Chapter 4: Tears that can't run...

DISCLAIMER i DON'T OWN TWILIGHT SO THANKS OBAMA! HA HA HA HA KIDDING, I LOVE OBAMA! THAT SOUNDED WEIRD...

School has been pretty boring, Gina doesn't mess with me anymore so there goes my only source of entertainment. So now it's Saturday and I'm stuck at home while everyone is enjying time with their mates. I wish school could have distracted me from my mate, but it seemed everything just reminded me of him. Some guy will laugh in the hallway and my mind immediately thinks of Alec's. Some of the quarterbacks will start playy wrestling and I think of how he could always outsmart Felix in their little matches. It's all the some small things that just trigger the flood of emotions, all of the memories.

I sat back and read Alec's latest letter for what seems the fifth time today.

Dear Chloe.

I'm glad you like it and that was over three hundred years ago, I've moved on. I think it's good you joined school again, soon you'll not have to go anymore. You'll find that humans tend to challenge us, it's only because they feel threatened. Especially a girl as beautiful as you will threaten most people. You tell me if any boy hits on you, I swear I will hurt them so bad that their children will feel it. I miss you love and I am trying the best I can, it's just complicated. I promise I will never stop trying, one day we will be together. I don't want you to be upset, please it really hurts me to think I did that. I'm sorry my sweet... Please just say you can forgive me.

I'll always love you

Alec.

P.S.

My jokes are not that bad!

I just don't know how long I can wait for him, I just feel like I'm losing myself. I've never felt this alone since my parents died, he made me whole again. I just miss him so much, I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. Actually I'm not sorry, I miss him! I sighed and lugged my weight off my desk chair, deciding that it was about time I went for a hunt. I grabbed my hoodie and headed downstairs, trying not to focus on the cuddling couples. They were all watching some stupid Romcom, mostly making out than anything else. I tried to head out the door without being detected, sadly when you live with vampires that is impossible.

"Chloe?" Carlisle asked. I groaned mentally." Where are you going?" Can't you just slip and out of this house in piece?

"Hunting." I said. He nodded, giving me that little worried look on the side. He does that a lot nowadays, like I'm a mental patient. I slipped out the door, sprinting into the forest wildly. I ran faster than I ever have, just wanting to escape my own head. I found a mountain lion prowling on a baby deer, he he he he... Before the lion could pounce, I knocked it over and snapped it's neck. I drank slowly from it, feeling the life sap out of it. After I was done, I felt full. I walked through the forest, carefully picking my way though brambles. I could hear a waterfall up ahead, my thoughts just swarming with Alec.

Chloe... I snapped my head up, my senses on high alert. That's not possible.

"Alec?" I called out. I heard his laugh flow through the wind, almost like it wasn't there.

Chloe... I rushed forward trying to follow the sound of his voice. There was no scent, no vibration, nothing.

Come on Chloe... You can do better than that. It was coming from the waterfall, causing me to sprint like hell. I ran forward and made my way into the clearing.

" Alec? Seriously whoever is doing this it's not funny!" I called out. I heard a chuckle, a chuckle I know to well. I turned my head and what I saw made me gasp.

Alec was standing there, though it wasn't the Alec I knew. He was like a ghost, half there half not. I could see right through him, yet he still mesmerised me. He smiled softly at me, almost restarting my heart. I dared not to blink, wanting this not to disappear.

I told you I would come for you... I stepped closer, reaching out a quivering hand to touch him. Before I could I blinked, then he was completely gone. I lost it.

"Alec! NO NO NO! Come back... please..." I gripped at my hair and yelled out in frustration. I kicked and bashed stones, not trying to calm down. I only stopped when I heard human voices, deciding it would be sensible to sprint away. I ran through the forest, holding in my screams and anger. I got to the outskirts of the woods surrounding my house and a whole new emotion washed over me. Grief. I strode into the house, slamming the door so hard splinters came off. I tried to make my way to the stairs, only to be stopped by Jasper.

"Chloe what's wrong?" He asked. I gritted my teeth, in danger of exploding.

"Nothing." I said calmly. Alice tried to warn Jasper to just quit it but instead he gave me a stern look.

"Chloe you better tell or-" I growled and cut him off. Enough.

" OR WHAT?! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled at him. I stomped up the stairs, breaking into tears that can't run. I ran to my bedroom and sat on my bed, crying my heart out. I could hear my family discussing my outbreak downstairs, I'll probably apologise to Jazz later. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my head into them, feeling every single bit of sadness poor out of me.

I heard Bella tell them she would talk to me, seeing as she understood. Yeah well Edward did leave her but it gives her no permission to try and give me counselling. She knocked on my door in a matter of minutes.

"Chloe sweetie open up..." she pleaded. I carried on to cry, feeling my soul break into a million pieces. I don't care about the world at this point, he was just so close... Then he was gone. Ripped away from me, just like the last time. Bella opened the door and sat down next to me, cuddling me as I cried. After what seemed liked hours, the sobs lessened until they finally stopped. I sniffed dryly, almost feeling Bella's question. "What happened sweetie?"

"I-I saw h-him... But it wasn't really him, it was like a hallucination." I confided, knowing the whole house was listening. She stroked my hair, comforting me.

"I used to get those when Edward left. It only happened when I was being reckless, so I tried to put myself in danger. I just wanted to see him." She said wistfully.

"How is this meant to help?" I asked. She smiled gently, playing with my curls.

"You tell me. Chloe you can't be so determined to distract yourself. He's your mate and frankly you're missing someone who gets you better than yourself. I'm sorry to break it to you but you shall never be happy unless he's back." She said bluntly. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for making me feel better..."