The Garden
Hellsing Manor, 2:06 P.M.
Alucard stepped into the garden of Hellsing Manor and cringed, "I hate the sun." he grumbled shielding his eyes. Of course if he had any say in the matter he would be sitting inside drinking blood or sleeping, but unfortunately Integra had other plans. You see ever since Walter left four days ago Alucard hadn't done any work, thus the mansion began to slowly degrade into a pigsty. That prompted Integra to force Alucard back to work cleaning the house. Once he finished that she ordered him outside to do the garden.
Sighing, Alucard pulled out the list of chores he had to do, the first assignment was: Cut the grass, "Well that sounds easy enough." Alucard thought. Unzipping his work bag Alucard began removing the tools he would need to work with. "Let see here, Flame thrower... Samurai Sword...Super Hydro-pump...AHA! Chainsaw!" he grinned as he pulled out the large dangerous weapon from the bottom of the bag. Then laughing like a maniac Alucard turned it on and attacked the blades of grass.
-xxxx-
One hour later
Humming as he walked Alucard approached the back door of Hellsing Manor. He had finished with the garden, which was in pristine condition, and now Alucard was ready for a cold blood bag and a soft coffin. Alas it would not be so, "Where do you think your going?" asked Integra, who was sitting on the back porch drinking tea. "To sleep. I'm done." Alucard answered, Integra looked at him skeptically, "So quick?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Alucard nodded, "Yes, Master I have finished with your garden ." he answered. Integra didn't weaver, "Let me see the list." she ordered, Alucard gave it to her.
"Lets see... Did you cut the grass?" she asked, "Yes." Alucard answered. "What about the hedges?" "Trimmed to perfection." Alucard grinned, Integra frowned. "The Flowers were watered?" "Of course." "And the pests were killed?" Alucard began to answer but stopped. "Uh...no." he answered sheepishly. Integra smiled, "I thought so. Now then I suggest you get back to work." she gave the list back to Alucard who snatched it from her hand annoyed. Grumbling he went to the garden shack to grab the poisons he would need, Integra on the other hand smiled as she took another sip of her tea.
-xxxx-
Alucard held out the gallon of bug killer to the rose bushes and began to spray them, as he worked his way down he heard an annoying little sound coming from somewhere in the garden. Munchmunchmunchmunch, Alucard stopped and looked around. He could see nothing, then the sound came again, munchmunchmunchmunch. Putting down the bug killer Alucard began to search the garden for the source of the sound, after 10 minutes of searching he saw a few yards away: A fat white rabbit eating flowers.
Alucard stood still staring at it, "You dare to defile the garden of my Master?" he asked, the rabbit didn't answer. Munchmunch. "Well then," Alucard continued "For that you will receive the penalty of death!" Alucard grinned as he pulled out his 13mm Jackal from his inner coat pocket. Taking careful aim he slipped his finger onto the trigger and pulled, Bang!
Unfortunately for Alucard the rabbit hopped away just before he could pull the trigger, so instead of blowing the rabbit's head off the bullet slipped harmlessly into the dirt. Alucard froze and stared the the spot where the rabbit once stood, "I missed." he whispered. A sudden rage filled his body, "You lucky bastard!" he roared pulled out his second pistol, "I'll blow you away and then I'll drink your blood!" Running after the rabbit Alucard began to fire the weapons in quick succession, not really caring about what he hit. Amazingly the rabbit was able to survive the barrage of bullets and escape into it's hole.
Alucard dived onto the ground the stuffed his pistol into the burrow and fired until the magazine ran dry. "Shit!" Alucard quickly stood up and began to pace around the hole pissed. You see the situation had evolved from a matter of his master's garden to a matter of his personal pride, from this point on letting the rabbit live would be a sign of weakness and showing weakness was not an option for Alucard. "How the hell do I kill him now? he asked himself, "I cant jump in the hole, cant reach him, cant shoot him..." he continued grumbling until finally his eyes lit up. "I got it! I'll blow him up!" Grinning Alucard ran off to Hellsing's armory.
-xxxx-
Seras Victoria approached Sir. Integra who was sitting at the small table drinking tea, "Good afternoon Sir. Integra." she said. "Good afternoon." Integra answered smiling, "I came to inform you that lunch is ready to be served." Seras said. "I see...um...What is it going to be today?" Integra asked. "Oh today we will be having Lasagna. I made it myself!" Seras beamed, Integra nodded "Alright let me finish my-" Just then the sound of a huge explosion erupted from the garden. "Good Heavens!" Integra exclaimed "What on earth was that?" She stood up from the table and went over to the steps as bits of dirt, rocks, and plants began to rain down from the sky. "I'm not sure, it seems like a bomb exploded or somth-" SPLAT!
The bloody hind quarters of a white rabbit fell on to the steps in front of the two women, Seras screamed and covered her eyes while Integra stared at the grizzly sight in shock. Slowly her shocked expression melted into one of rage, "ALUCAAAAAAAARD!" she yelled at the top of her lungs
End
A/N: No animals were harmed in the making of this Fanfic. (Except for the chicken we had for lunch. Mmmm, Yummy)
P.S. I have nothing against rabbits or other animals. :)