Exams are officially over and I am officially very happy about this indeed.

Who do you think's going to win? If you haven't answered already, the poll on my profile wants to know.

Aaaand I don't own Naruto. Probably for the best really.

"Alright, listen up you two. These are the rules."

"Naruto, we never agreed to your stupid contest," Sasuke grouched. Naruto ignored him completely.

"First! Whoever comes up with the best prank wins. No revenge, no retaliation, winner takes all. That's it. Okay?"

Itachi looked thoughtful. "Actually, this could work."

Sasuke stared at him in disbelief."Itachi! You can't be serious."

"But I am, little brother. If you think about it, it's actually a rather good suggestion."

Sasuke gaped. "I cannot believe- you can't seriously-" seeing the blank look on Itachi's face, he threw his hands up in exasperation. "Alright, fine. Fine! I give up. Tell us the rest of your stupid rules, Naruto."

"Okay, secondly, no murder or maiming-"

"What kind of pranks are you thinking of here, exactly?" asked Sakura, scandalised. "No physical harm AT ALL! If you must go through with this insane contest, then at least try not to end up with both of you in hospital. If you don't agree, I'm getting Mikoto right now."

All three boys backed up hastily in the face of such a dire threat. "No, Sakura, that's fine- no physical harm! We promise!" Naruto said quickly. Pacified, Sakura sat back in her seat.

"Uh, right. So, no physical harm..." Naruto repeated, casting a wary look in Sakura's direction. "...and no damage to any precious possessions. Also, if you have to break the law, then-"

"Naruto." Sakura growled, dangerously.

"No criminal activity at all!" he hastily amended.

Sakura sighed heavily. "Alright, that's it. Since Naruto is incapable of being even slightly sensible, we're doing this my way. The rules are: no physical or mental harm, no criminal activity, no property damage, no getting anyone in serious trouble, and nothing that may- directly or indirectly- lead to any of the above. Got it?"

Itachi looked amused. "Sakura, I assure you, I had no intention of doing any of those things."

Sasuke looked outraged. "Oh yeah? Because putting up that bloody picture doesn't count as 'getting in trouble' at all-"

"I hardly count getting relationship advice from Kazumi as 'in trouble,' Sasuke. She's just trying to help."

"It's humiliating!"

"Humiliating? Let me tell you about humiliating, Sasuke, you didn't have to stand up and show the class that painting you so thoughtfully ruined-"

"Boys!" Sakura snapped. "Are you going to go along with this stupid competition, or not?"

Sasuke looked at Itachi.

Itachi smirked.

"Challenge accepted," snarled Sasuke through gritted teeth. "And I will win."

Itachi leant forward and jabbed him in the forehead before ducking out of his reach.

"You wish, little brother," he smirked.

And on that parting note he left the room, Sasuke steaming in his wake.

The second meeting of the Kill Itachi Club was off to a far better start than the first, mostly because Itachi wasn't present.

"We need a plan," said Sasuke.

Naruto snorted. "Thank you, captain obvious."

Sasuke ignored him. "We need something so ingenious, so utterly brilliant, that Itachi could never, ever, ever top it."

"That could be hard, Sasuke. Your brother is... um, your brother's pretty smart."

Sasuke scowled.

"He's not that clever."

"He really is, Sasuke. And he's got a vindictive streak a mile wide."

Sasuke had to grudgingly agree with that. For a pacifist, Itachi could be remarkably nasty when pissed off. Creatively nasty. Sasuke had been on the receiving end of Itachi's devious mind often enough in the past to know that.

But that didn't matter, because Sasuke was going to win this time. No matter what.

"I have an idea," he announced. "Here's what I need you two to do..."

"Hey, 'Tachi!"

Itachi looked over and smiled. The Akatsuki (as Pain had so fondly dubbed them- they didn't have a leader, per se, but first among equals was undoubtedly Pain) were lounging about under the boughs of the school's ancient willow tree.

"Hello," he dropped his bag and flopped down onto the grass beside Kisame. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Kisame shrugged. "How about you?"

"Sasuke has declared war."

The Akatsuki burst into laughter. "On you? Really? Is he suicidal or something?"

"Or something. Apparently my little joke with the photograph didn't go down well."

"Better watch your back, yeah," Deidara snickered.

"Please, like Minitachi's a match for the real thing," drawled Hidan, flashing a toothy grin at the use of the hated nickname.

"Well, at least this gives us something to do," sighed Sasori. "Itachi? What's the plan of action?"

Itachi leant back, a sly smile on his face.

"I have a few ideas."

Sasuke's first idea was fairly simple.

It involved a photograph. Turn about is fair play, after all.

Not just any photograph, though. After all, Itachi had so thoughtfully managed to get hold of the most embarrassing picture he could find for Sasuke, so it was only fair to return the favour.

Six Years Ago, October 31st

Itachi was ten years old, and currently hiding in the cupboard.

"Itachi!" called Shisui. "Come out, come out wherever you are... c'mon, I've got sweeties!"

Itachi was Not Stupid Enough To Fall For That. Well, not twice, anyway, and Shisui had already caught him out once tonight. Luckily, Itachi managed to escape, and now he was going to stay right here until Shisui gave up.

It was true. Monsters did come out on Halloween. Itachi had been expecting more of the big pointy teeth type, but having his favourite cousin turn into a demon was ten times scarier.

Last Halloween, Shisui had discovered that bringing his 'utterly adorable' baby cousin with him trick or treating vastly increased the amount of sweets he got. Therefore it stood to reason that if he wanted even more sweets, all he had to do was make Itachi cuter.

Kittens were cute. So, if Shisui wanted to get more sweets this year than he ever had in his entire life... he needed to get Itachi into a kitten costume.

Unfortunately, Itachi didn't quite see it this way.

"Come on..."

Shisui grinned.

There, in the corner, was the cupboard. And the door wasn't quite shut.

He feigned ignorance of Itachi's hiding place, making as if to walk past it- and then at the last minute, he pounced, wrenching open the door to reveal Itachi hiding behind a mop.

"Awww, Shisuiiii!"

Shisui grabbed his wriggling cousin's arms, desperately trying to hold him still. "It's only a costume, Itachi!"

"It's a girl's costume!"

"And? You are a girl."

Itachi scowled, kicking at his cousin. "Am not!"

"Well, you look- oof- enough like one! Just wear the stupid costume!"

"I do not! Get Sasuke to do it!"

"Sasuke's at a Halloween party!"

"MUM! MUM, HELP! SHISUI'S KIDNAPPING ME!"

"Be nice to Itachi, Shisui!" came Mikoto's voice from upstairs.

Itachi stuck his tongue out. "Yeah, be nice to me!" But he just smirked.

"I'm only trying to help him with his costume, Auntie!" Shisui shouted back.

Mikoto appeared at the top of the stairwell. "Oh, are you taking him trick or treating with you? That's very sweet of you, Shisui! Let me see your costume, Itachi, darling."

"I don't have a costume!"

Shisui grinned. "That's okay, I brought one. And it's just your size."

Mikoto caught sight of the kitten costume laid out on the chair, and clapped her hands. "Oh, Shisui! That is just precious!"

Itachi paled. "No, mum, I don't-"

"Hurry up and put it on, darling, I want to see it before you go!"

"Mu-um!"

"Come on now, Itachi, quickly. I'm sure Shisui wants to get going, don't you?"

Shisui adopted his most angelic expression. "Oh, yes, Auntie Mikoto!"

"Say thank you to your cousin, Itachi!"

Itachi looked from his mother to Shisui, realised that he'd lost, and groaned.

Ten minutes later, he was wearing a black t shirt and shorts, a long fluffy tail, and two black cat ears in his hair, which Mikoto had insisted he take out of his ponytail. He had eyeliner whiskers on his cheeks, and a red collar (complete with bell) fastened loosely around his neck.

He looked completely, utterly, absolutely adorable.

Click!

Itachi turned at the sound, eyes wide, looking bewildered.

Mikoto grinned, holding up the camera. "Definitely one for the album!"

Naruto scowled. "But I didn't do it!"

"Naruto, I saw you do it," Ms Senju said through gritted teeth.

"But Granny- "

"I told you not to call me that at school, brat!"

"But-"

"My office. Now!"

Naruto flashed Sasuke a thumbs-up as he was dragged off. Sasuke nodded at Sakura, who nodded back and got to her feet.

"Oh! Mr Sarutobi!"

He turned. "Yes, Sakura?"

"Could I have you help with something? It's about that project you assigned last week..."

Sasuke smirked. With Asuma and Tsunade distracted and Shizune on her lunch break, he had full access to the office computer. All the school computers were linked, and all were controlled from here. An administrator, signing in to this computer, could change- well, anything.

Sasuke was not an administrator, of course, but Naruto had many talents and one of them was wheedling information out of their English teacher Jiraiya- information such as, for example, the admin password.

Sitting down at the desk, casting one last wary look at the door (just in case), he switched on the computer and logged in, letting out a sigh of relief as it accepted the password and loaded up the desktop. Good.

He plugged in his USB stick, uploaded the photo, and clicked "set as desktop background."

Would you like to apply to all computers on this network?

Sasuke grinned, and clicked apply.

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