Harry Potter and the Magic of Stupidity
A/N: Happy early update! Next week I'm on a class trip, so I'm updating today instead! And congrats to the winner: ReaderBookwormReader!
Chapter 4-
Embaressment
The twins ignored Harry's pleading, and quickly pulled out two black top hats. Putting them on, Fred began in a serious voice, "As you have violated code blue,"
"You are required to wrap yourself in neon-yellow toilet paper," George continued solemnly.
"Burp the alphabet whilst belly-dancing,"
"Film the whole thing,"
"And send it to the Daily Prophet!"
Harry's jaw dropped. Whatever he had expected Code Blue to be, it was nothing as bad as this. His life was officially over.
"And what happens if I just don't do it?" He asked casually. Nothing was going to get rid of his SWAG, after all.
Fred and George laughed evilly. "You don't want to know…"
Harry's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "Erm, yes I do…"
"No you don't!" Fred argued, still speaking in a dark, serious voice.
"I DO!"
"YOU DON'T" The twins looked at each other, panicking. For, of course, they had not thought of anything. They had sort of just expected the violator to do what they said.
"Fine, then I'm not doing it." Harry said stubbornly.
"The- The violator, if they refuse to do their punishment," George quickly improvised, "must… FIND A WAY TO MAKE PIGS FLY!"
George was quite pleased by his suggestion, that is, until Harry pointed out, "I can just use the Levitation Charm…"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot… That is for Code Yellow!" Fred interrupted, before his brother could do more damage. "Code Blue… Oh, yeah! You have to kiss a girl!"
Fred and George shared a disgusted look. Harry shrugged.
Turning around, he grabbed Ginny, flipped her down, so she was (very romantically, of course) only being held up by Harry's strong, manly arms, and he pressed a kiss to her lips.
"EWWW! But girls have COOTIES!" The twins shrieked.
Ginny turned bright red.
Percy looked fascinated. "Would you mind giving me tips about that?" He asked eagerly, before he realised that he was required to play the 'protective older brother' role, seeing as Fred and George were otherwise occupied. (Namely running up and down the stairs screaming.)
"I disapprove of what you just did! I- er… Never want you to step in our house again! No, wait… Erm, you are welcome in our house, BUT STAY AWAY FROM GINNY! Or… You have to marry her now, since you so cruelly stole the precious gift of being the first to kiss her!" He finished dramatically, waving his hands around in the air.
"Perce, I've kissed guys before…" Ginny said, rolling her eyes. That was when everyone realised that she was still hanging off Harry's arm so Harry quickly picked her up.
"WHAT?" Percy was outraged. "MY SISTER IS A…" He struggled to remember the word. It started with 'SL'… Or 'W'… And one rhymed with Knut… "You… Wut!"
"Wut?" Harry and Ginny asked stupidly.
At this moment, the twins stopped running up and down the stairs.
Fred spoke first. "The court-" Harry snorted, "Has decided, that the violator must still do Code Blue."
"Fine…" Said Harry resignedly, forgetting what Code Blue was.
Fred and George looked at each other, thoroughly surprised, and then quickly pulled out an old piece of parchment.
It read:
I have stupidly agreed to do Code Blue.
Harry quickly signed, then asked, "What was Code Blue, again?"
The twins told him, laughing gleefully, and then Harry promptly fainted.
*Five minutes later*
After 15 Slaps, 2 Buckets of water, 1 mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (done by a very willing Ginny) and lots of hexes (done mainly by the twins), Harry woke up.
He was confused why both his cheeks were red and sore, his mouth had saliva on it, he was completely soaked, not to mention the fact that his nails had grown to abnormal lengths, he seemed to have a cat's tail, his knees were reversed, his teeth were as large as those of walruses, he had a beard that could present competition to Albus Dumbledore's, a nose that looked like that of Severus Snape, and his whole body seemed to be fuchsia
The twins smiled guiltily. "Erm, about that…"
*An hour and a half later*
When Harry was finally cleaned up, he told the twins that he was ready to do his punishment.
The twins brought 150 rolls of toilet paper (Harry was mildly disturbed why the Weasley's owned so much) which they all (except Ginny, as she didn't know how to) preceded to charm neon-yellow.
It was actually forbidden for underage wizards and witches to do magic outside of Hogwarts, but it wasn't like anybody actually listened to that.
Percy was the first to remember. "HARRY! You are doing magic! That is the second time this summer! I'll have to report you to the Ministry!"
Harry, quickly formulating a plan, said "So, Percy, tell me about your NEWTs!"
Percy spent the next hour giving everybody a detailed description of every answer he had written.
"…And on the Arithmacy N.E.W.T, I was sure I had gotten every single answer wrong, but I actually only had one mistake, namely number 175, where I had put…" he trailed off when he realised that everybody was asleep. "Gosh, sometimes I really wonder why I even bother!"
A little later (15 minutes and 32 seconds, to be exact), the others slowly began to wake up. Meanwhile, Percy had settled down to read a book.
"What happened?" Fred asked sleepily.
"I can remember Percy-" George gave a big yawn, "trying to bore us to death…"
Harry didn't say anything, hoping that the others would forget about the punishment that he had yet to fulfil. Needless to say, they didn't.
Fred and George remembered at exactly the same time. They jumped up, and pointed at Harry.
"YOU! Code Blue!" They shouted simultaneously.
Harry stood up coolly. "Fine, let's do this, b-(insert nasty word here that I will not name because this fanfic is rated K+)-es"
Harry stripped off to his underwear, and began to wrap himself up in neon-yellow toilet paper (Ginny had been made to turn around, but that didn't stop her from peeking). Fred and George tried to help, but they ended up somehow tying up everybody in the room into a big, neon-yellow knot. That was when Percy put a stop to that nonsense, and insisted that he should be the one to help Harry.
They had made sure to leave Harry's stomach free (showing off Harry's chiselled six-pack), and George had found one of Mr. Weasley's video-recorders.
Then they were all set and ready for Code Blue to proceed.
"Erm, Fred, George, I just realised that I can't burp on command…" Harry said in a small voice.
Fred and George looked horrified. "You- you can't burp on command? Are you ill? What's wrong?" They asked, concerned.
Harry shrugged. Percy sighed. Fred shook his head. George scratched his ear. Ginny said nothing, she was too busy ogling Harry's stomach.
"There is this one hex," George said, "That might come in handy. If forces you to burp whenever you say something!"
Everyone considered this idea (except for Ginny, who had a little drool trailing down her chin), and eventually approved.
"Burpisiatus!" George said, pointing his wand at Harry's mouth.
"Burp." Harry's eyes widened. "I-burp- can-burp- BURP-burp!"
Fred clapped his hands, wanting to get everybody's attention, but the others misinterpreted it as applause, and they were all soon clapping.
Harry bowed, and threw kisses, burping all the while.
"Okay, enough of that!" Fred interrupted, not wanting to lose any more time.
He picked up the video camera, and everyone got into position.
"A B C D…" Harry burped, whilst shaking his stomach around, not looking remotely like he was belly dancing, but it was still hilarious.
"…X Y Z!" He finished off, giving a large belch at the end. The others all clapped, their expressions ranging from disgusted (Percy) to amazed (Ginny) to, well, the twins were rolling around on the floor, howling with laughter.
Percy went off to send the clip to the daily prophet.
Harry ripped off the neon-yellow toilet paper, standing naked (except for his 'Look don't touch' boxers),and stood in the middle of the room, when Ron and Hermione walked in.
Ron looked from the room (filled with neon-yellow toilet paper) to Harry (basically naked) to Ginny (with drool on her chin and eyes on Harry) to the twins (laughing so hard that no sound came out) and fainted.
"Hello, Harry," Hermione said, not looking remotely bothered by any of the above mentioned.
"Hello-burp, Hermione-burp!" Harry smiled, then turned to George. "George-burp, can-burp- you please-burp- lift-burp- the spell-burp burp?"
George shook his head, still shaking with laughter. "Its irreversible," he managed to get out between chuckles.
Harry's eyes widened, and too fainted.
A/N: Yay! Another chapter! Congratulations to ReaderBookwormReader, for your brilliant and crazy idea! Well done everybody else, too, though!
Harry: You better review, did you see the humiliation I had to go through for this story?!
Coco: You heard him, guys! Get reviewing!
Harry: Yeah, or else I'll come to your house and burp the Alphabet for you ALL NIGHT!
Coco: Er, thanks for that, Harry!
Ginny: *Drools over Harry's body*
Coco: Oh, for goodness sake, Harry! Put something on!
Harry: *Huffs* Fine… *Goes to put some clothes on*
Ginny: *snaps awake as if she was in a trance*. Erm… *wipes drool of chin* Right… I'd better go… Guys, remember to review!
Xo
~Coco