Misaki's First

Chapter 4

I walk away from Usami's house, my shoulders slumped forward, thinking about that boy, Misaki, who was with my Usami. How Misaki is the younger brother of that bastard Takahiro.

But not only do I think of Misaki, but also… I think about having sex with Usami, How I did that with him, how we pretended like I was Takahiro and how, it wasn't until after we did, that I realized I would never get Usami for myself.

That he'd never love me. He'd always love another, I had no chance of ever winning him. I had sex with the man for God's sake! How else could I ever express how much I love him? How much want him?

My life is to be lived alone, without Usami, as that little brat or that dickhead, Takahiro, gets him. My head rises slightly, scowling at my surroundings. A hate fills me, a hate that has always so easily possessed me, any time I think of Usami not being mine.

I slam the side of my fist into the brink building standing by me, my head bowing down, my eyes watching the gray ground.

I lift my head slowing, my fist staying at the boarder of this building, a building full of lovers, people that will always have each other. My scowl of an expression changes to despair. How could such a flawed, hateful person ever have someone so utterly perfect, so wonderfully loving? No… they can't, that's why I can never have him.

…

After I had taken my bath… Ok, after me and Akihiko had taken our bath I ran to the guest bedroom, -where I was staying for the moment- locking myself in, my towel covered body sliding down the door until I met the floor. I couldn't stop thinking about Akihiko, what he had done to me. Something I always had been taught to be a disgrace was now the most beautiful, pleasurable thing I'd ever come in contact with.

I rest the back of my head to the door, my towel dropping around me, goose bumps taking residence on my exposed flesh. My eyes close, thinking back to after Akihiko had finished washing me… I jumped from the hot water and sprinted for my room, as he smirked to himself, leaning his back to the wall, looking all too pleased for such actions. But then again… Deep down, I was quite pleased with him as well.

What the hell am I thinking? HE'S A MAN! I'M A MAN! It's not natural! Just as I try to convince myself I'm not in… not in great like with him –there's no way I'm in love with him… I think- I can't help but imagine his smooth, muscularly broad shoulders and sweetly lean body.

I catch myself drooling and soon after my eyes go wide at what's happening to my… lower regions.

A moan, so soft it's hardly audible, escapes my lips as my boner and mind work together to make my body long for Akihiko. For Akihiko's lips and for his tantalizing, wondrous, delicious, touches… damn it.

…

After I finished rubbing my Misaki's body –as if that's all I did- He ran for it, getting out of here. He left at just the right time too, because just as he leaves another idea hits me; for my books and journal.

This might just be the best idea I've ever had. Just having this brilliant idea in my head begins to turn me on.

…

After I got dressed I decided to go exploring again… I'm sorry, but this house is just too freaking huge to take it all in at once.

There's a hallway I've never even been down before, so I just assume that will hold interesting secrets and beauty… boy was I right.

The first room is the only one I end up getting to inspect, because what I find in here is… Most intriguing.

There's shelves and shelves and shelves and walls of too many books to count. I almost faint when I begin to think about how many letters there are, this being from both literature and math I can hardly stay conscious –both subjects not being my best… or worst either-.

I shake my head slightly, trying to get my mind out of the hard process of accounting all the books in here.

I walk over to one of the shelves, still a little dazed, plucking out the book with the brightest color. The cover is of a man and a shorter man, their backs pressed together, their heads bowed, their eyes closed. The taller of the men having features that reassemble Akihiko and the shorter having features that are so close to Nii-chan's that I know this isn't a coincidence.

The name of the book is Starcrossed Forever. I look at the book skeptically,knowing it must have secrets of how Akihiko really loved my brother. How people reading it think that it's purely the imagination the writer when in truth… It's everything he's gone through.

I slide the book back into its resting place, pulling out a different book that makes my eyes bug out of my head and my jaw drop to the floor. I'm on the cover! Or someone that looks like me! And, and, and… OH MY GOD!

Akihiko's behind me on the on cover, my face flushed as one of his hands is up my shirt holding my chin, the other down my pants. It's called Pure Romance.

I blink once, twice. Yeah, more like pure sex!

Something inside me is trying to get me to put the book down, that I don't actually want to read it… but another part of me –much stronger than the other at the moment- urges me to read it, to taste what really goes through Akihiko's mind when I'm in it. So…

I open to the first page, which is just as sexual and disturbing as the cover.

I pushed Misaki against the wall of my office just as he entered. I know he's my student and I know this isn't right, but… oh god, I want him so bad.

I start at his collar bone, my tongue trailing up to his pulsing neck.

"Sensei… what are you… ah." Misaki lets out a small moan of longing terror.

"I want you." I say to him as My hand travels up his shirt.

My eyes are glued to the page, my hands gripping the hardcover semi-porn book as my little friend starts to perk up at the words swimming through my brain, the imagines being painted.

His body his smooth and soft, his moans soft and longing. He's the definition of sex, something too desirable to let pass by.

I tweak his nipple, I suck his neck, yearning to taste him more.

His hand is placed on my chest, gliding down until it's on the right spot, my landmine, the part of me that wants to touch him the most. I shift my hips, my covered member hitting his hand; a hot moan breathed onto his neck.

He slips his hand into my pants, fingering me rough, even though a bit clumsily, it feels amazing.

My face is bright red "a bit clumsily"?

I have to stop reading… what if Akihiko walks in and sees me?... Too late.

I'm roughly grabbed from behind, my captor sitting on the nearest couch, my chair being his lap.

"Reading my stories, Misaki?" says the sexual voice of Akihiko as he licks the back of my ear.

"Usagi-san!" I say, struggling to get away from him, but believe it or not, it's even harder when you're sitting down.

His strong arms keep me at bay, a hold I could never dream of breaking free of.

"We just had sex!" I say, trying to make a point on why he shouldn't be molesting me.

He laughs at my words, a deep, hot blush taking residence on my face as I realize what I had just said and the reality of my words seeping in.

"Were you getting to a good part in the book?"

I struggle further, my legs kicking, my hands trying to pry away his arms that hold me so tightly.

"No! Of course not, it wasn't good at all." I say, sounding frantic as he begins to rub my chest with one hand, his other skimming down me going for my sweet spot.

"Usagi!" I say, trying to get his hand away from my limp member, but he manages to get a strong hold of me through my pants.

"Usagi? That's not completely formal, is it, Misaki?"

"Ahh…" A small groan is all that escapes my lips as my head goes back, the slightest bit.

"Usagi… ah…. San." I gasp out as he begins massaging me through my pants.

"That's better." Akihiko says lustfully.

Deep breaths start to push through my lungs as his nose buries itself in my neck, his left hand explores my torso, which he has already so thoroughly explored, while his right hand continues on to make me moan in sheer pleasure.

Don't ask me how, because I have no idea, but somehow he manages to flip me around. Now I face him, my knees on the couch, his legs between mine, and my hands on his shoulders for balance. He looks even more menacing and sexy from above…

He puts his hand behind my head, bringing my face down to his, our lips connecting in a dance of tongues and a passion like no other.

I try to push away, a whimper slipping past my lips, but he keeps me close, his lips soft dominating as they move along my own. His tongue plays with mine, flicking and stabbing at it. His hand ventures down my pants grabbing on me what is already hard and erect.

Our tongues slide together as his fingers dance across my dick. Moans of pleasure writhing through both of us.

Guilt and unsureness race along my mind. I know he's already taken me… we've already had sex, this is nothing new… I just… Why does he do it? Does he love me, or am I just his replacement for Takahiro? His cushion from a hard fall?

I pull away, from his hot lips, reluctantly, but even though our lips have parted, his hand still slides up and down my shaft, in tantalizingly, rhythmic motions.

I have trouble getting out the next words without coming in his hand and screaming with bliss.

"We… have to… stop." I flinch at my last word, not wanting to quit and the fact that at the same moment I say it he rubs the tip of my cock, feeling my pre-cum.

My breathing was ragged and harsh as I talked, it hardly sounded like my own. It was far to low, sexy, and uneven.

Akihiko's eyebrows furrow, not understanding and not liking what I'm say. His hand doesn't stop and he doesn't let me go, but instead his pace quickens and he slams my back onto the couch, leaning over me. His face is lined, sexily, with confusion.

"Usagi-san!" I yelp as his grip tightens on my shoulder, pushing my into the couch and his grip on my cock tightens as well.

"Why should I?" He asks huskily.

"AHH!" I yell as I grip the couch, it taking all of my strength to not cum.

I may have indulged on you before, you may have done the same with me, but… I won't be someone's second choice!

The thought of being nothing but his second choice brings heat to my face, but not in embarrassment, but in anger. My eyes begin to sting with the urgency to cry, but I decline myself such a luxury, closing my eyes tight.

The tears build up behind my eyelids and leach out from their barrier, my body shaking with anger and… something I've never felt this strongly before. Jealousy.

Akihiko's hand slowly stops.

"Misaki…" He says slowly.

"Get off!" I yell.

Akihiko lets my up, slowly; I hit him off the rest of the way. I get up, he sits on his knees on the couch. I stomp towards the door, zipping my pants.

"Misaki…" He's about to continue when I interrupt him.

"NO! I refuse to only be second best to my brother! You might not care how I feel, but I won't be toyed with and I won't be hurt this way! I've suffered enough!"

I'm not sure why I am so mad.

Akihiko looks shocked at my words. I leave the room before he's able to reply.

I get to my room, slamming the door. My eyes go wide, my breathing hard and deep, the anger leaving me, only something like sadness staying. Tears fall down my cheeks, my lips trembling.

Everything that's ever made my cry comes to my mind, mainly my parents… my own parents… My dead parents… And it's my fault their dead.

Please, forgive me for taking SO long to get another chapter up... I haven't been in the right mood to do so. Things haven't been the best lately. That's probably why the ending to this chapter sucks. I Hope you enjoy. Please review and forgive me if I don't get the next chapter in quick... Sorry for my little pity party.