Teachers From Hell!

I don't own the places these characters come from.

-.-'

Jack stared blankly at the packet in his hand. "What is a condom for?" He asked Takal. Takal fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair. The class giggled.

"Uh.. You put it on your 'cannon' before you shoot it in someone's 'port hole'." Jack still had a blank expression on his face.

"How is THIS-" he held up the packet -"supposed to cover MY cannon? It looks MUCH too small." The class roared in laughter. Takal, with a half embarassed, half shocked expression on her face, walked up to Jack and whispered something in his ear.

"Oh.." Jack said when she finished explaining. "You open it-" he tore open the packet and took the rubber item out- "and slide it over your manhood!" The class' eyes got wider. At that awkward moment, a boy with spiky white hair and brown eyes walked in the class room. He "I'm here to take 'Luna' to the cafeteria." He said, reading off a piece of paper. Luna picked up her back pack and walked out the door.

"Takal.. was that.. Bakura?" Fray whispered to Takal.

"I.. I think so." Takal whispered back.

-.-'

Luna walked down the near-empty hallway with the white haired boy.

"So.. Who are you?" Luna asked.

"I'm Ryou, the counselor." He paused and a weird expression came across his face. "And if you have a problem, suck it up. I don't give a shit." Luna looked at him funny. The counselor gave a small cough. "Excuse me- I let that slip out."

"Okaay.." Luna said. When they reached the cafeteria, they heard someone yelling.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FOOD IS BURNED?! IT'S JUST A LITTLE BLACKENED!!" Luna and Ryou walked in to see Axel wearing his usual Organization XIII black cloak and suprisingly, a hair net and a white apron. He was holding a metal tray of charred food in his hands.

"Your volunteer is here." Ryou said nicely. Axel's green eyes flashed towards Luna. Ryou walked away, leaving Luna standing there.

"Yeah, well, we need to cook the chicken, pasta and.." He thought for a moment. "..burgers. Got it memorized?"

"Yep!" Luna chimed, following Axel into the kitchen.

-.-'

Jack brought out an already-opened box from behind his desk. It was labeled 'Trojan'.

"My other two classes wouldn't tell me what these were.." He grabbed a handful of condom packets. "So I figured that I should be givin' these out to ye." He slapped one on a student's desk he was standing close to with a chuckle. "How busy can I get? I just need some rum.. Rum would be great right now.. And a pretty girl.." He slapped a condom on the next desk.

-.-'

Axel concentrated on the marinated chicken and hamburger meat set in a frying pan in front of him. He lifted up his arms, calling on his power of fire. A low flame simmered at the bottom of the frying pan. After about a minute, Luna turned the pieces of meat over.

"Hey, Axel." Luna began.

"What?" Axel asked, maintaining the steady stream of fire under the frying pan.

"Who else from the Organization is here?"

"There's Mansex, Bigrax (Xigbar), Demyx and Zexion." Hm. An emo and a trigger-happy lunatic. Luna egan to wonder what classes they teached.

"Why are you guys here?"

"We were gambling with Luxord, and whoever lost had to teach here... I'm gonna kill him when I get back." Axel vowed, pretending to strangle an invisible Luxord. The flame bursted upward and torched the ceiling- right next to a head of an automatic sprinkler. The fire bell began to rain, and more sprinklers in the cafeteria went off. "Shit." Axel said with a very unhappy look on his face.

-.-'

Takal and Fray jolted in their seat when they heard the fire bell.

"Line up on the wall, children." Jack said, trying to maintain order. He opened the door and let everyone out, where he escorted them out to the track. When Takal and Fray were outside, they looked around for Luna.

"Hey." Takal said, nuging Fray.

"Huh?" Fray replied.

"Orochimaru's here."

"What? Where?!" Fray stepped on her tip-toes and looked around.

"Over there!"

"Where?" Takal grabbed Fray's head and pulled it in the right direction. "Oh.. And Kabuto's next to 'im!"

"We must warn the little boys!" Takal exclaimed, snapping her head in a different direction. "IS THAT SEPHIROTH?!"

-.-'

"Nice going, you dipshit." Luna said to Axel when they were outside.

"Have some respect!" Axel growled, whacking Luna in the back of the head with his fist.

"Axel.." A familiar voice hissed. Luna turned to see who it was.

-.-'

I'm starting to hate my own cliff hangers... Anyhoo.. I'm going to be headin' home Tuesday? Yeah, I think so.. Read and review!