Nearly There

Hello again. This is the third piece to go with "Betchin' Blog" and "Fecking Diary" This would be Near's private blog/ journal. and I borrowed from Wikipedia for this.

Hello again.

Yesterday Matthew offended me. He stated that he has hopes that in the future I shall end my life by failed consumption of a piece of lego. In a way though, I can see why his statement is cutting. It hurts because I -do- play with lego. I'm sixteen. True, they have architectural value that eases my thinking when I make things with them. But I'm sixteen. I should be past this.

I admit such a thing has never been a concern for me before. but... It's hit me. I'm going to be a father.

Dear Lord what have I -done-?

Well, I know exactly what I did. I promised to recount it today, did I not?

Of course, such a thing did not just "occur". It was meticulously planned out. I would have it no other way. It began with a confrontation with Linder, of course. I was very awkward... It went roughly along the lines of this... exactly.

N: (playing with Gundams, gestures to chair) Linder...sit. I must speak with you. Gevanni, Rester, you are excused.

(Gevanni and Rester exit)

H: Yes Near?

N: (still playing with Gundams) You are distracting me. From my work.

H: I am? how?

N: You are female.

H: I'm aware of that. But...how does... oh.

N: Yes. "oh". (smashes Gundams together)

H: What do you want me to do about this situation?

N: I'm not sure yet. You've been making me lose sleep, as well.

hH: I have?

N: Dreams. Odd ones.

H: You -are- sixteen...

N: I am aware of my age, Halle. (tosses the Gundams aside, standing)

H: You can't be blaming me for this. (looks very uncomfortable)

N: I am.

H: It isn't -My- fault that you find me...

N: Visually stimulating.

H: (arches eyebrow) "Visually Stimulating"?

N : That is what I said, yes.

H: so what do you intend to do, dismiss me?

N: ( wraps hair around his finger) That would be very impractical.

H: Then what do you suggest, Near?

N: That depends...(blushes noticeably, shuffling closer awkwardly) on .. what you are open too.

H: (Eyes the blush and then laughs, taking Near's chin in her hand and tilting his face up so she can see it) You're cute.

N: ( wrinkles his nose, backing away from the touch, blushing more) I am not "cute".

H: Not often. Only when you're clueless.

N: Excuse me? O.O I am NOT clueless.

H: Not often.

N: To use inductive reasoning, I have never been observed as being clueless, and thus, as a well accepted generalization, never am. Therefore, it is a valid statement for me to say that I am never clueless.

H: Oh? so you know what you're doing right now? You are... clue-full?

N: ... ... ... ... uh. N-... Not precisely. (Sits at Halle's feet, hugging one of his knees to his chest) I am attempting to ask you for assistance, Halle. I am swallowing my pride here... I find it difficult enough without you mocking me.

H: (leans forward and brushes a strand of hair from Nears face) So you want my help. I... I'm flattered, really...But Near...surelly..-surelly- you -aren't- suggesting...

N: I am. (manages not flinch from her hand)

H: (retracts hand, staring levelly at Near) So you want to fuck me.

N: O.O I would not use such crude terms. But essentially, yes. It seems to be a plausible solution for my problem.

H: And you can't just hire a prostitute for this?

N: (looks away) I don not -want- a prostitute.

H: You want me

N: Affirmative.

H: (pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking a drag) Rester won't be happy.

N: (stares in awe) You smoke? Why would Commander rester by unhappy?

H: (blows a smoke ring) Only when stressed, Near. And he has a bit of a thing for me. We've been on and off for a while now...

N: (coughs) This conversation is proving to cause you distress? I apologize... (blinks) You and Rester ... uh...?

H: (sighs a cloud of smoke, relaxing) No shit Sherlock, of course I'm stressed... Yes, Rester and I have slept together, but we aren't anything more than good friends Friends with certain ... benefits.

N: O.O Oh.. ... ... ... If you are not... how do you say... an "item" then I see no reason why I should have any conflict with Rester.

H: (inhales smoke deeply and exhales it through her nostrils, laughing with a bitter tone) You wouldn't, would you. See conflict in this...

N: Excuse me? (stands again, slightly offended)

H: You are adorable Near, but very cold. Sometimes I doubt you -have- emotions.

That's when I kissed her. Her eyes widened for a moment and then slid to be half closed, and she forced her tongue into my mouth. She tasted like cherry chapstick and smoke. I recoiled from the slimy intruder, literally falling backwards.

N: Halle! That was highly unsanitary!

H: (sucks on her cigarette and laughs) And sex isn't?

N: ... er... I am not adorable. (ignores question)

H: (crushes cigarette into a Kleenex and tosses it into a nearby wastebasket) I think you should prove..interesting in bed...definitely worth my while. You seem...so inexperienced... so...fresh.

N: I hope to be. Though i would prefer not to be called "fresh" in such a manner, it makes me feel objectified, like a piece of meat.

H: I'll keep that in mind. there aren't going to be any strings attached to this, are there? No "relationship" or anything, right? Just a roll in the hay, one night thing. I loathe strings.

N: Thank you. I would not have it any other way. Strings would be most undesirable. The fewer complications the better. The less personal feelings mixed up in all this the more success it should have. I chose you because I trust that you won't take advantage of me being in a compromising position. And because there is only so much the internet can teach me.

H: (chuckles and smiles oddly) The internet is -nothing- compared to me.

N: I beg to differ. The internet is supposedly a fairly good substitute for intercourse if utilized correctly. However, I am not one to abuse it thusly.

H: We'll see about that.

N: I suppose we will... will you stay after work tonight?

H: I..I suppose... though truth be told, I'd far rather take you home with me...

N: (gulps, blush gone as he thinks for a moment) ... I... am alright with that. You can take me to your domicile. If that is what you wish.

H: Are we done here?

N: (still very thoughtful) Y-Yes...I suppose we are...better call in Gevanni and Rester again... please Linder, I'm sure I don't need to say this, but I'd prefer if this stayed discreet...

H: Of course, Near.

And that's how -that- went... I would continue, but I must find Gevanni and inform him that we are dangerously low on chop sui. I would find Rester, but he's been avoiding me. I digress. Tomorrow, I shall write again. Good day to you.

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