed. Dirk just laughed.
"Except for that." He said. "That little guy is as weak as the hairs on a dead dude's head..."
"Ugh..." Karkat said. "Will someone help me up?" Kanaya, who was also listening to the conversation, helped lift Vantas back onto his feet, however at the same time, not once did she take her eyes off of the Strider brother.
"So anyway..." Continued Dirk. "...You gonna take the supplies or what?"
"Yeah fine..." Karkat reluctantly complied. He attempted to pick up the big bag and throw it over his shoulders, but the thing was just too heavy for him to manage. "DAMN IT! EQUIUS! LIFT THIS INFERNAL OBJECT FOR ME OK?"
Equius quickly hupped to the front of the crowd and lifted the bag as though it was as simple as a tiny marble. Thank goodness he was so strong.
"Well, we'll be off now!" Karkat said with crossed arms. "Thank you for your...'help'" And he began to walk off.
"No problem creepy dude." Dirk replied calmly. "And by the way!" He shouted as the group had already gone a few feet ahead of him. "The cave is in the opposite direction!"
"DAMN IT!" Karkat's frustrated voice was easily heard in the madness, and he immediately turned around. "I totally knew that..." He said while passing by the Strider brother yet a second time. Dirk simply chuckled.
A few hours later, at John's house, the messy haired boy was once again doing dishes for his father. This was around the time that he would often daydream about practically anything that crossed his mind. At the time for example, the only thing he could think about were those odd exchanged students from earlier that day. There was something weird about them, and he was determined to figure out why. Then in the midst of this awkward daydreaming sequence, John's dad passed by to see how he was doing with his chores. So as an automatic reaction to this, the boy put on his special nose and mustache disguise that he loved so much.
"John's not here dad." He said while continuing.
"Oh..." His father replied semi gruffly. "Well then, thank you for doing the dishes for me odd stranger boy."
"Eeyup..."
With that, his father left the room. For some reason Egbert thought that it was particularly amusing to "trick" his father, even though his dad knew very well that John was still John. The boy continued to ponder. He remembered the strange questions some of the foreign children were asking the teachers. He remembered their odd actions, and their out of the ordinary eye colors. He remembered how Karkat had called him and his friends "humans" before eagerly correcting himself. That was it! John suddenly realized that these kids WERE out of the ordinary! The program that Jade had installed may have actually worked! He placed the dishes down roughly in the drainer, perhaps too roughly even, because in doing so, his feet shifted, and he slipped over a pile of dish soap that had fallen on the floor only moments earlier.
"OW! FUCK!" He yelped after impact to the ground. His dad peeked in.
"Stranger boy? Are you alright?" He asked curiously. The man then noticed that John's disguise had fallen off. "Oh, hello John. It was the strangest thing, I thought for sure there was a complete stranger doing the dishes for us." The man joked before exiting the room yet a second time.
"Yeah yeah...funny one dad..." John sighed with his back still glued to the kitchen floor. He didn't want to get up just yet. "I have to tell the others about my discovery!" He said to himself excitedly. Then he finally got up and stabilized his blue sock covered feet to the ground.
When he got to his room to contact his friends, there was a mess of clothes all over the floor because he hadn't yet gotten to cleaning it. He managed to swim through though, and get to his computer.
"hello?" He typed. "is anyone on?"
"put your headphones on john, ill talk to you through my mic" Jade replied.
"ok!" John said. He then plugged in his head set and connected to Jade's server.
"Can you hear me John?" She asked in her happy high pitched voice.
"Loud and clear Harley. Man, I haven't used my mic in a while. Kind of feeling like James Bond right now, you know?"
"Why? Are we being secretive?" Jade asked.
"No, it just seemed like a cool concept." Egbert smiled.
"I guess so. Sorry I have to talk to you this way, as I said yesterday, I have a lot of homework to do." Harley apologized from the other side of her computer.
"Oh yeah, that's fine. I remember you mentioning that. Is anyone else on?"
"No, haven't been sense school got out."
"They're probably busy then huh?"
"Probably."
"Well, I wanted to tell you something really cool!" John mentioned. At the same time he began to load his Ghost Busters PC game.
"Really?" Jade asked. "And what's that?"
"Well, I was thinking about those exchanged students. Didn't they seem kind of...over the top to you?"
"Yeah. I guess they kind of were now that I think about it."
"Oh they were more than a little bit strange." Egbert continued. "They kept asking these weird questions that would make sense to anyone else, even someone who lived on the completely opposite side of the Earth."
"Ok, and?" Jade asked.
"Based on that, I think that they may be those aliens that we were trying to summon from before!"
"That's really rude John! Just because they were different doesn't necessarily mean they were from another planet! You should really think before you speak!" The girl scolded.
"But I'm serious Jade! Why else would Karkat call us humans at first instead of, "hey you!" or "excuse me", you know, like normal people do?"
"Maybe he spoke another language before he moved here and he's still getting use to our terms." Harley explained.
"No way Jade! If that was the case then Rose wouldn't have been struck down by that one English grammar genius! Don't you see? This is really really weird!"
"Well...he might not have been as educated as the other student was at the time."
"I don't get it Jade. You were so excited about this before! I thought you believed in supernatural things like this happening."
"I did..." Jade's voice lowered a register, almost making her sound a little disappointed in herself.
"Then what happened?" John asked curiously.
"I'm just so use to failing that I guess it's caused me to become skeptical...basically, I'm not going to believe in anything like that unless something really phenomenal happens so that it HAS to be true."
"Wow Jade...that makes me kind of sad, no lie." John huffed. "But I guess if you want proof, I'm just going to have to find some for you huh?"
"Yeah, and when you do, I think I'll be able to believe you about it better." The girl replied, a little bit happier than before.
"So you want physical evidence? Not just any old hypothesis right?" John asked.
"Uh huh!"
"I think I can do that...just wait a few days and you'll get your evidence in no time."
"Alright John, I'm counting on you." Said Jade with a smile. She honestly wanted to believe very much, it was just hard given her current situation. And the program did have very different actions from any other normal PC device. She clicked on her television.
"So what are you up to right now, besides homework and all?" John asked, meanwhile kicking enemy ghost butt.
"Noting really." Jade replied. "Just channel surfing. Nothing is ever on anymore." She paused momentarily when she saw something on TV that caught her attention. "What about you?"
"Playing Ghost Busters..." The brunette boy answered. "...Other than that nothing though."
"Hm...that's interesting..." The Harley girl said under her breath.
"What is it?" John asked.
"Turn on your television and check out the local news station. They're doing a report on the woods and showing this really neat run down building. I think it might be the one Dave was talking about from before."
"Really? Oh I've gotta see that!" On another tab, John searched up his favorite live TV website and watched the video.
"Coming to you live from Doustin Woods, local authorities have reported this building as an unexplained phenomenon. Just discovered last night by Dirk J. Strider, this run down laboratory had been noticed, sitting in front of what he calls, 'The Daily Color Bomb', or rather, the evening sunset. Interviewers are asking him questions now. Paul..." The camera switched to another news man.
"Hey! Dirk is Dave's big brother! I wonder if he knows about this..." John said in the middle of examining the report.
"I'm sure he does. Now shoosh, I want to hear what he has to say."
"Thanks Barb." The television continued. The news man was standing right in front of the Strider brother. "You heard it right folks. This building has been completely unnoticeable until last night, and some are even going so far as to blame it on supernatural causes, that including 'Aliens'. What do you think of this chilling observation Dirk?" He motioned the mic to the blond male's lips.
"Honestly after all the shit I've seen around these parts, I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised."
"Aw man, Dave has got to see this! I'm going to call him!" John interrupted yet a second time. Jade was too distracted to really give him her input. The television went on.
"Really? Do you come to the woods often Mr. Strider?" The news reporter asked.
"Oh hell yeah. I come here to camp, fish, and sometimes even train with my awesome swords. Takes a lot to be a rough ass ninja like me." He smiled.
"But all joking aside, nobody actually knows where something like this would come from. It's too great to have any solid explanation."
"I see. Anything else you would like to add in?"
Strider shrugged.
"Alright then, how did you actually come to this discovery?" The man asked instead.
"I dunno, I was just kind of doing my own little thing when I saw this weird electrical light coming from this direction, so I went towards it and found this big old laboratory sitting here. Nothing I've ever seen before."
"Aw man, Dave is totally watching with us now Jade." Egbert interrupted yet a third time.
"Uh huh..." Replied Jade in a near daze. She almost couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"Hmm...Very strange indeed." Commented the reporter. He then turned back to the camera and continued speaking. "For a while we were unable to view the inside of this foreign building, but now with recent permissions, we are able to take a closer look. Going back to Barb for the details..."
"Thanks again Pau-" The female news lady was unable to be heard in finishing her sentence, for right when all three of the children had eased into their screens in intrigue, the power had shut off completely for each of them.
"Aw no way!" John exclaimed. "They were just getting to the good part! A-and I didn't get to finish my game!"
At her house, Jade too looked at the television in shock. Dave however looked up at the ceiling, more surprised about the power outage than anything. There wasn't anything happening outside that could have caused it when he peeked out his window, so he wondered if this was a normal happenstance. It was then that he realized that everyone else in his apartment building was completely blacked out as well!
"John?" He asked on his cell phone. That was how him and ghost buster boy were communicating with each other in the first place. "Did your power go out too?" After a minute, Dave could hear some fumbling on the other side of the phone as Egbert attempted to get back on.
"Yeah! It was the weirdest thing! All my electric stuff just completely backfired on me!" He replied, still a little surprised about the entire situation.
"Weird...wonder if Jade is having the same problem." Dave said while thinking.
"I could put her on three way..." John said.
"Does Jade even have a working cell phone? I remember she ended up flushing her last one down the toilet, couldn't get it out for weeks."
"Oh yeah..." Sighed the dark haired boy. "Damn..."
"Look man, we're going to have to figure this out another time, my phone is running on low as it is and I want to conserve some energy at least until the power comes back on again." Dave explained.
"Yeah, that's fine. Completely understandable actually. I guess I'll just play ghost busters another time. Sigh."
"Sure thing bro, talk to you later."
"Yup." And with that, the two friends hung up.
Meanwhile, Karkat and the other trolls had made themselves at home inside the cave Dirk had mentioned to them before, all in their original forms now due to the chip being successfully re installed.
"Ladieth and gentle trollth, we now have power!" Sollux managed to connect enough electrical instruments to power up an entire city! All with the help of one severely damaged potato.
"DAMN IT SOLLUX! I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!" Karkat shouted in a rage. The others however were applauding the Captor.
"Relax KK, it'th only until we find another way to keep our electrical equipment in good working condithion. Bethideth, we're going to have to thimmer down thomewhat, conthidering with the amount of light we have now, we could be thpotted from mileth away." Sollux explained.
"Motherfuckin' miracles." Gamzee smiled from his corner of the cave. "Good thing Solbro here had enough shiny shit in his bag to make this all up and motherfuckin happen! Now we've got husk tops and heaters galore! How does shit like electricity work anyway? Miracles my brothers, that's how."
Karkat rolled his eyes.
"Burned my fucking potato..." He continued to complain.
"Oh cheer up Karkat!" Terezi said from behind him. She put her fingers up his mouth to make him smile. "At least we're safe from those awful human authority figures, right?"
"DAT POFADO WASH ALL I HAG TO EAT! Guh...will you pleave shtop playing wiff my mouff now Tereshi?"
"Oh fiiine..." The Pyrope complained. She then let go. "You're no fun Karkles."
Karkat wiped his face.
"Yeah yeah..." He replied dryly.
In the far right of the cave, Tavros was attempting to cook marsh mellows with the heater and being very unsuccessful.
"Silly Tavroooooooos! That isn't how you cook a marsh mellow!" Vriska teased. She then put two marsh mellows on the tips of Tavros's horns and pressed his face close to the heater. "Ahahaha! Now THAT'S how you do it!" She said with her tongue sticking out.
"Vriska...this heater is very hot!" The poor Nitram complained.
"Of course it is! How else do you expect to get those marsh mellows cooked?" She pulled his head away from the heating device and plucked off one of the them from his right horn, then promptly stuck it in her mouth with satisfaction.
Kanaya came to Vantas's side.
"Karkat..." She said.
"What...?"
"You needn't worry about not having anything to eat for supper tonight." She explained smoothly. "Aradia and I are already on the job. Equius and Feferi offered to help us, but I'm afraid that did not turn out as planned." She slowly motioned to the two trolls who had volunteered, and their inability to cook was inevitable, for while Feferi was trying to get a live squid off of her face, Equius was breaking every dish he picked up by mistake, all the while saying oops every time something crashed. This caused Karkat to face palm.
"It's a wonder I'm not getting concussions from the amount of times I have to express my despite towards the entire fucking lot of you!" He groaned loudly. "What are you even making anyway? It smells kind of...strange..."
"Well, actually..." Kanaya answered. "...We decided to get creative. All I can say, is that you shall have your potatos yet Vantas." An immediate poofing sound came from another area in the cave, and Aradia came out of a near by tunnel with a considerable amount of smoke surrounding her hair.
"It...is ready..." The ram horned said with a twitch.
"OH COD! WWHAT IS THAT SMELL?" Eridan asked from his own "personalized" section of the cave.
"I had a little accident..." Answered Aradia.
"Miss Megido! What happened to you?" Kanaya asked in surprise.
"I...don't really know..." Aradia answered. "But...the food is finished."
"Is it...edible?" Equius asked while holding his nose.
"I sure hope so..." Was all the maroon blood's reply. Then when the fog cleared, the dish of...um...well let's just say gloop, was finally revealed.
A emphasized look of disgust crossed almost every troll's face when this monstrosity was revealed, and a glowering shade over took each of their eyes. The gloop didn't really help their looks decrease at all, considering at that moment it decided to bubble up like the gooey mess that it was.
"What ith it...?" Sollux twitched.
"I'm almost expecting it to crawl off the plate..." Vriska joined.
Feferi, who was still struggling in the background, finally managed to pull the squid off of her face and look at Aradia's disaster of a failed recipe.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAH! DEMON BE GONE!" She said, not too long before throwing the squid on the ground just in front of Aradia's feet. It simply flopped away.
"It was suppose to be mashed potatoes and bird beast strips..." The curly haired woman explained with almost dramatically anime style sobby eyes.
"I'll try it bro!" From the back, Gamzee waved his hand about in trying to get the girls attention. The crowd of trolls then separated as if to make a pathway for Gamzee to walk though.
"Go ahead fuckface, I'm not touching that shit..." Karkat said with a twitch.
"Don't mind if I do best friend." The goat horned boy said with a calm smile. He walked forward, and every step that he took seemed to take hours to the rest of the trolls. None of them took their eyes off of him as he presumed to lift his hand towards the greenish yellow creation that was suppose to be supper. His fingers dug inside, then lifted to his mouth, still bubbling warm. He licked it off.
"Hmmm..." He said while scratching his chin with his opposite hand. He then took another bite and thought about it even more. "Mmhmmmm..." The trolls continued to watch him intently.
"Well?" Karkat asked impatiently.
"Just a sec best friend, I have to savor it..." Gamzee said while taking yet a third bite of the blob pie. "Uh...huh..."
"OH JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!"
Gamzee shrugged.
"Honk." Was his only reply.
"THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION! HOW THE FUCK DID IT TASTE MAKARA? AND DON'T YOU DARE REPLY WITH ANOTHER HONK OR SO HELP ME, YOU WILL NEVER LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY OF MIRACLES EVER AGAIN!" Karkat was certainly having a conniption fit.
"It was motherfuckin' good bro." Gamzee replied with a thumbs up sign. This caused Karkat to fall over from standing.
"Hmm, in that case..." Terezi began. "I guess we should start digging in huh?"
"Are you kiddin' Pyrope?" Eridan said with crossed arms. "I ain't touchin' that shit if it fuckin killed me!"
"Alright then." Pyrope replied. "Go ahead and starve! I for one am digging in! Serve me a plate Aradia, this stomach craves some munchies!" And at that, practically everyone but Eridan joined the teal blood and ate a wholesome meal, no matter how gross it smelled or looked.
"Well fuck you guys!" Eridan said while making himself at home in his little area of the cave. "I'll eat my own meal!" He picked up a rock and attempted munching on it, only to make annoying crunching sounds with his mouth. Then when he swallowed, his entire body shivered with disgust.