Heeeeeeeey!
That's right, I finally updated!
School was being evil like usual and tests have begun so I didn't really have any time to do any writing. I also working on a few other stories that I may or may not upload soon. Anyway, onto the acknowledgements!
balabalanceh: To be honest, I don't know why bullies do what they do. Sadly, stuff like what Draco is going through happens to a lot of other kids (minus the magic of course!). I guess this fic is also like and awareness raising fic. Don't bully people! You never know how it may impact them or what they're struggling through. Thanks for the review by the way!
FriendlyFinnick: Thank you very much! When I get reviews like yours, I always want to do some more writing! I'm glad you like my story!
shovelgirlERB000: Of course I will update, I'm doing it right now! Thanks for your support and wonderfull reviews! You always put a smile on my face!
So, now that's over, let's get onto the disclaimer and then the story.
DISCLAIMER: None of this belongs to me. I wish it did, but seeing as this is real life, I doubt that my wish s going to come true anytime soon!
I manage to get far enough away from the great hall so that no one will find me before I break down. Flashes of Nagini and her victims race in front of my eyes and they terrify me.
Before I know it, I'm seeing what I did to people, how I killed and tortured them, how I made them scream. My sobs get louder and louder and my body shakes more and more.
Why did I ever submit to that monster? Why did I let my father control me? Why couldn't I be strong enough to break free?
I'm startled when I see someone in the corner of my eye and instantly go silent, trying to move away. The wall behind me prevents me getting far and I hang my head in defeat, knowing I deserve whatever this person was going to do to me anyway.
"I'm not going to hurt you" the person says gently, compassion and kindness filling their voice.
"You're lying" I whisper. No one wants to be nice to me. No one.
"I would never lie about hurting anyone"
Who is this person?
"Well if you're not going to hurt me then you can go away. I don't need or deserve any of your 'kindness'." I say. As much as it hurts to push this person away, I know that I really don't deserve any kindness. Not after what I did to all those people.
"No one deserves to be beaten up and bullied, no matter what they may or may not deserve. And I for one know that you do not deserve any of what is being done to you."
"How could you know what I do or don't deserve" I say harshly "You didn't see all the people I hurt, all the people I made scream. You didn't see all the muggles I killed, how I kissed his robe, how I knelt at his feet. You didn't see how I was too weak to breakaway, too weak to fight back. You didn't see how easy it was to make me do all those horrible things. You didn't see all of the people whose deaths are my fault." I break off into another sob.
"No. All I saw was an unwilling boy who was being tossed around, with no one to guide him in life or tell him what to do. The only people who were 'looking out' for him were the people from the wrong side. And even they didn't do their jobs. All the people that ever helped were killed so that he would become the cold uncaring figure that he was supposed to be. But he never wanted any of that. He wanted to be free, to be liked, to be able to fight against those he'd been brought up with, but he never got the chance because no one would give it to him. But now I'm changing that. I'm going to give him the chance that he deserves."
"I don't deserve a chance"
"And yet you're getting one. So please, look at me."
I sigh and give in. It's obvious that this person won't be giving up anytime soon.
I look up and the first thing I see is black hair and green eyes. I wince. Of course it would be Potter. Just another thing I have to make up to him I guess.
"You seriously have a problem with that hero-complex of yours" I mutter and am surprised by his laughter.
"I guess you're right," he says, "I'm always saving someone aren't I?"
"You should leave Potter" I begin "It wouldn't do for anyone to see you being kind to me. It's easier if we both just pretend this never happened."
"No" He says firmly. "That is not happening. There is no way I'm letting you be subjected to that again. My only regret is not doing this earlier."
"Why?" I whisper.
"Because I understand. I understand your guilt and pain. I know what it's like to be forced into things only to be hated because of them. I understand what it's like to feel you deserve something that you don't. I can and will help you, no matter the cost"
I take a deep breath.
"Well then I guess I have to apologise for all of the things I've done to you in the past. I'm sorry for all the pain that you felt because of me."
"You are forgiven, in fact, you already were."
"I suppose you were the one who helped keep me out of Azkaban, along with the Headmistress?"
"Ever the Slytherin aren't you?"
"Hah! I wish. I was never meant to be a Slytherin."
Potter raises his eyebrow.
"How so?"
I sigh. I always knew this would happen.
"Lucius brought me with him when we went to Hogwarts early. He had gone to arrange a private room for me. Of course he knew Dumbledore wouldn't be easy to persuade so he decided to have a meeting with him. He brought me along so that I wold get a little 'head start'. I waited in Dumbledore's office while Lucius and Dumbledore went to a private room to 'discuss' the issue."
"While I was waiting the sorting hat spoke to me. He could tell that I was not a Slytherin just by looking at me so he wanted to discuss it with me. He somehow knew that it would be an issue, as did I. He told me to put him on my head, so I did. I found out that I was supposed to be a Gryffindor, for my bravery and courage to keep on going and even defy Lucius when I really didn't agree with him."
"We spent a few moments discussing the issue and decided that he would call Slytherin as fast as possible when he felt my thoughts, that way no suspicion would arise about my true house. I thanked him and placed him back on the shelf. When the sorting came around, he kept his word and no one suspected a thing. Until last year."
"What was so bad about Lucius?" Potter asks.
I close my eyes and begin to physically shake. No. I can't do this. I can't talk about him. The pain is too great.
"I-I can't… no, no, NO!" I cry as the memories begin to flood over me.
Blood, pain, fear. All three things very prominent where Lucius is concerned.
*"You will do what I tell you boy, or you will regret it!"
"No! I don't want to insult her! She's the smartest witch of our age and deserves praise, not insults just because she was born different to me!"
Lucius growls and backhands me to the floor. My breath leaves my lungs in a great whoosh as my body comes into contact with the concrete floor.
"Insult her or face the consequences." He threatens.
"N-no…"
He points his wand at me and screams "Crucio!"
I scream and writhe on the floor. All I can think about is the agony and pain of the curse.*
The memory changes and I find myself once again at Lucius's mercy.
*Blood runs down my back as I scream I agony, the whip hurling into my back again and again, never seeming to stop. I can't even manage to get out a please through my screams and sobs.
"You will not defy me! You will get the dark mark and fulfil the Dark Lord's wishes. You will be the perfect Malfoy and look down on everyone that is not in Slytherin and not a pureblood, do you understand me?!"
"Y-y-yes fa-th-ther" I manage to brokenly whisper.
I'm ashamed of how easily I give in, how weak I am. So weak that I can't even stand up to my own father. I wish that I could just die and rid the world of me and the horror I bring.*
I'm about to plunge into yet another memory when I feel a tug on my mind and manage to surface into reality.
I find myself curled up in a ball, sobbing myself sick. I take a moment to empty my stomach and then I manage to compose myself somewhat.
I'm surprised to feel arms around me, comforting me, protecting me. I look up to see Potter's eyes full of concern and know that he saw the whole thing.
"I'm sorry for bringing that up" he whispers
"It doesn't matter; I deserved every bit of that anyway."
"No one deserves that Draco, no one!"
I look up to him again, not even masking my shock. He called me Draco…
"I'm taking you with me to the Headmistress, we have some issues to sort out" he says.
"No! I'm fine! I don't need any help! Leave me alone!" I cry out and try to shove him away. But as I said before, my small size proves unhelpful and he simply pins me to the wall.
I can't help the few tears that leak out of my eyes and I mentally spit at myself in self-disgust. What a loathsome weak thing I am!
"Draco" Potter begins, "What's wrong? Why don't you want to see the Headmistress?"
"Because it's my fault she even has to take that role. It's my fault all this stress has fallen onto her shoulders. If it weren't for me, Dumbledore would still be Headmaster. But none of that seems to affect her! I'm just waiting for the moment when she shows how she truly feels. When she shows the hatred that everyone else has and releases her justified anger!"
"She won't do any of those things! She understands how tough it is and even if she did hate you, which she doesn't, she has an obligation to look after all of the students in Hogwarts! She won't hurt you! She will support you in everything you do and will help to guide you in the right direction. Trust me Draco, I won't let anyone hurt you and get away with it if I can help it!" Potter pleads and for some reason, I believe him.
"Fine," I whisper "I'll come"
"Thankyou"
Potter then releases me from the wall and gives me a moment to clean myself up a little. He then heads towards the Headmistress's office, keeping an eye on me the whole time so that I don't run away.
As we get closer and closer to our destination, my fear grows.
How will she react? Is Potter lying? Does she actually care about me and not hate me?
We reach the stone gargoyle and it opens the moment it sees Potter. Following the staircase, he knocks on the door.
"Enter"
So how was that? Did you like it? Please review and keep me writing! I love all you guys so much!
Cya later!
JuliaPossum