And now we find out why the girls got sent to the Sherlock Universe. And Artemis has a plan to figure out what's going on once and for all.
It was hours later that Artemis came back with a new laptop in a sturdy leather carry case. She'd detoured to a cafe with wifi and spent several hours researching Sherlock, she'd read through all of Johns blog posts, all of the news articles and even been on the fan sites. She walked into the flat and locked the door behind her before setting the case down on a chair. "Moriarty isn't dead." She said leaning back against the wall.
Tracey looked up from the beautifully decorated, leather bound journal she was writing in and stared at Artemis with her mouth slightly opened in disbelief. Slowly she marked her place with a piece of blue ribbon and closed the journal. She sat up straighter on the couch and spoke in a low whisper.
"But how is that possible? We know he died, we saw him eat his own gun and his brain matter splatter out behind him." Tracey said, keeping her voice low just in case anyone was listening. "I guess that's why we're here, but now we have to figure out if we're suppose to make sure he kills himself or if he's suppose to be caught... but how are we going to go about doing that?"
She let out a sigh and her facial features contorted into a thoughtful expression. Artemis moved away from the wall and headed towards the kitchen speaking quietly. "I just spent hours reading everything I could find about Sherlock and Moriarty. The events at the Pool happened just as we saw them, the Great Game too, where he had Sherlock chasing all over London solving cold cases. But then it all changes. Moriarty never executed that weird series of daylight robberies, never got arrested and never got released. He never framed Sherlock and the fall off St Barts never happened. It's now at least a year past the date when all that would have happened. Add to that that Moriarty is still running around taunting Sherlock, there are a few blog posts that mention him in connection with a strange crime. Irene Adler is still at large in the world too but we already knew that."
She poured a cup of tea and stirred in cream and sugar her eyes not focused on the kitchen but on some inner thought process. "I'm going to try to do some magic tonight, try to see if I can reach out to the Voice on purpose and get some answers."
Glancing at her watch, Tracey noted the time and then got up from the couch to head for the kitchen too. She started to pull out her ingredients for the sour cream enchiladas. Tracey washed her hands and started to pull out the mixing bowl, measuring cups, and spatula. The prep work wasn't the hard part for the most part though the mixture did get thicker with each ingredient that she added. She purposely left out the onions because of Artemis's stomach problems and made sure to fold over the thickening filling thoroughly before applying healthy portions to the flour tortillas and then rolling them up and putting them in a pyrex glassware container so she could cook them. She made sure that she put a nice layer on top of the tortillas for extra flavoring. It would take about an hour and half to fully cook and that would be about the time that their company should be arriving.
"While these cook, I'm going to straighten up a little and make sure the beers and wine are cold. I hope tonight goes over well." Tracey said with a smile. "If you need a little extra energy boost than let me know and I'll lend you whatever you need."
Artemis smiled and nodded. "I will. I'm going to go extend the invite to Mrs Hudson and John since I'm 90% sure Sherlock forgot to."
She left the flat and walked up the stairs to 221B and knocked. John opened the door and smiled brightly. "Artemis. What brings you to our flat? Sherlock hasn't invaded again has he?"
Artemis shook her head. "Nah, he's fine. I wanted to let you know I invited you both to dinner at our place. I know he'll forget so I thought I'd make sure you know."
He looked a little surprised. "Oh… well thank you for that." He leaned on his cane a little and tilted his head looking at her curiously.
"Why are you being so friendly towards him after he manhandled your girlfriend within the first 5 minutes of meeting you both."
Artemis laughed and he couldn't help the answering smile. "Tracey isn't my girlfriend. She's my sister. As to the friendliness I'm not exactly what you'd consider normal either, it makes me appreciate those of us who live outside the social norm."
"And Tracey? How does she feel about him?" John asked.
Artemis shrugged. "Tracey isn't the flaming extrovert that I am. She's more reserved and it takes her longer to warm up to people but she'll get there."
A door downstairs opened and Artemis glanced down the stairs at Mrs Hudson who was making her way up with a tea tray. "Oh Mrs Hudson, I was going to come see you. If you're free would you like to have dinner at our place tonight?"
Mrs. Hudsons face lit up with a smile. "Of course dear. That sounds lovely."
Artemis and John moved into the flat to give Mrs Hudson space to get by and Artemis looked around curiously at the general mess. "Remind me never to let Tracey come up here, her OCD will go into overdrive."
"You're both such tidy girls." Mrs Hudson said puttering around in Sherlock's flat avoiding the jars of body parts.
Artemis looked around at the messy desk, the towers of books stacked precariously all over every surface and on the floor, The skull on the mantle and the only clear space by the music stand with a violin case. She smiled thinking that the messiest people had the busiest minds.
John invited Artemis and Mrs Hudson to have some tea with him and they settled on whatever clean chair they could find. John started telling Artemis funny stories and they were all laughing too hard to hear Sherlock step into the building, he listened for a minute then decided to do a little investigating 'Snooping' his mind tried to interject but he ignored the thought.
He carefully slipped into Artemis and Tracey's flat, he could hear Tracey in the bathroom and the scent of cleaners told him she was probably scrubbing the tub. He looked around noticing all the little details, a new laptop, the smell of food cooking, music playing softly somewhere and a leather bound journal sitting on one of the end tables. He crept past the bathroom door which was half closed and poked around the bedrooms for a minute. Traceys bedroom was clean, the bed made and only a few personal items laying on the bedside table. Artemis's room in contrast was a mess. She didn't make the bed, clothes lay haphazardly on the chair, the foot of the bed and on the hooks of the closet door. Her bedside table was littered with personal items, a sleeping mask, pens, a journal, candles a bottle of allergy medicine and a stuffed fox. He left the bedrooms and went back towards the living room intending to break into the laptop when he paused by the bathroom door. Tracey was singing softly but in no language he'd ever heard before and he made it his business to have at least heard every spoken language. It had finnish tones, a singsong cadence but the words were a curious blend of too many languages. He stepped quietly into the room cocking his head trying to puzzle through the language, Tracey was on her feet bent under the sink, he didn't even realize how close to her he was when she came back out from under and saw him in the mirror.
Tracey's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Instantly she went into defense mode and ducked down, sweeping his feet out from under him and watching as he fell backward onto his ass with a resounding thud. She pulled a taser gun from a holster at her ankle and shot him in the chest. The electricity coursed through his body, causing his muscles to spasm, his limbs to twitch and flail around on the floor of her freshly cleaned bathroom. Slowly Tracey rose to her feet, lips twitching at the corners of her mouth until they turned down and frowned at Sherlock as he twitched on the floor. She was far from pleased with him now and no amount of apologies from him would let her anger with him subside. The first few pissed words that flowed from her were in the same language Sherlock had heard from her when she was singing, though these were sharper and more harsh than before. Tracey suddenly realized that she was speaking Elvish and rolled her eyes and let out an angry breath.
"I told you I didn't like being stalked and then you go and do this!" She snapped, trying her hardest not to send another jolt of electricity through him again. "At least I've kept my word to Artemis... I told her that if you tried something again I was going to taser your ass and I'm a woman of my word. Stay out of our apartment or else."
Stepping over Sherlock's slightly twitching and leaving the bathroom, Tracey left the apartment and stomped up the stairs to the flats above. She pounded on the door of 221B and waited to be allowed inside or for the door to be answered. John opened the door looking concerned and Artemis stood "Tracey… whats wrong?"
"Get him out of our apartment now before I do something we'll all regret." Tracey seethed through tight jaws, holding up the taser with her finger off the trigger. "He's not invited to dinner."
Crossing her arms under her chest after returning the taser to its holster at her ankle, Tracey stepped to the side of the hallway and let her anger simmer, glancing over Watson's shoulder at Artemis. Artemis walked past her patting her shoulder and hurried down the stairs to their flat where Sherlock was just starting to sit up looking dazed. John had stayed with Tracey upstairs trying to smooth things over.
"You know for the smartest man in London you're pretty stupid." Artemis said kneeling down beside him.
He held up a finger and moved it side to side. "Track my finger Sherlock."
It was a measure of how dazed he was that he actually did as instructed and she smiled and smoothed his hair away from his face. "You are damned lucky I made sure to turn the amperage down on that taser."
"Why?" He questioned trying to get up but his legs weren't quite cooperating.
"Why lucky or why did she tase you?" Artemis asked putting her hands on his shoulders keeping him down.
"Both...either…" He mumbled feeling like his face weighed a hundred pounds.
"Lucky because if the amperage were much higher I'd be administering CPR right now. And she tased you because you snuck up on her again, uninvited again after she told you not to stalk her." Artemis lightly smacked him upside the back of the head and he looked at her surprised.
"It wouldn't bother you…" He said slowly. "I don't understand that."
Artemis smiled and helped him up. "I'm not bothered by much. Been too many places seen too many things."
She helped him towards the front door then stopped and checked his pockets. When she came up with nothing she smiled again. "Sorry, had to check. You sir have a bad reputation."
He started to regain himself as they went up the stairs. "I do not have a bad reputation, I simply have a reputation, it's neither good or bad. It's like the news, or the weather."
John had talked Tracey into coming into the flat and when Artemis brought Sherlock in he stopped dead and Artemis turned to face him. "Now you are going to apologise to her for sneaking up on her, you will promise not to do it again. And Tracey," Artemis turned to look at her friend. "Please be so gracious as to allow him to come to dinner, one of you needs to be the grown up and I have the sinking feeling that it's going to have to be you."
She nudged Sherlock who was looking down his nose at her and raised an eyebrow. He sighed and barely glanced at Tracey. "I apologize for entering your flat uninvited. It will not happen again." He swept past them all and retreated to his bedroom.
"Fine, but he's sitting on your side of the table."
The words Tracey muttered next was one of two of her normal angry statements she and Artemis used when they knew something was too good to be true.
"I'll believe that my shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."
Artemis shook her head fondly and took a few steps forward to hug Tracey lightly. "I know. I'll have him sit as far away from you as possible. Why don't you go finish angry cleaning and I'll… do whatever it is I do…"
"Yeah I'll do that..." Tracey replied and started down the stairs before calling back up the stairs. "Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes."
Going back to their apartment, Tracey finished putting their bathroom in order and put the cleaning supplies away. She went to the kitchen and washed her hands as the timer on the counter dinged and alerted her that the enchiladas were finished. Tracey told Artemis that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes so the food would have time to cool and before their guests arrived. She ran a brush through her hair and tied it back just as she heard the door open and voices come into the living room.
"There's cold beers in the fridge, tea, and other if that's what you're into." She said, coming up the hallway with a small smile on her lips.
John and Mrs Hudson were sitting on the couch but Artemis hadn't come down yet. "She's talking him out of his room dear." Mrs Hudson said standing up and offering a small bowl of violets.
John smiled and stood up as well. "I'd love a beer if you don't mind?"
"Not a problem Mr. Watson, I'll grab a cold one for you." Tracey said kindly, closing the door behind them, took the violets from Mrs Hudson and set them in the center of the table. "And for you Mrs. Hudson, a nice spot of tea perhaps?"
She went to the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and opened it before handing it to Watson. Opening the cabinet, she pulled out plates and began to set the table, bringing out the cutlery and napkins out too. Artemis was a very convincing talker and Tracey knew that she'd have Sherlock down those stairs in due time, but she didn't know how enjoyable it would be.
A few minutes later Artemis came clattering down the stairs with Sherlock in tow. He looked grumpy and resigned to being dragged by the hand like a five year old. Once they were in he stopped and crossed his arms. "I have done my part, do yours."
Artemis grinned and leaned up to whisper in his ear and he stood up suddenly. "I knew that couldn't be your real name! No wonder I couldn't find you online!"
Artemis laughed and nudged him towards a seat. "Sit down Sherlock and if you can make it through the meal without antagonizing Tracey I'll tell you another secret." She sauntered over to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine.
John looked surprised when Sherlock promptly sat down next to Mrs. Hudson. "How… no, I don't want to know, I'm just glad it's worked." He took a sip of his beer and sat down with Sherlock.
"Fat chance of that." Tracey muttered softly and looked at Artemis. "Are you feeding him tidbits Arty? We shouldn't be giving him hints, that's not how we play this game."
She brought out the glassware dish of enchiladas and then went back for another spatula to cut and serve the food on everyone's plates. For Artemis's sake she even made a leafy green salad and a mixed fruit salad as a side. She brought out a few salad dressings so everyone could take their pick and then they were served. Tracey grabbed a cup of tea for herself and brought over a cup for Mrs Hudson and set it down on the table for her. Taking a deep breath she looked at Sherlock, blinked and studied him for a moment.
"I surmise you'd like a cup of tea as well Sherlock, or would you like something else?"
"I think I'd like to try some wine if you don't mind." He replied politely.
Artemis smiled slightly and took a sip of her wine before sitting deliberately between his seat and the seat Tracey would. She started dishing out plates for John and Mrs. Hudson while Tracey poured a glass of wine for Sherlock. John broke the tense silence by telling a funny story about a small child who had been in to the office during his last shift. "The poor little blighter had stuffed a raisin up his nostril and was making the funniest whistling noise with it." He chuckled.
Tracey's eyebrow rose as she turned away to grab the wine bottle and another glass from the cabinet. She brought the bottle of wine to the table and handed off Sherlock's glass, looking him directly in the eye for a moment and then blinked. She turned away and walked back to take her seat in the chair on Artemis's other side and smiled at Mrs Hudson and Mr. Watson.
"Please eat and enjoy, this is my mom's recipe and only she could make it better than I."
There were several minutes of contented eating and then Artemis started a story about one of the conventions they'd been at. Tracey relaxed as the meal progressed and it almost started to feel like life as usual. Sherlock had kept quiet through the meal and John and Mrs. Hudson were wonderful companions to have at dinner. Artemis eventually looked at Sherlock who miraculously had eaten his whole meal. "So… I didn't realize how famous you two are until I looked you up online. I read Johns blog, did you guys really almost get blown up at a pool?"
He seemed to come out of a trance and blinked at her. "Yes."
John jumped in and told them the whole sordid story while Artemis listened.
"Now that's interesting." Tracey said, looking at them both and putting her elbows on the table with a smile. "We like to read up on cases such as yours and John, your blog is phenomenal and I loved every posting. You should write a book about your exploits and adventures too, they would be a good read for people in America."
John looked a little surprised. "I hadn't considered that."
Artemis chuckled then propped her chin in her hand. "So Moriarty, you kinda glossed over him. What was he like, aside from fucking nuts I mean?"
John looked at Sherlock and hesitated, Sherlock was leaning forward, his blue eyes laser focused on Artemis and Tracey but when Artemis gave him pleasant curiosity back he relaxed a little and nodded to John. "Well he… I guess... " John seemed to be at a loss as to what to say when Sherlock spoke up.
"Jim Moriarty is the worlds only consulting criminal and is as brilliant as myself. He is as you put it 'fucking nuts' but he is more than that. He is determined, focused, and ruthless in the extreme. There are things he will do that I, in my wildest nightmares would not consider. And he and I are locked in a Battle Royale of the mind with the only stakes that matter. Life and Death." He picked up his wine and took a generous swallow.
Artemis looked over at Tracey her eyebrow quirked. Tracey glanced over at Artemis too and raised both eyebrows as she looked down at her tea cup and then drank from it. She savored the warm liquid and finished off her last few bites before setting down her fork and pushed her plate away from herself.
'Self-centered much?' Tracey thought, staring at Sherlock and mentally smacking herself for her thought. 'But I should have foreseen this because Artemis and I have both seen how this guy think and acts.'
She looked over at John and smiled.
"Of course they'd be a good read. Listen I've worked at a bookstore and I've helped several customers look for mystery and crime novels. I've also seen them in my other clients' houses when I come over to clean their houses. You wouldn't believe the amount of mystery books that I've seen." She said with a smile. "I think you'd make a pretty pound sending them to America."
John flushed a little but shook his head. "I shouldn't. Sherlock is already chuffed over the blog, adding a series of books to it would be too much. It's his life story after all."
Sherlock looked like he wanted to say something but he kept his mouth closed apparently having decided that silence was his best chance at not antagonizing Tracey. Artemis got up and grabbed clean bowls for the fruit salad and some whipped cream and made herself busy serving up the fruit to everyone including a small portion for Sherlock though he looked a little askance at the dish. She added a dollop of whipped cream then sat down with her own small serving.
By the end of the meal Mrs Hudson and John were in fantastic spirits and Sherlock was doing his best not to fidget. Artemis finished her second glass of wine and set down the glass leaning back. John and Mrs Hudson wrapped up a funny story about a very anxious woman with a toy poodle that had gotten loose in Sherlock's flat when Sherlock stood up and gave a very stiff bow. "Hannah, Tracey, thank you for a wonderful meal. Have a pleasant evening."
He paused at the look on Artemis's face and John gave them a curious look. "Who?" He asked.
Tracey looked at Artemis and shook her head.
"It looks like the only way Artemis could get Sherlock Holmes to be social was to tell him her real name." Tracey said with a smirk. "Glad you seemed to enjoy yourself Sherlock, good evening."
Sherlock was watching Artemis though his words were directed at Tracey. "You too." He left ahead of Mrs Hudson and John.
Artemis looked at John and smiled a little. "I'd prefer if you kept calling me Artemis, or Arti, My birth name never really fit me. That's not who I am."
John nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry if Sherlock made you uncomfortable."
She grinned and stood up offering him a hand. "It's a mental hang up I need to get over anyway. You guys have a nice night ok?"
Mrs Hudson insisted on hugs before she left but a few minutes later Artemis and Tracey were cleaning the kitchen alone. Collecting the dishes and bringing them over to the sink, Tracey began to run the water over them and used the sponge to scrub the leftover food particles from the smooth plates. She rinsed them off with hot water and set them in the drying rack to air dry. The leftover food she covered and put in the fridge to heat up later and then proceeded to wipe down the table and counters.
"Well that was... fun." Tracey said quietly, hanging up the dishcloth and turning to Artemis. "I don't mind telling you now that I preferred watching Sherlock from the t.v. side of the living room and that he's annoying as hell... what are your thoughts about all this?"
Artemis leaned against the counter and poured another half glass of wine. "I can't blame you for being annoyed, hell pissed off. I think he's got this idea in his head that you'll be easier to get information from. I made a deal with him upstairs." She took a swallow of the wine and sighed. "I will give him little tidbits about myself and he will stop stalking you. He wanted to know my real name or he wouldn't come to dinner." She finished her wine and set the glass down.
"Well that I figured out rather quickly my sweet." Tracey said, shaking her head and pointing to her own head. "My brain puts a lot of things together faster than most remember?"
She had to laugh and shook her head a little, pulling out a small pint of ice cream from the freezer and digging around in the utensil drawer for a spoon and dug in. Licking the spoon clean, she sighed and looked around the kitchen to make sure that everything was clean.
"It's just weird to have him stalking around like a creeper. It was bad enough that we've been hunted since we started this little escapade, but I was kind of hoping that it wouldn't happen here too. This time it's from another human being! Do what you have to, but I wouldn't worry about me spilling the beans about anything."
"I'm not worried about you spilling the beans doll. I'm worried about you killing the man." Artemis replied with a smile.
She started rummaging in the cupboards pulling out the nesting bowls and some herbs. She grabbed a few candles and a lighter. "I'm going to go try to talk to the Voice. I'm probably not going to be back out tonight so don't worry if you don't see me until morning." She looked at the wine bottle. Mind if I finish that off? Loosening my grip on reality a little will help me contact the Voice."
"Nah go ahead my dear." Tracey said with a smirk and ate another spoonful of ice cream. "You know it certainly would be easier if he didn't tempt me into killing him. I'm just going to sit on the couch for a while and read my journal and see what's on. Tomorrow I need to go to the store and get phones for us because ours keep vanishing every time we get sent to a new universe... call me if you need me."
She flopped down on the couch with her ice cream and picked up the remote.
"Hopefully you'll get a hold of it and bitch slap it for playing with our lives and sending us out to fix it's messes."