Gravitation

Angelic Conception

Warnings: slight angst, future m-preg, mention of NCS, mention of suicide attempts/thoughts, supernatural

Chapter 4: Osmotic Feelings

Shuichi ran. He ran and ran. He ran out of the hospital room. He ran down the hall past Hiro screaming after him. He ran down the stairs and through the lobby past the new receptionist, Suguru, arguing with a senile old woman. He burst through the automatic doors into the chilling night air. He ran through the parking lot and ran through the busy streets of Tokyo. His heart bled as he ran and he pushed faster. He ran over a man hole and through a market. He ran over a rickety wooden bridge and a pebble walk to collapse under a blooming Sakura tree.

His legs burned and muscles cramped. It felt as though blood had filled his lungs and he coughed to pull oxygen into his starving body. His light blue scrubs were soaked with a salty mixture of sweat and tears that continued to pour down his pale cheeks.

Breath coming easier allowing sobs to escape along with coughs he dragged his fatigued body to curl up among the roots of the graceful cherry tree. He clutched at his chest as pain raced through it with every shaking sob. As he curled into the cool bark flashbacks of his visit to Eiri assaulted his mind with a vengeance.

[Flash back]

"You remembered."

Images of his body pale and lifeless, with his shirt torn open to reveal the paddle assaulted skin of his chest clashed before his eyes. The frantic yells and shouts of nurses and doctors around him mixed with the lifeless tone of the heart monitor.

Yes, he remembered. He remembered the pain of violet eyes.

It was then that he fully looked at the boy in front of him. On closer inspection the boy was not a boy at all. Just barely into manhood Eiri observed that Shuichi had a slight, lithe frame with long delicate arms covered in strong capable muscles. His bright pink hair was tussled and sticking out at all angles lending a messy childishness to his other wise adult appearance.

Then Eiri's eyes landed on his face. Soft, tanned skin softened his messy ensemble and his full rose lips matched his blush as it spread across his cheeks.

His eyes... Eiri's throat began to close up and his heart gave a painful pound against his ribs. Shuichi's eyes were pure violet pools of caring innocents. Eiri could feel them bore into his own dead, golden ones with out mercy. He felt like an unworthy dirty intruder. He didn't deserve to look upon this creature's purity.

Movement of Shuichi's rose colored lips snapped him out of his reverie.

"How are you feeling?" Shuichi gazed upon the beautiful, internally dead man.

Eiri's eyes quickly averted from the pools of purity and he stared down at his own hands laying palm up in his lap. He felt dirty. His palms felt as if they were incrusted with grime filling in the creases of his pale skin. He hated them.

"How do you think I feel?"

All at once Shuichi was hit with a solid wall of emotion. He felt hatred inside of him so strong he could barely breathe. His whole body felt dirty and used. It felt as though death was assaulting his heart and soul with no progress. Shu's whole body was shaking and sweating with the strain of staying up right and not crumbling into itself.

Eiri raised his head and met Shuichi's frightened and pained gaze.

Shu's vision was filled with the image of a young, pale teen half naked and bleeding on a dirty, dank carpet. Shu's own body felt as if it had been ripped open and his very core had been sliced away to reveal raw and blistered flesh beneath.

His heart shattered as a thin trembling hand raised a loaded gun and pulled the trigger. Betrayal shot from the barrel as blood, thick as despair, oozed and soaked into the grungy carpet. Clutching his chest he felt his heart leak blood over his lungs as it shattered into his rib cage. It seemed as though hatred and self loathing filled every particle of Shu's being. His face grew pale and his pink locks clung to his fore head damp form sweat.

Just as he could no longer take the onslaught of emotions another wave of malice and miasmic lifelessness washed over him.

A single sentence penetrated his brain's every neuron. "I hate myself." Eiri's voice echoed in his head.

"Stop! Please! No more!" Shuichi collapsed to the cold tile floors, rivers of tears flowing hot and burning down his cheeks.

'I can't breathe. I can't breathe.' His mind screamed louder than a banshee. The air still thick with putrid emotions was pressing down on him, suffocating him. He had to get out.

Struggling to his feet Shuichi took one last look at the magnificent, sad man in the hospital bed. "I'm sorry. So sorry." And he ran.

[End]

Shuichi's body continued the onslaught of tears and pain exiting his tired shaking body.

Bare, tanned feet touched down on the soft crinkly grass. The tall robed angel slowly walked toward the frightened and pained man curled against the Sakura tree as pink blossoms drifted down around him. His sobs echoed in the dark night barely noticing the figure gliding towards him.

Gabriel kneeled down in front of Shuichi and waited till Shuichi raised his tear stained face. The angel gave him a gentle smile and raised his arms, palms up, in invitation.

Without hesitation and one last sniffle Shuichi hurled his self into the waiting arms of his angelic friend. Taken slightly by surprise Gabriel gasped with the force Shuichi put behind his clutching arms and heart wrenching cries. Schooling his surprise Gabriel gently closed his arms around the near hysterical man and allowed his cloud soft robe to be drenched in tears. His left hand rested on Shuichi's back and began to rub soothing circles over his shaking frame while his right hand tenderly petted Shuichi's bright pink hair.

A cool breeze washed over them and Shuichi began to heave in deep shaking breaths to calm his aching lungs. Gabriel let his grip grow tighter around his little friend and his wings began to open. They stretched out, flapped up and down a few times causing fallen cherry blossoms to swirl around them in a calming whirl wind. Gabriel smiled at the beautiful sight and lovingly wrapped his wings around them bringing healing and calming warmth to center on the shaking body wrapped around his torso.

Many moments passed and more cherry blossoms fell before Shuichi slowly began to pull away and straighten. Gabriel unwrapped his wings and gently let Shuichi slip from his embrace to sit in front the angel in a kneeling position to mirror his. Wiping his last few tears away from his cheeks Shu gave a sad laugh and opened his mouth to speak. The angel quickly lifted a hand and placed his index finger on Shu's slightly parted lips to silence him.

"Just close your eyes and listen to the night. Let it fill you and heal you. Look at the moon and the stars." Shuichi smiled and nodded before lifting his head and closing his eyes letting silky petals and star dust brush against his skin. Gabriel let his wings glide to a resting position, inside downy feathers facing the emerald grass, before taking Shuichi's hands in his and joining the young man in silent observation.

Shuichi felt the cool night breeze running through his hair like the fingers of a lover. The moon bathed his tear damp face in warm light to rival the sun and the stars silently sang to him lulling his unintentionally inflicted pain into blissful warmth. He let the soft, prickly grass tickle his ankles and feet. The pink Sakura petals swirled around in the loving breeze mixed with the star dust of the twinkling astral lights.

Taking a last breath to fill his lungs with cool, bright night air Shuichi slowly brought his head down to become level with Gabriel's and opened his once again clear violet eyes.

Gabriel gave him a warm comforting smile and released his hands. "Feel better?" Shuichi nodded and Gabriel continued. "I'm guessing the reason for your distress was the immense pain held within our Uesugi-san." Gabriel sighed. "That man has such turmoil within him it baffles even me!"

Shuichi gave a small laugh at the frustrated shout of his bouncy friend. The small smile was gone and his eyebrows drew together in concentration. "While I was visiting Eiri he had such self loathing in him it was frightening. All of his horribly sad emotions hit me like a ton of bricks I didn't know what happened!"

Gabriel sighed once again. "It seems that because of your connection with Eiri-san you are indeed severely more susceptible to his strong emotions than to others. I am surprised you didn't end up passing out."

Feeling fresh tears begin to well in his eyes at the memories of Eiri's inner pain Shuichi rubbed at his eyes before speaking again. "While I felt Eiri's emotions I saw... I saw... Well, I don't really know what I saw, but it hurt so badly. It was like being ripped open."

"Yes, what you saw were the memories that were flashing through Eiri's mind at the time to cause him to have such strong emotions. What you saw was the event that turned Eiri into what he is now."

His heart sank. Shu could still feel the pain of betrayal radiating through his chest. The angel lifted a graceful finger and poked Shuichi straight in the chest. "Now that you know what Eiri feels almost all the time you can help him even better than before!" Not getting the desired affect of happiness Gabriel sighed for the millionth time. "I know it still hurts, but it won't stop hurting till Eiri stops hurting. You won't feel it as acutely as him, but you will feel it. It will help you give him life."

Panic rose through the young, pink haired man. "What if this happens again next time I try to see Eiri? I won't be able to help him if I'm too over whelmed by his emotions! What will I do?"

Gabriel chuckled at the terrified look on his young friends face. "Calm down! You are not thinking straight. You can block out his emotions can't you?" Shuichi's light bulb flickered on and he nodded uncertainly. "You can block his like you block out other people. Only the strongest of his emotions will slip through your barrier so have no fear my naïve frightened friend. Now that you know what you are up against you are able to battle the enemy. Right?!"

Shuichi felt a new sense of justice flood through him. He has to help Eiri! He will help Eiri. He has the power and will to help the sad, but oh, so, gorgeous man and he will use any means possible to do it!

He jumped to his feet and thrust a fist up into the air. "Eiri, I will give you life!"

Eiri sat silently in a dark hospital room listening to the infernal beeps of his heart monitor. After the quick and dare he say startling departed of his so called "savior" Eiri had vowed to never speak to that infernal brat again.

It wasn't that he hated the poor kid it was just he seemed to have some wired affect on the punk. One second the kid was shy and innocent and the next his face was contorted in pain and despair riddled his features and mannerisms.

It was almost as if... as if he felt the same things... I did.

Eiri sighed and turned his head away from the window, turning his back on the scorching moon. What does that kid know about pain and despair? 'Nothing!'

Nothing... nothing... nothing...

5