Chapter Four:
Straight into Darkness

Terra Branford had spent much of her childhood locked up in a room where scary men in thick glasses and long, white coats would poke and prod her with various instruments and machines. Rarely did she partake in activities that most people would take for granted, such as sleeping, bathing, and even eating. Usually that lack of participation wasn't by choice. How she survived, she could only guess. How she had ended up there, she couldn't remember. How long she had been there, she didn't know. With the same thing happening every day, with no additional change in scenery, the days blurred together.

At some point in her young age, a tall, dark-skinned man, introducing himself as Leo, put himself between her and the men in white coats. The aftermath was still quite clear, despite the effect of time. The two of them walking down a sterile metallic hallway. He in the lead, Terra one step behind due to wobbly disused legs. The warmth of her new clothes, socks, and shoes. His smell of tobacco, sweat, and shoe polish. The softness and squeezability of her new stuffed friend, Mr. Oogly-Moogly the moogle, a gift given to her to, as Leo had put it, "commemorate your new-found freedom."

At the time, Terra hadn't understood what commemorate meant, but did understand the basics of freedom. Locked rooms no longer confined her! Needles were a thing of the past! Darkness could be forgotten! Anyone wanting her to set fire to something could sod off. She was in control! And Leo only requested she pledge her allergies to the Emperor!

No. Wait.

She had to pledge her allied gents?

No… That wasn't right either.

She had to pledge something to the Emperor whatever that something was. It was quite possible he had wanted her allegiance, something she had quite willingly given, despite not knowing what it was, just for a taste of freedom. And then to have both of those ripped from her by force…

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's backtrack a bit.

Leo had explained to her that he was a General and that he wanted her to join the Empire's youth academy for schooling and defense training. He had also said that it had been the idea of some man named 'The Emperor,' a thank you for allowing them to study her magic. They both wanted to help her achieve the skills and confidence to shed her troubled days as a scientific experiment. Leo in particular wanted her to become a stable and productive member of their proud Vectorian society.

The youth academy itself was typically reserved for orphans with nowhere to go and troubled children of dubious backgrounds and talents. As none of the other children that she'd be joining were unique in the same aspect as her, i.e. magic, she had been urged to keep her abilities a secret to everybody. After the hell of living as a science experiment, Terra had no qualms with lying about it. However, that fire was a part of who she was and being a small, scared, and slightly inquisitive child she just had to ask, "Why?"

Leo had only smiled and taken her tiny hand in his as they continued down that seemingly never-ending hallway. "It's for their protection more so than your own, my dear," he had said. "Besides, it would be more prudent for you to learn swordplay. Magic will not always be able to protect you." Terra hadn't understood what that had meant then, but it was a lesson she'd later learn, and one that would leave her all alone.

And alone was how Terra now found herself. At some point, the metal walls of the laboratories had faded away to that of a foggy green forest. Her hand had suddenly had gone very cold, a feeling that hadn't been misjudged. General Leo was nowhere to be seen.

"Leo?" she called before immediately clamping a hand over her mouth. That voice that had come out was one that wasn't hers, yet was. Further investigation of her surroundings had her questioning whether the trees had shrunk and left her vigorously shaking her head to order the chaos. One issue at a time! Leo disappeared, her voice deepened (yet was still squeaky), and the forest around her was shrinking. She squeezed the now tattered Mr. Oogly-Moogly tighter in hopes that it would bring her comfort. What could possibly happen next?

"General Leo?" she called again with caution. Again, there was no response, not even the stereotypical forestry echo. All she heard, over the ringing in her ears, was a noise coming from deeper within. It wasn't just a noise; it was a gaggle of noises, almost like a glaring of cats trying to speak like people. 'Kupo?' Where had she heard that before?

Terra took slow steps in the direction of the chatter, all the while consciously refraining from making a sound. Hopefully, this wasn't a monster looking for lunch or a maniac looking to snag her gil purse, a gil purse filled to the brim with no gil. If this were a thief, he'd be in for quite a surprise.

When she arrived at the area she thought she had heard the voices from, she discovered that there was nothing to be found. And yet the chatter was louder now than it had been before and assaulted her with pepperings from all sides. A snapping twig from behind sent her spinning in that direction to find, again, nothing. Her eyes darted around the landscape, but all she could find were trees, trees, brush, and trees.

A tug on her dress gave her enough of a start that she squealed loudly and nearly lost control of her bladder. She spun around and, at first glance, found no one behind her until a second tug brought her attention to her knees. A short, winged teddy bear of the white fur variety grinned widely at her. Its bright red pom-pom protruding from its head bobbed happily as its head moved.

Terra's mouth worked in silent exclamation as realization smacked her across the face. A moogle! A real life moogle![1] She squealed once more before scooping the little guy up in a hug so tight she nearly crushed it. "You're so cute!" she cooed. "I could just eat you!"

The moogle smacked her across the face with a paw, the surprise freeing it of her death grip. It hopped to the ground before looking up at her. Its solid black eyes twinkled in the dim sunlight filtering through the canopy, and with what sounded like a female voice said, "Terra, kupo!"

This gave Terra a reason to pause. How did the moogle know her name? Actually, since when could moogles speak like people? She frowned down at it and tried depuzzling this puzzle. She'd either found the seventh wonder of the world or she was dreaming.

The little guy folded its little arms across its little chest and again grinned up to her. "Terra, kupo! Wake up! Kupopopo!"

What? Wake up? But she wasn't- Oh, right. She was.

Aside from the moon's light filtering in from the nearby window, it was near pitch black when Terra begrudgingly opened her eyes. She was in her bunk in the cadets' quarters. Dincht's snoring assaulted her ears like a freight train through paper. A silhouette loomed over her, and a rather drunken one at that based on the pungent smell of rum assaulting her nose. She turned to bury her face into her pillow like a chocobo with its head in the sand to escape the stench. With the familiarity of the shadow and the smell, she could only come to one conclusion. Celes had been drinking again.

"Terra…" Celes' whispered voice was uncharacteristically sing-song like. Normally, she was gruff and no-nonsense, or at least it was how she presented herself. "C'mon, mate! Get up!"

Terra grumbled her exhaustion. Couldn't this wait until morning?

Celes, however, had other ideas. She ripped the covers off the bed and tried pulling Terra off by her arm. Sadly, with her coordination dulled, all she managed to do was pull herself down on the mattress. "Oi! I want to talk to you!"

Terra sighed as a warm body snuggled up close to her and giggles filled her ears. The coolness of a glass bottle rubbed up against her bare thigh, forcing a startled yelp out into her pillow. Now wide awake, she sat on her knees and quickly scouted the area. None of the other cadets appeared to be awake or aware of what was transpiring. They were snoozing away quite complacently, despite Dincht rattling the windows.

How jealous she was of them.

Terra turned her attention to the drunk in her bed. Celes was cutely splayed out, one arm dangling over the side of the bed, booze bottle cradled in the other, a grin of blissful stupidity. It was as adorable as it was strange. And slightly intriguing, especially considering that she wasn't wearing pajama pants or upper body support. Well, neither was Terra, but she wasn't climbing into someone else's bed drunk as a monk. Still, she never would have thought that Celes would be into pink hearts.

"What's wrong, Celes?" Terra whispered. The last thing they needed was for anyone to wake up. Breaking curfew was not taken lightly. Of course, it wasn't like anyone could hear anything over the snoring. "Is everything okay?"

Celes sat up (after a few attempts) and placed a warm calloused finger on Terra's lips. "Shhh…" she whispered with a slur. "Not here, hey."

It hadn't been until she had been led outside by the hand did Terra question their destination. Celes only shushed her and continued driving them beyond the loosely guarded gates of the academy compound, straight into the outskirts of Vector and into the night. They followed the paved road, barefoot, for a silent eternity before slipping off onto a path lesser traveled where the waist high grass tickled Terra's bare thighs. The same must have been happening to Celes, unless her uncontrollable giggling was due to some other reason.

"Where are we going?" Terra repeated as she tried her best not to slip on the dew-wet grass. Bare feet and slippery vegetation certainly did not mix. She'd have to remember that the next time Celes decided to take her on a half-naked night-time adventure.

Celes cackled like a lunatic, a familiar sound when blitzed off her rocker. "Old man Ironsides said I wouldn't graduate." She took several long gulps from her bottle of booze before trying to wink. Said wink ended up looking more like her entire face collapsed in on itself and somehow, by defying all known laws of physics, managed to pop back into place. It was as if the wink factory had a hiccup in the manufacturing process. It took all of Terra's resolve not to laugh out loud. "Well, I'm graduating top of the class, with honors, and the Emperor wants to make me General! So-" Celes blew a raspberry. "-him. And because he was such a huge pain in the bloody arse the last eight years, I broke into his liquor cabinet." She seemed prouder of that fact than graduating with honors and being promoted straight to general.

Terra couldn't help but chuckle. Instructor Ironsides certainly was a grumpy old man, but he was the way he was because he had already dealt with his share of bullshit and didn't need any more from a bunch of kids. Still, that didn't explain Celes' kittenish behavior nor where they were going. Did he get under her skin that much or was it something else?

"But he also said that I'd be better suited as a candy striper," Terra said. Of course, she wouldn't mind that. She'd rather use her magic to heal than destroy. Hopefully, in her new post-academy role she'd be doing just that. She just hoped she didn't have to wear a ridiculous uniform that made her look like a giant candy cane.

Celes snorted with laughter and hugged Terra to remain upright. "You're too cute…" she dreamily murmured as she cupped a cheek. For a moment, it looked as if she were going to… No, couldn't have been. She'd known Celes for a long time, and this was something new. Both the comment and the action caused Terra to burn with something akin to embarrassment. In a way, she was almost disappointed it hadn't panned out to where she thought it would.

Celes chuckled again. She broke the embrace to lead them further down the path. "He called you a 'candy arsed stripper,' sweetheart."

Sweetheart? Terra wasn't sure if it showed on her face, but this puzzled her. In all their years as being friends Celes had never called that. It was just the alcohol drastically changing her demeanor, right?

"Besides," she continued, "you showed him, hey. Graduating with the distinction of being the only woman—hell, person proficient in the Empire as a triple wielder. Dual swords plus magic… I can't even bloody do that."

A tickle under her underwear brought to Terra' attention Celes' arm around the small of her back and a hand on her hip. Terra had to look again to make sure she hadn't seen things. Yup. A hand had most certainly snuck in under her pan- "Celes? Is there a reason you have your hand in my knickers? I mean, I don't mind, but…" It was odd and exciting at the same time.

An awkward silence followed before Celes sheepishly grinned and removed the offending hand. "Sorry, mate," she said as she rubbed the back of her head. "I'm not really sure what happened there."

Terra mirrored the grin and leaned in close to Celes' face. The probability of sobriety downing in half a bottle's worth of booze was high, so Terra couldn't one hundred percent hold Celes accountable for her actions, playful though they may be. But it was incredible that she could still string together full coherent sentences. "And I suppose that it's the alcohol that's to blame."

"You can say that, mate."

The look on Celes' face dropped instantly when Terra said, "They say that people drink to run away, forget, or both. So, what are you running away from to forget about?" She poked her on the nose. "Something in that past you won't share with me?"

"I-" Celes refused eye contact and simply stared at the ground as they walked along. "I'm not running from anyone or anything," she said before taking a swig from her bottle. "You also won't share your past, so don't get all high and mighty."

And she wasn't going to. Not yet, anyway. "Touché." Terra laughed. "Then where are we going?"

A grin reemerged the depths of Celes' frown as well as a wink. "It's a mystery." She took Terra's hand in hers once again and hurried them down the old dirt road and its many twists and turns.

Rarely had Terra's adventures in the academy taken her just outside the city, maybe once or twice, so she had never really seen this part of rural Vector. At least, she had never seen it quite as she saw it tonight. Sure, she had seen the full moon bathe the landscape in its silvery glow before. She had also heard silence so deafening that she could hear the grass whisper to her. And the stars were in the same place as they were every night. But for some reason, everything looked different, felt different. Every other time she had been on the clock and never had the time to bask in nature's glory despite wanting to. She looked to the moon and held her arms out to soak up its energy. She still couldn't tell what the grass was whispering to her, but she suspected that it had something to do with the distraction of Celes' adorable drunken giggling and the occasional stray touch at her hip. And the stars, they were just as beautiful as they had been the first time she had seen them after her release from that laboratory all those years ago. To her, it looked as if someone had littered the sky with twinkling diamond dust.

It hadn't been long before Celes brought them to a small lake just off the beaten path nestled in the valley just outside the city. The two of them stood hand-in-hand on a high rocky bank overlooking the water. Terra gasped at the beauty of it, since no words could do it justice. The meadow beyond the lake rolled on for as far as the eye could see; the grass still whispering, but now dancing to its own tune. It all was capped and footed by a thin silvery fog that twirled about on the lake's surface, where, below her feet, the watery reflection was so clear it was like looking in a mirror. She could reach down through the portal and touch herself.

Terra couldn't wipe the smile from her face even if she wanted. "It's beautiful," she said with awe.

Celes returned the beam and sat down on the rocky overhang, her legs dangling over the water. After Terra joined her, she took another drink from her bottle. "It's why I brought you out here, hey," she said. "Figured you'd enjoy it."

"Well, that explains waking me up," Terra said. "But not the alcohol. If you're not running or trying to forget something, why the drinking?"

Celes sighed and leaned onto Terra's shoulder. "Because," she slurred, "I need courage."

Of course. Being promoted straight away so soon after graduation surely wasn't a simple matter to swallow whole. Terra could only imagine what was riding on Celes' shoulders, especially after the Emperor had paraded her in front of all of Vector with a speech. She didn't remember it all, but he had said things like "dawn of a new era" and "controlling magic for the good of the world." He then had followed that up by announcing Celes as the newest and youngest General of the Imperial forces. If she had been in those shoes, she'd be suffering from alcohol poisoning.

Terra gently rubbed Celes on the back before giving her a gentle squeeze. "You'll do fine in command," she said. "Most everyone respects you."

Celes snorted and continued to stare forlornly out at the lake. "That's…not what I need courage for," she slurred. "I've never been afraid of anything in my entire life, but when it comes to this, I choke up and lose my nerve."

Terra took a moment to wait for Celes to continue. When that failed, she forced eye contact. "Then what's wrong? This isn't like you, hey. Talk to me. I'm your friend." She watched as Celes broke eye contact to study the liquor bottle in her hand. It was a bit late to examine the label; more than half had gone belly-up. Her reluctance to speak filled Terra with dread. Was it her? Had she done something wrong? Had she made Celes sad somehow?

Celes took another drink before turning to study Terra. It was shocking to see tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. "I need to tell you something," she said. "It's the real reason I brought you out here. And please don't interrupt me, hey, because I…" She took a deep breath and then another drink. "I'm afraid and I don't think I'll be able to ever do this again."

Terra nodded and took a trembling hand in hers in a show of support. They had been friends since they met years ago in the academy where Celes had been the only person not to judge her because of hair color, shyness, or magical ability, especially after the incident of setting that what's-his-name's clothes on fire. Maybe it was because of Celes' over-protective nature. Maybe it had been because of their similarities and the things they had in common. But with Celes becoming a MagiTek General and Terra taking a role as a personal guard for Court Mage Kefka the possibility of the two of them having to go their separate ways was high. Perhaps this realization was causing Celes' overly sentimental and emotional state. Frankly, Terra wasn't happy about it either; Celes was her entire world.

Since this was the first time Terra had ever seen Celes this afraid of just talking, she remained patient as words fought for existence. So far, the only coherency had been Terra's name and the word 'I' repeated several times. She finally took pity and summed up what she thought was trying to be said. "You're afraid of us going separate ways, aren't you?"

Celes shook her head and mumbled, "No, I…" She stared at the bottle of rum in her hand once more before angrily tossing it over her shoulder. "Fuck it!" she muttered tersely.

Before Terra knew what had happened, Celes was kissing her, one hand tangled in her hair and the other on her thigh; the touch was gentle and warm, a stark contrast from the usual rough and cold demeanor. If time hadn't stopped, it certainly mimicked that of a blind, deaf, and dumb turtle, with Terra being the turtle. Everything around her dulled as she lost focus on her surroundings. All she could concentrate on was the softness of Celes' lips as they pressed against hers, Celes' golden hair entangling with her own, the warmth radiating from everywhere on her body that Celes touched, the rapid beating of hearts twain. There was a feeling in her heart that told her that she didn't want the moment to end, but then there was the strong smell of alcohol on Celes' breath that broke the moment. It couldn't be helped; Terra's nose wrinkled up in reflex.

Celes, the poor thing, was absolutely mortified. "Oh, god! This-" she stammered. "I'm so sorry! I didn't intend- I should have realized that you weren't-"

Terra shushed the panicking Celes with a smile and a finger to the lips. "It's okay," she soothed. She chuckled and touched their foreheads together. Their noses were touching as well; lips weren't too far behind. Even up close and unfocused, her gaze could not be torn from those sparkling blue eyes. For the first time since they had met, the emotional walls behind them had crumbled away, leaving behind windows into Celes' soul. If anything, it was more beautiful than the scene splayed out before them.

But…

What the hell was this aching in her heart and why was it making her head swim? Was she drowning? Or was this that one emotion that had been beyond her grasp since her days as a science experiment? This feeling, whatever it was, filled her to the brim, nearly to the point of bursting. Was it…?

"Terra?"

"Hmm?" Was Celes the one who had unlocked it? Of course, she was! That was a silly question.

"Promise me. Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll never forget me."

Terra reached up to softly caress a warm cheek. "What is this? I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, but…" Tears finally started rolling down Celes' cheeks. "I've never opened myself up to anyone before. And…I'm drunk and emotional. Please, just humor me."

"I…I can never forget you," Terra whispered. "You mean the world to me." She wasn't surprised when Celes kissed her once more. If anything, she welcomed it. It soothed the ache. It brought her to shore. She fell to her back and pulled Celes with her, all the while never breaking their connection. The weight on top of her, the hand under her shirt. She wanted more. Out of everything in her life, she had finally found something that made sense.

But that security didn't last long. After she had taken her shirt off, she was no longer in the outskirts of Vector. Instead, she was in a cold, sterile room somewhere in the Imperial Palace. And Celes was no longer Celes, but rather…Lord Kefka? He cackled as he removed himself from her personal space and clothed himself with a nearby multicolored robe.

Terra tried covering her shame but her arms wouldn't obey her commands. How had she gotten here? What happened to Celes? Why couldn't she move? She tried screaming, but nothing came out. Only she could hear her screams of terror in this nightmare. There was no way this was real! She had to be dreaming! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Lord Kefka bent down over her and caressed her cheek. He whispered harshly, "You, my little pet, are perfect in every single way now that you have your crown. Don't you think so?" He cackled once more, sending Terra's stomach into her throat and forcing her to close her eyes in terror. "What do you say we test that perfection? Hmm?"

When she reopened her eyes, the terrified Terra was standing in a large room ablaze with the carnage of nightmares. Fire magic engulfed her right hand and the katana in her left, but it was wrong; she only ever held her fire in her palms. There was never need to immerse herself in it. The room surrounding her, once filled with fancy tapestries and royal insignia, started collapsing due to the intense heat of the flames engulfing it; her flames.

At her feet laid a dying samurai, her other katana bloodily protruding out of his back. "Wherefore?" he weakly choked out. "Wherefore…doth thou…wish our demise?" She didn't, but she had no way of telling him that. After a quick look around, she saw other people in similar states as him, if not worse. There were broken bones. Limbs minus bodies. Bodies minus limbs. Charred flesh. Screaming. Wailing. Blood. Laughing.

She had caused this mess. She had injured those people. How she knew she didn't remember, but the feeling was strong enough to make her retch.

"Burn! Burn! Burn!" Kefka cackled as he danced and clapped his hands. "Burn them all to a crisp!"

Terra's body jerked. Lord Kefka. It was him. He was the one who made her do all this. No more! She wasn't going to be a puppet any longer! Fire sprang up all over her body as she raged. "I won't kill anyone else!" she cried. Surprisingly, that had been her voice controlled by her and not that ugly thing on her head.

Kefka ceased his dancing to give her a dark psychotic smile. It was a smile that sent shivers of fear running the length of her spine. "Is that so?" he said with the tone of an adult to a child. "Why, it seems that you need a new tiara. Don't fret, my dear. We'll get that taken care of quick as a wink!" He laughed a high-pitched cackling laugh. "Boys, show the little girl what we do to traitors who go rogue."

Terra panicked as a sea of Imperial soldiers approached her. She didn't want to fight. She wanted to heal. She wanted Celes to save her. She wanted to run away. But there was no choice! She had to fight! Her hand was forced! Her back was against the wall! She bellowed a war cry and charged towards Kefka, completely ignoring the soldiers. This proved to be a mistake. They managed to grab her and disarm her, all while that mocking laughter reverberated in her ears.

Terra screamed her frustrations and sent her flames expanding until they filled the entire room with a raging inferno. The intense heat created a fierce updraft that whipped embers and anything that wasn't bolted down around the room like a firenado. Everyone caught within this maelstrom shouted and screamed in intense pain and terror as their flesh melted down off their bones.

Kefka, seemingly unaffected by the deadly magical heat, just stood there laughing at her. Before her fire and consciousness went out, he clucked his tongue at her and waggled his finger disapprovingly. The amount of power she had used had taken its toll.

"Temper! Temper!" Kefka said with a chuckle from the edge of the darkness. "You can kick and scream all you want, my sweet little magic user. Everyone else is expendable, but you… You belong to me."

Celes startled awake from blood-curdling shrieks of fear. It was Terra! In her hurry to scramble, her bare feet slipped on the dew-wet grass which sent her tumbling through the bush she had been hiding behind. Her stomach cried out in pain, not liking that it had been pummeled once again. Ignoring the nausea, she forced herself into the hollowed log where she had hidden Terra hours earlier. The fear stricken girl was screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to claw her way from the inside out.

Celes dragged her out into the open and reassuringly held her in her arms. "It's okay, Terra," she murmured. "I'm here." Her reassurance lowered the shrieking to crying with some unintelligible mumbling mixed in. It was all she could really do for the time being, but as Terra wailed into her shoulder, Celes couldn't help feeling relieved that it was her tank top that was in a death-grip instead of her arm.

The exact measurement of time passing had been lost, but Celes was certain that it had been at least a couple of hours. Terra had cried herself hoarse long ago and finally quieted down to faint hiccupping. The sun decided that it wanted to play a game of peek-a-boo with them from between the trees. This told Celes that she had spent her time well alternating between wishing she could get some rest and wondering what the hell had set off such a reaction from someone who, in the past, had never let her fears get the best of her. Must've been one hell of a nightmare.

Thankfully, Terra had calmed down with soft whispers, gentle caressing of her hair, and tight hugs under the warmth of a sleeping bag nest. The last thing they needed was the Empire getting the jump on them because they had followed the trail of tears. Celes leaned back against the tree they were huddled in front of and tried to get something resembling rest until she felt it, that feeling of being watched. She opened her tired eyes and found Terra staring at her with own bleary, red tinged, exhaustion. It was a look that haunted her then and one that would continue haunting her even afterward. She had never seen a look of fear on anyone's face like she had in Terra's eyes that morning. What made it worse, and what eventually made her blood run cold, was what Terra hoarsely asked of her.

"Celes, who am I?"

[1] These winged teddy bears are a bit of a cute sasquatch. They frolic in dimly-lit, out of focus areas and are best at existing somewhere in the questionable zone between reality and the fevered dream of a madman.