I dont own anything...so sad...so true.

I introduce: Chapter Four!

"It had been a long day and even though the case wasn't over yet Cragen had sent both Elliot and I home for the evening. I pulled my keys out and after a moment of fumbling I managed to pull the right key out and open the door. I hadn't noticed anything strange, like no scratch marks or other signs of forced entry, so I called out to Alex. As I stepped across the threshold that's when I saw Shield because he had Alex cuffed to a chair and a gun pressed to her temple. I started to reach for my gun but he told me that unless I wanted my girlfriend's brains all over the fridge I wouldn't do that. So I put my hands in the air and he walked and grabbed my arm, but the gun was still pointed at Alex.

He forced me out of the door and out of the apartment building except he went out the back so the doorman wouldn't see us. Out back was a white van with the back doors wide up. He told me to climb in so I did and he climbed in after me. There was a moment where the gun wasn't pointed at me as he climbed in so I lunged at him. I managed to land a few blows before he wacked me over the head with the gun. He threw me done and cuffed my hands to some loop on the floor and then" the voice on the tape recorder cracked and Casey paused it momentarily.

"Olivia was not pleased when I told her that you were going to have to hear this." Casey said her face grim.

"That's to be expected but she must have known I would have read it, I am her captain." Cragen said "How is she?"

Casey sighed "I would say I've seen worse but honestly this goes in the top two. You saw how battered she is but that's not the worst of it. It took me three hours to get her total statement and she jumps at everything. It's horrible to see her so…" she trailed off not sure what to say.

"Vulnerable." Cragen said, finishing her statement for her "That's one of the things about Olivia, she tries so hard to be one of the guys that as Elliot said, she thinks we are all judging her for not being able to escape from him."

"No one's judging her though." Casey said, confused.

"That's not the point. It doesn't matter that we all know that there was nothing she could do, not with Shields pointing a gun at Alex. What matters to her is that she has been working with mostly male cops for years and she has worked hard to get where she is, she thinks that this has destroyed all of that."

Casey nodded "Do you want to hear the rest of the tape?"

Cragen sighed "I'd really rather not but I think it's important I know what happened, at least part of the story. I'll ask Olivia to tell me later, much later."

Casey reached out and pressed the play button and Olivia's trembling voice filled the office "he was on top of me but he whispered in my ear and told me that if I did that again he'd kill my girlfriend. He said that he wanted to do it now but we needed to get away before the cops come. He climbed out from the back and went to the front and started driving. I tried to keep track of the lefts and the rights but we made so many." the voice was barely a whisper, both Cragen and Casey had to strain to hear what she was saying "We drove for ages, it seemed like hours, then we stopped and he opened the back doors. There was this twisted smile on his face and he pulled off his shirt and there was this tattoo across his chest, names. I asked him what they were and he said they were all the woman he owns. He said mine was next. Then he undid the belt and said he's wanted to do this for a long time. Then he pulled his pants down and….."the voice trailed off and Casey stopped it.

A swell of anger crossed Cragen's face and he made no attempt to hide it "What can we nail the bastard for?"

"I can bust him for both the previous rape and murder plus kidnapping and raping a police officer plus conspiracy to murder an ADA. However if you can get me evidence that links him to the names on his chest, or a confession, I can file for the death penalty." Casey said "Do you want to hear the rest of just read her written report?"

Cragen sighed and thought for a moment "Might as well get this over with."

Casey nodded and pressed the play button "he raped me. I tried to stop him but there was nothing I could do, he had a gun."

It sounded like Olivia was pleading with Casey not to think that she was weak, more evidence to back up Elliot's theory "He forced me to walk into the warehouse and he took me to the back room, the one behind the wall. He cuffed my hands above my head and did it again and again."

This time it was Cragen who paused the tape a look of disgust on his face and as he spoke Casey could hear the anger he was keeping under control "It really is amazing how far the depravity of a single human being can destroy so many lives."

"It's sad." Casey agreed "The only good thing is that Kevin Shields will pay for what he has done, that I can promise you." She said looking directly into the Capitan's eyes.

Cragen agreed "I wouldn't have any other DA on this case." He said and smiled solemnly.

Alex woke up feeling quite refreshed and all together much better than she had when she had collapsed on her bed four hours ago. She had arrived back at her apartment at around eleven thirty after making a few stops that included a new phone battery and a new set of landlines for the apartment. After making a hasty lunch, which consisted of a turkey sandwich and some ships, she meandered into her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. Now, after four hours of a dreamless sleep, Alex felt ready to go and talk to Olivia.

In fact Alex didn't care if Olivia wanted visitors or not because nothing that could happen or anything she could ever say would change how she felt about Olivia. Grabbing a water bottle and a couple case files she was currently working on, Alex headed out to the hospital. As she drove to the hospital she contemplated everything that had happened in the past five days. First, she had had a gun pointed at her head and then watched as her girlfriend was kidnapped by a serial rapist/murderer. She spent two days trying to help the police find her girlfriend, using just about every favor she had left but it didn't matter. She would have done anything to save Olivia, even if it meant going after Shields herself, no matter how foolish it was.

After another round with New York traffic Alex arrived at the hospital and when she arrived at the fifth floor she was again stopped by a nurse who told her that Olivia wasn't taking any visitors. Alex rolled her eyes and turned to face the nurse "I am…" she began, trying to find way into Olivia's room but realizing she had no legal way into her room "Look, I know why she doesn't want to let visitors in and I just need to see her" and after a pointed look form the nurse she added "and if she starts getting distressed then I will leave, I promise."

The nurse considered for a moment then nodded "It would do the detective some good to have some company." And with that she walked down the hall to check on her other patients.

Alex approached the door and wasn't surprised when she saw Olivia staring at her but she didn't care so she slid the sliding door open and walked inside. To her surprise Olivia didn't say anything instead she just watched as Alex walked in with that familiar 'I've-made-up-my-mind-and-you-can-not-stop-me-whatever-you-do' look that had won her so many cases and sat down in a chair next to Olivia's bed.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked causally

Olivia ignored her.

"Fine." Alex said and pulled out a case file along with a sheaf of papers that were her case notes. She studied them seriously and was soon absorbed in her case as she tried to find out how to win.

Olivia however was not so easily absorbed in her own book and she couldn't figure out why Alex was here. She had already left her once and now she was back and there was nothing Olivia could do about it. Except she didn't mind it. Unlike when she had been kidnapped and had absolutely no choice in what was going on but this was different. She was completely aware that if Alex thought Olivia didn't really want her there than she would leave.

"You left." Olivia said quietly and Alex looked up but didn't speak "I woke up alone." She said even quieter.

Alex nodded.

"Say something." Olivia snapped.

"What do you want me to say? I left because I had to shower and change, not because I was ashamed of what happened. If you hadn't gone with him he would have shot me and kidnapped you anyway, you saved my life, how can I be ashamed of that?"

Olivia pondered this "I should have fought back."

"You have stab wounds on both of your forearms from where he punished you when you fought back and under your nails the ER nurse took a crap load of skin cells that didn't belong to you. As far as defensive wounds go I think you make the top ten list."

A small smile flickered across Olivia's face but it soon vanished as "I couldn't stop him. I tried, I really did but he had a gun and a knife and my hands were cuffed above my head." Suddenly tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them "Everyone's go to think I'm so weak." She said so quietly Alex almost didn't hear it but she did.

Alex wanted to stand up and crawl into the bed with Olivia and hold her but she knew that what Olivia need is space so instead she shook her head "Olivia Benson. No one thinks you are weak, in fact everyone is simple glad you are alive."

Olivia shook her head in denial "I allowed a suspect to kidnap from my own home, I should have seen it coming."

Alex couldn't help but snort "Everyone should have seen it coming, Wong has drunk himself into a stupor because he blames himself. Elliot didn't sleep until he found you, not to mention Cragen had every available NYPD body under his command. Munch and Fin hunted down every lead they found including some that a four year old could tell you were wrong."

"Why aren't you embarrassed?"

Alex looked dumbfounded "Olivia, what is there to be embarrassed about?" She decided that the only way Olivia would understand is to talk her through it, like a court case.

Anger rose through Olivia "What don't you get? I was kidnapped and raped by a psychopath and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Even when I fought back I was too weak."

"Why do you think I should be embarrassed?"

"I couldn't fight back. Anyone else on the squad could have taken him down in a second but I was too weak."

Alex shook her head "If Shields had put a gun to Kathy's head what would Elliot have done? Or Ken, what would Fin have done? No one is embarrassed that you didn't escape because there are all the signs that you tried hard a hell."

Olivia shook her head as the tears rose to her eyes "I should have-" she trialed off

"Please, Olivia listen to me." Alex started but Olivia interrupted her

"I feel dirty all the time. Every time someone knocks on the door or speaks to loud I jump a mile or when the doctor dropped the stethoscope on the floor I punched him in the gut. Tell me I can't be embarrassed about that?"

Alex thought about to say what she was thinking for a moment then spoke "You can feel however you want but don't feel like you have to get through it alone."

Olivia turned and looked at her girlfriend, how had she gotten so lucky? Even after all of what had happened, when most people would have up and left her by now she remained stubbornly by her side, refusing to let her go through this alone.

"Olivia, I want to be there for you, please don't push me away."

Olivia nodded "As long as you know what you're getting into."

Alex laughed "I've been dealing with SVU cases for while now, I know exactly what I'm getting into and I don't care."

Okay so listen up people..I got a grand total of three reviews the last chapter and while I loved all of them I would love even more. This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic and I really really would appreciate anything you have to tell me. I don't want to beg but if I have to I will because I really want to explore the relationship Alex and Olivia have with a slight focus on Alex. So, now that I am done giving my little speech please review!

AllOverTheWorld