Summary; NHL hockey player Edward Masen met Bella Swan when she was seventeen years old and they instantly fell in love. But when things get too complicated for him he bails, little does he know she finds out she's pregnant. But that doesn't change anything for Edward who wants to focus on his career, wait did I mention that he doesn't know a thing?

Bella Swan
December 16th

After running out of the locker rooms I ran to my car knowing that I was to hysterical to even try and start my drive back to Jersey that night. I wasn't sure how long I sat there when I heard a knock on my window, causing me to jump a little and roll the window down as I came face to face with Sidney. "Are you okay?" he asked me and I sniffed a moment before looking at him.

"I don't know" I sniffed again as I ran my hand through my hair which was now matted to my face. "I just, I don't know what I'm going to do now, this is all too complicated." He moved around to the passenger's side of my vehicle and climbed in as I rolled the window up.

"Maybe you should talk to him, just talk to him. I can't make this much worse. But Bella if you do please don't hurt him, these last six years have been horrible for him and finding out that he's a father, he just he feels betrayed by everyone." He said and I looked at him a moment.

"You know I felt that way the moment Edward broke up with me. He was the first good thing that happened to me since my parents died and I never wanted that good thing to go away, but they all do sometime. I remember sitting in my room for hours on end at times just staring at the ceiling thinking 'why me, what did I do to deserve this' but I never really got an answer to any of my questions." I said and he looked at me "I found out a month after we broke up that I was pregnant with Logan, and I didn't want to do anything to make Edward and everyone else think that I was just trying to pull something to make him stay. So I decided at first that Logan was going to be mine, only mine and that was that, but well I was obviously convinced not long after that I had to tell him even if he wanted nothing to do with us."

Sidney didn't say anything for a moment, and I wasn't sure if I expected him to say anything but he looked like he was deep in thought. "You know for next year after Edward ended things with you he wasn't really the person I had remembered, the one who was always laughing and had a smile on his face, the one who wouldn't let anyone touch him in a fight, and the guy who always had something to say even if it wasn't important." He said and I looked him "I wasn't sure that he would ever be the same, but one day sometime around Thanksgiving he showed up at the arena he looked like he had finally gone back to normal. I'm not sure what it was that made him change his mind but he did and it seemed like he had finally put the past behind him." Sidney said taking a breath. "He still loves you Bella, even behind the masquerade I can tell that his whole world revolves around how much he thinks of you."

"I can't live up to a standard such as that Sidney, what you're telling me, well you're telling me that I'm his ideal, the only think he can think about, the thing most perfect in his life, but I can't be that thing. I'm different now, I have a child to take care of, a café that I love being at, and I can't just randomly pack up my life and leave, I have responsibilities, I'm not a silly little seventeen year old girl anymore."

We didn't say anything for a minute and my cell phone started ringing but I ignored it looking at Sidney. "I should be getting home, I have to pick up Logan tonight, he has school in the morning and then hockey later in the evening, I have a long drive and a busy day ahead of me." I said and he nodded.

"Bella, he's staying at the Hilton hotel in Hoboken, and he'll be there until after New Years, the forth, and I'm sure that he would love to spend the holidays with you." He said causing me to look at him. "Just think about it"

It took me another five minutes or so before I got the courage enough to shove the keys into the ignition and start off back toward Jersey, but there was something that made me do it, something almost important.

Edward Cullen
December 16th

I wasn't sure what I thought about what I wanted in life anymore. Before I found out that I had a family all I wanted to do was play hockey, it may be my career but it was also something I loved and something that I didn't want to stop. Once I found out about Logan, I just wanted to be with my son, sure I could play hockey, but the most important thing is to be with my son and maybe if it was ever possible be with Bella again. After last night my dreams were finished, she didn't want me, she didn't care and I was the idiot standing in the road looking out at what he missed.

I sat in my hotel room looking into the closet where my empty suit case was sitting, there was nothing here for me anymore, and I needed to go home. I knew now that Pittsburgh was my home, there was no place for me in New Jersey, that the state wasn't big enough for Bella and me and I would just have to get over that. "This room is making me crazy, I need to get out of here." I said to myself and I grabbed my jacket and wallet before walking out of my room.

I remember when I was fifteen, and I had finally gotten my license and I didn't have to rely on my parent's driver taking me everywhere. I was finally able to do whatever I want, and with my screwed up life all I wanted to do was play hockey. No matter the problem I was always at that hockey arena, from a bad grade on a math test, to another missed birthday by the parents who didn't care hockey was always there for me, and now I was thinking of running away from it.

Somehow I found my way back to the hockey arena where my heart finished breaking the night before. "You looking for something, you seem lost?" a girl at the front said.

"Um, I was looking to see if I could get some ice time, as well as rent some skates and a stick and pucks." I said and she looked at me and nodded as she walked into the room where everything was perfectly laid out.

"You look like someone with a problem; I remember back when I played there was me and another kid who were always at the arena when something was wrong. God I loved those days." She said and I looked at her.

She had this long brown hair that fell to the middle of her back, and this crazy familiar face that I couldn't exactly place. She had these hazel eyes set perfectly between her nose, and I knew I knew her from somewhere, then it came to me. "Olivia? Olivia Delgado?" I asked and stared at me.

"Well Edward Masen as I live and breathe, I thought you were playing hockey in Pittsburgh after you left school." She said and I nodded.

"Yeah, I did but certain events have brought me to Hoboken." I said and she looked at me. I didn't want to say anything, this was a place where Bella and her son spent so much of their time and I couldn't make things awkward. "But I just wanted some ice time, to clear my head." I said and she nodded.

"I can give you an hour before the little league team comes on the ice, but after that were full up." She said and I nodded taking the skates, the stick, and the pucks she put on the table as she swiped my credit card and pointed me to the entrance of the ice. I skated onto the ice setting the bucket down, slap, a puck went flying into the goal, for the stupidity I had to ever come here. Slap, for ever believing that I could trust Emmett, slap, for being suck an idiot and believing that Bella would ever believe me, slap, for how I was such and idiot and I wanted my life back. By the time I finished the bucket I looked around, people were starting to come inside, getting their kids ready for practice and looking at the NHL hockey player who was shooting pucks at a town's community center ice arena.

I skated over picking up the pucks and putting them in the bucket before I skated off to tie my shoes back on. "Sorry ma'am" I said as I collided with a woman and her son. I looked up and bit my lip as I noticed who it was. "Hi"

"Edward Cullen, what are you doing here? Are you the reason that Bella fled this morning?" Esme Cullen asked me and I looked at her "We haven't been able to get a hold of her, she came to brunch this morning and dropped Logan off and left, we don't know where she went." She said as I looked around for the little boy that I knew was my son. "He's in the locker room if you're looking for him." She said and I nodded.

"I'm sorry about everything Esme, I never meant to hurt Bella and I know that did, I'm such an idiot." I said as my phone started to ring from my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at it, "Um, would you excuse me for a minute." She nodded and I hit the green button and held it up to my ear. "What's up Sidney?"

"She was here"

"Excuse me?"

"She was here, she walked into the locker room around five and gave Emmett a piece of her mind. She slapped him across the face and even tried to beat his ass twice but I held her back. She was here in Pittsburgh because she wanted to know the truth, and let me tell you she's distraught about the whole thing, she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know if she wants to let you in, she's afraid that you're going to come back into the picture and leave when things start getting old. All she said is that she doesn't know, she's on her way back to Jersey now and I tried to get her to go and talk to you, but I don't know if she is going to." He said and I spun around in a circle.

"What the hell did he say, I mean, I don't even know what I mean, but can I call you back, I really have to go." I said hanging up and turning back to Esme.

"Someone important?" she asked

"One of the players on the team, Sidney, he called to tell me that Bella showed up at the arena in Pittsburgh during practice and gave Emmett a run for his money." I said and she looked at me. "I should explain, do you want to get something to eat and I'll explain things?" I asked and she nodded as the coaches got practice started.

An hour later, and after a lot of explaining Esme Cullen was staring at me awestruck. "So you're telling me that you broke up with Bella because Emmett persuaded you that she was getting in the way of your career and you needed to focus. Then you never knew that Bella had driven to Pittsburgh to give you that letter and Emmett has had it the whole time until a matter of days ago when you found out that you were a father to a five year old little boy? Does Bella know any of this?" she asked and I shrugged.

"I found her here at the arena last night after Logan's game and I tried to tell her but I don't think she believed me, at least not until she turned up in Pittsburgh this afternoon and demanded the truth from Emmett. I guess she slapped him across the face and tried to hit him a couple times before Sidney grabbed her to stop her."

Esme didn't say anything as we sat there but she shook her head. I wasn't sure what she thought, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what she thought. Right now things were really screwed up, and all I had was the hope that she just might come and talk to me, because she knew the truth. "Thank you for explaining everything to me Edward, but I need to get Logan from practice, and you should really try and find Bella and explain this to her, she needs to know the truth." She said and I nodded.

"Thank you for listening Esme" I said and she nodded picking up her coffee and walking toward the stairs where Logan was waiting for her, changed and with his hockey bag in hand.

"Looks like things went well" Olivia said as she sat across from me at the table, I nodded. "I didn't mean to eve's drop, but when the hell were you ever in involved with Bella Swan?" she asked me and I laughed.

"I was twenty, we had met in Pittsburgh and we kind of hit it off. She was seventeen and though she was young I knew that she was everything to me."

"What happened?"

I looked at her and took a sip of my coffee "I let hockey get in the way. I let Emmett convince me that it had to be the only thing in my life, and that she was getting in my way at being great. So I was an idiot, listened to him, and broke up with her not long after."

"Wait, Emmett was the one who told you to break up with her? That sounds nothing like the Emmett I used to know."

"You wouldn't recognize him now then, everything about the world we live in has changed him. He even kept from me that I had a kid, Bella got pregnant and she came to tell me, she had a letter and she asked Emmett to give it to me but he kept it, thinking that I was better off without it because she was probably never going to keep the kid anyway. But as you can see, Logan is alive and healthy, Emmett was completely wrong."

She sat there for a moment, "I never thought that he would do something like that, not to you at least, and maybe you're right, maybe the world you live in does change people. My husband Jake used to play for the Chicago Blackhawks, but was injured in his first season of playing, an injury that will never let him play professional hockey again. He loved everything about playing professional, but when he came back down to earth and moved back home with his dad, he met me and I think he realized that he didn't need hockey to be happy, he just needed to be happy. He coaches Logan's team, and Logan is the best little defensemen we've seen around here in ages."

I smiled; it was nice to think that Bella let him do something because he wanted to. That she didn't stop him from playing because hockey was what tore us apart. That she let him play without anything else getting in the way and that was all the counted right now. I loved the thought of having a family, of actually being with her in more ways than one, and I hoped that maybe one day we could come to that moment and she would actually be mine, for good.

Authors Note: sorry that this update has taken so long, I've seriously written and rewritten this chapter like three times because I wasn't happy with it, and I've finally found something I'm happy with. Remember I like reviews, they make me happy.