I feel the need to warn you...if you are the sentimental type...get the tissues now.

Chapter 3 - How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye

Crowley Corners, Tennessee; December 15, 2002

Robbie Ray sat on the window seat in his bedroom staring blankly out over their wheat fields. They look barren now that the spring wheat had been harvested and the winter wheat was freshly planted.

It had snowed earlier in the afternoon, not too much, about two or three inches. It was just the right amount to cover everything in a white blanket and make it feel like Christmas. The moon's reflection on the snow gave the fields a pristine shine. For a simple farmer, the view could be considered breath taking. Everything looked so picture perfect. In reality, it was anything but perfect.

He glanced quickly to his left, where his loving wife of 16 years laid resting and sighed in disgust.

He briefly wondered how everything had gone so wrong, so quickly. His music career had skyrocketed, nearly everyone in the country knew his song Achy Breaky Heart. He had been nominated for several country awards, and even managed to win a few of them. Back at home, the farm was turning a profit and his kids were growing up beautifully. Jackson was a kind hearted soul that would do anything for anybody. And Miley, well she was going to follow in her daddy's footsteps someday. Ah heck, she could already sing prettier than her Aunt Dolly, who was considered a country music darling.

How could one visit to the doctor's change everything? Susan had been having constant headaches, so Robby Ray being the loving and wonderful husband he is, insisted that she go see the doctor and try to get the problem fixed.

After a few tests were run, the verdict was clear. Cancer. It had already spread throughout her entire body. Terminal. There was nothing they could do to help her. No Chemotherapy. No surgery. No experimental drugs. Nothing. The doctor had given her 6 months at best; that was in June. It was now December. Time was running out.

A soft rustling of sheets over his shoulder caught his attention. Robbie stood from the window seat and walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge waiting for his angel to fully wake up from her nap.

Susan turned her head to look at her loving husband with sad eyes. "Robbie, what's wrong?" she said in a voice still thick with sleep.

Robbie reached down and began to tenderly stroke her hand. "It's not supposed to happen like this." he said, shaking his head repeatedly.

Susan softly smiled at her husband. No woman could possibly feel as loved as she had over the years. Robbie Ray was truly the perfect husband - kind and caring, attentive and understanding, passionate and loving. Susan felt blessed everyday to have Robbie Ray in her life. "I know its not, but sometimes we can't control these things. Its in God's hands now. We just have to wait and see how his plan plays out." she said with sad eyes.

Robbie's temper uncharacteristically flared at that statement. "How can you say this is God's plan?!?" he hollered as he jumped up from the bed and began pacing the floor of their bedroom. "To take the life of a loving mother from her children? Separate two lovers that promised to be together forever? How is that God's plan??" Robbie yelled. He certainly wasn't upset with his wife, but his emotions desperately needed an outlet.

Susan watched as her strong husband was slowly coming apart before her very eyes. Robbie was always the one that told everyone else that god has a reason for everything. For him to be questioning his own faith, Robbie had clearly given up all hope.

Susan felt the tears in her eyes and refused to let them fall. She would not sit here and do nothing while her husband fell apart. 'I don't want to do this, but I can't bear the thoughts of him facing this grief alone.' Slowly, she rolled out of bed, walked over to Robbie, grabbed his shoulders and began shaking him with as much force as she could manage from her tired body. "You listen to me Robbie Ray. You will not blame anyone for anything. You will always be a caring, understanding, loving father to those two wonderful children and never regret a minute of your life." she said as her eyes seemed to glow with a surreal light.

Robbie wanted to look away from the intense stare, but found it impossible to do so. "Yes ma'am." he finally responded in a weary voice. Desperation was so evident in his usual strong and confident voice.

Susan's heart painfully constricted in her chest at the sound of surrender in Robbie's reply. "Oh Robbie, never mourn our love. Celebrate it. Cherish it. Teach our children that love is god's greatest gift." she said as she wrapped her arms around his chest and squeezing tightly.

Robbie burrowed his head into Susan's neck and wished he could hold her forever. "I will. I promise you that." he said then pulled back from the hug to look her in the eyes. "I have loved you every day of my life and will continue to love you every day until I die. You know that right?" he solemnly vowed to her.

The sheer power of Robbie's sentiment finally broke Susan's resolve as the tears cascaded down her pale face. She hugged him again as she cried for everything she was going to be leaving behind.

After a few minutes of holding one another, Susan had finally calmed down enough to talk again. "There's one more thing that I think we need to talk about."

Robbie just nodded his head. "What's that darlin?"

Susan sighed. "Miley."

Robbie released his hold on his wife but still held onto her hands as he questioned her. "Miley? What about her? She's a little angel. That singing voice of hers gets prettier everyday."

Susan shook her head and gentle pulled Robbie back toward the bed so that they could sit down. "Its not about that Robbie. But I definitely agree with you. Our baby would sing to the world if she was given the chance." Susan smiled at the memory of Miley singing at the State Fair this spring. She was born to be on stage.

Susan shook the wonderful memory from her head and tried to get back to what she wanted to talk about. "I don't even know how to say this."

Robbie put his hand on her cheek and gently stroked his thumb across it. "Speak from your heart darlin. Its never failed you before." he said waiting patiently for his wife to find the right words.

Susan gathered her thoughts, her husband's touch giving her the courage to continue. "Miley is going to be extra special. And she's going to need you to be her protector and teacher because I won't be there for her." she spoke slowly, her voice laced with regret at the final words.

Robbie leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. "Hush now. Don't talk like that." he whispered.

Susan shook her head defiantly. "Robbie, it's the truth." After a deep breath, she continued. "Now listen to me. Miley can do things that other girls can't."

Robbie chuckled. "Don't I know it. You seen her on Blue Jeans lately? That girl can ride. I don't know if I should try to get her a singing gig or a shot at the rodeo."

Susan sighed in frustration at her husband's cluelessness. "This isn't coming out how I want it to." Susan shook her head and started again. "Miley has a special gift, it was taken from her a long time ago, but sometime pretty soon, she is going to get it back."

Confusion clouded Robbie's loving eyes. "Darlin, what are you taking about?"

Once more, Susan locked eyes with her husband and spoke in a commanding tone. "Swear to me that you will never turn your back on those children, no matter what. Whatever problems or conflicts arise, you will be there for them and support them and love them. NO MATTER WHAT."

Robbie was taken aback by the intensity of Susan's words, but saw no reason to disagree. "I swear. Anything for them. You know that."

Susan suddenly felt very guilty for her actions. She had tried very hard over the years to never purposely influence her husband. She didn't think she had put anything in his mind that wasn't already there, but one can never be 100% sure about these things. "I just…I just needed to hear you say it out loud."

Robbie just smiled that mega watt smile and kissed her softly. After a few moments of kissing, Susan placed a hand on Robbie's chest to halt his further advances. "Can you go get Miley for me?"

Robbie nodded his head and left the room in search of his little girl.

A few minutes later, a skinny little girl with pigtails in her hair walked into the bedroom. She was wearing her favorite snowman pajamas and carrying her stuffed bear - Berry. "Hey mama. How're you feeling?" she asked while she climbed up onto the bed to sit next to her mother who was sitting propped up against the head board.

Susan looked down at her little girl as Miley rested her head against her shoulder. "I'm okay baby girl, but I don't know for how much longer."

Miley quickly wrapped her small arms around her mother's midsection. "Please don't leave mama."

It was said with such innocence, it broke Susan's heart. "Oh my darlin baby girl. If I could stay here with you forever, I would, but that isn't going to happen." she responded while hugging her daughter. "Now we need to talk about something important."

Miley sat up quickly to give her mother her complete attention. "Yes, mama?" she said, wiping a few tears from her eyes.

Susan smiled. "A long time ago, I told you that you wouldn't remember something. But I think its time you did."

Miley scrunched up her face in confusion at her mother's words. "What are you talking about mama. I don't understand."

Susan took a deep breath and considered what she was about to do. If she did not let Miley remember her gift before she died, then there was a possibility that she might never remember. But was it fair to do that to her baby girl? No, this was a part of who she was. And someday, it might even help Miley as much as Susan's gift had helped her.

Susan turned a little in the bed and faced her daughter directly. After grasping both of her shoulders firmly, she spoke in a strong, clear voice. "Miley Ray Stewart. You remember what you can do. Keep it a secret. Don't let anyone know what you can do unless you trust them with your life." Susan finally released her grip and added in a hushed whisper, "I don't want anyone to hurt you."

Miley was confused, but calm. She noticed that her mom had kicked the comforter on the floor when she had twisted her position in bed. As her hand reached out, the edge of the comforter seemed to be dragged straight to her hand as if attached by a string. Miley turned to look at her mother. "Mama, do you just see…?" she asked, shock clearly evident on her face.

Susan nodded with a content smile on her face. "I did. You should have seen what you used to do when you were a baby." Miley's eyes widened at her mother's unexpected statement. "Now learn how it works and keep it hidden. I am certain that there are people in this world that would not understand,. Some would be frightened, and others would want to use you. You stay close to your family and always be wary about those you let get close to you. Make sure you can trust them completely."

Miley nodded her head reverently. "I will Mama." she promised. "But, how will I know if I can really trust someone?"

"When the time comes, you'll know." she smiled hugging her daughter to her chest and kissing her head. "Now, how about you run get your brother for me."

Miley nodded as she pulled back from the hug. She leaned forward and softly kissed her mother's lips. "Okay Mama. I love you so much."

Susan smiled sadly at her only daughter. "I love you too baby girl"

Miley grabbed her bear and headed down to the living room to look for her brother. He was sitting on the couch watching a football game with her daddy. "Jackson, mom wants you." she informed him.

Jackson jumped off the couch and ran up the stairs two at a time.

Miley sat down next to her daddy and laid her head on his shoulder. "Daddy? Mama's gonna be gone soon, isn't she?"

Robbie looked down and could only nod his head.

Miley crawled into her daddy's lap, hugged him as tightly as she could and cried her eyes out.

Robbie Ray wished he could take her pain away, but all he could do was rock her back and forth and whisper soothing words in her ear in a feeble attempt to calm the heart-broken child.

Jackson lightly knocked on his mother's open bedroom door as he entered the room. "You wanted to talk to me?" he said.

Susan smiled at her oldest. "Yes I did. Come here my baby boy." Jackson walked over to the bed and took a seat next to his mother. Susan grasped one of his hands tightly. "Do you know how proud I am of you?" she said, her voice full of emotion.

Jackson was slightly uncomfortable with the direction this chat was heading "Ma…" he said, trying to stop her from…saying goodbye?

Susan shook her head. "No, you understand better than your sister what is going to happen and how things are going to change. And because of that, I need to ask you a favor."

Jackson dropped his eyes and nodded his head. "Anything for you ma."

Susan briefly wondered if this was a fair thing to ask of her son, but if she didn't ask Jackson, there was no one else. "Please always take care of your sister. Be there for her. In the future, things are going to get scary and she may not have found any one yet to take care of her. I need you to be that person until she does. Can you do that one thing for me?"

Jackson's eyes widened slightly as his mother's request. Sure he fought with his sister from time to time, but he would do anything for her. She was family. "Yes ma'am. I will. I promise."

Susan pulled Jackson forward into a big bear hug. "Oh sweetheart. I love you so much. I'm going to miss seeing the amazing young man I just know you're going to be."

Jackson had tried to be mature about his mother's sickness. He had tried to hide away the pain he felt and put on a good front for the rest of the family. He held Miley on many occasions while she let her emotions cry themselves out of her. Now it was Jackson's turn. He looked in his mother's eyes and simply said, "Then don't go."

This only caused Susan's eyes to water, as she fought hard to keep back the onslaught of tears those three simple words created. "I have to. But I promise I will always be watching." Susan answered as she pulled him back to her chest and held him while they both cried.

After she felt he had finally calmed down enough, she playfully ruffled his hair and gentle hit his arm. "Alright, its late. Go tell your daddy I said its time for bed. For all of us." Jackson nodded his head as he stood up from the bed.

As Jackson headed for the door, he heard his mother call out to him. "I love you Jackson Rod Stewart."

Jackson turned back to his mother and tried to freeze this one moment in his mind forever. "I love you too ma." he said and quickly rushed out the door to find his father.

Not long after Jackson had disappeared out the door, Robbie quickly reappeared. "Jackson said it was time for bed." he commented as he headed over to the chest of drawers to get his pajamas.

Susan got up from the bed and walk over slowly to stand behind her husband. "It is. And I want one last night in your arms." she said as she helped him out of his shirt.

Robbie shook his head. "Don't talk like that darlin."

Susan did not want to feel anymore sorrow tonight. She slowly slid the silk robe off her upper body and let it slide to the floor. "Robbie Ray Stewart. Please make love to me."

Robbie had never denied his wife anything, and if this was to be their last night together, then so be it. "Yes Ma'am" he said putting his arms under her rear and lifting her up. Susan wrapped her legs around his waist as their mouths joined in a fiery kiss that promised a night to remember.

Robbie carried her over to the bed where they would spend the next few hours showing each other how much they were loved, over and over again.

After a wonderfully fulfilling evening with her husband, Susan got up from the bed, leaned down and kissed him on the lips one last time.

Then like an angel, she visited both of her children and kissed each one of them on the foreheads and stroked their hair lovingly and said a final goodbye.

Her goodbyes completed, Susan went down stairs. She put on her husband's leather duster and quietly opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch just in time to see the sun peaking over the hills to welcome another day.

Susan sat down on the rocking chair on the porch and watched as the sun rose. When it was finished, she closed her eyes and softly whispered, "I'm ready."

Not much later, Robbie stepped out on the front porch heading for the barn to start the daily chores. He noticed his wife sitting on the rocker. He reached down to gently touch her shoulder and watched as his wife's body hunched forward like dead weight.

Robbie Ray dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around the frail body sitting in the rocker. "I'll miss you so much. I love you." He placed one last kiss on her quickly cooling lips. "I swear, I will make you proud."

Next chapter should be a little lighter...thank goodness. - Jess