The cold winter nipped at my nose as my finger held in the buzzer for Liv's apartment. Her mood all day had been a little off and I just wanted to check in on her, since her good for nothing partner was to busy with his perfect life to notice hers falling apart at the seems. After a few times I felt worry start to well inside me 'maybe shes just in the shower' I tried reasoning to myself why she wasn't answering. I'm sure she said she was going home. Moving onto the side walk I looked up and saw that none of her lights were on. Just then an old man came from inside the building and was wrestling to get the door open. Running over and helping him get the door open letting myself into the lobby.

'I'll just go and check' I said to myself as I walked into the apartment lobby after saying good day to the man.

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The sound of my buzzer going off startled me, the gun falling out of my hand and tumbling onto the tiled floor. Looking over to the divice that was making the noise i let out a sigh. Ignoring it seemed like a good idea but after a few minutes the noise started to bring on a headache I decided to get up. Right when I got up and got over to it the rude noise stopped, hoping that they just had the wrong apartment I made my way back to the kitchen. The spilt vodka soaked my feet as I walked to the gun and picked it up off the floor. Someone knocking on my door made me jump and slip on the vodka covered floor.

Fin's voice yelling at me to open the door was the next thing I remember as I look up at my kitchen ceiling. The cold vodka stinging the wound on my back and side. Letting out a curse, I brought my hand to my forehead and felt the warm and sticky liquid cover my fingers. Looking up at my counter I saw where I had hit my head on a corner I slowly got up. My side flared up reminding me of my previous injury. Letting out a groan I grabbed one of my kitchen towels and pressed it against my temple.

"Olivia? Are u ok?" I heard him yell as he started jiggling the door handle.

"Ugh, hang on a minute Fin." I yelled at him to stop him before he broke down my door. Making my way to my door i quickly unlocked it and yanked it open to revel a flustered looking Fin. His eyes wided at the sight of me 'must I look that bad?' i asked myself as he looked at my soaked shirt and pants and blood covered towel against my head.

"Spilt something on the floor and i slipped." I say in a joking manner as I opened the door wider for him to come in. I like Fin, he was like the older brother that i never had. Unlike any of the other guys I felt like I could tell him anything. Seeing his eyes wonder to the mess in the kitchen as we headed into the living room made me hope that the gun was somewhere hidden.

"Liv u should get that looked at." I heard Fin say as he walked up behind me as i slowly sat down on my couch. He pulled my hand away and lifted the blood stained towel. I could hear him grimace as looked at my head.

"I'm fine....." i said but the voice didn't seem like mine. A soft and far away sound seemed to come from my lips. Fin must have noticed it too as he looked at me and started saying something. His voice faded as the edges of my vision started to close in. The feeling of Fins arms wrapped around me was the last thing I remember before the darkness over came me.

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Silence was the only thing heard as we ate dinner. I missed this, when i actually saw my family at dinner and got to ask how their days were. But it has never been the same, Kathy refused to look at me across the table as we ate. She was furious and I begged for my phone to go off to pull me away from this torture. The kids could see that we were fighting as they ate silently afraid that any noise would set of a ticking time bomb.

'What happened to us?' my mind asked over and over again as i looked back through our history looking for an answer. Then her face popped into my head. The more i deny my feelings the more they attack my heart. Looking down at my mashed potatoes and meatloaf i felt sick to my stomach. No matter how hard i try my life always seems to be falling apart.

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I felt numb as i walked into our room and started to get undressed. Seeing Kathy in the bed already, her body curled up with the blankets wrapped around her. I slowly made my way under the covers and pulled her body up against mine. Hearing her sobs come out of her mouth made my heart break.

"What happened to us?" she asked as turned around and put her hand behind my head. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me harder. My lips lightly found hers as i looked into her eyes. Whipping away her tears i climbed on top of her and started to kiss down her neck. Hearing her moan egged me on. Breathlessly i kissed my way down her stomach and then back up to her lips. Our mouths molded against each other as my hand made its way to her breasts....then HER face popped in my head...the feeling of her body against mine in the hotel held at gun point....god damn....and i was aroused by it. 'Don't say her name out loud' forcing myself to look at Kathy's face I felt guilt attack my heart. 'Damn you Olivia'.....i felt as i started to make love to my wife, willing myself to not think about Olivia's body instead of Kathy's.