Disclaimer: I don't own the movies or scripts. I'm just doing my best to poke fun with love. I also don't own Forrest Gump, alluded to in the Steward's Hall scene. I don't own Mel Brooks-style weddings, and I don't own Yoda's speech.
A/N: Thanks so much to Ogreatrandom for reviewing for last chapter! For someone with such a great sense of humor to think this is funny is a big honor. I hope you will all enjoy the last installment of the parodies, and review, even if you don't.
Lord of the Parodies: Return of the King
A flashback to our least favorite villain and another dude who is probably his third cousin four times removed on his great uncle's side.
"I found a fish!" Déagol screams.
He falls in the river and comes up about 30 seconds later.
"I found a Ring!" he screams again.
"I thought you said you found a fish," says Sméagol.
"Oh, did I? I don't know. Maybe both. You know, ADD."
"Birthday present time!" He throttles Déagol and takes the Ring. "Now I can take the Precious, become invisible, and rule the Misty Mountains with MY Preciouss! And I can scream at the Sun and call it weird names."
Three hundred years later…
"Forgot everything, we did. Forgot how to speak Common Tongue properly. Hates the Precious, we do. Or loves it, do we? Forgot we did. ADD, we have. Schizophrenia, we have too. Know our names we do not. Now have to call ourselves Gollum, we shall."
Forsaken Woods Between Osgiliath and Mordor"I'm tired," Frodo whines. "And I'm sick of carrying 52 pounds around my neck."
"Cares, we do not. Go, we all must. Close we are to Mordor!" Gollum says.
"You're a liar," Sam protests. "At the end of the last movie, we were still far off, and that was only a few minutes ago."
"For suspense, it was. Leave you hanging, the last movie had to. Do well in the box office, movies with angst do."
"I don't care," Frodo says. "Let's go throw this thing into the Cracks of Doom already, and go to our own doom in the process. How's that for angst?"
Isengard"I'm hungry," Pippin whines.
"What?!" Merry says. "We loot an entire wizard's pantry and you're still thinking about food?"
"Yea, so what? Hey! Here come Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas! Let's pretend we're better than them."
"Greetings and salutations to the three warriors from afar. For what reason do you set foot on my land? For it is my land now; behold, I have single-handedly vanquished the foe. To the victor, the spoils! And the food."
"Single-handedly? He had just a little help from me!"
"And me!" Treebeard puts in. "I only ran the whole operation. The nerve of young rascals!"
"A-men to that! Not doing any work and still getting to chill out at Isengard," gripes Gimli.
"Look! It's a pretty thing," says Pippin.
"Nope! It's mine." Gandalf snatches it from Pippin.
Meduseld"Victory! Let's all drink," Théoden shouts.
Everyone drinks! Except Éowyn, who stares at Aragorn. The Hobbits get one too many (as usual) and start dancing on the table, which usually ends in disaster. Gandalf, who's had quite a few himself, claps and cheers.
"What about Frodo?" Aragorn asks him.
"Who cares? Don't rain on my parade."
"This, a parade? I think you mean circus."
More Forsaken WoodsGollum shouts at the top of his lungs. "Wants to kill hobbitses all three of us do. Gets to get the Precious then, we do. All we cares about it is! Kills the hobbits!"
"Not if I kills you first!" Sam shouts.
"Sam, no! You can't kill my special friend," Frodo says.
"But he wants to kill us."
"No we don't. Stupid, fat, paranoid, delusional Hobbit. Voices in his head, they were."
"You're lying!" Sam shouts.
"Kill we do not. Lie, we never do. How even suggest it could you?" whines Gollum.
"Sam, he doesn't lie. I think you're hearing things," Frodo says.
"At least my ears work and I didn't miss Gollum shouting at the top of his lungs! I'll make him pay."
Outside Meduseld"My highly attuned Elvish intuition tells me that Pippin is about to do something very stupid," says Legolas.
"No! That's some sixth sense there, Blondie," says Aragorn.
"Oh yea, Mr. Sarcasm? I also happen to know that Sauron's looking for his Preciouss, right at this moment."
Aragorn shakes his head in disgust. Meanwhile, inside, Pippin looks for HIS Preciouss.
"Pippin, are you mad?" asks Merry. He thinks: Don't answer that…
"No. I'm elated, and perfectly calm." He picks up the Palantír."EGAD! I am on fire! Someone with intelligence greater than my own help me."
"Anyone including that rock over there?"
"Fool of a Took!! What did you tell him?" shouts Gandalf.
"Nothing important. He just wanted to know where I was currently residing. I told him Meduseld, and to stop by because the beer was so good."
"Fool of a Took!! I should just let him come and take you away. But I won't, because heroes aren't allowed to do malicious things like that." He takes out a map of Middle Earth hidden in some random place in his white cloak, closes his eyes, and points to a random spot on the map "Minas Tirith looks good. That way we'll be close to Mordor. Come on, Pippin."
"What ever possessed you to talk to that guy?" asks Merry.
"So what? He didn't seem that important anyway."
"Um, that's only the guy we've been trying to defeat for the past 2,500 years."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes. Pippin, I assure you that if you walk over to this wall and bang your head on it, that you will be in a much better state."
"Cool! Always room for self-improvement." He bangs his head against the wall as hard as he can. Soon he sees stars and passes out.
"Works every time."
"Fool of a Brandybuck!! Now I will have to take a pack of limp, useless baggage on my horse. Shadowfax, let's make Nascar drivers feel like they're driving go-karts."
Road to Gray HavensArwen hangs back from the group of Elves she's supposed to be traveling with. "No one loves me! Daddy and sweetheart both chased me away."
"Come on, gorgeous," Figwit says to Arwen, "don't get too far behind me."
"Umm… I think Aragorn would rather me turn back than hang out with this freak. Then I could prove my loyalty to him, and he'll be so impressed he'll fall over on his face and ask me to marry him!" To Figwit: "Yea. See you later! Wait, no I won't."
She rides back to Rivendell. "Guess who's back!"
"Arwen!" Elrond yells. "You cannot stay here and marry that lowly Ranger. You aren't even allowed to date yet. I shall not let you go."
"Dad, I'm 3,000 years old. Can't I do what I want by now for bloody crying out loud?"
"Um, no."
"Whatever. Hey, where's that sword Aragorn ordered?"
"Oops. Never got around to that. I am a busy Elf! I have not had time to tell them to work on it yet. Hey, elf-servants, get working on that sword we've had on order!"
Minas Tirith"Let's go talk to that bum of a Steward who does nothing but sit on his bum and order everyone else to do all the dirty work," Gandalf suggests. "You are not to talk about Frodo, Sam, the Ring, Aragorn's inheritance of the throne, and especially not Boromir. Hail, bum of a Steward."
"Mithrandir resurrected from the dead! My worst nightmare. And son-killer! My precious, darling, perfect Boromir died because of you. I see it in your face."
"No! It wasn't my fault," Pippin says. "But I'll make it up to you anyway."
"My precious son is dead! It would take a hundred years of the finest servitude to make it up."
"I'll do it."
"Foolish Hobbit!" says Gandalf. "You don't know what you got yourself into. I am infuriated by your nobility!"
Pippin and Gandalf's Quarters"I guess I have this sword just for decoration, huh?" Pippin muses.
"Of course," says Gandalf. "The fact that you are working for the defender of this city has nothing to do with the fact that you have a sword or anything."
"I wonder where Frodo and Sam are going."
"Mordor, where they've been headed for only the past six months. Go light that beacon. It's somewhere over there." He makes a huge swooping motion with his arm. "Please manage not to catch yourself on fire. We will reserve that for bum-of-a-Steward later."
Minas Morgul"Big, dark, scary, dead city there is on the Right. A big tourist attraction, it is not," Gollum announces.
"I want to see what it looks like. I am drawn towards dead people," says Frodo.
"No, Mr. Frodo!"
Suddenly, a 9.0 on the Richter Scale starts up. Nazgûl exit the city.
"I guess we hide now…" Frodo observes.
They cower until the chaos is over.
"Climb long, dangerous stair we must."
"Why me?" wonders Frodo.
Minas TirithGandalf looks at the lit beacon. "Pippin did something right, for once. There's a first and last time for everything."
Meduseld"Uh-oh, Gondor's on fire. We need help!" Aragorn shouts.
"You Gondorians always do," Théoden retorts. "And we are always stuck trying to save your hides. Road trip for all warriors!"
All random warriors standing around whoop and holler, including Éowyn.
"I'm a guy, OK?" she says.
"Riight… I wish you were," says Aragorn.
Osgiliath"Ready to kick some Orc hide?" Faramir asks.
"Let's do it!"
Orcs get off boats. More Orcs get off more boats. Five hours later, Orcs are still getting off their boats.
"Too many. My give up, my give up," everyone gripes.
A Nazgûl thunks into a tower, making himself very obvious. "So good to be back."
"NAZGÛL!! Run!" Faramir shouts.
Everyone runs like sissies with monsters in their closets! Then Gandalf comes and blinds all the Nazgûls.
"They're chasing us! I want my daddy," whines Faramir.
Cirith UngolThe ring pops out of Frodo's cloak.
"We wants that!" Gollum reaches for it.
"No!" Frodo shouts.
"I'll help you, Mr. Frodo," Sam offers.
"No! Everyone is against me."
"Against you, we are not. And wants the Ring, we do not. How dare suggest it, do you?"
"I love you, my special friend."
"But he wants the Ring! He just said so," Sam says.
"Sam, you're bothering my special friend and me. Go home," Frodo groans.
"No! That wasn't part of the plan." Sam starts sobbing so hard that he can't see his hand in front of his face through his tears.
Steward's HallDenethor is shouting at Pippin. "Halfling, what is your sole purpose in serving me, His High Almighty Highness-ness Lord and Steward of Gondor?"
"To do whatever you tell me to, SIR!"
"You must be a genius with an IQ of 180!"
"Actually, it's 8."
"Sure. Faramir, go ride off to your death in battle."
"Ok, Daddy! Anything for you. I would suffer through the fires of the Nameless Land for you."
"Yea, well my baby Boromir would have set himself on fire for me!"
"So would I."
"Sure. I still hate you. Just go. Halfling, entertain me while I pig out in front of your face while not letting you have any food."
Gandalf shouts after Faramir. "Faramir! Do you know that you are riding to your death?"
"Well, that's what Daddy asked me to do."
"Ok, Moron. Be like that."
"How about it, Orcs? Want to fight this out with Captain of Gondor?" He twirls his spear in the air pretentiously, but he whacks himself in the head and falls off his horse! "Duhh… oops."
Dunharrow"How many we got?" Théoden asks Gamling.
"I count 6,548 but that other guy over there tells me it's 6,458. So, let me start over…"
"No! I get the picture. Aragorn, I have no army."
"Don't blame me. I'm the one whose country needs help."
"Just don't say I didn't try."
Camp, At Night"Arwen…" Aragorn says in his sleep.
"Sir?" the guard asks.
"Try knocking…! Um, what?"
"Some guy is here to see you."
Aragorn exits his tent. "Yes?"
'Some Guy' answers. "Théoden is asking for you."
"Yes, Théoden?"
"Some guy is here to see you."
"When will I get through this meaningless scavenger hunt for Some Guy?!"
Elrond answers. "Peace! I am Some Guy. Hello, Aragorn."
"Elrond! You had to interrupt a good dream to lead me through a meaningless scavenger hunt for you?!"
"Fine, then, if you don't want your sword, I'll just leave. No skin off my nose."
"Wait! Is this the sword I've had on order since we left Rivendell?"
"Yes. Here it is. Sorry, I am a busy Elf."
"Yay. I shall name it Andúril and it will be my Preciouss."
"You can use it to go under that scary mountain and summon an army more deadly – I mean, more dead – or maybe I mean both –"
"There's no way I'm doing that."
"Fine, then you'll never see Arwen again because you'll die in battle."
"But I chased her away?"
"Some job you did. She came back. But I'm a busy Elf. I cannot stand here and waste my time trying to persuade stubborn men. Bye."
"Fine, I'll go!" Aragorn determines.
"No, don't!" Éowyn yells.
"I will. For Arwen, for whom I would go to the ends of the Middle-earth."
Éowyn stays back and sobs.
"Hey, if I come along, does that mean I get a girl?" asks Gimli.
Legolas snickers. "Yea, a dead one. Sorry, Gimli. With a face like that, I don't think you'll get a girl no matter what you do. I shall come along, too. Not that I need any more girls. I've already got every girl on earth (and off earth) swooning over me." He flips his perfect blonde hair with a perfectly smooth, graceful motion of his hand.
Gimli rolls his eyes. "Rub it in, Blondie."
"Shall we go? All for all and one for one… I think that's it."
"Let's go to our séance!" shouts Aragorn.
"You shall all join us shortly!" the King of the Dead announces. "Muahaha!"
"Not me! I have a pretty sword with pretty markings," says Aragorn.
The Dead People oooh and aaah.
"So who wants to follow me and see it in battle?"
"I do!" all the Dead People say in unison.
"Hey, cutie," one random dead female says to Gimli.
"Oh, brother," Gimli groans. "Yea, that's right. Go after my brother."
The Army of Rohan watches Aragorn and company enter the Scary Spot. "They're mad!"
Théoden groans. "Well, we're on our own. Éowyn, stay here, look pretty, and cook and sew like a real woman. Merry, you stay with her."
"But I'm a dude, too! I want to fight," says Merry.
"Too small." Théoden rides off.
"No hard feelings. He thinks I'm too small, too. How about we sneak off into battle together?" suggests Éowyn.
"Let's go for it!"
Gates of Minas TirithSoldiers drag Faramir's limp body in to Denethor.
"My baby!" Denethor whines. "Actually, I didn't really want him. Let's burn him alive under the pretense that I think he's dead."
"Not if I can help it!" says Pippin.
Denethor walks to the wall and sees 50 billion Orcs waiting to make a mincemeat feast out of the city. "This is bad! Everyone run away!"
"Um… no." Gandalf whacks Denethor with his trusty staff. "Everyone run into battle."
"Um… ok," everyone answers dumbly.
Fight! Dead people's heads fly through the air and create more dead people, Gandalf consistently whacks 3 Orcs at a time, Pippin stands in the middle of the place like a decoration, and wimpy Soldiers run to the second level.
Shelob's Lair"This place looks bad," observes Frodo.
"All places bad in Mordor. Chose this, you did," says Gollum.
"No. Stupid Council of Elrond chose it for me! Gandalf left me to die in this forsaken land. Why poor little me?"
"If goes back you do to green Shire, then no more bad places there will be."
"Nah. Sam is going that way. I'll stay here with you, special friend." He enters the tunnel. A huge spider soon makes itself known. "Egad! Special friend hates me. Everyone wants me to die!"
He runs out of the tunnel crying, and gets caught in a web. Gollum charges at him trying to get the Ring.
"I don't think so!" Somehow, Frodo manages a miraculous escape thanks to Sting. Gollum is left hanging in the web. "Now see what it feels like." He runs out of the tunnel but gets bitten by the spider anyway! "Duhh… rabies."
Suddenly, Sam pops out of nowhere and conveniently has Galadriel's phial. "Don't hurt Mr. Frodo. I'll Sting you!" He stings Shelob right in the eye. Said spider retreats to tunnel and protagonists prevail. Big surprise. BUT…! "Mr. Frodo! I'm sorry you're dead. Orcs!"
"Look, a dead dude. Except he's not really dead. You know what that means," an Orc says.
"Happy time!" shout the rest of the Orcs.
"He's not dead? Master, I'm coming!" Sam says.
Minas Tirith"I like fire," says Denethor.
"You should see the city outside," the Guards say.
"Well, then, let's make the Tower match!"
"I am going to do something heroic!" Pippin goes looking for Gandalf.
Meanwhile, at the battle…
"Go get 'em, boys!" shouts Gothmog.
"Run!" shouts Gandalf.
Théoden and company arrive on the Pelennor Fields. "Charge! Go get 'em, boys!"
"AND girl! Sheesh," shouts Éowyn.
"Gandalf! Come save Faramir," Pippin demands.
"Can't you see I'm multitasking here? I have to shout orders, whack Orcs, not to mention blink, breathe, and talk all at the same time. I am a busy wizard!"
"You're a wizard?"
"Yes! Fine, I'll come save Faramir. Denethor, put an end to this!"
"That's what I'm doing." He grabs a torch and throws it on top of the pyre.
"Yay!" Pippin shouts. "Time to be super heroic." He pulls Faramir out of the fire.
"Oh, and you needed MY help for that?" shouts Gandalf.
"Oops."
"What about me? Will no one save me?" Denethor jumps off the promontory.
"Good riddance," everyone says.
Pelennor"Yay, we're winning!" Théoden shouts.
"Not anymore," the Oliphaunts retort.
"Oh yea?" Éowyn says. She gets perilously close to the Oliphaunts' legs, and miraculously avoids being trampled about 26 times. She also takes about 26 Oliphaunts down in the process. "Take that. You got beat by a woman!"
Minas Tirith"I'm going to die," whines Pippin.
"It isn't that bad. Trust me. I speak from experience," says Gandalf.
PelennorThe Witcth-King slices Théoden off his horse. "Take that, King of Rohan!"
Éowyn cuts the neck off the Nazgûl's steed. "Take that, dragon!"
"You must die," says the Witch-King.
"So must everyone, including you."
"I can't."
"How about it?" Merry comes from behind and slices Nazgûl's knee. "Yes! I got to do something heroic."
Éowyn stabs the Nazgûl's face. "Take that. You got beat by a woman!"
"Duhh…" He collapses.
"Théoden…"
"Don't worry about me, Éowyn. I get to go to Happy Land."
She bawls anyway.
Anduin"Look, we've got company!" shouts and Orc.
"You bet," says Aragorn.
The dead army comes out and just runs over everybody, and they vanquish the whole lot! Can every battle be that easy?
The King of the Dead gets bored. "We have seen pretty sword. Let us go to Happy Land now."
"No way!" retorts Gimli.
Aragorn sighs. "Alas, I must. Heroes always have to be honorable and comply to every proper request. Go ahead."
The Dead People disappear.
"Merry! I miraculously found you among this battlefield littered with Orcs," says Pippin.
"I am happy."
Tower of Cirith UngolShagrat shouts, "I want pretty shirt!"
Gorbag shouts back, "I want it!"
Random Orcs file into the room and all shout, "I want it!"
Killing fest! Soon there are only a few left… for Sam, who enters.
"This party's over." He learns how to properly brandish a sword in two seconds and he vanquishes the whole lot.
"Sam! You saved me," Frodo says. "Will you be my special friend?"
"That's all I've been trying to do for the past 2 and a half movies!"
"Then what are we waiting for? To the Cracks of Doom! Only this time, let's dress up like Orcs!"
"Sounds like fun!"
Minas Tirith"All is Doom and gloom! Frodo will never make it," Gandalf gripes.
"Not our problem," Gimli says.
"Nonsense! The heroes always make the other heroes' problems their problems. It's all for one and one for all."
"That's how it goes!" Legolas exclaims.
"Anyway, we are going to sit here and die unless we ride out to battle and die. The heroes have to always die on the move! Let's go."
"Sounds like fun!" Legolas shouts.
"What are we waiting for?" asks Gimli.
"No one pay attention to me or anything. You'd think Gandalf was King," Aragorn gripes.
Mordor"Look!" Sam says. "All the Orcs must have ADD caused by the Ring. They're all going to the gate."
"Yay! Let's do this thingy," says Frodo.
The Eye turns to them. "Did you say ADD Ring?!"
"Oops! Hide," Sam shouts. "Ok, it's gone already. He has ADD too."
Black Gate"How about it? Wanna try and best the King of Gondor?" asks Aragorn.
Orcs laugh. "Hah! We serve King of Middle-earth."
"Not if I can help it."
Mordor"Why are we here again? I want to go home and see cherry blossoms," says Frodo.
"Oh no! The ADD is getting you!" Sam says.
"I want to eat strawberries. And cream. Man, I'm dehydrated."
"Come on! You're supposed to go to your doom at the Cracks of Doom." He drags Frodo in that general direction. BUT…! Miraculously, Gollum shows up.
"Guess who shows up, escaped from the web of big spider, preciouss."
"Not you!" Sam shouts.
"Gollum, my name is. Too easy on the heroes, it cannot be. Provide drama, I do, by miraculously escaping."
"Try escaping me!"
Fight! They both beat each other up, but no one gets hurt. Frodo ignores them.
"Oh yea. My special friend that left me. Aren't I supposed to be heading towards that ominous volcanic mass?" He walks towards it.
"Mr. Frodo, wait!"
Frodo enters the Cracks of Doom. "What was I in here for again?"
"To throw golden ring into golden-yellow-reddish lava."
"What ring? Oh well, I guess I'll go home now."
Gollum shouts, "Escape you cannot! CHOMP."
"Ow!"
"My Precioussssssssssssssss!!!!" He jumps up and down from excitement, but loses his balance and tumbles into the fiery abyss! He's finally dead… for good.
"Big explosion. Time to leave," announces Sam.
"Where are we?"
"Good old Mount Doom, remember?"
"No. Oh well. Let's sit on the only rock that's not burning in this land."
They sit on the rock while Doom goes Kaboom. Then eagles come and pick them up. Our heroes are safe!
Minas Tirith"Where am I?" Frodo asks.
"Minas Tirith," Gandalf answers.
"Gandalf!! Wait, you're supposed to be dead."
"I take that personally."
"Yea, well I take you leaving me about 52 times personally."
The Fellowship files in.
"Hi, everyone! Hey, people like me now. Hello, Sam, my special friend."
CoronationGandalf sets a crown on Aragorn's head. "Hail, King Aragorn son of Arathorn of the house of Valandil Isildur's son, heir of Elendil, Elessar, the Elfstone, the Dúnadan, Strider, Longshanks."
"Gandalf the Gray, the White, Mithrandir, Tharkûn, Olórin, Incánus, I thank you."
"This will be a day long remembered, not because it marks the return of the King, but because the King Aragorn, Elessar, Strider, etc. thanked me."
Legolas approaches. "Aragorn, special delivery! Rather large package."
"You're not special. And you're not large. You're just a pretty Elf boy that weighs, what, 20 pounds?"
"No, not me, her!" He points to Arwen.
"Arwen!" To Legolas: "Are you calling my bride fat?" He slaps Legolas!
Elrond bawls. "This is the saddest day of my life!"
"See you daddy. Hey, honey, let's smooch in front of everybody."
"Wait! Heroes have to first recognize those who have helped him." To Éowyn and Faramir: "Congrats." To the Hobbits: "Thanks a lot. Ok, Arwen, now let's smooch."
"Ok, guys, let's go home," says Frodo.
The Shire"Hey, what makes you so important?" asks a random old fat dude.
"I only saved your hide along with everybody else in Middle-earth. That's all," Frodo retorts.
"Hey look, there's Rosie Cotton dancing! Rosie, let's get married," Sam says.
"Ok, sounds like fun."
At the wedding:
"Do you?" asks the wedding guy.
"Yes," says Sam.
"Do you?"
"Yes," says Rosie.
"Good. You're married."
"Congrats, Sam. Hey, wanna read my new book?" asks Frodo.
"The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Mr. Frodo, this will be a bestseller."
"Ok, Mr. Prophet. Know where we're going now?"
"Road trip!"
Bilbo sits like a veggie on Frodo's lap. "Where's my Preciouss?"
"Bilbo, through a series of unfortunate circumstances totally beyond my control… I seem to have mislocated it."
"YOU DID WHAT?!"
"I mean, I deliberately traveled about 500 miles to throw it in fire!"
"Oh, that's more like it."
Gray Havens"I am leaving. I refuse to live on this earth when my daughter is married to that mess of a mortal King," says Elrond.
"I am leaving because I don't even have the power for my 88 rules anymore! Maybe overseas I can continue being a control freak," says Galadriel.
"Finally, I get my retirement. Bilbo, you do too," says Gandalf.
"Yay!" shouts Bilbo.
"And Frodo."
"Yes! I get to be like Elves."
"Wait! I don't care about anybody else, but Frodo can't go!" Sam protests.
"Too late," says Gandalf.
Sam, Merry, and Pippin start bawling their eyes out.
Frodo says farewell: "Bye, I'll miss you guys. Sam, you get to write in this pretty book. It's therapeutic. And when it goes bestseller, you'll get 100 of the proceeds since Bilbo and I are gone."
"But I can't write," says Sam.
"Oops. Take it anyway."
"This is too sad. What ever happened to happily ever after?"
"What have you been telling me for the past three movies, Sam? There's gotta be some drama. You see, bittersweet endings are the new trend. All the heroes survive, but something happens to one. Then everyone is intrigued, and it does well at the box office. Then really everyone is happy."
"Except me."
"I do not have 56 hours. I am a busy elf! This boat leaves Middle-earth right now. All aboard," says Elrond.
"We are about to miss our ride," Gandalf shouts.
Frodo answers, "Fine, I'm coming." He hops on along with Bilbo, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond. That really makes him feel VIP. His smile is the last thing we see before the screen goes black.
The End
…For good!!