What I Want
A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. Work has been absolutely crazy! You'll probably notice that Sebastian's 'back story' section is much longer this time. It probably will be for at least the next two chapters as well. Time to really get into his past.
Chapter 4 – Jealousy
Sebastian kicked open the door and ran into the abandoned warehouse. It took him only moments to spot Sean Meunier shirtless and chained to the fall wall. Math equations were scrawled all over his skin in bright red permanent marker and he wore a terrified expression on his handsome face.
"Don't worry, I'm going to get you out of here," Sebastian promised as he sprinted across the cavernous room.
"No wait, look out! He's behind you!" Sean shouted with a wild eyed look.
Sebastian spun around just in time to catch a glimpse of the oversized graphing calculator as it connected with the side of his head, instantly knocking him to the ground.
"So you thought you could stop me from fucking Sean, eh Smythe?" Carter Harris sneered as he towered over Sebastian. "Think again, nerd."
"I will stop you, Harris!" Sebastian spat back from his position on the ground.
"How are you going to do that, bitch? You're on the ground and I've got the calculator," Carter taunted as he raised his arm to strike Sebastian with the ever-growing, now massive object.
"I'm going to foil your plans, that's how!" Sebastian shouted as he rolled out of the way and then leaped to his feet. "FOIL! First! Outer! Inner! Last!" Sebastian chanted as a wave of multicolored parentheses shot from his fingertips and zapped Carter, causing him to briefly flash red before disappearing in a poof of variables.
"You saved me, Seb!" Sean gushed as Sebastian unchained him from the wall and then bent him backward, kissing him deeply and passionately.
"Will you be my boyfriend, Sean?" Sebastian asked as he broke the kiss and stared into Sean's dark blue eyes.
"Of course, Seb. Just tell me the answer to number seventeen," Sean responded as he morphed into Mr. Heller, Sebastian's Advanced Algebra teacher.
"What!?" Sebastian exclaimed as he released Sean/Mr. Heller and watched as he fell to the floor in slow motion.
"What is your answer for number seventeen, Mr. Smythe?" Mr. Heller demanded as he rapped on Sebastian desktop with his dry erase marker.
"I don't know!" Sebastian exclaimed frantically as his head snapped up and he looked around in confusion. From the next aisle over he could see Carter Harris snickering as he passed a note to Sean Meunier.
"If you don't know how to do the assignments, then perhaps you shouldn't sleep in my class," Mr. Heller said dryly as he turned around to walk away.
Finally processing the question and what was going on in the class Sebastian started to regain his composure. He glanced at his homework, found number seventeen, and confidently read off his answer just as Mr. Heller was about to call on someone else. "3X^2-6X+8"
"And how did you get that answer?" Mr. Heller inquired in an bored, condescending voice, refusing to let Sebastian off the hook even though he was secretly impressed that his laziest pupil also happened to be one of his most capable.
"I used the FOIL method," Sebastian said with a smirk. "First. Outer. Inner. Last."
To Sebastian's intense disappointment Carter Harris did not disappear in a cloud of variables as he revealed his tactic.
After class Sebastian was pleasantly surprised when Sean draped an arm over his shoulders on their way out of the room. His delight at being touched by his attractive crush was further intensified by the scowl that quickly formed on Carter's face in response as he walked on the other side of Sean.
"I'm impressed, Sebastian," Sean commented as he gave his classmate his most charming smile.
"Then my life is truly worth living, Sean," Sebastian responded in a lightly teasing, gracious voice as he tried to ignore the butterflies Sean's smile was causing. "But why are you impressed?"
Sean let out a small, deep laugh, the same one that Carter, in a moment of passion, had once told him made his cock throb. Sean hoped very much that it would have a similar effect on Sebastian. "Because you fell asleep in class but still managed to get the answer right when you were called on."
In that instant Sebastian thought of several clever lines that he could use, subtle ways of flirting with Sean and pissing Carter off, but unfortunately as the full weight of Sean's dark blue eyes came to bear on Sebastian he felt his stomach somersaulting so much he thought he might actually be sick, and all he could do was mumble, "Thanks," as his cheeks burned.
Sean was truly a gorgeous guy. Sebastian had decided that he was the best looking guy he had ever seen in real life. He was tall, broad shouldered with a lean but athletic build. He also had the most beautiful dark blue eyes that Sebastian had ever seen, eyes that were made all the more striking by the casually styled blond hair that framed his face. Much to the disappointment of nearly every one of their female classmates Sean was also openly gay. Sebastian and Carter were the only two other openly gay guys in their freshman class and since Carter and Sean were already together that gave Sebastian more than enough reason to hate Carter. Why Carter also seemed to hate him in return Sebastian really couldn't say, but it certainly didn't bother him.
"I'm having a little get together on Saturday at my house. You should come," Sean said politely as he continued giving Sebastian his trademark smile. Then he leaned in close to Sebastian's ear, close enough, he hoped, that Carter couldn't make out what he was about to say. "I really want you to come, Seb."
With his words still ringing in Sebastian's ears, Sean smiled at him again before turning and pressing a quick, casual kiss to Carter's lips, and then walking away in the direction of his next class.
Sebastian was now half-hard just at the thought of what Sean had said to him; however, one glance at a seething Carter Harris had him rapidly deflating. Sebastian decided it was just as well since he didn't want to walk around campus with an erection. He idly wondered if he should snap a picture of Carter's face for the next time a spontaneous, unwanted boner started to occur.
"Stay away from him or I'll scratch your eyes out," Carter threatened as he glared at Sebastian.
"Try it and you won't have any fingers left," Sebastian countered calmly before pushing past the smaller guy, connecting their shoulders in a not so subtle show of intimidation before briefly turning around and calling back, "And get some new threats for godsake. You sound like the evil bitch character in every romantic comedy for the past ten years."
-000-
Saturday night Sebastian arrived at the Meunier residence at the appointed time. He rang the doorbell and then knocked, but received no response from either effort. Since he could hear the hum of music and voices on the other side of the door he finally decided to try the knob. Finding it unlocked he tentatively opened the door. As soon as he did he was assaulted by a den of blaring music.
"Hey, it's the other gay kid," an upperclassman commented as he walked by the now open front door on his way to another part of the house with his girlfriend. Considering the way that they were hanging on each other Sebastian suspected that nearly any room would suit their purposes as long as it had a door that closed.
"Don't be rude, Ben," the girl chastised.
"I wasn't being rude," Ben defended himself. "I was just saying."
"Yeah but you're not supposed to just label people by their sexuality. He's a person, besides we're in that other gay kid's home," the girl went on, apparently seeing no contradiction in her words. She turned to Sebastian and smiled. "My cousin Greg is gay, so I understand how it is. Do you know Greg?"
Sebastian rolled his eyes as the obviously drunk girl stumbled backward against Ben.
"No, I didn't get my big, gay directory this year so I must have missed him," Sebastian responded sarcastically before shaking his head and waving his arms dramatically. "The postal system is so inept."
"Yeah, and they always bend the magazines," Ben interjected as he finished his beer and then glanced at the now-empty can in dismay.
"So where's Sean?" Sebastian cut in, deciding that he had had more than enough small talk with the couple.
"Who's Sean?" the girl inquired as she steadied herself on her boyfriend's arm.
"The other gay kid," Sebastian clarified.
"Ohh, I think he's in the living room," she answered pointing. "There's like a couch or something."
"That should certainly help me identify the room then, thank you," Sebastian remarked as he walked in the direction that she had indicated.
As he entered the room in question Sebastian quickly realized that the girl's mentioning of 'the couch' had probably been more of a reference to Sean's exact location versus a description of what a living room looked like. There on the center of what was actually a very large chaise longue, surrounded by other noisy people, was Sean Meunier looking almost obscenely hot in a snug, black v-neck t-shirt. His blond hair was mussed and styled in a way that looked casual but almost certainly took quite a bit of effort to achieve. Unfortunately Sean didn't just have people sitting around him, he actually had one sitting on him. Carter Harris was perched on his boyfriend's lap smirking and looking satisfied in a way that could only be designed to make all the straight girls, and now Sebastian as well, jealous.
Sebastian frowned. He was really starting to hate this boy. Deciding that if he was going to approach the couple he was going to do it right, Sebastian scowled at Carter and then turned around and left the room before Sean had a chance to spot him. He stepped into the hall bathroom and carefully appraised himself in the mirror. He had dressed nicely, but since he expected mostly straight people at the party he had downplayed his style slightly. Upon reflection Sebastian decided that pissing off Carter and perhaps impressing Sean was well worth any snide comments he might get from the occasional homophobe. He unbuttoned two more buttons on his shirt, rolled his sleeves up a little bit further, and then ran his hands vigorously through his hair a few times, changing his style from clean cut and classic to something more akin to Sean's tousled look.
As soon as he reappeared Carter frowned and rolled his eyes. This time however, Sean also noticed him and Sebastian was pleased with the overt way Sean raked his eyes up and down Sebastian's body. He was even more pleased when Sean apparently decided that he liked what he saw and a small smile settled on his face before he beckoned Sebastian over. Carter looked ready to growl, but he said nothing, just tucked his hand inside Sean's shirt before leaning backward and kissing his neck.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Sebastian said pleasantly to Sean as he indicated Carter's display with his eyes.
"Nothing at all," Sean answered with a broad smile for Sebastian as he pointedly ignored the way Carter stiffened in his lap. "I was hoping you'd show up. Come sit."
"I'm not sure there's room," Carter protested indicating the crowded chaise longue with his hands.
"I don't mind sitting close," Sebastian answered playfully. In fact the idea of sitting so close to Carter practically made his skin crawl, but he would endure it just to torment him, and to be near Sean. As he squeezed in he casually draped an arm around Sean's shoulders.
"Oh I'm sorry!" Carter gasped a few seconds later as he spilled his drink into Sebastian's lap. His tone was surprised and apologetic but he look he shot Sebastian told him it was anything but an accident.
Sebastian briefly glared at him before recovering his composure. "No problem. I guess that's what happens when little boys get sloppy drunk."
Carter opened his mouth to make a comeback but Sean quickly cut him off, "Carter, why don't you go get the three of us a drink? I'd like a tequila sunrise. What about you, Seb?"
Sebastian took a second to consider his answer. Beyond an occasional sip of wine or champagne at home he hadn't actually drank very much before. "I'll have the same," he answered, deciding he couldn't go wrong if he just mimicked Sean's order.
Carter frowned but slid off of Sean's lap to get the drinks.
"Come on," Sean whispered into Sebastian's ear as soon as Carter was out of sight.
Sebastian looked at him in confusion but didn't protest as Sean grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.
"Where are we going?" Sebastian inquired as Sean held onto his hand and led them through the crowd.
"My father's study," Sean responded smiling at a few guests and clapping a few others on the back as they passed, but otherwise refusing to slow down.
A short while later they had come to a closed and locked door at the end of a long hallway. Sean quickly fished an ornate key out of his pocket.
"No one is allowed in here. But I snatched the key before my parents left town," Sean explained as he unlocked the door.
"Cool," Sebastian answered at a loss for what else to say as he followed Sean into the room. As soon as the door was closed Sean quickly relocked it from the inside.
"Carter has no idea how to make a tequila sunrise so that'll keep him busy for awhile. Plus he wouldn't think to look in here anyway."
Sebastian's stomach dropped as it dawned on him what Sean had in mind. He suddenly felt scared and unsure of what to do. Sure he had blown Blake Behr before in the past but he had never messed around with anyone he was actually attracted to before. He also knew from reputation that Sean was sexually active. Completely sexually active, and he suspected Sean wanted more than just a blow job from him.
"You look amazing, Seb!" Sean said as he grabbed Sebastian's hips and pulled him forward, quickly pushing his collar aside and starting to suck on his neck.
Sebastian didn't react at first. He had no idea how to react. He certainly wanted to do stuff with Sean, but he also didn't think it was a good idea. He liked flirting with Sean, liked winding Carter up, but actually fucking Sean, and thus making them both cheaters...Sebastian didn't think he should cross that line.
"Touch me," Sean murmured against his neck as his own hands made their way around Sebastian's waist and began groping and squeezing his ass. As he did so he ground his hips against Sebastian's.
Oh fuck! I got Sean Meunier hard! Sebastian screamed in his mind as he felt his own body responding in kind. Before he even realized what he was doing his hands were gripping Sean's firm ass and he was eagerly squeezing their bodies closer together, relishing the friction.
"There we go, Seb," Sean said softly as he pulled back and caught Sebastian's eyes with his own. He leaned his face forward to kiss Sebastian, but the other boy pulled away as far as their close embrace would allow.
"I don't think we should," Sebastian found himself saying. Though he was completely turned on and desperate for more, the word "Cheater!" kept replaying itself over and over again in his head. He also found himself growing more and more nervous about how fast they were moving.
"I think we should," Sean countered with a crooked smile.
"Sean no," Sebastian insisted more firmly as he let go of Sean's ass completely and tried to pull himself away. "We can't."
"Then stop me," Sean answered with a smirk as he raised his eyebrows in a challenging invitation. Sean didn't grab him hard and he didn't lunge at Sebastian, instead he slowly and carefully leaned his mouth closer to Sebastian's, keeping that challenging smirk on his face the entire time.
Sebastian knew that he should push Sean away. What was happening had gone from feeling somewhat ambiguously wrong, to outright not something Sebastian should do. However, he felt paralyzed as their lips slowly met. Sean was just so hot, and Sebastian wanted him so much.
-000-
Sam shouted at Finn to stay away from the cave. He couldn't explain it but he knew that if Finn entered the cave something bad would happen. Unfortunately Finn couldn't hear him and Sam was left with no choice but to follow Finn into the dark opening. As Sam entered, still trailing behind Finn, he realized that the cave was lit by dim, flickering candlelight. He continued trying to catch up with Finn, to get him to leave, but every time he seemed to be getting close, suddenly Finn was even further out of reach. Soon Finn disappeared completely around a bend in the cave.
Sam cautiously approached the cave wall and peered around the side of it. To his surprise Finn was standing over a box of gold. However, he wasn't alone. Sebastian was standing next to him and they seemed to be celebrating their find.
"This is awesome, dude! There's like enough money here for a whole pizza!" Finn exclaimed as he hugged Sebastian excitedly.
"I don't want a pizza, Finn," Sebastian answered as he wrapped his arms around the taller boy.
"Well then what do you want?" Finn asked.
"I want to kiss you," Sebastian answered as he tightened his grip on Finn's waist.
"But I thought you liked Sam?" Finn inquired as he looked at Sebastian with a confused expression on his face.
"I do, but he likes me back and you like to kiss people he likes, so this makes sense," Sebastian explained.
"Oh yeah you're right. I do like doing that. Okay let's make out," Finn agreed as he leaned down slightly and sealed his mouth over Sebastian's.
"Wait!" Sam shouted as he ran up to the other two guys.
"Oh hi, Sam. Sebastian and I were just about to kiss. You wanna watch?" Finn asked pleasantly.
"Actually I was planning to seduce him completely, but you can jerk yourself off while we fuck if you want to," Sebastian offered.
"NO! You can't do that. Finn, you're my best friend. You have to stop cheating with people I'm seeing," Sam insisted as he pulled the two apart. Next he wheeled around to face Sebastian. "And you, what do you mean by trying to kiss other guys?"
"But Sam, you're not a couple," Finn pointed out as he tapped Sam on the shoulder. "You just like him. I'm free to make out with him if I want."
"Yeah, and what do you expect me to do? Just wait around until you figure out if you like guys or not?" Sebastian demanded.
"But I'm not gay," Sam protested.
"Then it doesn't matter if we make out," Finn pointed out as he reached around Sam and took Sebastian's hand. "Come on, Sebastian."
"No! Finn you can't! You're not gay either. I'm not gay, and you're not gay, and Sebastian is just my friend."
"Oh Sam, just wake up already. You totally want him," Finn insisted.
"What!? No, I don't."
"Sure you do. Just wake up."
"But..."
"Wake up, Sam," Finn ordered as he shook Sam's shoulders. "Wake up."
"What!" Sam cried out as his head shot up from where it had been resting on top of his copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He had been reading it for his English class just prior to falling asleep at the kitchen table.
"Dude, I think you were having a nightmare," Finn suggested as he plopped down in the chair next to Sam's.
"So wait you didn't kiss Sebastian?" Sam blurted out still confused by the images in his head.
"Ewww! Yuck, no! Sounds more like my nightmare," Finn answered with a chuckle. "Did you seriously dream that I kissed that-"
"Yeah," Sam cut him off not wanting to hear the end of Finn's sentence. "Uh, you know how weird dreams can be."
"I guess," Finn said with a shrug, still uncomfortable and freaked out.
"Listen man, I need to get some rest for real. I think I'm gonna head to bed," Sam said, eager to be done with the conversation.
"Okay, night," Finn answered slightly relieved. He was hoping that he could clear the unbidden mental images from his head more quickly if Sam did leave. Yuck! Me kiss Sebastian?! Really?
Sam hurried to his room, leaving the door partially open and throwing himself down on his bed. He was so sick of having dreams about Sebastian. This certainly hadn't been the first time he had dreamed about him since that day in the park when they kissed, but this one had been particularly strange.
By this point Sam had more or less admitted to himself that his interest in Sebastian wasn't entirely platonic. After all he could only dream about kissing him so many times before it sunk in that he actually wanted to do it again. He still wasn't completely comfortable with the idea, and he had decided that he definitely wouldn't be pursuing it, but he had more or less started to accept it. What he couldn't accept was the new way he felt as a result of his dream tonight.
Sam felt jealous. He was actually angry and jealous as a result of his dream. Somehow it felt like Sebastian and Finn had betrayed him, even though he knew they hadn't actually done anything in reality. Nevertheless, Sam decided that even in his dreams Sebastian and Finn had no business kissing and talking about having sex. Sebastian wasn't supposed to kiss anyone but Sam in his dreams, and Finn of all people should have stayed away from him.
Sam sighed. It was all so confusing for him. He had started to both hate and also practically live for Sebastian's occasional texts and even less common phone calls. Sam might have been confused but he wasn't stupid. The frustration he was feeling, the ache in his gut, the longing that played out over and over in his head, and now this newest symptom, the jealousy...these were all things that Sam recognized. He had felt exactly the same about Quinn once and then more recently the same about Mercedes. Sam couldn't deny it to himself anymore, he had feeling for-
"Sebastian?! Really Sam? Sebastian?" Kurt demanded as he glared at Sam from the open doorway.
Sam's jaw dropped and he looked up at Kurt in shock, only vaguely registering the fact that Blaine was standing next to him.
"How did you..." Read my mind? Sam wondered.
"You left this on the kitchen table," Kurt clarified holding up Sam's phone and glaring at him before tossing it onto the bed near him. "Sebastian called, Sam. I guess you better call Sebastian back."
"Kurt, it's not what you think," Sam insisted hastily. "We're just friends."
Kurt blinked in surprise and regarded Sam curiously. "Well actually that was exactly what I thought. Do you not see why that isn't okay?"
"Oh...um, well yeah I know you don't like him," Sam answered as a blush colored his cheeks and he realized that he had almost given himself away.
"Don't like him?!" Kurt demanded. "Sam, he practically blinded Blaine," Kurt raved as he nodded toward his boyfriend. "He tried to blackmail Finn, and he's a total bitch to me every time I see him. No Sam. I don't like Sebastian. He's a manipulative, selfish, asshole."
"He is not!" Sam protested as he frowned at Kurt. "He's not any of those things. He's not a bad person at all. He's just...misunderstood I guess."
"Oh sure, and that's what they said about Mussolini," Kurt snapped sarcastically as he shot Sam another dirty and then turned around and stormed off. Kurt had no intention of standing there any longer and listening to Sam defend the person he practically viewed as evil incarnate.
"So uh, is Mussolini like a fashion designer?" Sam asked Blaine as his face contorted with confusion from Kurt's last remark. He knew the name sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it and he sounded like the kind of guy who might have created an ugly fashion trend or something that Kurt didn't like.
Blaine chuckled a couple of times before covering his mouth to stifle his laughter. "Nah, Mussolini wasn't a fashion designer, Sam. He was a completely different type of Italian dictator."
Sam shrugged and looked at his carpet sadly. He hated the things Kurt had just said about Sebastian. Sam had been wanting to talk to Kurt about how he was feeling ever since it had started and Kurt had basically just made it very clear that he would never accept or approve of the way Sam felt. It was like he hadn't even admitted out loud that he liked Sebastian and yet he was already getting condemned for it.
"Sam, I know how you feel about Sebastian," Blaine said sympathetically as he walked the rest of the way into the room and sat down on Sam's bed.
Sam's head snapped up in surprise. "You do?"
"Yeah of course. I felt the same way when I first met him," Blaine answered.
"Oh my god, really? But what about Kurt?" Sam's head was whirling as he tried to process all this new information. Blaine had liked Sebastian?
"He didn't approve," Blaine answered simply.
"I bet not!" Sam exclaimed wide eyed. No wonder Kurt hated Sebastian so much.
"But I felt like I had to try," Blaine went on.
"Uh, what?"
"I had to try to reach out to him. Show him that he could have a real friendship with someone that didn't involve sex or manipulation," Blaine explained.
"Oh you wanted to be his friend." Sam said as the pieces fell into place and he realized that he had misunderstood what Blaine was saying, that Blaine didn't know his secret after all.
"Well yeah, what did you think?" Blaine asked.
"Friend. I was thinking friend too," Sam fibbed right away.
Blaine regarded Sam carefully. He was definitely behaving strangely and Blaine knew that there was more to the situation than Sam was telling him.
"Look, all I'm saying is I get how you're feeling. I know you want to help him and honestly even after everything that's happened I don't think Sebastian is quite as terrible as people make him out to be. Not quite as terrible. He has a good side, but Kurt and the others aren't wrong either. He is selfish and manipulative and frankly you just can't trust him. He'll take advantage of that if you do."
Sam felt his stomach tightening in disappointment and frustration. For a second he thought that maybe Blaine really did understand Sebastian, but obviously Blaine didn't get him either. Sam couldn't believe how cruddy this situation was. Finn, Kurt, and Blaine, and undoubtedly the rest of the glee club too, would all completely hate this and give Sam a hard time if they ever found out how he felt. He had thought the the glee club of all people wouldn't judge him, but that obviously wasn't going to be the case. Sam felt so alone and hurt.
"Yeah okay, thanks Blaine. I'll keep that in mind," Sam answered quietly.
Blaine gave Sam another sympathetic look and patted his shoulder before leaving the room. Sam knew Blaine meant well, but he couldn't get over the disappointed, hurt feeling that was clawing at his stomach. A little while later, however, he remembered that Kurt had said that Sebastian had called and Sam felt his stomach tightening and fluttering for a completely different reason. He quickly got up and shut his door before calling him back.
"Hey sexy," Sebastian answered the phone playfully when he saw the caller ID. Over the past several days he had noticed that Sam was well beyond objecting to these types of comments.
"Hi Seb," Sam answered softly, half wishing he had the will to ask Sebastian to stop saying stuff like that, and half wishing he had the nerve to start saying similar things himself.
"So what are you doing Friday?" Sebastian inquired, wanting to get to his point and then get off the phone. He found that things always went better with Sam when he kept things short and sweet. If they talked for too long Sam had a way of making Sebastian lose his train of thought and deviate from his objectives.
"Not sure, why?" Sam responded.
"Oh, I'm having a little get together on Saturday at my house. You should come," Sebastian answered casually before dropping his voice to a seductive whisper. "I really want you to come, Sam."
Sam gasped out loud, shocked at the shameless way Sebastian had said that.
"Well uh, I guess I could try to come," Sam answered smirking into the phone and trying to ignore the weird cocktail of fear, disgust, and excitement that was warring for control of his body.
"Well, what would I have to do to make you come, Sam?" Sebastian pressed, loving the way Sam was playing back.
"I...I'll be there," Sam answered shaking himself slightly to clear his head.
"Good, I'll see you at 7," Sebastian said before abruptly hanging up the phone. And I'll fuck you at 7:30.
-000-
Saturday night Sam arrived at the Smythe residence at the appointed time. He rang the doorbell and then knocked, but received no response from either effort. Since he could hear the hum of music and voices on the other side of the door he finally decided to try the knob. Finding it unlocked he tentatively opened the door. As soon as he did he was assaulted by a den of blaring music.
"Hey, it's Sebastian's 'friend'," a slightly drunk dark haired guy that Sam recognized as being one of the Warblers commented as Sam walked in. He was standing in the atrium next to another guy Sam vaguely also remembered seeing at competitions, this one blond.
"Don't be a jerk, Nick," the blond chastised as he smacked his friend's arm before turning his attention to Sam. "I'm Jeff. You're Sam right? Good to meet you."
"I wasn't being a jerk," Nick defended himself. "I was just saying he and Sebastian are 'friends'."
"Yeah but the way you're saying 'friends' is implying something else," Jeff called him out before turning back to Sam with a smile. "Ignore him, he's been drinking. Sebastian's in the living room."
Sam nodded and thanked Jeff before heading toward the room he had indicated. Sam was nervous and a little upset that Nick had been implying that he and Sebastian were more than friends. Just what had Sebastian said to them anyway?
As Sam walked into the room his heart leapt into his mouth and he all but staggered back in a mixture of surprise and sudden anger. There on the large chaise longue was Sebastian sitting in the middle of a crowd of people. That part didn't surprise or anger Sam. What did bother him was the fact that sitting on Sebastian's lap was some ridiculous looking guy that Sam had never even seen before. Sam certainly didn't consider himself a judgmental person, but this guy looked like an absurd, effeminate joke. He couldn't imagine Sebastian being interested in a guy like that and for some reason that Sam didn't fully understand he instantly hated him.
Sam started to back out of the room. He decided that he was just going to leave. He could text Sebastian later and say that he didn't feel well or something, but as he started to leave Sebastian caught sight of him and beckoned him over with a broad smile on his face. As Sam reluctantly approached the crowd he couldn't make up his mind whether or not he was happier that Sebastian was grinning at him like that, or if he was just pissed that Sebastian had some new guy in his life he hadn't even mentioned to Sam. As Sam walked up the smaller guy seemed to cuddle even closer to Sebastian and began massaging the back of his head with his fingers.
"I don't want to interrupt anything," Sam said as he awkwardly shoved his hands in his pocket and barely managed to contain the embarrassment and seething jealousy he was feeling.
"You're not," Sebastian assured him in a casual, light tone. "I'm so glad you're here, Sam. Please take a seat," he said patting the space next to himself.
The girl who had been sitting next to Sebastian obligingly shifted over and pressed herself against the guy on the opposite side. From the way he wrapped his arm around her and the way she relaxed into the embrace Sam assumed that they were a couple. Sam asked himself for about the thousandth time what he was doing getting hung up on Sebastian, a guy - and a guy who even seemed to be seeing someone else now - when he could have just found himself a nice girl to hold. It could have been exactly like it was with this other couple. Exactly the way Sam and all of his friends and family had always expected.
"Your shirt is so cute!" the twinkish guy exclaimed to Sam as he ran his fingers over Sam's chest.
"Thanks," Sam said as he stiffened and tried to resist the urge to pull away.
"Hands off, Aaron. Sam's straight," Sebastian said lightly as he grabbed his playmate's wrists and pulled his hands away from Sam's body.
"I was just admiring his shirt, Sebby," Aaron defended himself. "Besides, you know you're the only boy for me."
Sam coughed as he fought the urge to gag.
Sebastian inwardly cringed but kept his face cheerful as he pressed a kiss to Aaron's lips. He was pleased to notice from the corner of his eye the way Sam clenched his jaw and looked away. Deciding in part that Sam had had enough and that his plan was working perfectly, and also that he himself couldn't tolerate Aaron for much longer, Sebastian gently pried himself loose from Aaron and stood up. "Come on, Sam. Let's go get some drinks."
"I'll come too," Aaron declared, eager to follow Sebastian and his attractive friend, even if they mysterious blond was straight.
"No, you relax and enjoy the party. We'll be right back. I'll make you something. What would you like?" Sebastian said as he put his hands on Aaron's shoulders, stopping him from coming along and gently urging him back into his seat.
Aaron's face lit up in a grin. He was delighted that Sebastian wanted to take care of him like that. "I'll have a cherry vodka sour."
"Actually, I don't think I want anything," Sam said shrugging and worrying that if he was alone with Sebastian right now he might say or do something he would regret. "You go ahead."
"Well how about if I show you what we have and then you can decide. Besides I want to catch up," Sebastian insisted as he grabbed Sam's hand and gave him his most charming smile.
Sam's stomach fluttered again and he had to break eye contact with Sebastian. He reluctantly gave up and allowed his friend to lead him toward the large bar that was in the corner of the room.
"Aaron seems...nice," Sam said conversationally as Sebastian stepped around the bar and began mixing the first drink.
Sebastian sighed softy and braced himself for what he had to do.
"He's great! We've only known each other for a few days, but it seems like so much longer, you know?" Sebastian enthused.
"Yeah, I definitely know what that's like," Sam responded trying his best to be happy for Sebastian.
"Yeah, it's almost weird how I feel about him," Sebastian said dreamily. He makes my skin crawl.
"Well that's great, man. I'm really happy for you," Sam said with a smile that didn't even come close to meeting his eyes or the rest of his face.
"Yeah, I haven't felt this way since..." Sebastian looked embarrassed and thoughtful as he set the hook.
"Since what?" Sam asked on cue.
"Since I met you," Sebastian said softly as he looked up to meet Sam's eyes. Sebastian had realized over the past several days that Sam was something of a romantic and had quickly shifted his strategy to incorporate that new finding.
Sam's jaw dropped. Had Sebastian really just admitted that he had feelings for Sam?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," Sebastian said as he began mixing the second drink.
"No, that's...I mean...Well why didn't you say anything sooner?" Sam asked incredibly frustrated by the timing.
"I basically did, Sam. But you're straight so I knew I was wasting my time."
"Oh yeah," Sam answered as he tried to remind himself of that same fact.
"What is it? You look confused," Sebastian pointed out, barely resisting the urge he had to grin. He was very pleased with himself. Sam was obviously a slightly different type of guy than the kind he usually seduced, but he had nevertheless managed to read him perfectly. He felt like he had conquered a new level, and soon he would get to celebrate that conquest with...well a conquest.
Sam nodded as he tried to keep a tight lid on his feelings and keep everything from spilling out. He was confused, very confused. Between seeing Aaron hanging all over Sebastian, and now hearing Sebastian say all this stuff, Sam had absolutely no idea what to think or how to feel. The only thing he could be sure of was that it hurt. He felt like someone had put broken glass in his chest and stomach and then shaken him as vigorously as Sebastian was shaking the drinks.
"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked gently as he placed his hand over Sam's on the bar.
Yes, I'm fine. Just tell him you're fine and get back to the party. Just tell him you're fine and get away from this damn conversation.
"I'm fine," Sam said in a broken, unconvincing voice as he looked away and then turned to leave.
"Sam wait!" Sebastian said as he grabbed Sam's hand. "Don't go. Stay. Let's talk about this."
"No, I just...I just need to go to the bathroom," Sam insisted as he pulled his hand way and hurried off.
Sebastian cursed under his breath that he was behind the bar at this moment and couldn't grab Sam or chase after him quickly enough. It hadn't occurred to him that Sam would abruptly walk away like that. If it had he would have made sure they were positioned differently.
Sam rushed to the restroom, desperate to get away from everyone and have some much needed privacy. He needed time by himself to think and recompose himself. Unfortunately when he tried the bathroom door he found it locked. A muffled voice said that she would be right out, but Sam was too upset to wait.
The only other place in Sebastian's large home that Sam could think of to go for privacy was Sebastian's room. Certainly that probably wasn't the only other private place in the house, but since Sam hadn't really explored Sebastian's home very much the last time he was here it was the only place Sam could think of where he would feel semi-comfortable. Sam quickly made a bee line for the stairs and then once on the second floor went straight to Sebastian's closed door. To his immense frustration he once again found his hand trying to turn a locked knob and it dawned on him that Sebastian must have locked it before the party to keep stray, drunk guests out. Sam sighed audibly in irritation.
"I have a key for that," Sebastian called out as he walked down the hallway toward Sam.
"I...I'm sorry, Seb. I just wanted to find somewhere quiet," Sam apologized, embarrassed that Sebastian had caught him trying to get into his room.
"It's fine. I could use some quiet time too," Sebastian assured him as he put his hands on the small of Sam's back while leaning past him to unlock the door with his other hand.
The gesture was both comforting and maddening to Sam. It was exactly the way Sam himself would have touched a girlfriend. Is that how Sebastian was viewing him? As someone he could touch like this. As someone he had some claim to? Sam wanted to push Sebastian away. In fact he had every intention of doing just that as his hands met the other boy's sides. However, to Sam's surprise he didn't push Sebastian away at all, instead the comforting aspect of the whole thing kicked in and he found his hands traveling the rest of the way around Sebastian's torso as Sam leaned in close and hugged him.
Sebastian wrapped one arm around Sam and led him into the room, closing and relocking the door after they had entered. Then he slowly led Sam to the side of the bed and gave him a tight hug before guiding him to sit down.
"Tell me what's wrong, Sam," Sebastian instructed gently as he held the trembling blond's hand.
"I think I have feelings for you," Sam answered deciding there was no point in beating around the bush about it and already feeling too vulnerable and exposed to worry about adding more to it. Despite his sudden burst of honesty Sam didn't have the strength to look up and attempt to read the reaction on Sebastian's face.
"Well that's not so bad. Didn't I tell you that if you were ever curious about guys that you could always talk to me about it?" Sebastian reminded him.
"But I'm not curious about guys!" Sam snapped as he finally looked up at Sebastian, angry that he seemed to be ignoring what Sam had actually said.
"You just said-"
"I'm curious about you. Just you, Sebastian. I don't know why, but I am." Sam felt like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that he had admitted that. Only a small weight however, since he still felt the weight of everything else bearing down on him. His friends' certain disapproval, his own general confusion, then of course the crippling fact that it was now too late with Sebastian anyway.
"Curiosity is good, Sam," Sebastian assured him as pressed his knees against Sam's and gave him an openly lustful look. "Curiosity is healthy."
"But...b but what about Aaron?" Sam stuttered as he realized what Sebastian had in mind. He tried to lean away from Sebastian, to put some much needed distance between them. However, unfortunately only the top half of Sam's body seemed to come up this idea and act on it. His lower half stayed firmly in place and as he leaned backward away from Sebastian he succeeded only in shifting himself from a fully upright position to a nearly reclining one. Sam whispered nervously again as he looked up at Sebastian, "What about Aaron?"
"I don't think Aaron is...curious. I think his questions are already answered. Let's answer your questions, Sam," Sebastian said as he too shifted on the bed and he leaned in closer, practically ending up on top of Sam by the time he was finished speaking.
"We can't do this," Sam insisted, putting a stopping hand against Sebastian's chest. Sebastian's strong, hard chest. The chest that he had explored during their first kiss.
"Sure we can," Sebastian said in a low, intense voice. "I want you, Sam. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I know you want me too. I can feel it." As he said that, Sebastian slowly reached between them and brushed his hand over the bulge in Sam's pants. It had taken him this long to be certain that Sam wouldn't reject his touch, but now he was certain. Sam was his now, and he could touch him wherever he pleased.
"No," Sam said in a shaky voice. He felt his resolve weakening as Sebastian's face moved closer and closer to his own. "Please don't."
"Then stop me," Sebastian challenged before locking his lips over Sam's and pressing their bodies together.
Sam knew that he should push Sebastian away. He knew that what was happening just wasn't right. Sebastian had a boyfriend, and even if he hadn't Sam sure as hell wasn't ready for what was happening. Yet as Sebastian's tongue pushed against Sam's lips, insistently demanding access to his mouth, Sam felt his resolve slip away completely. Sebastian was just so hot, and Sam wanted him so much.
-000-
End Note: Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, both about Sebastian's past and their current situation. Also, what did you think of the dream sequences and Sam's feelings in this chapter? I hope they don't seemed rushed or abrupt. I think he started to work out his feelings in the last chapter and drawing it out too much more would feel a bit regressive to me. Don't worry though, still lots of angst to come.
Reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated!