So, I got a couple reviews (Dark Angel of Pain and Chaos, Musette Fujiwara, and sweetsurprise26!) this time. That's cool...I guess I was just used to getting a bit more than 2 reviews on a chapter when I posted stuff a lot more frequently a few years back. Do people just not really review stuff anymore? Is that out of the internet social "norm"? Am I asking for too much? : [ Or is it just because there aren't any vampires in this story? XD

Haha, anyways, here is chapter four.

Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga is to Stephenie Meyer as this plot is to me.

Chapter 4: Surreptitiously

Upon awakening, I found myself dreading work today. The fact that I envisioned spending another day with Edward made myself dread what I felt was happening.

After managing to drag myself to work, I had to throw away my grim exterior and replace it with a cheerier one to please customers. Two hours of pretending to not care that I wasn't within ten feet of Edward passed by and I could feel it within me that I was falling for him.

My 'get out of jail free' card walked through the door and I couldn't tell if I was upset or relieved. I pretended I hadn't noticed him until he got up to the counter, "Hey Bella…when do you go on break? We need to talk."

"Uh…" I looked at a clock, it was time for my break but I didn't know if talking to him would be the best thing right now.

"Please Bella?" He begged quietly.

"Now I guess…" I got one of the other girls to cover my spot while I went out for my break.

He followed me back to my tiny office, "I've been trying to contact you for a week Bella. I've called you probably a hundred times and I've been over to your apartment once or twice. Why won't you talk to me?"

Calmly, I sat down in my chair and sighed, "Why would you think I'd want to talk to you?"

"Because…because I know you Bells, you've probably been wondering why I ended our relationship." He sat down in the chair across from my desk and leaned towards me.

"Okay, let's say I have, what do you think I've been going through?" I poised the question with a quiet ferocity I didn't know I had.

"Too much for one person. Probably going through every detail wondering where we went wrong. Wondering if it was your fault…Bella I'm so sorry. I just couldn't go through with it. I thought we were perfect for each other…I felt like you were the one, you know?" He huffed evenly.

I only nodded.

"I don't know what happened…I loved you so much but after we were engaged and we started talking about the wedding…I got freaked out and it didn't feel right." He leaned further over the desk and tried to grab my hand.

I leaned as far back as I could before my chair hit the wall, "Couldn't you have talked to me about this rather than just breaking our engagement off for no apparent reason? Do you have any idea how much I cried that night?"

That was an outright lie, but I wanted him to suffer.

He shut his eyes and let his head hang, "Yes, I should have talked to you, but I knew you'd tell me I was just getting too anxious or something. Yes, I was anxious, but something inside of me just didn't feel right about it. And I'm sorry for making you cry, you know I hate seeing you cry more than anything."

"Sterling…you can't just…break up with women like that. I had no warning, no signs telling me we were on the rocks. You just broke up with me and I had to go home wondering what had just happened." I complained.

His hands grabbed at his hair, "I know…I feel so horrible for breaking up with you like that. I want to make it up to you, but being apart like this makes any attempt at repairing this awkward."

"Look, why don't we just agree never to speak again? It would be easier on both of us." I huffed, frustrated.

"Don't you see though? I do want to see you again." He laughed lightly.

"Huh?" I was now confused.

"Maybe I just got premature cold feet…but I hate being away from you. These past few days have been torture for me." He gave me a longing look. "Bella, I want you back in my life…but…just as my girlfriend. We were perfectly happy that way." He smiled.

"I don't want to be 'just as your girlfriend' Sterling! Can't you see what I want? I want to get married and maybe have kids. I want someone to lie down with and feel perfectly happy just being in his arms." I leaned over my desk at him and he leaned back into his chair.

"Bella…I'm just not ready for all that. I'm twenty four…I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for marriage and kids. Surely you can try to understand." He pleaded quietly.

It was my turn to sit back in my chair; sure, maybe I understood, but I didn't want him to be the one to say he wasn't ready. I thought we were a perfect match but apparently he had commitment issues, great!

"I need to get back to work Sterling." I stood up, hoping he would too…he didn't.

"No you don't, we've been in here for five minutes. Just sit down and talk to me about this." He asked slightly commandingly.

Begrudgingly, I sat back down in my chair, "If you want to talk in depth about this we might as well go to a couple's therapist or something. From everything you've said so far you want to get back together, just not to get married." I grumbled and rubbed my forehead.

"We don't need to pay someone to listen to our problems. We can talk this out Bell, we're mature adults." He replied persuasively.

This was really beginning to feel like razors scraping against my nerves or something, "If I say what I want…someone is going to get mad and we're going to end up yelling. I'm just saying a therapist would give us a place to go to talk it out rationally and calmly."

He nodded, "If going to a therapist will make you feel more comfortable then we'll go, okay?"

Sterling was always an expert compromiser; I'd always told him he'd be an excellent negotiator for the FBI or somebody like that.

I nodded my head and sighed. "Don't sound so depressed Bella, you got what you wanted."

"It's not even about that." I sighed softer this time; in truth, I was wondering why I pushed so hard for this to happen. After all, didn't I not want to be around Sterling? I didn't want to be with Edward, but I would rather be around him with a platonic relationship than to go back to being 'just a girlfriend' to Sterling…as odd as that was.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked softly.

"I just didn't want to be at work today. I took yesterday off and it was wonderful…I'm just tired of work right now." I huffed loudly.

"Take a vacation then. You've been working here for almost five years, have you ever taken a vacation?" He asked politely.

I laughed to myself, "No…I guess I have a lot of time saved up though. Maybe I'll go drive to Montana and chill at a ranch for a week, what do you think?"

He rolled his eyes, "You'd die without your modern technology."

"I wear overalls, drink green tea, and do yoga every day. I'm not completely dependant on technology." I smirked.

"Sure," He laughed, "well I need to get going. I'll schedule an appointment as soon as I can, just make sure to listen to my message if I leave you one."

I nodded as he stood up to leave.

Work finally ended and when I got up to my apartment, all I wanted to do was sleep. I flopped on the couch and fell asleep immediately.

Someone woke me up by knocking on my door. "Who is it?" I called.

"It's Edward."

I ran to the door, surprising even myself, but I waited a few seconds until I opened the door, "Hey, what's going on?"

"Not too much…I was bored and didn't know if you were home from work yet. Were you asleep?" He looked at my cheek and smirked.

"Uh…yeah, why?" I rubbed my hand over my face.

"The left side of your face is red." He grinned.

"Ugh…well yes, I was sleeping. Work was just exhausting today…oh, that reminds me. Come in, I need to make a phone call really fast." I walked over to my phone and dialed the district manager; I asked how much vacation time I had: a month. I proceeded to ask if I could take two weeks off and she said I could take the whole month if I wanted. "No, no, just two weeks is fine." She agreed and asked when I'd like to start my vacation. "Tomorrow?" She said that was fine and that was the end of the conversation.

Edward was standing just inside of my door when I turned around, "You can sit down if you'd like."

He smiled, "Didn't want to get too comfortable if you made me leave or something."

"Why would I make you leave?" I laughed, slightly confused.

He looked down at the floor and shook his head as he laughed to himself, "I don't know, just being cautious. So…work was tiresome? Were you exceptionally busy today?"

I put some water to boil to make some green tea, "We're always busy…after five years you learn how to cope with being tired of it…but today I was just completely wiped out."

"Could you make me a cup as well?" He asked from my couch.

"Sure, no problem." I smiled.

"So, you've been working there for five years? Wow…no wonder you're such an amazing coffee-maker." He grinned with his chin propped up on his hand.

"It's engrained into my brain. It would take a long time to forget how to make coffee." I made a tiny joke at him and he laughed.

"What were you talking about on the phone a moment ago, if you don't mind me asking?" He asked politely.

"I haven't taken any vacation since I started working. I have time saved up so I'm taking two weeks off. I need it too." I smiled and poured the water into two mugs after it started whistling.

"Oh, I wish you'd told me. I might've tried to take you to London." His grin was a little too wide.

"Like I told you before, I couldn't afford it."

I shrugged and brought him his tea, "Mm, it tastes better today."

I smiled in acknowledgement.

"That reminds me…when we were talking about that before…I was going to tell you something but we were interrupted by…by that guy that bumped into you! Well yeah, um…I was going to offer to help cover some of your expenses…if it wouldn't bother you too much." He almost had a sad puppy face on.

"No Edward, I barely know you. I couldn't ask you to do that." I shook my head firmly.

"We have talked a lot though. I know your personality at least…maybe not your likes and dislikes…but I think we know each other more than you think we do." He smirked.

He was right…we had talked a considerable amount over the past few days. I couldn't help but to think how much more peaceful this was than being with Sterling.

"I could never ask you to pay my way to London, Edward. I'm a pretty independent woman you know, I'd die of embarrassment if you were to pay for me," I grinned.

He laughed, "You American woman do love being independent…I just wish you'd learn to let a man take care of you from time to time. We do like to take care of our sweethearts whether you'd know it or not." His smile was almost a caress against those walls around my hearts.

"I think we know it all too well…we just don't want to feel like we're taking advantage of our men." I rebutted.

"Couldn't I just pay for you, and you pay me back at your convenience? I don't charge interest like credit card companies do and I won't slap on a late fee if you don't me pay every month." He grinned.

I shook my head, "I just want to pay for it, okay?"

He sighed, "You're giving up a wonderful time to be in London too. Just when it's between summer and fall…" "You said you wished that I had told you and you might have been able to take me…even if I let you pay for me, you probably couldn't have taken me because of whatever's on your schedule." I pointed out.

"I also said I might've tried to take you to London…I may not be able to take you there, but I could take you somewhere in the continental U.S." He was holding it over my head like some delicious treat.

"I'm not letting you pay for me Edward…if we went anywhere I mean."

"Why don't we go to Arizona and see the Grand Canyon? It's not too far from here. A few hours drive, what do you say? You could just pay for gas, I'd drive."

The toothpaste commercial worthy smile was unleashed on me again.

"I just don't know if it's right for us to go somewhere like this together so soon after meeting." I sighed.

"What would it hurt? We're only friends, right?" He gave me a look that made me feel guilty for some reason.

"Yeah…we're just friends…but weird things happen when two people spend time together like that. I don't want to end up in an awkward situation." I proposed.

"I could put you in an awkward situation right now, what's the difference between us talking right now and us talking in a car on the highway?" He replied right back.

"I'm not talking about that…well maybe a little bit…but I imagine we'd stay at a hotel…and it'd be less expensive with one room…but even with separate beds…I just haven't known you long enough to sleep in the same room as you." I sighed slowly.

He laughed for a moment before responding, "I'll sleep in the car then."

All right, things will get a little spicier from here, I promise. I know you all want to read the delicious details of their first kiss and whatnot, but you'll have to wait a little longer for that. I have an evil knack for delaying things. : )

Btw, who are you guys picturing Sterling as? I was wondering if I should just cast him as Jacob or someone to include some more Twilight characters? Or do you like only having the character names 'Bella' and 'Edward'? Maybe we can all just picture Sterling as whomever we secretly want Bella to be with? haha.

Either way, REVIEW. Please? *puppy eyes*

*ShiningStarr*