The Mirror

Thank you for your kind reviews! I see I have everyone baffled! Good! Stay tooned! ~S&L~ xx

Chapter 4

Reader, I cannot explain the wonderful feelings which, just by holding her hands, Joey had created within me. Her cool fingers had caused a furnace to ignite in my heart; one which will never be extinguished! I had no comprehension of who, or what she was, but I had no care, either! All I wanted was to be allowed to worship and remain in her presence forever.

"Joey, tell me what you fear?"

Her chin fell to her chest and I raised my hand and touched her cheek.

"Joey?" I whispered.

She raised her head and looked deep into my eyes, making me melt inside.

"Charlie, I'm about to die. I am trying to take my own life and I can't seem to stop myself! I too, am lonely; I too, need to feel love. Please help me Charlie!"

I sat back on my heels, unable to understand, but compelled to put my life at her disposal.

"Anything I can do for you, Joey, I will. Please don't do anything rash. Please talk to me and we'll get through this together. Tell me how you feel and why you feel this way. Tell me every little detail about yourself."

Joey smiled back at me. She had smiled before, but this smile was different. This smile was a smile of relief at the promise of sanctuary. I clutched her cool hands tightly within my own, only wishing to bring her inner peace.

"I don't live here. I wish I did. It is my family home, but one I have not frequented for many years. I'd forgotten what the old place was like!" She smiled, looking around the room. "I can just about remember the last time I saw Nana. She was old, even then! But she was kind and generous to her grandchildren. I suppose she felt sorry for us."

"Why did she feel that way?" I asked as Joey paused.

"My mother died when I was a young child. Mum was Nana's daughter. You know Charlie, not to have a mother while you are growing up is the worst calamity which can be thrust upon a child. Not to have a warm breast to run to when you are frightened; not to be able to fall asleep in her loving arms; not to be able to cry hot tears into her heart..."

Joey paused abruptly as tears began to spill from her eyes. I raised my hand to wipe those tears away, but they evaporated before my eyes.

"My father was a broken man. To have the love of his life so cruelly snatched away and taken from his heart, killed him inside. He no longer had time for us; my brother, Brett and me. He was there, but not in spirit. His spirit departed this life with my mother's.

We lived in Sydney for some years. My brother and I lived as best we could with our empty shell of a father. It was hardly surprising that Brett got into bad company and slipped away from us... well, from me. I suppose I envied him in some ways. At least he was with people who noticed him." She said quietly.

"What happened to you, Joey?" I asked.

"I grew up and tried to care for Dad as best I could. It was difficult; he pushed me away so much. He said I was too much like Mum and he couldn't bear my face being around him. You can't imagine how bad I felt for just looking like Mum! If I could have changed my face; my personality, I would have done so, just to have him love me a little."

I listened to Joey; my heart aching for her and the miserable existence she must have endured.

"I took a job; I worked as a courier, delivering small parcels and packages to businesses in around the city. It wasn't much of a job but it gave me a little freedom and independence which I had never experienced before. I even made some friends... and one in particular."

I watched as a shadow of sadness crossed over Joey's face.

"She was the receptionist at a business I delivered packages to on a regular basis. Her name was Ellie and she had the promise of spring time in her eyes!"

With Joey's words, I felt a stab of jealousy; an emotion I was not used to encountering.

"We were instant friends and we started to date. Dear God, what times we had together!" Joey remembered, smiling with joy. "That was until she broke my heart!"

"What did she do?" I asked; the indignation showing in my voice.

Joey looked at me curiously.

"She found another; the usual thing, and left me."

"Had you been together long?"

"Eight months. Maybe it was just as well. I had been seeing her in secret; I wasn't sure how to explain to my father that I was gay. He thought I was seeing a guy!" She chuckled.

"Did you ever see her again?" I asked quietly.

"No. I gave up my job. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing her. It was just too painful."

"How long ago was this?"

"It was six months ago. I never wanted to live that long without her." Joey mused.

I squeezed her cool hands tighter.

"Then we got the news that Brett had been killed in a gang fight. This finished my father completely. He killed himself three days later."

My mouth fell open in shock and sadness for this young woman; a young woman who had her whole life ahead of her, but being so emotionally scarred, how could I help?

"I had all but made up my mind to come home to Nana's to live when I got word that she too, had died."

Joey swallowed but sat perfectly still.

"You can now see why I stand on the bridge waiting for the right moment to end it all. That's why I am here Charlie. That's why I need your help!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again. What could I say to this young woman to make her step back from the bridge and continue to live? What did she have left? What did I have to offer?

I looked into her brown eyes which pleaded with me for help.

"What do you need me to do, Joey? Where are you? Where is the bridge?"

***

Suddenly, my eyes opened and I found myself on the sofa at home. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The lamp was still on and my glass of wine was still waiting to be drunk. I looked at my watch; it telling me it was a little after nine!

Had I been dreaming? Did I not go out for a walk and end up in Ocean View Drive? And was I not invited into Joey's house and listen to her sad story?

I sat up straight; my heart beating with alarm. It was all too real; it was all too true. Somehow, Joey had reached me through my subconscious and imparted her sad life story.

I jumped up frantically and switched on my laptop. I had to look at 'Sea Breeze'; I had to see if Joey was still there.

"Come on! Come on!" I muttered to myself as I waited for the green dots to indicate connection.

At long last, the estate agent's web page appeared on the screen and I hastily scrolled down to the property in Ocean View Drive. But where was it? It has disappeared. I blinked and scrolled up and down the site frantically looking for the house. I clamped my hand over my mouth.

What had happened? It had disappeared! The house had vanished!

I jumped up and rushing to the table, picked up my car keys and phone; hastily leaving the house.

***

I drove quickly but not particularly safely to Bay Breeze. I jumped out and ran down the pathway to the house and knocked loudly at the door, using the brass fish-serpent knocker.

Silence.

The house was in darkness. I was at a loss to know what to do next. Had I been dreaming? Did Joey exist in whatever form she might be? All I knew was, I had fallen deeply in love with this girl and I needed to see her again, to save her from her own self destruction.

I knocked again and called out her name.

"Joey! It's me, Charlie!"

A noise from a house nearby caught my attention and I looked up as a neighbour popped their head over the wall.

"Can I help you?" The man asked, cheerily.

"I-I am looking for Joey!" I said urgently.

"Joey? I don't know any Joey, but if you're talking about old Josie who used to live here... well, she died a while back."

I looked frantically at the closed-up house and then back at the neighbour.

"I don't understand it! I was talking to her only a while ago. Oh dear God, where are you Joey?" I called up at the house.

The neighbour looked suitably shocked and hastily wished the unhinged woman standing on his late neighbour's door step, a 'goodnight'.

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked about me for some way to enter the property. I needed to find Joey and I needed to do it quickly. But every window was barred to me. I trotted around to the low back gate and lifted my leg over it to achieve entry into the garden. Once in, I stumbled and fell over some rubbish which had evidently been slung out into the garden to make the house look less littered. I cursed quietly as I picked myself up and continued to look for an opening.

There, a small sky-light window in a bedroom overlooking the garden was open. I looked about for a ladder and saw one resting against the base of the wall. I picked it up and placed it against the house.

I wasn't aware until that moment that I suffered with vertigo! Six rungs up and my head began to spin. I closed my eyes and shook my head in hopes of clearing the feeling. I swallowed and opened my eyes again; keeping them firmly fixed on the open window above. Slowly, but surely, I climbed to the top; my arms and legs shaking with fear. When I reached the window, I clung onto it for dear life and considered my next move. My eyes met with a handle just inside the window which would open up a larger window to the side. I slipped my hand inside the small opening and stretched to reach the handle. The ladder wobbled, and so did my nerve! My heart beat furiously with terror as I clung to the window in hopes that I would not be left dangling without a ladder beneath me! But the ladder steadied itself and I breathed a sigh of relief.

My fingers just touched the handle and I managed to nudge it into an open position. I then pulled the window out which was large enough for me to gain access without too many difficulties. I struggled inside and jumped down onto the floor. The room was dark and silent and the door to the room was closed. I remembered the room as being 'the spare'. I walked over to the door and opened it and made my way out onto the landing. All the other doors were closed so I opened them, each one in turn, looking for Joey. But Joey was not there.

I bit my lip anxiously and quietly called her name.

"Joey! Are you here? Can you hear me? Please Joey!"

But Joey did not materialize.

I was devastated! What had happened? What had Joey done?

I ran down the stairs and investigated each room, leaving the lounge until last. I switched on the light and found my half finished wine glass.

So, I had been there! I had seen Joey and listened to her story that evening. I ran my hand over the chair where Joey had sat and lay my head down on it; pushing away unwanted feelings of panic at what Joey might have done.

If only I had established where the bridge was! Why didn't I ask Joey sooner?

"Oh, you silly idiot!" I cried, cursing myself.

"Joey! If you can hear me; even if you can't show yourself to me, I want you to know that I love you! I want to look after you! I'm going to look for you at the bridge; wherever that bridge might be! Even if I have to go to every bridge in the state, I will. Please don't do anything rash! Please wait for me!"

I felt a cold breeze disturb my hair and I knew it was Joey.