It Takes Two – part four
Pairings: Remus/Harry, Ron/Hermione
Rated: R
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters
.-.
The house-elves gathered around them when they entered the kitchens. Harry smiled at the sight before taking a cup of tea and a scone from the trays. Remus took a cup of tea as well, and then sat at the only table in the room. House-elves began piling the table with plates of food in front of them. Harry polished off his scone quickly before diving into his steak and potatoes. Remus joined him, his stomach finally letting him know that he was hungry.
"I love Hogwarts," Harry said, food puffing out one of his cheeks.
"No doubts here," smiled Remus. He blew on the surface of his tea before taking a careful sip, and he nearly spit out his tea in laughter when he noticed how fast Harry was eating. He must have been hungry!
"Harry Potter!" came a happy, shrilling voice. Harry grunted from the force of a house-elf latching itself to his leg. "I is so happy to see you, sir!"
"Dobby!" Harry choked. His eyes were watering from almost choking to death on his food, but he pounded it down his esophagus. Dobby the house-elf leaped back, looking frightened.
"Dobby is sorry, Harry Potter, sir…" frowned Dobby, bowing his head. "Dobby didn't mean to make Harry Potter choke. Dobby will go slam his hands into the oven door…"
Harry seized Dobby immediately. "No, Dobby, that's ok. Don't hurt yourself. You just startled me. How are you?"
"Dobby is fine, sir," said Dobby, smiling brightly again. Remus held no doubt in his mind that Dobby would give Harry the world if he could. It was rather endearing to watch. "But how is Harry Potter?"
"I'm fine, Dobby," Harry said, putting on a cheery smile. Remus knew that Harry just didn't want the house-elf to worry about him. But it did seem that Harry was feeling better after that nap and having some food.
"Would Harry Potter and his friend like anything else?" Dobby asked politely. "Dessert?"
"Not now, Dobby, but thanks for the offer," said Harry softly. "Oh, this is Remus Lupin. I'm sure you remember him. He was here as a teacher during my third year."
"Dobby vaguely remembers Harry Potter's third year at Hogwarts," said Dobby apologetically. "It was during a time when Dobby was on the move looking for work."
"Oh, yeah," said Harry. "That's right. Well, Remus and I are both teachers now. I'm the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Remus is my helper. We share the responsibility of teaching students how to defend themselves."
"That is great, Harry Potter, sir!" Dobby clapped. "Is Dobby allowed to visit Harry Potter in his room or office?"
"Yes, you're welcome to visit… unless I'm doing something private, then you can't."
Remus noticed that Harry blushed softly when he said this, and Remus had an idea of just what Harry was talking about. He didn't blame Harry.
"Oh, of course, sir," said Dobby, bowing low. "Dobby wouldn't dream of disturbing Harry Potter if Harry Potter did not wish to be. Dobby understands."
"Good," said Harry. Slowly, Harry went back to eating, but this time it wasn't as ravenous as last time, and Dobby went back to serving.
Once they finished dessert (Harry did decide on some pie), they slowly made their way back to their rooms. Dobby was falling over himself as he was saying goodbye to Harry, bowing and thanking Harry for allowing him to visit Harry during certain times. Remus held in a laugh, mostly from the embarrassed look on Harry's face. Harry must still not be used to Dobby's devotion to him.
"Feeling better now?" Remus asked Harry.
"Oh, much," said Harry, rubbing his belly and looking content. "I can't wait to get to my room and relax."
"I'm guessing you won't be grading the first years papers until later?"
"Oh," said Harry, face falling. "I forgot about that…"
"It's ok, Harry. You won't see the students for a few days yet. Tomorrow will be the older students. If you like, I could do most of the teaching so that you won't be so worn out this time."
Harry smiled. "Yeah, maybe that's for the best. Besides, I like your idea of sharing students. I don't mind taking the younger years."
"I had a feeling you'd say that," grinned Remus. "Ok, you just relax for the rest of the night, then. I'll get things prepared for tomorrow."
"Are you sure you'll be all right by yourself with it?"
"Perfectly . . . . Remember, I was a professor here once. I know what I'm doing."
"Thanks, Remus," said Harry softly, and then, startling him, Harry turned and wrapped his arms around him.
Remus stood there, flabbergasted and red faced. He had no idea how to react to this. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling – no, not one bit. In fact, Remus's body really liked the feeling. Harry was warm and comforting against him. He couldn't help bringing his arms up and returning the hug. When he did, Harry buried himself further into him, causing Remus's cheeks to grow hotter.
"You're so good to me," Harry sighed against Remus's neck.
Remus looked at the ceiling, his pulse beating so hard he thought he was going to pass out. A part of him didn't want the hug to end, but another part of him knew that if he didn't release Harry, Harry would feel what he was doing to him.
Gently, Remus pulled Harry away. Harry looked confused and a little hurt, as if he were about to be told off for hugging him. Remus smiled to reassure him. It worked; Harry looked relieved and smiled back.
"You're good to me, Harry," he said. "I'm grateful to you."
Harry blushed. It was very becoming. Remus couldn't help raising a hand up and stroking that heated cheek. Harry inhaled sharply at the touch.
"I—I couldn't do it without you—" Harry panted. His eyes were glazing over.
Was Remus seeing things, or was Harry…? No, it was impossible.
A sudden crash startled them, and they both whipped out their wands and aimed them toward the source of the noise.
"Wait, it's me!" said James Savage, hands up in surrender. "Don't hurt me."
"Savage?" said Harry, lowering his wand.
"James?" said Remus.
"You're both right," Savage grinned.
"Very funny, young man," said Remus. "What are you doing out of bed after hours?" he demanded.
Savage sighed dramatically, shuffling a foot on the stone floor. "I was hungry, so I thought I'd try finding the kitchens for something to eat."
"Didn't you get enough at dinner?" asked Harry.
Savage—James—shook his head sadly. "You see, growing up I haven't been allowed to eat much, so…"
Harry's face fell. Remus had a feeling he knew what Harry was thinking. Harry had been treated that way at the Dursleys' and there were probably times when Harry didn't know when he'd be eating next.
"Don't your parents feed you?" Remus asked.
James looked worse, and it made Remus wish he hadn't asked that question.
"I'm an orphan, sir," said James Savage quietly.
"An orphan…" said Harry softly, eyes welling up. Remus knew what he was about to do wasn't right, but he knew that he wouldn't hear the end of it if he didn't.
"All right," he said gently. "We'll take you to the kitchens for some food. But you must promise us that once you're done eating you'll go straight to bed."
Savage's face lit up. "Oh, I promise! Thank you, Professor Lupin!" He turned to Harry. "Is that all right with you, Professor Potter?"
Choked up, Harry nodded. Ecstatic, James whooped with joy.
"Ickle firsty out of bed!" crackled a sudden voice.
"Go away, Peeves!" shouted Harry. "He's with us."
Peeves blew Harry a raspberry and then disappeared from sight. Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.
They led James to the portrait that was the entrance to the kitchens. Harry tickled the pear and it turned into a handle. James was in awe as he watched. Harry seized the handle, but then stopped suddenly.
"What's the matter?" Remus asked.
Harry turned, letting go of the handle, and looked at James.
"Would you like to open it?" he asked the first year.
James beamed, nodding his head enthusiastically. He grasped the handle and yanked the door open. The three of them climbed inside. The house-elves were very surprised to see Harry and Remus back so soon, but when they noticed James, they huddled around him with trays filled with food. Glowing, James took as much food as he could carry to the table that Harry and Remus had just occupied not too long ago.
"Thank you so much, Professors!" James beamed brightly, and then proceeded to stuff his face.
"Slow down there, or you'll choke," said Harry. Remus wasn't sure if he was surprised or not when he saw Harry sit next to James and began rubbing the boy's back. James nodded, swallowing the food he had in his mouth. Then he proceeded to eat his food a little slower.
Watching them together, Remus had a feeling James was about to become a part of their lives. He wasn't so sure about Harry staying in his life, but the look Harry had given him earlier made him wonder if Harry had feelings for him, like he did for Harry.
He didn't like admitting it, but he really did love Harry. It wasn't just the kind of love one had for a friend's son, or someone that was like a brother to him—the feelings he'd been having lately were leaning more on the attraction side. Harry Potter was definitely handsome; he'd admitted as such, to both himself and Harry, and Harry was everything he'd ever wanted in a significant other. He was brave, kind, polite, selfless, fierce, loyal, strong, humble, sweet, sexy…
Remus shut his eyes in some shock. Did he just think Harry as sexy? He opened his eyes again and stared at the young man before him. Yes. Harry James Potter was indeed very sexy. Although Harry seemed a little skinnier than usual nowadays, it didn't matter to him. Remus knew what it was from, and he knew that once Harry was completely back to normal (if there was a chance of him ever being that way again), he'd look like his old self again.
When James lifted his fork with a piece of his apple strudel up to Harry's mouth as an offering, and Harry gladly accepted it, opening his mouth and taking the bite, Remus felt his heart leap into his throat.
He must have made a noise too, because Harry turned his head and looked worryingly at him. "All right, Remus?"
Remus cleared his throat. "Er, yes, I'm fine. Don't overdo it, Harry. You were going to relax for the rest of the night, remember?"
"I'll be fine, Remus," smiled Harry. "Don't worry about me."
He knew he wouldn't win. "Ok, but take it easy when you take Mr. Savage back to bed, and when you come back."
Harry nodded. "I know, I know." He smiled when James tried offering him another piece of strudel, but shook his head. "No, I'm full. Remus and I were just in here eating. You go ahead and eat the rest of that."
James shrugged. "All right," and then began doing just that.
You're too nice sometimes, Harry Potter, Remus thought. He left the kitchens and headed for his sleeping quarters. He'd be sleeping well tonight.
.-.
Next morning when Remus woke up, he was extremely worried for Harry. He hoped that Harry got to his room all right. Quickly putting on a bathrobe, Remus exited his quarters and immediately went across the hall where Harry's room was. The Indian lady in the portrait was sitting in the usual Indian style on the grass, hands on her knees. She stared at Remus with calm, dark brown eyes.
"Quidditch maneuvers," he said. The Indian lady nodded sagely, lifted a hand palm-side up, and the portrait swung open. Remus entered straightaway, mind coming up with all sort of horrible scenarios that could have happened to Harry if he found his bed empty.
Harry's bed wasn't empty. There was actually an extra person in bed with Harry. Stunned, Remus stared. Lying beside Harry, under the bed sheets, was little James Savage. He was curled up in a fetal position against Harry's stomach, head on one of Harry's arms. Harry had a cheek on the top of Savage's head, breath stirring dark strands of Savage's hair, one arm around Savage's body.
'They look like a family,' Remus couldn't help thinking. Was it really coincidence that this little first year, which looked oddly like Harry in so many ways, took a liking to Harry? Was it a coincidence that James Savage was an orphan and had been treated the same way at his orphanage Harry had been at his aunt and uncle's? And was it coincidence they looked perfect together?
Maybe this was what Harry needed more than anything—someone that needed him—not a lover. Maybe Harry won't need him anymore like he used to. Perhaps this little first year—this cute, perfect little James—was all Harry could ever want.
Unable to bring himself to wake them up, Remus slipped out of the room and tripped back into his. Numbly, Remus got dressed and ready for the first class of the day. Harry didn't need to teach today. Harry deserved the day off. He could do it for him. It was no problem.
What of James Savage, his mind asked. Harry will be responsible for him, Remus answered himself. Harry was a teacher after all.
Harry shared a bed with a first year, his mind screamed. Wasn't that… wrong?
They were only sleeping, Remus told himself. Of course Harry wouldn't do anything with a first year. That was ludicrous!
Remus nearly slapped himself. You're being a jealous prat, Lupin, he told himself. Get a hold of yourself! James Savage needed to be loved like every other human being. James was lucky to have someone like Harry in his life now. Remus will be happy for them and wish them all the luck in the world. Hell, Harry might even end up adopting the brave little cub. Yeah, Harry would do something like that just so James could live a more normal life. Harry wouldn't want James to suffer at the orphanage anymore.
He slumped into the classroom, prepared to teach the second year Gryffindors. He'll just engross himself into his work and not worry about Harry and James Savage. Remus set the teacher's edition, second year down on the desk, opened his briefcase, and prepared himself for the students.
Once all the second year Gryffindors were seated, Remus stared at the door to see if Harry would come. He hadn't woken him up, so of course he wasn't coming. He was probably busy bringing James to his first class, if he was awake. Remus adjusted the papers in front of him and then took out the attendance sheet. He started the roll call.
Just as he finished calling the students' names, the door banged open and in strode Harry. Remus's stomach tied itself in a knot.
"Why didn't you wake me?" Harry demanded, looking riled, wand in hand.
Remus didn't know how to answer at first, but then decided on telling the truth. Well, most of it.
"You needed the rest. I decided to teach the classes for today. It's no worry."
Harry was staring at him—straight through him, as though he knew that Remus was lying. Harry walked around to the other side of the desk and stared him straight in the eyes. Remus tried not to falter.
"I'M the Professor here," Harry said austerely. "You're the assistant. We didn't agree on you taking over my job for today."
"What about Mr. Savage?" Remus couldn't help asking. "Did he make it on time?"
"I hope so," said Harry grimly. "I didn't have time to make sure, but I did write him a note so he'll be excused if he is late. Remus, what is wrong with you? Why didn't you wake us?"
Remus thought wildly, unsure how to answer that, but then one of the students raised her hand and asked, "Professors? Are we… starting?"
Both Harry and Remus looked up at the students guiltily. Remus was the first to move to the front of the class, wanting to get away from Harry's hurt-filled gaze.
"Yes, I apologize for that. This is Professor Potter. He is your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher…"
"I can introduce myself!" Harry snarled from behind. Remus closed his eyes, too afraid to look at Harry.
"…And I'm the assistant."
"Aren't you happy with your arrangement?" another student asked.
"I'm fine with the arrangement," Remus said. "Why do you ask?"
"Because you're fighting."
"It's none of your business," said Remus irritably. "Just concentrate on your schoolwork, not your teachers' personal lives."
The student sighed and sunk back into his seat. Harry finally took the front, and Remus noticed, with remorse, that Harry was shaking so bad that he had to lean against the desk in order to kept himself upright.
"Yes, I'm your teacher, and hopefully I'll be your teacher for many years to come. I believe in the practical approach when it comes to teaching Defense…"
Remus stepped back and let Harry do his usual introduction and instructions. After Harry assigned the homework for them do to, he carefully made it back to his chair behind the desk. Remus wanted to apologize, but he couldn't make his mouth move. Harry laid his head on the desk, and Remus could just make out Harry's body shivering slightly.
Unable to contain himself any longer, Remus stepped up beside Harry and gently rubbed Harry's back. Harry jerked in surprise and looked up. His eyes no longer looked annoyed or angry; they were filled with pain. Remus's heart sank into the pit of his stomach.
"Harry," whispered Remus, still gently stroking his back. "I'm so sorry… I'll explain everything to you when we're alone tonight."
Harry stared at him, and Remus waited for his verdict. When Harry nodded in understanding, Remus felt as if he could breathe again.
"Awww…" chorused some of the students.
Harry and Remus blushed deeply.
"Get back to work," Harry snapped. Looking guilty, they obeyed.
.-.
Remus had to help Harry back to his room, but once they were finally there, they sat down on Harry's bed. Harry took out his wand, spell-locked the door, and then pointed it at Remus in warning.
"All right, talk," he demanded.
Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could form any words.
"I saw you in bed with James Savage," he said, accidentally sounding accusing.
"So?" Harry said, staring Remus straight in the eye. "What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing, of course," said Remus defensively. "Just that I'm not sure why he was in bed with you…"
"Because I…" Harry turned his head, looking ashamed. "I couldn't make it back to my room by myself."
"Oh, Harry," said Remus, feeling even more horrible. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think you… I thought you'd have enough energy…"
Harry waved a hand at him. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't angry with you for leaving me there with James. You know that I don't like it when I'm dependent on others. Anyway, James didn't mind helping me back to my room, but then by the time we got there and he helped me into my pajamas, I was too wea—tired to write him a pass back to his dormitory so that he wouldn't get into trouble if he ran into Filch or another teacher, so I told him he could stay with me for the night. I thought you'd wake us up, like you did last time, so that we wouldn't be late, but…"
Remus felt even more terrible. "Harry, I really am very sorry… I swear I'll make it up to you…"
"So why didn't you wake us?"
Remus looked away again. "Well, um… because when I saw you together it was such a hard blow…"
Harry's brow rose. "A hard blow? What do you mean?"
"Oh, Merlin's beard…" Remus moaned sorrowfully. "I honestly don't know how to explain it to you without telling you… other things."
Harry blinked, looking confused and oh so damn adorable. Remus wanted to just lean forward and take Harry's mouth with his, but he was too afraid of Harry's reaction.
"Other things?" Harry finally voiced. "What other things? Remus, what are you keeping from me?"
Aggravated, Remus stood. "It's nothing you need to worry about, Harry. Just know that I was being an idiot about it all, and that I'll make it up to you…"
"An idiot about what?" Harry said, growing irritated. "Honestly, will you please tell me what's going on?"
"I can't…" Remus grumbled, staring at the floor.
"Why not?" Harry said, sounding rejected.
"Because… because…" Remus floundered. Staring into Harry's doleful eyes, he felt his resolve cave. He could hold back no longer. "Because, Harry, I was jealous."
Harry opened his mouth to respond, but then kept it open in mute befuddlement.
Remus turned his head away. "It—it isn't what you think…"
"It's not?" said Harry softly. He almost sounded disappointed.
"I know that you don't like having to depend on anyone, but you don't seem to mind having someone else depend on YOU. The way you were with little James yesterday and last night… it was like you were giving him a second home instead of the orphanage he belongs to. It's like he is all you need now. You don't need me any longer. So, I left. You needed the rest anyway…"
Harry stood abruptly and took a firm hold of Remus's shoulders and shook him gently. "You stupid—you idiotic old wolf! Of course I need you! I'm glad to know that you know that I don't like being dependent on others, but you know as well as I do that I depend on you now, more than ever! I can't do any of this alone. Ron and Hermione are over at the States on their honeymoon, and all my other friends are doing their own studies to become what they want—I have no one else to turn to right now."
"Harry…"
Harry laid his head onto Remus's chest, gripping Remus's shirt tightly in his fists. "Don't you ever think that I don't need you again! Understand? I DO need you… I DO."
Remus held him close, burying his face into Harry's hair. Harry needed him – he could hardly dare believe it! After relaxing a bit, he finally noticed that Harry was shaking. Remus rubbed at Harry's back, shoulders, and arms as he tried to get him to calm down.
"What of little James?" Remus said quietly. "Doesn't he need you?"
Harry smiled into his chest. "I really like James. Interesting that he's got the same name as my father. I'd thought about naming my son that, if I ever had one."
Remus stiffened. "Oh. I see."
Harry removed himself from Remus's chest, but not his arms. He looked at him.
"Remus, I won't be going back to Ginny. It's just—it doesn't feel right to me now, for some reason. I'm not sure what it is, but…" Harry looked away.
"What is it?" Remus asked gently, placing a finger under Harry's chin to raise his head. "Please tell me, Harry."
Harry blushed, but he didn't look away. "Remus—were you jealous only because you thought I no longer wanted you, or was it because of something more?"
Remus's mouth parted, as if he were about to speak, but then closed it again and swallowed hard. How could he tell Harry just how he felt without Harry becoming distant to him? Yet, the way Harry wasn't shrinking from his touch, and the way Harry was looking at him now, he knew, somehow, that Harry won't hate him.
He shook his head softly. "Harry… I've been meaning to tell you before, but I didn't have the courage to because I was afraid you'd hate me or be disgusted with me . . . but I will tell you now." Remus took a deep breath, and Harry stared at him, hopefully, as he waited for Remus's answer. "Harry, I . . . I do. Love you, that is. I—I love you. I don't know when it began, but I only know that I do."
Many emotions played across Harry's face, one of which Remus was sure was a good one. When Harry didn't speak for a long while, Remus grew worried. But before he could say anything, Harry laid his head down onto his chest again and was shaking severely.
"Harry? Oh my god, what have I done?" Remus wailed, rubbing at Harry's shoulders and back as soothing as he could. "Harry, please don't be upset, please… I didn't mean to upset you. Come on… come have a lie down."
Remus steered Harry to the bed and helped him get into it. He was at a loss of what to do for Harry, because Harry was curled up and hugging a pillow tightly, quaking like mad. The only thing he could think of was to crawl under the covers with him and hold him. So, that was what he did.
Harry snuggled into Remus's arms, still shaking. Remus massaged Harry's body as best he could with one hand while the other stayed around Harry, holding him close. They stayed like that for a long time. Remus didn't know what time it was, but finally Harry moved, causing Remus to move as well. Harry straightened out a bit and looked up into Remus's face.
"Harry?" Remus asked gently. "Are you ok?"
Harry smiled, and it filled Remus with relief.
"I'm more than OK…" Harry said hoarsely. "I'm the best I've ever felt in a long time."
TBC
A/N: James Savage, Lauren Danger, and William Bentley are not kids of any of the trio. Ron and Hermione haven't been married that long yet! Miss Danger is a muggleborn.