Challenge Number: #4 - Mother's Forgiveness
Date Posted: 3-7-13
Challenge: Mother's Forgiveness
Fandom: Twilight
Rating:M just in case
Genre: AH
Content Descriptors: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Character Pairing: Leah/Collin
Beta/Pre-Readers - Gillian, Lolo, and Cruiz
Collin, in his early twenties in jail for selling drugs, hurting his mother, Leah.
Collin POV
As I lie on the cot-like bed, with steel bars and concrete walls surrounding me, I start to think about my actions and the people I hurt–my brother being one and my mom being the other.
A guard comes to my cell telling me I have a visitor. My face scrunches up as I wonder who it could be. It's been five months since I last saw my uncle, when he told me he would try to help me with getting another hearing.
I stand up, taking the few steps towards the door, placing my hands in the opened area so the stocky, male guard can put the handcuffs over my wrists. I back up waiting for the door to open. Once it does, I step in behind him but in front of two others.
The four of us walk until we get to area with the plexiglass windows and phones. The first guard sits me down face-to-face with, Embry, my uncle.
He reaches for the phone on his side as I do the same.
"Hey, Collin."
"Embry." He is not only, my uncle, but also my lawyer.
"How ya doing?"
With a shrug, I sit up and, letting my legs hang off the edge of the cot, I turn my head to look at him. "Okay. How've you been?"
"I've been good–taking care of my sister." Embry lets his hands flop open. "You know, it's been too long since she's seen you."
"Yeah, well, she can come see me here."
"You know she won't do that. She can't stand it that you're in here, man."
"I know." I stand up to walk toward him. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to tell you that you're getting another hearing. You've been good, and they want to reevaluate your case."
My heart screams "yes!" but I keep it contained. "Thank you." I shake his hand.
"You're welcome. I'm not doing this just for you, ya know."
"Yea, I know." A small grin pulls at the corners of my lips. "You're doing it for her."
He nods his head as he lets go of my hand. "We'll talk later. Be good, Collin."
"Later, Embry." He hangs his phone up, as do I, leaving me to my thoughts as I walk back to my cell, surrounded by the four guards that brought me to the visitation area.
The lunch buzzer sounds, and the cell doors in the area open. Everyone files out in a single file line with guards on either side. The front of the line starts to move forward towards the cafeteria, which leads us through a gate that stretches from the ceiling to the floor, up two flights of stairs, then down a hallway to a nicely lite, school type lunch area. The smell of potatoes and chicken fills the room. The line of prisoners goes through as the servers plop food onto our plates.
While each inmate takes their seat and begins to eat, I stare at the lumpy mashed potatoes and can't help to think of my mother. She always made sure all the lumps were smoothed out.
I'm sorry mother. How hard is that to say? It shouldn't have been. She was the only one, aside from my brother, that I disappointed so much in the last two years.
The guards start to hurry all the inmates up to finish eating and get back to our cells. I don't touch the potatoes but stuff the chicken in my mouth as fast as I can, chewing and swallowing all at the same time.
Everyone lines back up to head back to our area before afternoon activities. Once we reach our area, I was directed to my therapy session with Dr. Cullen, Carlisle Cullen.
At first, I didn't think he would be able to help but the last eighteen months, I have progressed in being able to manage my life. He has helped me find my higher power being. The Doc has helped me understand that there are things that we do that hurts those we love, that if we can forgive ourselves maybe, just maybe, our loved ones will be able to forgive us as well.
I have been working on asking for forgiveness, but she's the only one, aside from my brother, Brady, who I really need to apologize to.
In our sessions, I explained to Dr. Cullen how my life was and that the horrible decisions I made landed me in prison. I also, told him how my mother did her best to keep me from making those bad decisions, I didn't want to listen.
I didn't do drugs, but I did sell them. My father, of all people, is the person I got my supply from. He was the head of the whole operation, but after a drug deal gone bad–one that ended in bloodshed–I got two years in prison, while my father lost his life.
Replaying that memory hurts but also reminds me that I don't want to go back to that life. I will need all the support I can get.
"Well, Collin, my boy, you with this session, I do believe you are ready for your evaluation and possible release."
"You feel that is the right thing to do, Doc?" I question him.
"Why do you question me?" Doc looks concerned at me. "You have done well. You have grown as a man, do you not feel it?"
I mull that over before I answer him. "I do."
"Then your time here is up. I will give them my full report in the morning." He stacks all of the papers together placing them in a manila folder with my name on it. "I would like to continue being your counselor once you are out in the world, Collin, if that would help in your journey."
I nod. "I would like that." I stand up from the couch as a guard comes in to take me to my cell.
The doctor nods as I leave.
Walking to my cell with on guard in front of me and another behind, I think about what I hope I to accomplish once I'm with my family. I feel good that the doctor still wants to help me when I'm out. The guard opens the cell door and I step in as it closes behind me.
I take a deep breath as I anticipate a new beginning.
I stretch out on my cot, arms behind my head as I stare into the grey ceiling. Her pale blue eyes, tears streaming down her face.
I look into her eyes as I say the three words I so desperately want her to hear. I watch her face fade into the ceiling as I drift off to sleep.