Chapter 4

Castiel

Lucia and I crouched in darkness, waiting for the witches to pass us by. They had been following us for hours and we were no closer to finding our way out of Sabina's subconscious. So far, we had managed to avoid any interaction that would have been detrimental to our safety, but I was at an absolute loss as to what to do in order to get home, back to our vessels. It seemed that we were locked here.

Pausing to look up at me, Lucia pushed her long, blonde hair out of her face and suddenly, it occurred to me how much Grace resembled the angel in front of me and I had never wanted to protect another angel as much as I wanted to protect the Seraph. Momentarily, I wondered if this is what it meant to be in love with another creature.

"Castiel," Lucia whispered. "We do not have time to be thinking along those lines at this moment in time." She pushed me forward, hoping to get me running again, but I hesitated. "We have not seen each other in months. What makes you think this way right now? It hardly seems the appropriate time."

I paused and listened to the wilderness of Sabina's mind for many moments before deciding to answer. When I had decided that we were as safe as we could be for the time, I turned towards the Seraph standing next to me.

"Grace and I have had many," I paused and tilted my head, realizing just how much we had discussed our relationship, "many, many discussions about our relationship with each other and what it means to love and be in love with someone else."

Lucia tilted her head, seemingly confused. "We are celestial beings, Castiel. We cannot experience romantic love, not in the way you are describing."

"We can," I argued, but immediately ducked and pulled Lucia down with me when I heard the crack of a twig off to my left. I held Lucia's hand, reassuring her or myself, I didn't know. We sat, waiting silently in the darkness for the danger to pass. I could hear the witches whispering to each other, still looking for us in the woods.

"Have you any idea what she will do to us if we do not find the angels or worse, they somehow break the spell and escape?" a voice whispered to her companion. "There will be no spell to save us from her wrath."

"We will find them, Sasha," the other voice answered, still keeping her voice lowered. "We will find them and kill them, just as she wishes us to."

"How can you be so confident?" Sasha asked, cracking another twig as she walked through the forest. She was clumsily giving away her position and I couldn't help but wonder if it was a trap.

Lucia turned and nodded at my thought, pointing behind us, away from the witches' voices. I agreed, feeling that somehow, they were throwing their voices; tricking us into thinking they were in front of us. As the voices continued to stay ahead, almost moving forward, I decided to throw caution into the wind and follow the voices. Lucia didn't hesitate, falling into silent step beside me, still clasping my hand.

Soon, we passed the sound of the women's voices without incident, confirming that it had been a spell. We would not be tricked. From where we stood, I could see the sunlight filter through the trees, beckoning us onward, into the open fields. This was close to the entrance where I had traveled with Grace, upon entering Sabina's mind in the first place.

"This is close to our entrance point," I whispered as I turned to check the path we had left behind us. "Maybe if we get back to our origin point, we will be able to reverse the lock her mind has on us."

Lucia took a very human breath and shook her head slowly. "Our position in her mind shouldn't make a difference, Castiel. We should be able to find our vessels without being in one point or another," Lucia sighed as she turned to stare at me, her ocean blue eyes examining my face. "Have you felt romantic love, Castiel?"

Her abrupt change in subject forced me to meet her gaze. "I- " I faded away, trying to think of how to articulate what I felt. "I have felt, I feel, very deep love for the Winchester children, Faith especially, and for the entire Winchester family."

"That bond is different than romantic love," Lucia commented, tilting her head.

Raising my eyes to stare at the tree line behind her, I considered how to proceed. "I have not experienced it as of yet, but I am wondering if I am beginning to."

We both seemed to realize that we were out in the open and exposed at the same time. I pulled Lucia to the safety of the nearest set of trees, naturally tucking her body behind mine for safety. I felt that we were alone, but I knew we didn't have long before we needed to move.

Again, I wondered why I felt the need to have this conversation while we were under such duress.

"Lucia," I began, my voice sinking to a whisper. "I think that if I could feel romantic love for anyone, it would be for you."

She stared at me, considering what I had said for longer than I felt comfortable. I finally looked away, feeling the awkwardness of the situation. "Castiel," she answered, "are you seeing me or are you seeing Grace?"

I was immediately taken aback, confused as to why she would ask something like that, especially considering how many times we had established to other people that Grace and I were friends and nothing more. Before I had a chance to answer her, my senses were suddenly alight as a billowing, shimmering, invisible wave seemed to come creeping towards us, searching. I knew it was a spell, attempting to seek out our location. Not taking the chance to answer Lucia's question, I pulled her into movement once again.

We ran.

…

Grace tapped lightly on the doorframe of Serendipity's hospital room and Sam looked up, raising his eyebrows to greet her. As she entered the room, Sam noticed that Grace seemed dull; her posture had rounded, her hair was darker than he was used to, and her eyes were missing the sparkle that usually lit her face from the inside. Grace looked ill and Sam was very worried.

"Hey," Grace whispered as she approached her sister, who still lay unconscious on the bed. Her monitors had been given the once over from the lead nurses and given the okay that they were still reading her vitals accurately. She waited at the foot of Serra's bed, hesitant to make eye contact with Sam.

Sam pressed his lips together, giving his best attempt at a smile.

"She been awake?"

Taking a deep breath and sitting up a little straighter, Sam huffed out the breath of air he had been holding. "Not since," he waved his hand vaguely around the room. "You see the tape?"

Grace nodded, silent. "I saw it," she whispered. "And I'm still not sure if I believe it."

Standing slowly from his chair, Sam stretched and walked towards Grace, resting his hand on her shoulder. "Grace," he sighed. "I don't know how to explain it, but it happened. It's like you were the one in that bed: light coming from every orifice. The lights popped, the windows blew out…" he faded away and shook his head slowly. "She raged for a good fifteen seconds, and then passed out again."

There was a knock on the doorway again and both Sam and Grace turned to see who the newcomer was. Julie, the nurse that assisted during Serra's emergency surgery, stood respectfully in the light of the entrance, holding an IV tube and a transfusion cart. "Hi," she greeted quietly. "She's due for another transfusion so we can continue to get her blood pressure up." Julie looked from Sam to Grace, "Who's up for it this time?"

"I got it," Grace replied, stepping forward towards the chair on the opposite side of Serra's bed. "You did it last and you still look like you could use another protein bar or two, Sammy," Grace lifted her eyebrows and sat down, setting her leather purse on the table beside Serra's bed. "At least I had a full meal this morning."

"No offense, Grace," Sam argued, "but you still look like shit."

Pressing her lips together, Grace nodded. "Thanks for that," she sighed. "I think I just feel a bit more human than normal."

"A human, trying to mother six kids," Sammy chuckled momentarily, but then seemed to remember that two of the children were missing. He took a gasping breath, looking away from his sister-in-law. "God, I'm sorry, Grace. I didn't mean-"

"To be normal?" Grace replied, raising her eyebrows. "It's okay, Sam. We'll get them back."

Sammy didn't answer, but instead rubbed his face and stared at the floor as Julie set up the IV between the sisters and then rolled the transfusion cart towards the head of the bed, out of the way.

"Okay, Grace," Julie sighed, trying to stay out of the conversation and the lasting sadness that seemed to suffocate the room. "We'll go for two hours this time. I'll be back in about an hour to check both of you," Julie explained. "Text me or Alana if you start to get light headed." She turned and glided silently out of the room.

"Thank you, Julie," Grace whispered as she turned to stare at her sister. Moments passed quietly, with just the sound of the machine pumping away, and finally Grace took a breath and turned to stare at Sam. "You can stop blaming yourself any time now," she whispered. "I may not be able to hear your thoughts, but it's radiating off of you."

Sammy looked up at his sister-in-law and sighed slowly. "I'm trying not to," he answered, shaking his head. "But when your kid is missing and your wife is close to death…it's a little hard not to get pulled into the sadness-guilt-loop."

Pressing her lips together, Grace nodded as she let herself stare off into the distance. "I wish I knew what was going on with me," she continued, almost to herself. "It's got to be some kind of spell."

"I would have never guessed that a spell could dampen your abilities," Sam answered, turning to face her. "You still can't get anything from Dean's Mark?"

Grace shook her head.

"A spell then, it's gotta be," he nodded slowly, running his hands through his long hair. "She's got us backed into a corner, doesn't she?"

"She's planned it better than we ever anticipated, that's for sure," Grace replied. She heard footsteps behind her and smiled gently at her husband as he leaned in the doorway. "The timing," Grace continued, glancing up at Dean. "I can't get over the timing."

"Timing?" Dean asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Gesturing to the room, Grace lifted her eyebrows, "The storm gets you, Serra, and Sam away from the kids, Cas and I were locked in Sabina's mind until he shoots me back, but I trade places with Lucia. Then," Grace took a deep breath, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. "The angels are locked in Sabina, we all get bamfed to the hospital with Serra, who has tried to die four times on us, separated from the kids…" she shook her head again. "It just seemed like Delilah planned out everything to the minute or we have had some of the most unlucky timing of our lives."

"I don't want to give her that much credit," Sam answered, standing and walking towards his wife, touching her hair gently. "She's just a witch. We can take her."

Silence wrapped its way through the room, but slowly, Dean took a deep breath, his low, deep voice pushing the silence away. "What if she's not?" he asked.

"What if she's not what?" Sammy replied, turning to stare at his brother.

Dean tilted his head, "A witch."

Grace turned in her chair to face Dean, her eyebrows knitted together. "What else could she be?"