Chapter 4

It was like a repeat of the night Alyssa was attacked. Alyssa's family and the whole crew were crowded into a waiting area.

Alyssa had been rushed back to the ICU. She had pneumonia…that was the reason for the fever, and when she coughed she wasn't able to clear the secretions because of her wired jaw. She aspirated on the mucus and it sent her into respiratory distress.

The doctor had cut the wires holding her jaw together and they'd cleared her airway as best they could…but they had to intubate her…so she was back on the ventilator.

Kelly felt like he was ready to scream. Why did this have to happen? Hadn't Alyssa been through enough? What was taking so long? Why didn't someone come out and at least give them another update?

He hated feeling so helpless.

Across the room her mother was blubbering and bawling like Alyssa was dead. The hospital chaplain and her son Jimmy were trying to calm her, but whatever they were doing…it wasn't working.

Kelly fought the urge to just go up and slap her. Everyone was tense enough as it was…and Nadine's carrying on was only making things worse. Finally, the chaplain had the good sense to take her into a separate room.

They could still hear her…but it wasn't as bad as before.

Finally a doctor came out to talk to them. Everyone looked up as he walked into the room.

The doctor was surprised to find over twenty people crowded into the small space.

"I'm Dr. Chason…" he began. "Are you all here for Alyssa Boungiovanni?"

There were several nods and Joey and Kelly both stepped up to meet the doctor.

"Yeah…we're all here for Alyssa. I'm Joe Boungiovanni…her brother."

"And I'm her boyfriend."Kelly said.

The team from 51 looked around at one another in wide-eyed surprise.

Kelly had finally admitted Alyssa was his girlfriend!

This was huge.

"Well…" Dr. Chason said. "She's developed pneumonia…most likely from the aspiration of secretions. We're giving her some pretty potent antibiotics and supporting her respiratory efforts…but I have to tell you all, this is a very serious complication. Her weakened condition is going to make it hard to fight off the infection. We're doing everything we can for her."

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Visiting hours were over…and the last of Alyssa's family and the team from 51 was leaving for the night.

Only Severide wouldn't budge. He stayed firmly planted in the chair next to Alyssa's bed, gently stroking her left arm wherever he could without getting tangled up in IV tubing and wires. He didn't take his eyes off her face.

Shay came up beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Kelly? C'mon…it's time to go."

"I'm staying." He said simply.

Leslie sighed.

"It's been a long day and we've got a shift tomorrow. You need to get some rest."

"What are you? My mother? Read my lips, Shay…I'm staying."

He annunciated each syllable…and she was getting really annoyed with him.

"So you're gonna sit here all night and be like a zombie tomorrow?"

"I already talked to Boden. I've got a shitload of leave time in the bank. So I'm taking some of it."

Leslie stared, wide-eyed…her mouth agape.

"Now what?" Kelly snapped.

"What can you possibly do here all night? Except put yourself in the bed next to her when you drop from exhaustion…"

He cut her off.

"She didn't develop all these complications just like that…she had to have been sick for a while and nobody noticed. Somebody dropped the ball, Shay. And I'm not gonna let that happen again."

"Who are you and what have you done with my roommate?" she asked incredulously.

"You know…first you're all over my ass 'cause I wasn't here…now you're on it 'cause I am…make up your damn mind, will you?

Shay just sighed in frustration. Once Kelly got an idea in that impossibly hard head of his there was no reasoning with him.

As she trudged toward the elevator Leslie couldn't help but worry that he'd gone too far in the other direction.

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It was without a doubt the longest night of his life.

For the first time, Kelly really had a chance to study her…to take stock of everything that had happened.

He took in every inch of her, lying motionless in the bed under the harsh lights in the ICU. He stroked her cheek…flinching when his fingers brushed against the tape holding the ET tube in position. There were angry red scars around her eyes and along her jaw line…but those would fade with time. He wondered if cutting the wires on her jaw would mean complications in the long run…but it was necessary, in order to save her life.

He moved down to her neck, and the semi-healed trach incision. And then to her right arm, still encased in a cast. She had rods in both her humerus and her radius…not to mention the nails and wires. It remained to be seen how much mobility she'd have in the arm. She might need her shoulder replaced somewhere down the line.

Her gown covered the worst of it…they had practically had to split her in two that first night during the eight hour marathon surgery where the doctors searched desperately for every bleed. She had had her entire blood volume replaced during that surgery…and God only knew how many transfusions since then. He knew some of the guys at the house had donated blood for her…he'd heard them talking about it.

He winced when he thought back over those first three weeks…when he was being such an idiot…no, such a coward…that he almost walked away and never looked back.

It was so hard to see her like this. Since the night he had met her, she was always doing something…cooking for him…baking for the guys at the house. They always pounced on whatever it was she'd made. A couple times he'd had to count and make sure he had all his fingers after he reached into the fray to snag a cookie or one of the famous Amaretto brownies. He was pretty sure he wasn't the only one who'd put on a couple of pounds…

And at home…as soon as he closed the door, she was all his.

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Most every day, the first thing she did was massage his shoulder…helping to ease the pain. When she did that it was easy to manage with just Aleve or ibuprophen. Usually…

He'd had to work on Valentine's Day…and that was fine with him. Just the idea of a whole Hallmark holiday dedicated to love and all that gushy stuff made him shiver. He never knew what to do…so he didn't do anything. No, that wasn't true…he did send her some flowers…but at least he didn't have to worry about making some grand, romantic gesture. Candlelight dinner at some swanky restaurant and whatever.

But Valentine's Day turned out to be the day from hell.

They had been called to the scene of a warehouse accident. A 350 pound fork-lift operator had a massive heart attack while he was moving pallets…and when he slumped over the wheel he had driven right into a shelving unit twenty feet high. The rows had gone down like dominos and some of the guys who had been picking orders didn't make it out of the way. Three men lay pinned under the wreckage…and it was all unstable. It was like playing pick-up sticks with a couple tons of steel.

By the time they got back to the house his shoulder was killing him. He had pins and needles running down his arm and all he wanted was to stand under a hot shower. Well, not really…what he really wanted was to pop a couple Oxy…but he didn't have any.

No sooner had he settled down, then the bells went off again.

This time it was a car wreck and he'd had to wedge himself into a tight place get a good angle with the spreaders in order to get the victim out.

His arm was on fire as he tried to maneuver heavy piece of equipment.

He couldn't take it anymore…he just about turned his locker and his quarters inside out hoping against hope that he'd stashed a couple pills somewhere and forgotten about them.

But it was all to no avail. He didn't know what to do…just that he couldn't handle another call. He thought long and hard about going to Shay and having her take him to the ER.

But he didn't. That would start him on the very road he didn't want to go down. It would mean surgery…and doctors and follow-up…rehab…and in the end he'd probably still be put on long term disability. He couldn't risk it.

So he locked himself in the bathroom and whenever he heard the door open he made some horrible retching sound. Finally he staggered out, claiming his stomach was messed up…that it hit him all of the sudden. It wasn't hard to sell it…he knew he looked like hell.

Boden sent him home…and fifteen minutes later he was walking in Alyssa's front door. She was surprised to see him when she came out of the kitchen…but one look at his face and she knew what was wrong.

First of all, he hadn't even bothered to change into his street clothes. Second, it was 30 degrees out and he had no jacket. And if that wasn't enough, there was the way he held his right arm close to his body.

Alyssa quickly crossed the dining room floor and came up beside him. She gently put her arms around him and carefully cradled his bad arm as she led him toward the bedroom.

Just her supporting the arm helped take some pressure off the nerve and already he was able to breathe a little easier.

After depositing him on the bed she ducked out to the kitchen. Kelly heard the freezer door open and shut, and a moment later Alyssa was back with a couple jumbo size cold packs she'd snagged from work. She carefully applied them to his neck and shoulder and guided him back against the pillows. She tucked one under his arm so he was more comfortable. Finally she sat down beside him .

He laid his left arm across her lap and encircled her slender body…keeping her as close as he could. And she gently rubbed her hand up and down his arm, just offering whatever comfort she could.

"What happened, Kelly?" she asked softly.

He opened his eyes…and stared into hers…so gentle, so tender…and oh, so much more.

"Just a lot of stuff…the kind of calls we were getting today…"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

His lips curled up into a little smile.

"You're already doin' it…"

Once the cold had eased the burning pains shooting up and down his arm, Alyssa helped him take off his shirt, and he lay down so she could rub his neck and his shoulder. By now, she knew exactly what he needed…where to touch, how much pressure, and for how long. Kelly could feel the tension drain from his body as he surrendered to the warmth of her hands, soft against his skin.

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He'd actually fallen asleep. And when he woke up it was night. Alyssa was curled up beside him and she'd brought the fuzzy blanket in from the living room and wrapped it around them. She softly trailed her fingertips across his back, he just loved the feeling of being connected to her somehow.

"Feel better?" she asked.

He slowly turned over in bed…gingerly rotating his shoulder and opening and closing his hand. It still hurt…but it wasn't nearly as excruciating as it had been before. His arm felt tired and heavy, and he reached for a pillow.

Alyssa saw what he was doing and quickly propped his arm up so he was more comfortable.

"A little…" he answered. "It's still sore."

She sighed softly and settled beside him, draping her arm across him, careful not to hurt his arm.

His stomach growled.

"Hungry?" she asked him.

"I'm starving…I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"I was planning a steak dinner for tomorrow…the one with the balsamic glaze you like…I can toss them on the broiler…"

"No…save that for tomorrow."

He wasn't surprised that she planned to make his favorite dinner…since they weren't supposed to be together tonight.

"I made soup today…" she offered hesitantly. "And I made fresh bread."

"Perfect." He told her.

Her soups were a meal unto themselves…full of meat and vegetables…it was more like a stew.

"Okay…I'll go heat some up."

"I'll keep you company…" he offered, as he struggled to sit up.

Oh..bad idea.

"Ow." He muttered, then cursed under his breath.

Immediately, Alyssa was beside him.

"What is it?"

"My arm…" he drew it in close to his body.

She reached out to reposition it…

"That helps…" he said as she helped support his arm like she had when he first got home.

"I've got something that'll help…"

She crossed the room to where her shoulder bag lay beside the dresser. She pulled a flat box from it, opened it, and took out a sling. She carefully put it on him and adjusted the strap.

"How's that?" she asked.

Kelly frowned.

It helped…a lot…but he hated it. He couldn't go around like that…

It was like Alyssa could read his mind.

"Just wear it around here for the next couple days…it'll keep the pressure off that nerve and you can just rest. And I've still got a couple more tricks up my sleeve…you'll be okay."

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It was four long, agonizing days until Alyssa finally turned a corner. The antibiotics finally started to knock down whatever infection raged inside her body…but it was back to square one. They had to wean her off the ventilator all over again and in her weakened state it took even longer.

The doctors talked to her family about traching her again…re-opening the hole they'd allowed to close.

But she managed to pull through.

Kelly hadn't left the hospital during those days Alyssa was fighting for her life. He'd barely left the room for that matter. And then only if one of her brothers or someone from the house was in the room…so he'd be sure to get a call if something changed.

And the day she stayed off the vent for twelve hours, he wanted to cry from pure happiness.

Because he knew that now Alyssa would be all right…he didn't know how he knew…he could just feel it.