AN: AREN'T YOU EXCITD FOR THE UPCOMING TRIAL, WELL I AM HAHA THANK YOU ALL MY FAITHFUL FOLLLOOWWEERRRSSSSSSSSRSRSRSSRSRS
It was time. Time for the school trial.
Monobear locked us in the Dining Hall and dimmed the lights and began reciting these strange poems about hope and despair while wearing a Halloween mask.
"Alright yo homedawgs now fight about hope/despare, ill be over here making u dummiez dum kool aid." he swaggered into the kitchen and we began the trial.
"OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EXCITING I CANNT BELIEVE WE'RE ACTUALLY IN A SCHOOL TRIAL GIVE ME A T, GIVE ME AN R, GIVE ME AND I, A, L, YOU HAVE TRIAL!1" Angelica swooned romantically. The rest of us exchanged conical glances.
"Well… I'm going to start things off." Luna charmingly took the lead. "From what I can tell… the murder weapon was…"
Robby cut her off. "Two swords wedged into the body like angel wings, right!? Do I get candy?!"
Coldran has a sly smirk. "Oh… but was it really?"
BEGIN NONSTOP DISCUSSION DEBATE
ANGELA: Give me an S! Give me a W! Give me a O-R too! End it with a D and you have the murder weapon! S-W-U-R-D! SWORD!"
TIFFANY: Please shut up. Maybe someone should shove sand down your throat.
LUNA: That would be interesting, I suppose… But is the sword really the murder weapon?
FELICITY: Groan… people…
TRENT: I dunno guys. This mystery is apparently far too complex for any of us to solve…
I-ANGEL: I'm dead. I hate being dead… Grooann
ROBBY: Well? Do I get my prize yet? The sword is the murder weapon, after all.
No. Something doesn't add up here…
[fast forward]
TIFFANY: Maybe someone should shove [sand] down your throat. (extracted.)
[fast forward]
ROBBY: Well? Do I get my prize yet? [The sword] is the murder weapon after all. (BOOOMMMM!)
ALDREW: YOUVE GOT TEH WRONG!
END NONSTOP DISCUSSION
"No you stupid idiot there was sand stuffed down her shirt and the swords only pierced that; obviously that was intended as a red herring." I said wisely.
"Whoops!" Robby said, chomping his buck teeth stupidly.
"Well?" Trent quacked. "So who's the culprit?"
Luna smiled. "The real murder weapon was… sand shoved down her throat, oddly enough.
Le Gasp!
"And so anything involving the swords is a red herring."
Double le gasp!
Coldran smiled. "I knew it! Now… everything makes sense."
"OBJECTION!" Felicity rocketed forth from her seat and slapped Coldran! "I DON'T AGREE, ONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
MACHINE GUN TALK BATTLE START
FELICITY: None of this makes any sense. How do you explain the letter she held? The dying message? The… Duck booby trap. I DONT SEE HOW YOU'RE USING LOGIC SO PLEASE STOP IT, YOU PEOPLE TRULY ARE SCARING ME YOU NARCESTS.
COLDRAN: Please, Felicity, if you would just calm down and let the intelligent people deal with it, then it would all end up okay.
BREAK!
"Okay… fine." Felicity apologized and went back to hating us quietly.
"Well… anyways." I said triumphantly. "Now that we've established the murder weapon was sand, it's safe to assume those bits of wet sand were down her throat, and she gagged them back up." The rest of the class nodded, because of my perfect reasoning. I flicked my hair back in a passive-aggresive manner. Yeah.
Colran nodded. "It's all starting to make sense. The culprit called that stupid idiot to the beach and she was crying because the culprit called her something mean in the letter. Which I personally think is a little funny… but whatever." He explained to the stupid people in the class.
Tiffany groaned. "Honestly, this trial has no pace, the evidence is really iffy, and the characters are saying distracting things, which detract from the overall experience. Can't we just move past this…"
Luna: "Well… we're going to die if we don't. So anyways. Let's focus on something we can speculate on. The dying message."
"Well…" I pondered. "It's written in some other language, right? I intensely glared at the other students with my crystalline, aquatic aquamarine eyes, which seemed to sparkle in the dim lighting. My flawless, porcelain skin rounded out the moneymaking face which captivated everyone.
Angela jumped for joy! "Yeah! I'll recite it for you guys! Give me a p! Give me an ē! Give me an ñ-ç-i-ł! Give me an ß! Give me an h! Give me an å! Give me a v! Give an į-ń-g and conclude it with an s! pēñçił ßhåvįńgs!" She recited it.
"r G DXS3WQAERSW" Said Abe, the Furfrou in Robby's copy of Pokemon X…
"Robby, this is no time for Pokemon games." We lectured.
Nooo!" Rooby squealed.
"Anyways, what the hell does the dying message mean?" Trent said impatiently.
"It's using some code, I'm sure of it. Let me think about it… I'm sure I can figure it out." I said, sure of myself. Suddenly, I began looking into space, while time itself around me was suspended.
LOGICAL DIVE: BEGIN!
Sudenly, I was on a surfboard, coasting along this green and yellow track. There were blue pieces of pie blocking my way! I coasted a while, and another while, then suddely, someone asked me a question.
Is the dying message written in English? Yes No
No
I lived. Then the next question.
Does the dying message use variants of English letters? Yes No
Yes
I lived. Then the next question.
Does the dying message pertain to someone's talent? Yes No
Yes
Then the track became white and pink.
Results:
1. Correct
2. Correct
3. Correct
LOGICAL DIVE COMPLETE!
"I've got it!" Says I. "The Dying message is just a bunch of alternative letters, which pertain to someone's talent. Now. Coldran? What do you think it means?"
Coldran looked perplexed. "I'm not sure."
Robby clapped. "Yay! I got a female Bulbasaur! Now it can reproduce and we can have, like, little bulbasaur babies."
…
…
…
"Anyways." Cldran snapped. Just give me a second. I think I'll figured it out.
FLASHING ANAGRAM BEGIN!
P_
PE_
PEN_
PENC_
PENCI_
PENCIL
PENCIL S_
PENCIL SH_
PENCIL SHA_
PENCIL SHAV_
PENCIL SHAVI_
PENCIL SHAVIN_
PENCIL SHAVING_
PENCIL SHAVINGS
I'VE GOT IT!
FLASHING ANAGRAM COMPLETE
"It means… pencil shavings?!" Everyone looked AT Trent.
"Wait!" He quacked. "Someone probably put that just to frame me!"
"Trent is the culprit! Trent is the culprit! T-R-E-N-T! It's a shame to be! T-R-E-N-T!" Angelica shouted exdubertunly.
"Gotcha! The wild Trent was caught!" Robby squealed.
"Hm… it does seem that way." Luna nodded observantly.
"Well… I think it could've framed him." Tiffany observed. "Trust me. I put stuff like that in my trials when I write my story."
"Well… let's discuss it more then." I said open-mindedly, because Tiffany is actually competent.
NONSTOP DISCUSSION DEBATE BEGIN!
Evidence Bullets
-Red herring murder weapon
-Coldran's Forgiveness
-Dying Message
-State of I-Angel's body
-Luna's Makeup
TRENT: I don't really understand why I'm a suspect! That evidence is too vague!
ANGELICA: Honey, it's because the message pertains to your talent
LUNA: I don't think there's any other evidence supporting him as the culprit.
FELICITY: Wrong! There's the rubber duck booby trap! Obviously, only Trent could've put that there. When he went and got the swords?
TIFFANY: Why are the nonstop debates in script format?
COLDRAN: You guys need to give it up. It wasn't Trent.
ROBBY: I dunno man. That bobby trap is pretty clear. Also, the tides are important to this case I think.
No. I think I spotted a contradiction in someone's argument.
Evidence Bullet: Red herring murder weapon
[fast forward]
FELICITY: Wrong! There's a rubber duck booby trap! Obviously, only Trent could've put that there. When he went and got the swords?
YOU'VE GOT TEH WRONG!
"No, you idiot, we've already established that anything pertaining to the swords is a red herring, so that means the rubber duck booby trap was set up to look like he did it." I lectured, and Felicity began to cry.
"So… this is boring. Do you want me to tell you who did it?" Luna said, batting her purple eyelashes.
We all nodded.
"Well, someone on somethingawful spoiler tagged the culprit which they googled in the Super Ultra Dangan Ronpa 3 synopsis. It can only be you." She pointed at someone! Then I realized another evidence.
CHOOSE A CULPRIT!
-Aldrew
-Coldran
-Luna
-Tiffany
[Felicity]
-Robby
-Trent
-Angelica
"Felicity, it's you. I know it was you because how did you know about the ducks when you sat on the beach crying the whole time. I was investigating…" I explained. Caught em.
"Pfft, fine. Lol, whatever bitches." Folicity admitted to her sins.
"WAIT let's go over the events one more time." Coldran cautioned. "Okay, here goes."
CLIMAX INFERENCE
Felicity like sent I-Angel an invitation to build sand castles, but then choked her with sand and stuffed her shirt with sand. Then she took swords from the sword place, which she booby trapped with ducks to make it look like Trent did it. Then she stabbed the ducks into the sand, and tied it all together with i-angel's headphones hahaha. Then wrote a dying message in an attempt to frame her. Yup.
COMPLETE!
"Lol, u dum bitch herez ur execution." Monobear squealed.
Then Felicity was put on a horse on a merry go round, but then the merry go round started to to spin around and around really fast and I flicked back my gorgeous hair. Then it fell into my eyes again, and when I revealed my sparkling eyes once more, she was dead. Haha
AN: WAS IT GOOD WAS IT GOOD