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Heh, heh…don't kill me!
Hey! Be glad I'm updating at all! I could have just left this story…aw who am I kidding? If I start something, no matter how long I put it off I will finish it.
Anyway I was redoing my old Avatar fanfictions, going over my ideas for a Naruto fanfiction, checking deviantart, checking YouTube, checking facebook, doing homework, drawing, reading, eating, trying to get used to my new laptop yada, yada, yada…
And that is why I have not updated.
But now I am updating.
So please don't murder me.
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Listening to- Raise Your Glass by P!NK
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It was official. History of Magic sucked.
Rachael thought that Harry had always been exaggerating in the books when he said that Binns put people to sleep.
She was wrong. So very, very wrong.
Half the class were asleep, some were daydreaming, a few brave souls were actually managing to stay awake long enough to take down notes and some had just up and left.
Binns hadn't even noticed when Marlene McKinnon, Alice Prewett and Mary MacDonald had left.
Maybe people were telling the truth when they said he hadn't even realised he was dead at first. Rachael was certain that if she threw her bottle of ink at the boring ghost's head he wouldn't even notice.
'No! Bad thoughts! No attacking teachers…no matter how boring they are and no matter how entertaining it would be I cannot throw things at teachers!' Rachael thought.
She'd make up for it later by throwing things at Snape. Hmm, Dungbombs or just good old fashioned round house kicking? So many choices.
She didn't care if Snape was on the supposed Light Side, in her opinion he was still a git.
Oh sue her why don't you? So she wasn't a big fan of Snape, big whoop.
On the other hand she was a James fan and she was pissed off at Bloom.
Speaking of Little Miss Perfect she was sitting two rows in front of Rachael; in front of Sirius and behind Lily, neither of whom seemed very happy with the arrangement.
'Those poor suckers' Rachael thought, her eyes drooping. She was so tired!
Rachael looked at Tanya sitting next to her. She was wide awake, taking notes, and looking as though she thought Binns was the most amazing teacher ever. It was official- she was nuts.
Tanya saw that Rachael was close to sleep and decided to do something about it. She should not be sleeping! If you pretended that Binns was Robert Pattison/Cedric Diggory/Edward Cullen then it was fun!
"PERK UP SOLDIER!" Tanya yelled punching Rachael so hard she fell out of her seat.
It woke up all the sleeping students but Binns still didn't stop in his lecture. He hadn't noticed. Bloody. Buggering. Hell.
Bloom was frowning at Tanya.
"That was not very nice" she said, "Apologise."
Tanya was tempted to tell the Sue to shove it…or words to that effect, but then she remembered that they were pretending to be Mary Sues too. And Mary Sues did not get angry. Ever. Well except for Ebony/Enoby Dementia Darkness Raven Way but the less said about her the better.
"I am very sorry Rachael" Tanya said in a false, sincere voice (ironic sentence much?) "I have been having a bad day and I have been feeling…um, Out of Character."
"It's alright" said Rachael in the same voice. On the inside she wanted to slap her silly. That hurt!
Luckily Bloom seemed to be falling for it which was a miracle in itself as both girls had their eyes narrowed.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You both suck" he said once he was sure Bloom wasn't listening.
"Well I sure do!" Tanya said winking.
"Huh?"
Rachael patted him on the head. "Poor naïve little Siri" she said.
"And Rachael swallows!"
Believe it or not that had not come from Tanya.
Peter Pettigrew.
Right. Right. That little rat was dead meat!
Rachael picked up her History book intent on whacking Peter silly but just as she did the bell rang.
He got lucky this time, but one day she would get him, one day, when he least suspected it…
That rat would go SPLAT!
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Lunch Time
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Tanya, Rachael, the Marauders and others and Rachael's OCs were sitting under a tree near the Black Lake.
"I've had a thought" said Tanya.
"Tell us quick before it dies of loneliness" said Rachael.
"Hardy har, har, funny Rach" said Tanya dryly, "No I was thinking we should bring one of our friends here as extra help."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Meaning?"
"Because I miss my 'pillows'" Tanya whined.
Everyone except for Rachael, who understood what Tanya was talking about looked confused at that sentence.
Rachael sighed, rolled her eyes, reached into her bag and pulled out the Easy Button.
"You're so troublesome" she muttered.
"This is the Harry Potter universe not the Naruto universe!" Tanya snapped. "Stop talking like Shikamaru and press that button!"
Rachael rolled her eyes again and pressed the little red button.
There was a flash of white light and it disappeared to reveal a tall girl with curly brown hair, green eyes and two rather large 'pillows' on her chest.
It was Rachael and Tanya's, much more sensible than them, friend Jade Berry.
"WHAT DID YOU TWO IDIOTS DO?" she shrieked thumping them both on the head. "I WAS AT MY AUNT'S WEDDING!"
"Jadey-Baby!" Tanya cried jumping up. She promptly hugged the taller girl, burying her face in Jade's chest. "I missed you!"
"Is it normal for Tanya to plant her face in Jade's chest?" Lily asked Rachael. Rachael nodded.
"The first time it was an accident…I think…but now she does it just to annoy Jade and because apparently they're comfy. I don't plan on testing that theory" she said.
Jade was struggling to get out of Tanya's grasp.
"Seriously what did you do, why am I here and…are those Harry Potter characters?" she said with wide eyes.
"Yes, yes they are" said Rachael.
"You just sucked me into the Harry Potter universe."
"Yes, yes I did."
"Are you insane!"
"Most likely."
"Grr…"
"Good to see you too Cheshire" Rachael said grinning.
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Fifteen Minutes Later…
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They were all in the Gryffindor Common Room, yes even Agatha, and Jade had given up on trying to get Tanya to let go of her. 'No wonder people at school think we're lesbians' she thought annoyed.
"And that is why we brought you here" Rachael finished her lengthy explanation about why they brought Jade to Hogwarts.
"So you brought me here to defeat a Mary Sue?" Jade asked for clarification.
"Yes" Tanya said, her voice muffled by Jade's chest.
"And you say she's affecting James Potter?"
"Yup" Rachael nodded.
Jade thought it over for a moment, grinned a scary grin worthy of Voldemort and said; "Bring it on."
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A/N: People at school really do think they're lesbians because Tanya is always planting her face in Jade's boobs which, admittedly are large. Lucky cow. Anyway please review!