Go Deidara go!
Episode 6
Oh... Oh... Oh... ah
Go Deidara Go!
Deep inside the Akatsuki where people are running wild
Coming to the rescue is a very special child
Molding clay animals and throwing a kunai,
This rough and tough adventurer is working all the time
Yo Viene Deidara... Deidara... Deidara... Go, Deidara, Go!
Pein's on a mission we're going for a ride
Deidara is on the road with Little Tobi by his side
discovering together, yeah were always having fun
blowing up each other is good for everyone!
And there goes Deidara... Deidara. Deidara... Go, Deidara, Go!
"Sempai?" Tobi asked, knocking on Deidara's door.
"Look, I'm sorry I said you had girly hips. I was kidding, I've seen them, and they're not girly. Come out!" Sasori yelled.
"Sempai! Wait… Where did Sasori see Sempai's hips?" Tobi asked.
"None of your business… Where is he?" Sasori asked.
"Tobi doesn't know…" Tobi said.
Pein walked in.
"You two should see this." He said, handing them the video watch.
Sasori and Tobi shoved the tape in, and looked at the screen. Neji and Deidara were in a cage, with a small black figure in front of the cage…
"GET ME OUTA HERE! I'M GOING CRAZY! THE STUPID THEME SONGS! THE KINDNESS! IT'S… TOO CUTE! LOOK AT NEJI!" Deidara screamed.
"M-m-m-my… D-d-d-d…destiny… t-t-to… D-d-d-die… here… and… n-never… see… light…ag-g-g-g-again…" Neji said.
"I DON'T WANNA GO CRAZY!" Deidara yelled.
"Hi! If you want to FREE your friends, you have to STOP AIRING your SHOW!" The black figure said.
Kakuzu ran in.
"NOT WITH MONEY ON THE LINE! Maybe if you pay us… It'll cost extra to take Neji off your hands." Kakuzu yelled.
"Kakuzu!" Sasori yelled.
"What?" He asked.
"That doesn't work!" Sasori said.
"Yes it does. The two of them are annoying enough, soon he'll BEG us to take them off his hands… and if we shove Tobi in there…" Kakuzu said.
"FOR GOD'S SAKE IT DOESN'T…" Sasori started.
"JASHIN'S SAKE!" Hidan yelled.
"SHUT UP, HIDAN! KAKUZU, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!" Sasori yelled.
"Well then, we'll make this an episode." Kakuzu said.
"But-" Sasori started.
"You'll take Deidara's place today." Kakuzu said.
"But I-" Sasori started again.
"Go get ready." Kakuzu said.
"Tobi can help." Tobi said.
"I really don't think-" Sasori started again.
"DANNA! COME ON! YOU DON'T WANNA BE A REAL BOY, I DON'T WANNA BE STUCK IN AN ASYLUM!" Deidara yelled.
"Most think you're already crazy." Kakuzu said.
"Look who's talking." Deidara said.
"Hey. People love me! I have Fangirls, thank you very much." Kakuzu said.
"Yeah, how many? Two?" Deidara asked.
"Well, I'm not chased out of my own room by a giant Fangirl mob on a weekly basis." Kakuzu said.
"I'm taking that as a compliment." Deidara said.
"Well, don't." Kakuzu said.
"Stop! Fighting isn't nice! I'm scared of fighting!" The black figure said.
"How old are you, kid? Four? What kind of kidnapper is afraid of fighting?" Sasori yelled.
"Um… I don't know." It said.
"How about this? You give them back or I'll show you something to be afraid of!" Sasori yelled.
"That's not nice." It said.
"NICE? I'LL SHOW YOU NICE!" Sasori yelled.
"Okay! First, you gotta say you're sorry." It said.
"You don't understand sarcasm, do you?" Sasori asked.
"Nope."
"It's gonna be a long day…" Sasori said.
"Go get ready!" Kakuzu said again.
"Okay, okay." Sasori said, walking to his room.
"Hm… I suppose we need a new theme song for this episode… CUE THE MUSIC!"
Oh... Oh... Oh... ah
Go Sasori Go!
Deep inside the Akatsuki where people are running wild
Coming to the rescue is a very special child
Making human puppets and throwing a kunai,
This rough and tough adventurer is working all the time
Yo Viene Sasori... Sasori... Sasori... Go, Sasori, Go!
Pein's on a mission we're going for a ride
Sasori is on the road with Little Tobi by his side
discovering together, yeah were always having fun
Making more puppets is good for everyone!
And there goes Sasori... Sasori…. Sasori... Go, Sasori, Go!
"There we go." Kakuzu said, satisfied with the music.
But then… something weird happened… The lair's door opened…
"HEY, EVERYONE! I'M HERE!" Someone yelled.
Tobi went to the door to see who it was.
"Sempai?" He asked, after seeing the visitor.
The guest looked almost exactly like Deidara… hm…
Sasori walked in, and stared at the guest for a minute.
"I suppose he didn't tell you, did he?" The guest asked.
"Deidara, stop playing around, and go get into your normal clothes… you look weird in a skirt… And go get Neji out of wherever you put him…" Sasori said.
"Aw, I don't look that much like my cousin! Though auntie rose DID say we had a few similarities… Wait… That boy still didn't get a haircut, did he?" The guest asked.
"Your cousin?" Sasori asked.
"Well, sure. I'm Deidara's cousin, Dorothy!" She said.
"Since when does he have a cousin named Dorothy?" Sasori asked.
"Since we were born…" She said.
"Why does he not tell me these things?" Sasori asked.
"Well, he probably wanted to surprise you! Oh, hang on. I gotta go get my pet lemur." She said, walking back outside.
"Pet… Lemur…?" Sasori asked.
"Tobi doesn't like lemurs." Tobi said.
"Neither to I…" Sasori said.
Dorothy came in with a lemur, a backpack, and a GPS.
"…What's the lemur's name…?" Sasori asked.
"Mittens." Dorothy said. "And this is Knapsack, and this is GPS."
"You named your bag and your GPS system?" Sasori asked.
"Sure, why not?"
"That's a little weird." Sasori said.
Kakuzu ran in.
"WE GOT IT! OUR FIRST ROUND OF FAQ STUFF! SIT! ALL OF YOU!" Kakuzu yelled.
Everyone sat down… Tobi brought the watch so Deidara could help.
"Okay, we got a few comments, too. We're replying to those as well." Kakuzu said.
"Okay, start already." Pein said.
"Alright… 'You spelled cuatro wrong'… How did we spell it? Anyone remember?"
"We spelled it quatro." Sasori said.
"Eh… HIDAN, GO FIX IT!" Kakuzu yelled.
He did. (Yes, I actually fixed that.)
"Okay, two… 'um can you put Itachi in danger or Orochimaru or Neji \he'… okay… well… First, we would NEVER put our own people in danger… just kidding, we'll take the advice…"
"KAKUZU!" Sasori yelled.
"NO WE WON'T! And don't be so nervous, saying 'um' and whatnot… jeez… and what's with the '/he'? Spelling problems?" Kakuzu asked.
(Just kidding, I don't care, but Kakuzu wants to bother you about it.)
"And the last one… 'I have a question. why haven't you talk to the kids lately?'…"
"Hey, we've been talking to the kids!" Deidara yelled.
"No, they're right… We haven't… Hm… Well… I suppose we just wanted to get Kisame out of there… and like Kakuzu said earlier, love makes you do crazy things… like when you were saving Sasori…" Pein said.
"Yeah… Well… SHUT UP!" Deidara yelled.
"Alright, kidos… that comes to a total of… 150 dollars." Kakuzu said.
"I told you, they're not paying." Sasori said.
"Whatever… But hey, let's get some input here. We've talked to you lately, right kids?" Kakuzu asked.
No answer.
"Kids?"
Nothing.
"NO! THEY'VE STOPPED WATCHING! THEREFORE, WE'RE LOSING MONEY!"
Kakuzu fainted.
Sasori went up to the camera.
"Or they're scared of you, Kakuzu." Sasori said.
But, Kakuzu was out cold.
"Anyone got a one dollar bill?" Pein asked.
Tobi handed him one… and Kakuzu got up, and took it from Pein.
"I'm good now." Kakuzu said.
Dorothy looked at the screen of the watch.
"HEY, COUSIN!" She yelled.
"What's she doing there?" Deidara asked.
"We were hoping you would know." Pein said.
"Where are you?" Dorothy asked.
"I've been taken by the infamous two foot kidnapper." Deidara said.
"OH NO! WE GOTTA SAVE HIM! HERE! GO LOCK ONTO THE SIGNAL THAT THE WATCH IS PICKING UP! USE GPS TO FIND YOUR WAY THERE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU LAZY PIECE OF SH&T? GO!" Dorothy yelled, handing Sasori the GPS.
Sasori ran to the computer room.
Everyone else left the room… everyone but Pein. Pein was simply staring at Dorothy in awe. No one bosses HIS minions around!
"What are you looking at?" She asked.
"I don't think we're clear on who runs this place." Pein said.
"Yeah? Who is it? You? You're a sorry excuse for a leader, letting your own men get caught." She said.
"Excuse me?" He asked.
"And what's with the peircings? You lose a bet? Are you a Swiss cheese extremist? Like the movie 'holes'?" She asked.
The camera man decided to go watch Sasori… This could get ugly…
Sasori was punching the coordinates into the GPS… or trying to anyway.
Sasori went back too see Dorothy.
"The GPS won't turn on." He said.
"HEY KIDS! SAY 'GPS'!" Dorothy yelled.
"GPS!" The kids yelled.
"What ever happened to the map?" Deidara asked.
"That old thing? That is SO last year. GPS is so much better." Dorothy said.
The GPS turned on, and started… singing…
If there's a place you got to go
I'm the one you need to know
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
If there's a place you got to get
I can get you there I bet
I'm the GPS!
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
I'm the GPS
Once it stopped singing, Sasori started punching in the coordinates.
"Okay, he appears to be in the middle of the Amazon rainforest… Let's get directions and… DONE!" The GPS said.
"Alright… Let's go… COME, TOBI!" Sasori yelled.
"TOBI'S COMING!" Tobi yelled, running to his side.
The two of them went outside.
"So… Where do we go first?
"First… we have to go ACROSS the OCEAN! Then, we have to go UP the AMAZON RIVER! Then, we get to the TREE HOUSE!" The GPS yelled.
"Okay… Let's go…" Sasori said, walking towards the shore.
"Where do we go first?" The GPS asked.
"The ocean." Sasori said, walking towards a boat.
"Let the kids answer." The GPS said.
"You just mentioned it." Sasori said.
"Let them answer." It said again.
"Fine… Where do we go first?" He asked.
"The ocean." The kids said.
"See? They know." He said, getting into the boat.
Tobi shoved the boat off, and jumped on.
"Should be smooth sailing…" Sasori said.
"You just jinxed it." The GPS said, noticing a giant whirlpool in their path.
"Oh crap." Sasori said.
"TOBI CAN'T SWIM!" Tobi yelled.
"Yeah, I know…" Sasori said, pulling down the sail of the boat.
"Tobi thinks there's something causing the whirlpool." Tobi said.
"But what?" Sasori asked.
"Tobi thinks we can stick the camera underwater." Tobi said.
"Is it waterproof?" He asked the cameraman.
"Yeah." The cameraman said, handing him the camera.
Sasori attached a string to it, and dropped it into the water.
The cameraman watched the screen.
"There's a boy down there!" He yelled.
"Who?" Sasori asked.
"I don't know! Blonde… Orange suit…"
"Naruto…" Sasori said, rolling his eyes.
"He's got some sort of sphere in his hand! The whirlpool seems to be coming from there! He said.
"Kids! Get him out of here! Call him a loser!" Sasori yelled.
"LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! FAILURE! DOBE!" They screamed.
Naruto stopped, and swam at the camera. He grabbed onto it, and pulled down.
Sasori kept a good hold on the string.
"I think we got a bite!" He said, pulling back.
Sasori pulled Naruto up on deck.
"You're so annoying! Sasori yelled, throwing him off the back of the ship.
"The whirlpool's gone…" The cameraman said, taking back the camera.
"Yeah." Sasori said, raising the sails once more.
So, the rest of the trip went smoothly, and they finally reached the Amazon River.
"Okay… So now we gotta go down the river… Er… Up the river…" Sasori said.
"Yup." The GPS said.
"Tobi wishes we had Sempai's birds…" Tobi said.
"What? I can't do just as good, if not better?" Sasori asked.
"…Tobi doesn't think so…" Tobi said.
"I'll show you!" Sasori said, taking out a couple of puppets.
"Tobi doesn't know how that's going to work…" Tobi asked.
After about an hour, Sasori had constructed a car.
"There…" Sasori said, putting the GPS on the dashboard.
"Alright… Calculating route… FOLLOW THE ROAD." GPS said.
"What road?"
GPS didn't reply.
So, Sasori just started driving, watching the GPS instead of the road.
"TAKE A RIGHT…!" The GPS started.
Sasori took a right, and smashed into a tree.
"IN 500 FEET!" GPS yelled.
"Stupid useless hunk of metal!" Sasori screamed.
"Watch the road, you twit." The GPS replied.
Sasori looked at the tree he had smashed into. Fortunately for him, it was the tree that had the tree house in it.
"Cool." Sasori said, getting out of the car.
"SEMPAI! TOBI'S COMING TO SAVE YOU!" He screamed.
"You idiot! We were going for stealth!" Sasori screamed.
Diego jumped out the window, Neji and Deidara in hand.
"Uh-oh! People have come to SAVE the CAPTIVES!" Diego yelled.
"No shit, Sherlock." Sasori said.
"DANNA!" Deidara yelled.
"Give up, little boy." Sasori said.
"Never give up!" Diego yelled.
Sasori charged at Diego.
Diego dropped Neji, and started running.
"DANNA!" Deidara yelled.
Then, the screen started to get fuzzy.
"The camera's dying!" The camera man yelled.
"WHAT?" Sasori screamed.
"I didn't charge the battery before we left." He said.
"Damn… Looks like we need to charge it before we go, or Kakuzu will have my head for not getting this all on film…" Sasori said.
The screen went dark.
A/N: Sorry this took so long! Deidara's still stuck! Wonderful!